Dead End?
Disclaimer: As usual, I don't own anything.
Author's Note: I want to know how the story is going. If you don't like it, let me know. Or—better yet—if you do like it, let me know. : )
One word: Frustration
Harm was at a complete loss. He had gone into this 'search for truth' with determination, but now that too was failing him. Even though he had tried his best to figure out Sarah Mackenzie, he was fighting a losing battle.
'Damn, damn, damn. I haven't even scratched the surface. All I know is that she has never reacted the same way twice. How can someone not know that you love them if you give up your career, risk your life, and stand by her without falter?'
The rain pouring outside seemed to match the predicament he had found himself in: dreary and no end in sight. He sat in the stillness of his apartment and watched the rain trickle down the window pane. His mood had diminished greatly when Bud told him the Mac had made it home on Thursday day night—two days after he left the note—but she still had not called him. It would seem that most people could easily see that they belonged together, but they never seemed be able to get it right. It was always a misunderstanding, the words left unsaid, and the moments interrupted that kept them apart. He knew they had something really special, but forever? Forever is a really long time. Harm knew that there was no one else he would or could spend it with, but it all required them to let go of their pride. They had to learn to sacrifice. He spent the night on the couch with guitar in hand. The melodies he picked out would range from songs of scorn and heartache to those of passionate and unfailing love. His confusion eventually wore him down to his bare soul. A flood of emotion came pouring out. For every beautiful piece of her complexity, he could find an equally exasperating one. But, he realized that he loved each element that made up the one and only Sarah Mackenzie. He reached for the phone and dialed the number of the one who knew him best in the world, his Grandmother.
A gentle voice answered, "Hello."
"Hey, Gran. It's me."
"Harm? Baby, what's wrong?"
"Nothing, I just wanted to check on you," he said in a not too convincing tone.
"Darling, I put diapers on you, so I know when you are lying to me. Is it Mac?"
He let out a feeble laugh, "Isn't it always her?"
"That's what it's like to love someone, especially when you have to live without them."
"I'm terrified that one day I will wake up, and she will be gone. That I will be walking down the street and see her with someone else. I don't think I could handle that, Gran."
"Harm, if true love were simple, then everyone would have it."
"Is that what you think she and I have," he said in a sarcastic tone.
"You need to open your eyes, my boy. You have your father and grandfather's blood running through and though. They were both wonderful men with enough pride to go around, but they eventually learned that at least one person in the world was worth losing it for."
"She once reached out to me, but…I just couldn't. Not then."
"Well, was it a mistake?"
"I don't know, Gran. Sometimes I think that it was, but at others…..I just don't know. We have grown so much since then."
"Maybe, it is your turn. She once loved you enough to let go of all her inhibitions."
"That's the thing: does she still love me?"
"Harm, I wish I could answer that question. But, I know this: I have never known a woman that captivated your every thought and emotion like this one does. She is something special. Something to hold on to."
"Yes mam, I know."
"Harm, I love you. I want you to be happy, no matter what or who you are with."
"I love you too, Gran. There are just so many unknowns."
"Well then, find the answers. Just follow you heart and be true to yourself."
As the conversation dwindled to an end, Harm knew that his grandmother was the wisest woman he would ever know. She always helped him to get through whatever he was going through. Mac was a frequent subject between the two of them, but he had yet to figure out how to approach the topic of, 'I Love You.'
'How do you bridge the gap between two people who are so afraid of being hurt?'