Okay, so this chapter's a bit longer than the last one. It's funny... I always thought it was a lot longer than it apparently is. A bit less eventful, too, but it really gets into the background info... meaning the past, of course... and maybe Ed's not as reliable a narrator as he seems, eh? ;) And also what exactly people think about Ed and Lizzie. And kind of how Edwin's different. Because he is.

Oh, and technically I don't own Dan either, since in this one episode from the first season Edwin's talking on the phone and says something like, "Bye, Dan!" Or whatever. So I made Dan his best friend. Because they do need best friends. Um, that's about it.

I don't own Life With Derek and all that entails. Nor do I own other things mentioned in this chapter.

Oh, and thanks for all the reviews! They're really super!

Sublimation: 1. The state change occurring when a solid becomes a gas, bypassing an intermediate liquid phase. 2. A defense mechanism where the expression of impulses and instincts, most frequently sexual urges, are transformed or channeled into other efforts in order to become more socially acceptable.

Seeing as I was in quite a dilemma, what with all those rumors flying around and the whole secretly-lusting-after-my-stepsister thing... I decided to get some advice. Now, normally I go to Dad or Derek for advice, sometimes Casey or Nora, and a lot of the time I go to Lizzie. Clearly none of these people are options because a. Derek is trying to hook me up with Lizzie, b. Dad and Nora know nothing and would not help, c. Casey would flip her lid, and d. my whole problem revolves around Lizzie.

So I went to my best friend, Dan, instead. I seriously needed to get some aggression out, so I told him I'd meet him at the hockey rink. I am no athlete, but I was shooting almost as well as Derek in my frustrated state when Dan came up behind me. Strangely enough, the rink was completely deserted. Everyone else was probably out eating lunch. Dan tapped me on the shoulder, and I almost slugged him. "Hey, Dan," I managed breathlessly. Dan gave me a queer look and waved.

"So, Ed, what's the problem?"

I sighed and turned around to face him, leaning on my hockey stick. I wracked my brain for a way to explain it. Obviously I couldn't tell him anything about this morning, but I had to tell him something. "It's those damn rumors, Dan! Everyone either thinks I'm gay or in love with my sister!" I snapped suddenly, not realizing how furious I really was. At first, Dan merely blinked.

"Why on Earth would they think you're in love with Marti? Isn't she like... eleven or thirteen or something?" he asked, looking confused. I could've smacked him in the forehead for that, but I settled for shooting him a dark look. Then he nodded, understanding with a burst of clarity. "Oh. You mean Lizzie." I nodded abruptly, rolling my eyes at him and turning back to the goal. I hit the puck with particular force, thinking of my meddling, pushy brother who refused to take no for an answer, even when it actually meant no. Damn you, Derek. This whole thing is his fault, anyway. I mean, I know it's Casey's shtick to blame Derek for the world's problems, but none of this would've happened if Lizzie wasn't in love with him.

Dan whistled. "Nice goal," he remarked. I shrugged indifferently. "You know, I would've almost thought you were Derek Venturi's little brother with the way you scored there," Dan quipped with a smirk. Cross, I shoved Dan, making him fall flat on his ass on the ice. It had been a long-standing joke between us that I was absolutely nothing like any of my siblings. I was neither athletic and charming like Derek nor artistic and wild like Marti. I wasn't particularly eco-conscious (or, again, athletic) like Lizzie, nor was I organized, anal-retentive, dramatic, and graceful like Casey. Sure, I look a bit like Derek, and I play pranks like Derek, and I have a head for business like him... and maybe I'm studious like Casey, and curious and scientific like Lizzie. And okay, so maybe Lizzie and I have the same basic attitude, but I've always been an outcast, even in my own family. Sometimes I honestly wonder if I wasn't switched at birth.

My friend shook his head and stood up somewhat awkwardly. "So you want to stop the rumors, right?" Dan asked, dusting himself off. I nodded impatiently. Duh! Dan looked at me and frowned. "Well, you're not exactly helping yourself out, Edwin. What's everyone supposed to think when you haven't dated anyone since October of last year? You're not exactly known for being very tough, and you reject easy girls like Tanya, so of course they're going to say you're gay," he explained shortly. I scowled at him, offended but also fully aware that he was right.

I sighed. "But the Lizzie thing. What about that?" I interjected. Dan looked down at the ice almost nervously.

He shook his head. "Come on, man. You really don't want me to talk to you about that," he replied cagily. I shot him a glare that said I full well did. Once again, Dan shook his head, but I advanced towards him, making him decide to quickly change his mind. He still looked like he was worried I wasn't going to like what he had to say, but he spoke anyway. "I don't see why you're making me tell you this when you already know most of it," Dan whined. I glowered at him until he continued. He sighed, resigned. "Okay, fine. Here it is. You and Lizzie are scary close. Closer than siblings should be, and you live together. She hasn't dated anyone since last year either, and it's a bit suspicious that you both stopped dating at around the same time. Two horny teenagers left alone together at night in close proximity, Ed. You do the math."

He'd said exactly what I knew he would, but I was still mad at him for saying it. Truthfully, it was pretty damn obvious, and I'd be suspicious if it wasn't me. I did, however, want to point out the fact that Marti's room was right next door to Lizzie's, and Derek's room was right across the hall, but I knew he'd just bring up the seclusion of the attic. Dan wasn't done, however. There was this strange, nervous look in his eyes as he went on. "Plus, there's something about the way you act towards Lizzie that doesn't settle right with people," he continued anxiously. I frowned, motioning for him to go on. What did he mean? I don't act weird around Lizzie, do I? She has to be the person I'm most comfortable around, after all. Dan couldn't look at me. "It's like... the other day, when the guys were saying how hot and sporty Lizzie was, and how they wanted to do her or whatever," Dan began, briefly meeting my gaze.

I remembered the day with quite a bit of clarity. Of course I hadn't stood for that. I'd wanted to deck all of them, but I'd settled for just correcting them instead. "Now, see, most guys would've said to lay off talking about their sister or would've been grossed out. One might've even gotten pissed and started a fight to defend his sister's honor. But not you, Edwin. You just shook your head, as calmly as can be, and said... 'You're wrong. Lizzie's beautiful, not hot.' Then you proceeded to say that she should be loved instead of screwed or whatever. That doesn't sound weird to you?" Dan pointed out, raising an eyebrow. I bit my lip, realizing that it sounded just as weird as Dan had said it did.

So I looked down instead, avoiding his gaze. I don't know. It made sense at the time. I just didn't like how they were objectifying her like that. She's not some sex object. She's a real girl with feelings and thoughts and emotions. Lizzie deserves better. None of them ever seem to get how much she means to me. I only want the best for her. Besides, Lizzie actually is beautiful. Since when is it so wrong to say that someone should love her instead of screw her? I'm her brother, damn it, and I'm supposed to protect her from that. I just don't get why telling the truth means I'm some freak pervert who likes his sister. Unfortunately for me, Dan seemed determined to prove a point. "Okay... If you really think there's nothing going on there, who was the first girl you ever saw naked? Not counting family," Dan questioned with a triumphant air.

I rolled my eyes. What a dumb question. "Some chick in a movie or one of Derek's pornos, probably," I retorted caustically. Dan frowned. Clearly this was not the answer he was expecting. Seriously, though, what guy isn't going to say something like that?

Then his eyes lit up, having found a way to get a better answer out of me. "In real life." Fine.

I made a big show of rolling my eyes at him, turning to the goal and scoring easily. "I don't know, Dan. The first girl I ever had sex with, I guess," I muttered tightly. Honestly, I didn't like to think about it that much. It happened in a bathroom at a party when I was fifteen. She was drunk; I was drunk. I barely even remember anything about it, much less the girl's name or face. All I remember is that she was a sloppy kisser who left lots and lots of hickeys so that I had to practically wear a turtleneck for a month. Well, actually, I wore turtlenecks for maybe a week, but still... I had to borrow them from Lizzie, and that was kind of awkward.

I also remember that she was absolutely lousy, and around my age, so it was probably her first time too. When I say lousy, I mean that I've had more satisfying one-on-one sessions than that, and I've certainly had much better. And I regret it immensely. Dan looked vaguely irritated. "Lizzie and Casey don't count as family," he said, knowing he had me there.

They do to me, I thought. I realized what he was getting at, though. So I nodded. "Fine. Lizzie was the first girl I saw naked in real life," I admitted reluctantly, looking away. I was trying to avoid remembering it. It had been for only a second back when I was in seventh grade, but the image had stuck with me for quite some time. Especially during all those cold showers I'd taken. I knew what Dan was going to say, but I was prepared. "But before you say anything, I was like, twelve... And it's not like I did it on purpose. It was only because Derek tricked me into walking in on her in the bathroom. That kind of stuff happens when you live with someone. Jeez. It wasn't like I was staring or anything," I growled irritably, skating up into a high velocity swing. I scored yet another goal. Hm, maybe I should try playing hockey.

On second thought, though, I happen to like all my teeth where they are. Besides, I'd also walked in on Casey like, five times, because of Derek tricking me. That time with Lizzie he'd said the bathroom was free. I got so far as opening the door and walking inside before I saw her. Then she screamed, and I screamed and ran out, shutting the door behind me. She wasn't even that developed anyway. I barely saw anything... except her smooth, milky white skin and the droplets of water beading on her... Okay, I really need to stop thinking of naked pubescent Lizzie. It's wrong. Frustrated with myself, I swiftly shot another goal. I never knew I was so good at playing hockey.

Dan was smirking like he'd proven a point. He hadn't, of course. I lived with Lizzie, so statistically the chances are higher that I'll run into her in some stage of undress. Some help Dan was turning out to be. "The first girl you ever kissed?" Dan inquired slyly.

I was stupid enough to reply without thinking. "Lizzie," I said automatically. Okay, I know how that looks. I'm not stupid. But it's the truth. Lizzie's also the first girl I ever French-kissed and the first person I ever made out with... just made out with, though. I didn't really grope her or anything. Dan grinned triumphantly, but he hadn't proved that I liked Lizzie. Okay, I once had a giant crush on her, but that stopped ages ago, and I never was stupid enough to tell anyone about it. And maybe now I'm attracted to her a little, but I haven't dated anyone in a long time, so I'd be attracted to just about any girl, right? Plus, there's a perfectly logical explanation for why Lizzie's the first girl I kissed.

However, it's a long one, and I really don't want to bother with telling Dan because it's personal, private, and I've never told another soul. So I shrugged and gave him the stock answer that was true enough, but not quite the real deal. "Curiosity." Naturally, Dan didn't buy it, but it really was completely innocent, and I'd almost entirely forgotten about it.

So here's the real truth... It was back when Lizzie was still dating that tool Jamie, the summer between grades eight and nine. As I remember, it was unseasonably hot that whole summer, and our air conditioning was broken. Derek was always working or hanging out with people, and Casey was tutoring kids while Marti was at day camp. This meant that Lizzie and I were usually alone all day until five or six, sometimes later. We had a business of our own going, so that usually kept us busy. If not, we hopped the fence and swam in the Davis' pool or hosed ourselves down in the yard. Often we went anywhere with air conditioning. Sometimes, on rather rare occasions, we separated and hung out with our friends (or, in Lizzie's case, Jamie).

Now, by that point, she and Jamie had been going out for a while, like a year or two. They hadn't even kissed on the lips, though. I knew Jamie had tried, but Lizzie had studiously rebuffed every one of his advances. I didn't know why until Lizzie approached me one day. I was sitting on the new black leather couch, which was sticking to my back and thighs unpleasantly. The old one was down in the basement. Lizzie came in the room, wearing a particularly skimpy (and flattering) outfit. She strode towards me as confident as can be and asked me something I'll never forget so long as I live. I'll never forget it because I've never known anyone with that much guts. "Have you ever kissed a girl, Edwin?" Lizzie implored in a low drawl.

For an eternity, I just stared at her. Had she really just asked me that? Then I regained myself eventually and shook my head no. "No," I replied slowly, pausing for deliberate effect. I wasn't embarrassed to tell her that. I told her almost everything then. "Why?" I swiped at my damp forehead, wishing fruitlessly that it wasn't so damn hot. I'd taken my shirt off and turned on the fan long ago, but I was still burning up.

Lizzie looked a little nervous then but not exactly shy. Her eyes suddenly blazed. "Because I've never kissed a boy either, and I want to kiss you," she said even more plainly. This time I did actually did gape at her, unable to believe that the girl of my dreams (then) wanted to kiss me. I thought I must've heard her wrong.

"Excuse me?!" I exclaimed out of sheer disbelief.

A faint smile appeared on Lizzie's lips. She placed a hand on her hip, and I finally noticed how her skin was shiny with sweat. "You heard me," she rejoined saucily, coming towards me. Honestly, right then I didn't know what to do. My legs and arms felt like jelly, and I felt like I was just short of melting into the couch. Lizzie sighed. "Look, Jamie's been pressuring me a lot lately. He wants to go to the next level. And I've never done it before, so I thought what if I completely suck... And so I thought I might practice on y—with you," Lizzie explained, plopping down next to me on the couch. I stared at her for a solid minute before realizing she was talking about kissing, not sex. Oops. Let my mind run a little wild there. She batted her eyelashes at me pleadingly. "Pretty, pretty, pretty please, Edwin?" Lizzie begged, pouting just a little.

Even if I hadn't been completely infatuated with her then, I wouldn't have said no. I could never say no to Lizzie when she wanted something. Still, I was a mixture of emotions. I was thrilled because I'd get to kiss Lizzie soon, yet I was also disappointed because she was only doing it because of Jamie, not to mention nervous because it was my first kiss too. I sighed and gave in formally. "Okay. You can kiss me," I conceded, turning to face her. I kept the "all you want" to myself. I really fooled her with the way I said it, making it sound like a chore.

Lizzie's eyes widened in surprise, as if she thought I wouldn't agree and couldn't believe that I had. Then, after a moment, she looked excited. She was all set to kiss me right away, but I had to know something first. So when she leaned in, I pulled back, holding her away from me. "But before I do, Lizzie, I need to know something," I said meaningfully, looking her in the eyes. Lizzie nodded dumbly, staring rather fixedly at my lips. "Why me?" Lizzie pursed her lips and seriously contemplated it, looking away from me.

She shrugged after a long pause, unable to meet my gaze. Was she guilty or embarrassed or what? Eventually, though, Liz answered me. She sure took her sweet time thinking, though. "Because you're my best friend. And I trust you. And I know you'll never tell anyone or try anything. Plus... you're kinda cute, and... you think I'm pretty enough, right? And, oh, I don't know! There's just something abou-" Lizzie rambled endearingly.

Or, at least, she did until I cut her off with a kiss. On some level, I was flattered that she'd chosen me. After all, even if she was doing it for Jamie's benefit, she had chosen me over him. It meant a lot that she trusted me so much. No one had ever really put any faith in me before. It was that never try anything bit that got me, though, because I wanted to try something so badly I could taste it. But she had said I was cute, and that was something. The kiss went pretty excellently, if I do say so myself. To the risk of sounding like a girl, it was the absolute perfect first kiss.

It was really only a soft peck, and it didn't last very long. Lizzie was too surprised to kiss back much, and I was the one who broke the kiss, anxious and hoping she didn't regret telling me to do that. I waited for a reaction, staring at her with baited breath. Then Lizzie smiled brilliantly. Her eyes sparkled in the sunlight. "Wow. That was nice," she whispered breathlessly. The corners of her lips twitched into a smirk as she played with the hairs at the base of my neck. "You sure you haven't done that before?" she asked in a low, husky voice. I shook my head slowly.

I felt an embarrassed blush creeping over my cheeks, so I flashed her a roguish smile in an attempt to compensate. "How 'bout I show you how they do it in France?" I replied flirtatiously. Okay, corny, I know, but I was a scrawny fourteen-year-old who'd been dreaming of her since approximately sixth grade. Good lines were not in my vocabulary, and it wasn't as if Lizzie cared anyway.

Wow. Is this a pattern, her using me when she can't have who she really wants or whatever? If so, it's very wrong and creepy.

So I kissed her after that, and her mouth slid open to me like butter. It felt like a dream come true. I kissed her harder, more passionately than before. I guess I surprised the both of us, but Lizzie surprised me even more by doing this amazing thing with her tongue and grabbing my face, pulling me closer to her. That time, it was Lizzie who pulled away, gasping for breath. Me, well, I could care less if I died. As long as she was still kissing me I'd die a happy man. I just couldn't get enough of her. Now that I'd finally kissed her, it made me wonder how gutless and wussy and just plain stupid Jamie had to be to not just plant one on her. Lizzie smiled at me lopsidedly before the smile suddenly dropped off her face. She licked her lips thirstily. "Edwin, you know what you're doing. I'm sure you don't really need me for practice when you-" Lizzie said quite seriously.

Once again, I interrupted her with a kiss, feeling very satisfied. I kept kissing her until my lungs burned for air. Only then did I pull away. I flashed her a smile—Derek's smirk, now that I think about it. "Not so fast, Lizzie. I need lots and lots of practice, and you are just the girl to help me. Besides, I think you could definitely use a bit more practice before you face Jamie," I murmured seductively, still dazed. As the Boy Scouts say, "Be prepared." In reality, I wanted to keep kissing her for as long as I could manage it, and I didn't want her laying any of these moves on undeserving Jamie. Lizzie knew it too.

She grinned back at me before capturing my lips in a kiss yet again. And then, a few minutes later, she let me take off her shirt. Lizzie's not a slut. She was just hot, and she was wearing a bra or swimsuit anyway. Anyway, so that continued for practically the rest of the summer. Lizzie saw Jamie fewer and fewer times as the summer went on, and I never heard either of them mention kissing so I assumed that she was saving all her kisses for me. All Lizzie ever said to me about Jamie was how routine it was getting, but he was still such a good friend and so sweet, even if she did want to break it off with him. I didn't care much since I knew I had the upper hand. It felt good to be in control.

I swear, Lizzie and I made out anywhere and anytime we could that summer, as long as it didn't seem suspicious. We could barely keep our hands off of each other. It was intoxicating and fun, and it felt so disgustingly good I could barely stand it. Some days the urge to touch her practically overwhelmed me, especially when the family was home, preventing us from being alone together. Now that I think about it, it's a wonder I didn't have sex with her that summer. I wanted to, of course, and my hands wandered, occasionally brushing against forbidden spots, but it was never anything serious.

Then the summer ended, and it was cool again. Lizzie was like the weather. Whatever it was between us ended suddenly one day in the middle of September. It started when I slipped my hand between her legs at dinner. I was feeling particularly daring and hungry that night, so I pushed aside her underwear, brushing my fingers against the sensitive skin. She clenched her legs together tightly so that my hand was stuck there. She shook her head no, but I saw the yes in her eyes. I wiggled my fingers expertly, and Lizzie bit down hard on her bottom lip. Her skin was velvety soft and slippery.

She liked it, though. I could tell by the way she bit her lip hard enough to draw blood, and the way she leaned back all the way in her chair. She was mostly silent, letting out a long sigh and a low moan I had to cough to drown out. Lizzie shot me a look, but I just kept on eating casually. I noticed Derek giving me a strange look across the table, but I could really care less at the time. I kept my hand right where it was and only removed it when I was done. Lizzie spread her legs, looking flushed. I smirked at her and ate ravenously, feeling rather pleased with myself.

After dinner, Lizzie stalked upstairs, dragging her with me into the Games Closet. It was a familiar hangout for us, but perhaps one of few places in that house where we hadn't made out. The minute we got in there, she locked the door behind us. I was kind of excited at that, thinking I might get lucky or something, but that wasn't what happened. The air was charged with tension. As soon as we got in there, she whirled around and slapped me hard across the face. "Who do you think you are, Ed? Touching me like that when I didn't want you to... at dinner, for crying out loud!" Lizzie snarled, looking like a wildcat.

I was ridiculously attracted to her at that moment, so I wasn't thinking so clearly. "I didn't hear you complaining, Liz. As a matter of fact, I think you liked it," I retorted perhaps a bit too cockily for Lizzie's taste. She rolled her eyes, looking thoroughly disgusted with me. Oddly enough, she was not embarrassed like I'd expected. I was right, and she knew that, but that didn't mean she was going to admit it. Lizzie's face was mildly pink, though, and she couldn't look at me straight. She crossed her arms over her chest defensively.

She scowled at me peevishly. "Just shut up, Edwin! Our arrangement's through," she replied crossly. I raised an eyebrow at her, smirking slowly. She had never called it that before—never even given it a name. Lizzie exhaled irritably, still glowering at me. "Well, that's what it was... Until you crossed that line today, Edwin. Besides, I've been meaning to go out with Jamie more oft-" she clarified. That was enough for me, thank you. I knew she was lying straight through her teeth.

"Oh, please, Lizzie! You seriously expect me to believe that? You let me do that... and you haven't even kissed Jamie on the mouth yet after three years of dating," I shot back quickly. I gave her a look that said more than any words she could offer in defense. Come on, letting your stepbrother feel you up when you won't even let your boyfriend kiss your lips? It doesn't take an advanced knowledge of probability to realize that doesn't add up. Lizzie closed her mouth because she really couldn't say anything to contradict me.

I sighed, though, and decided to accept it. No matter how I felt about Lizzie (and I was completely over the moon for her then), I wasn't going to make her do something she didn't want. I was disappointed, of course. It had almost seemed like she'd had feelings of some sort for me, at any rate. I'd liked to imagine that maybe, just maybe she did, and that someday we might... go out. Lizzie was leaving me with a lot of unanswered questions, and I couldn't help but feel like she was hiding something from me, but if that was the way she wanted to play...

"Fine. You want to end it because this freaks you out. Then it's done," I declared firmly. Lizzie's eyes widened in surprise. She clearly hadn't been expecting that. "Just one thing," I requested mysteriously. Lizzie pursed her lips, sending me a questioning glance. "A kiss." I grabbed her and planted my lips on hers, kissing her passionately before she could even protest. Lizzie fell back helpless against the shelves, knocking some things to the floor. I kissed her until I felt like I was going to pass out from lack of oxygen, holding on, not letting her go until it was over. Then, panting, I turned on my heel and left her there, dizzy, claustrophobic, and speechless.

Derek would've been proud.

I never did find out why she kept it up for so long. I guess I was just a good kisser, and she'd never kissed anyone else. We made a secret, silent, mutual pact that day to never bring it up again, and we've kept that promise. I wasn't happy about it, but I got over it eventually. When she broke up with Jamie a few months later, I tried not to think it had something to do with me. Since I couldn't think about it, or even mention it, I shut up and forgot all about it until now. Despite that, thinking about it makes me blush horribly. I hate that. Derek never blushes.

Okay, yeah, now that I think about it, this sounds exactly as perverted as I feared it would. I guess I just really haven't thought about it since that night. I'd kind of forgotten all that had transpired, which made me feel slightly better. I guess I'd done worse to Lizzie as a kid. It was really just two curious kids kissing and... exploring. Not even that much of the latter, really. It was just a physical thing, though, back when I was so hormonal and frustrated I wanted to jump every girl in sight.

My thoughts were interrupted when a puck collided painfully with the side of my head. I turned to glower at Dan. Some friend he is. I rubbed my head. Dan raised an eyebrow. "Something tells me you did more than just kiss her," he muttered suspiciously. I full-on scowled at him and swerved to shoot a puck. It hit him in the stomach.

"Knock it off, man," I growled. "It was a long time ago. I was a kid then." Dan groaned, glaring back at me, managing to pull himself into a standing position. Now he knew not to push me. Hmm, I guess all that hockey "practice" with Derek rubbed off on me.

Dan was still trying to catch his breath, straightening fast but still clutching his stomach in pain. He sounded pretty winded, but he managed a laugh. "Who was the first girl you slept with?" He asked with a smirk, like he thought my answer was going to be Lizzie. It's not. I don't even remember her name.

I shot him a look, shooting the puck again. This time I missed. "It sure as hell wasn't Lizzie, if that's what you're asking. Besides, that's none of your business," I retorted swiftly. Dan frowned, unhappy his theory had been disproven. Although, if you take that in the literal sense, the answer is actually Lizzie. That's not, of course, what Dan has in mind.

He smirked. "Of course. A gentleman never kisses and tells," he exclaimed. I nodded shortly, aiming at the goal once again. I missed again. Apparently I don't have Derek's aptitude for hockey after all. Can't say I'm surprised; I've never been that athletic. A predatory, questioning gleam appeared in my friend's eyes. "What did she look like?" Dan asked eagerly, probably thinking that the girl either was Lizzie and I don't remember, or, at the very least, resembled her greatly.

I rolled my eyes, taking another shot. This time I hit the goal but didn't score. I swore under my breath, wondering why my aim seemed to be getting worse. "I don't remember!" I hissed, turning to shoot another goal. I came forward to shoot and wound up falling flat on my face. Ow. I rubbed my nose, stumbling to my feet after falling once or twice. I dusted myself off, feeling rather chilly from a combination of the ice and the cold sweat trickling down the back of my neck.

Dan skated up beside me, frowning slightly. He seemed to realize it was a touchy subject. "So," he inquired in a far more casual tone, "where is your stepsister anyway?" Lizzie and I usually went to the hockey rink together so she could practice for ice hockey. She likes to practice her moves on me (seems like a theme, doesn't it?), so I guess I've gradually gotten better at the sport. I looked up at Dan, wiping some flakes of ice off of my face and chin. Now that question I could actually answer. Feeling much more stable on my feet, I decided to try and score an easy goal. I skated up closer to my target, easily tapping the puck into the net.

"She's with some of her weird environmentalist friends, planning next year's Earth Day celebration. Lizzie's head of the committee, so she's in charge of everything. I think they're also having a meeting about next week's protest. They're "saving the whales" or something," I explained, rolling my eyes. Obviously I never took that attitude around Lizzie, who took matters of nature and the environment very seriously (she has always been a Biology nerd), but her eco-friends were creepy, smelly people. They did not at all resemble the nice Planeteers you see on cartoons. Her friends are, rather, militant tree-huggers.

It's not that I don't care about the environment because of course I do. It just doesn't consume me like it consumes Lizzie. Sure, I felt guilty after watching An Inconvenient Truth, and we recycle... but I like to flush the toilet, shower, and brush my teeth. I try to do my part by running groundwater tests for Lizzie and helping her think of ways to become more fuel-efficient, but complete carbon-neutrality at SJST by the end of Senior Year... just is not going to happen. That girl is either going to become a scientist who prowls the rainforests, an agent of the CEAA, or a card-carrying member of Greenpeace.

Dan nodded as a disgusted look crossed his face. Like I said, her friends are severely lacking in the hygiene department. One of them vows she won't shower until Quebec is free... On second thought, though, that might be Tibet.

I brought the hockey stick back, bringing it forward a bit faster, almost listlessly, to hit the puck. Once again, I scored, but I didn't feel satisfied. I just felt tired. I shot a sideways glance at my friend, the only person I'd trusted with even a little bit of the confusing and conflicting bits of information at my fingertips. Maybe he'll be able to help me. So I sighed raggedly, leaning on my hockey stick. "So, D, what's the answer? How do I correct this?" I implored almost pleadingly.

He looked away from me at first, either unable to look at me or lost in thought. Then he lifted his head up, his eyes gleaming with an idea. From the cautious way he dropped his head back down again and looked at me sideways, I could tell that he didn't expect me to like what he had to say. Dan, however, hadn't counted on my desperation. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Dan spoke. "You're really not going to like this, Ed." I rolled my eyes at him, impatiently motioning for him to go on. "Way I see it, you have two options. You can either get yourself a steady girlfriend or start dating every girl in school... Or just ditch Lizzie. I know she's important to you, Ed, but you two can't always be so close. You'll be separated sooner or later, and it's really better if-" Dan began to elucidate calmly.

Or at least he did before I cut him off. My eyes flashed dangerously, shooting him a dark glare. I am not going to drop my best friend because of a couple rumors, or pick up a girlfriend just because it's convenient. If I do that, it's like I really do have something to hide. "You know I can't do that." I said it without question, just a simple statement of fact.

Dan nodded plainly, frowning. "I do... But that doesn't change the fact that it doesn't sit right with people. You don't sit right with people, Edwin, because you're different," he stressed, trying to prove a point about how the rest of our school is filled with conformist jocks and princesses. Then Dan's lips curled up into a smirk. "I think it would actually be less weird if you dated Lizzie because they'd at least understand that. Right now, Edwin, you are a virtual enigma to them. They don't like you because you don't fit into their plans. You're not predictable, and there's no telling what you can do. These people, they will never understand you," Dan declared somewhat philosophically. I was rather impressed by this show, adding mentally the reason why they started the rumors: because they didn't understand me and feared me.

I don't care what anybody thinks about me. I guess you could say I'm stronger than Derek in that way, because he's always cared about that. I do, however, care if people think I'm dating my stepsister, but I'm not going to let it consume me. I sighed, shooting another goal with a bit more force than was necessary. I guess I'm just going to have to learn to deal with this.

Still, it might be good to start dating again...

Loren ;*

Thanks for all the reviews!