Title: Tony & Ziva's Rules of Engagement: Just Do It
Author: rekkidbraka
Rating: T
Pairings: Tony D. and Ziva D.
Category: Romance; humor; angst
Disclaimer: No infringement intended.
Spoilers: None.
Summary: Tony DiNozzo and Ziva David take on their toughest assignment yet: traveling the globe to handle NCIS cases while planning their wedding. Super sexy TIVA. Warning: Intense sexual content in some chapters. No slash.
-------------------- Tony & Ziva's Rules of Engagement: Just Do It ---------------------
Oslo, Norway
"Do you see anything of particular... interest, my little furry mutt?" Ziva purred, rubbing Tony's shoulders as he lay stretched out on the massage table wearing nothing but a bath towel.
"Yes I do, Sweet Cheeks," Tony replied, "...the HEATER. I'm freezin' my nads off! Can we speed this along, Muffin Top? Before I develop frostbite in some sensitive areas?" He shuddered, a chill enveloping him. "Oh no... I think it's already starting. Friction — that'll warm me right up. Rub harder, Ziva!" She worked his shoulders more aggressively, but Tony responded with, "No -- not THERE! I was talking about my..." He started to turn over onto his back. Ziva pushed him down roughly onto his stomach.
"I suggest you stop talking now, Tony," Ziva said, digging her nails into his shoulders. "Relax, my love," she continued, "and enjoy this special time we are sharing together." Tony grimaced in obvious pain, letting out a little whine.
Ziva continued her "massage" efforts while peering out the duo's hotel suite window. She'd hoped to see the occupant of an apartment across the way come onto his balcony. According to NCIS, the man was expecting a "guest" that Gibbs' team had been tracking globally. This rogue NCIS agent had made off with the evidence from a weapons heist and was working to sell it to a contact in Oslo. Tony and Ziva were there to take him down and bring him back to face charges.
"Ahhhh..." Tony moaned, barely able to stand anymore of the torture being inflicted upon him. "GAAAAAUUGGGGHHHH!" As Ziva's palms pummeled his shoulder blades he winced, writhing in agony. "Naaaaagggghhhh..."
Ziva's full attention was now fixed on the balcony across the way. The apartment owner had come out to enjoy the cold, gray day — and the man they'd been seeking had joined him.
Now she began slap-chopping Tony's back with her hands, causing his teeth to chatter.
"P-P-P-P-l-l-l-e-e-e-e-e-a-a-a-a-s-e... s-s-s-s-s-s-t-t-t-t-o-p-p-p-p-p... n-n-n-n-n-o-w-w-w-w..." Tony stuttered, his body shaking from Ziva's too-strong muscle chops. He was getting dizzy; the room was jumping up and down in front of him.
Tony got his wish when Ziva suddenly bolted from the room, having witnessed the duo across the way make a weapons exchange.
"Thank... you... GOD," Tony whimpered, sharp pains coursing through his body. He couldn't move, ironically having stiffened up from the pounding he'd taken from Ziva.
Hearing a series of shots going off in the street outside the hotel window, however, brought Tony immediately to his feet. Nothing crossed his mind — not the stiffness in his back or the terrible achiness he felt with each step he took. His only thought was to get to Ziva, make sure she was okay. Grabbing his gun, he raced out of the hotel room, rushing down the stairs at top speed. She needed backup. Once again, he hadn't been prepared. Furious at not having taken the assignment as seriously as he should have and putting his fianceé at risk, Tony cursed himself as he exited the stairwell, bolting through the hotel lobby. The other guests gaped at him in shock. Then again, they probably weren't used to shootouts just outside their front doors in broad daylight.
Making his way onto the street, Tony found that yet again he was one step behind. Ziva had the situation well in hand, having taken down the NCIS target with a shot to the leg while she had nailed the weapons dealer in the shoulder. Both men were down on the ground, injured but not in serious danger, being tended to by local police and emergency personnel. Panting from his long run downstairs, Tony watched as Ziva received congratulations from an Interpol official at the scene. After catching his breath somewhat, Tony made his way to where Ziva and the man stood chatting.
"Fine work as usual, Sweet Cheeks," Tony said, smiling broadly. He flashed the Interpol official his most dazzling grin. "Ain't she somethin'?"
Just then, Tony noticed that both Ziva and the Interpol official were staring at him. So was everyone else on the street. Some people were pointing in his direction. Mothers shielded their childrens' eyes. Young men cracked up, taking cellphone pictures of him. A pair of buxom young blonde girls strolled by, glanced down at Tony and wolf-whistled at him, winking. The Interpol official's face was beet red. Ziva, however, merely raised an eyebrow at the man she loved, smirking.
And the cold, again, hit Tony at that moment. In some sensitive areas.
Looking down, he realized that in his haste to reach Ziva he'd lost his bath towel back in the hotel room and was standing in the center of downtown Oslo completely naked.
"I would suggest that you holster your weapon, my little furry mutt," Ziva purred, a smile playing at the corners of her mouth, "but I see that might be a problem." Her eyes roamed the length of Tony's body. She was enjoying this.
"Looks like you've got things all wrapped up here," Tony said with a loud sniff, trying to act as nonchalant as possible given the circumstances, "so if you'll both excuse me, there are some... things... I need to get... wrapped up... there." He looked up towards the hotel room where his towel awaited him and, turning on his heels with a grimace, casually strolled back into the hotel as if nothing at all had happened.
"The tuxedo he has selected for our wedding is quite handsome," Ziva told the Interpol official, who watched in stunned silence as Tony's naked rear end disappeared from view. "I can only hope he remembers to actually wear it to the ceremony."