The Case Of The Missing Muse

MISSING PERSON/THING POSTER

Help needed… Muse is missing.

Last seen: The Omega Countdown, Tipping The Balance and in the general vicinity of the X-Files fanfiction.

I can't quite describe the muse all I can say is that you'll know it when you see it, a word of warning, approach with extreme caution.

Generous reward offered: Whoever hands over my muse, will have a nice story written about them in the X-File universe about what they want. Any idea will be taken, there's nothing too silly or too outrageous for me. After all, read my other stories.

Contact me via whatever with any information needed.
Signed: Fictionnaire.

That was one of the many posters I've already plastered around. Hopefully someone would answer it. Anybody? Anybody? No? Of course it wouldn't be that easy… Excuse me while I…

Drat! Oh lord! Oh man! Oh boy.

I hate this General rating thing. It's terrible when you can't even swear like you want to. Yeah I know that that doesn't achieve anything but one has to let go sometimes. I checked the rearview mirror. It was surprising to see that they had taken to the drinking game so quickly. Perhaps telling them about the game was a mistake.

A ten minute drive to Krychek's location turned into an hour's drive. When I said I drove, I didn't say I drove too fast now did I? At least I wasn't bunny hopping the car now.

Mulder and Scully staggered out of the car. "I missed the new year's party," Mulder sighed drunkenly. "I think I missed half the year to."

"Yeah," Scully replied laughing.

"Shut up… I wasn't that slow," I told them before knocking on the door anxiously.

"Hang on," That familiar quiet voice said. I heard the footsteps approach the door and the door finally open.

"Alex Krychek," I said eagerly as I shook his hand vigorously and tapped the arm. "This is an honor," Krychek was scary looking. I was half expecting to see him with full blackness in his eyes.

"And you are?" He asked me.

"Fictionnaire," I answered quickly. "Can I come in and ask you a few questions?' I asked him.

"If you stop shaking my hand," Krychek answered me.

"Sorry," I didn't realize I was still vigorously shaking his hand so I finally stopped. "Mulder… Scully, come inside." There was something amiss here, I still felt like I had hold of his hand. I looked down and saw I had hold of Krychek's fake arm. "Woops," I sheepishly said as I handed back his arm. "Sorry," was all I could say as I tried to reattach it. It wasn't as easy as I thought it'd be. "Sorry," I handed his arm back to him.

"What brings you lot to my place?" Krychek asked, still looking at the suspiciously drunk Mulder and Scully. "What happened to them?"

"I introduced them to the X-File drinking game," I answered. Yes, that was definitely a mistake. "Every time Scully says Oh My God, they have to take a drink," I nodded in their direction. As he clearly saw, the game was in full swing.

"Figures," Krychek said. "So what brings you lot around here?" He was beginning to sound impatient.

"Beer run!" Mulder shouted.

I wanted to hide, this was embarrassing. "Are you familiar with muses?" I asked him.

"Of course I am… I rely on mine for songwriting," Krychek told me.

"Really?" I asked. "I didn't think you sung," I said. Well that was true, I knew Nicholas Lea sung but never once thought that Krychek would.

"Yeah," Krychek said. "What's this about?"

"I lost my muse," I said pathetically. For those who've seen the Supernatural episode Bad Day at Black Rock would understand this line. I sounded like Sam saying, 'I lost my shoe'. It seemed so fruitful to even think I could find it. I wonder if I could hold someone else's muse for ransom… Hmm that's beginning to look like a good move actually. If I can't have mine… Nobody can. MUAHAHAHAHA.

Sorry, got carried away there.

"Oh?" Krychek asked. "Let me guess, you think I had something to do with it," he said. That wasn't what I was thinking at all.

"No… No, oh no." I said, "No, not at all," I told him. "I really just wanted to meet you. But I do have one question for you… How the hell do you keep hold of your muse?" I asked him seriously. People always have their muse and never lose it. Well I have, I needed away to keep it if I ever did find it.

Krychek leaned forward with a serious look on his face. "I keep mine in the closet," he answered.

"Really?" I asked.

"Yeah," he answered. "It's never been out of the closet and I prefer it in there," Krychek said so seriously, I almost had to laugh. Fortunately, I was able to hold down my laughter with a cough and a nod.

"Hey," Mulder was beginning to sober up. "Krychek, have you got his muse?" He asked. "We all know how much of a troublemaker you are," he said accusingly.

"Don't you dare accuse me of this Mulder," Krychek said. "I maybe a troublemaker as you so aptly put it," he said. "But I will NOT steal anyone's muse."

"Would you submit yourself to a lie detector test?" This time Scully chimed in.

"No way," Krychek said quietly.

I was annoyed that the two began ganging up on Krychek. How dare they do that while they're around me? But there was one niggling question I wanted to ask him… Maybe hooking up to a lie detector would finally get the truthful answer. Of course that wouldn't be any good. Krychek's too smart for that, he'd fool a lie detector rather easily.

I stood near the door. "Oh can I just say, how much I admire you Krychek?" I opened the door. "I really love you," I told him.

"Damnit, I'm not Gay! I'm gonna kill you Mulder… You wrote about me on Wiki and now everybody thinks I'm Gay," Krychek said. I could hear him as I called for Mulder and Scully to escape. There's no way in hell I want to be held responsible for killing off everybody's favorite duo.

"Where to next?" Mulder asked me after he took the driver's seat as well.

"To X-Filer and Daniel Addiction's house," I answered. Who here wants to put a wager on them holding my muse at their place? I can really imagine them torturing my muse with Ten Good Reasons stories. I huffed in anger… Them two are going to wish they didn't have my muse if they did. "Step on it Mulder," I ordered him.