Why You Should Not Trust Emmet as a Babysitter
Chapter IV
Written by: AllApologies451994
Disclaimer: I do NOT own Twilight, any of its characters, "I'm Not Okay" by MCR, or "Dumb" by Nirvana. Those songs go to their respective owners. And Twilight goes to Stephanie Meyer.
Emmet was growing frustrated. His family had been gone all day and half of the night, and Renesmee was just as aggravating as ever. She wouldn't even take that turtle from the last chapter outside; she insisted on keeping it as a pet in her room. As hard as he tried to get her to take it out, she would not listen. She even went so far as to drop it down his pants. It was not pretty.
So, he tried to sing her 'lullaby' to her, which if you remember from a while back is Demolition Lovers by MCR. This, to Emmet's misfortune, did not work. Instead, she bothered him over the meanings of certain words. "Emmet, what does 'demolition' mean?"
"It's when you blow crap up."
"Ew, why would you blow crap up? That's disgusting."
"Not literal crap! Just junk people don't need anymore."
"Then why did you say...?"
"Forget what I said. Aren't you supposed to be asleep, anyways?"
"...You can't prove that."
So, they sat there for a while, Emmet trying to convince Renesmee to get to sleep and Renesmee ignoring him while listening to Jasper's iPod. Emmet, of course, did not like being ignored, but if it shut the tyke up, why not leave her alone?
So, out of thin air, he materialized ANOTHER GameInformer and started reading it. How he does that, no one may ever know. No one may ever WANT to know. But, o well. What can you do?
Suddenly, Renesmee gasped. "Emmet, this song is cursing! Make it stop!" "Pause it, runt!"
So she did.
"What are you even listening to, anyways?" She shoved the iPod in his face to reveal this:
Down With the Sickness
Disturbed
The Sickness
"AHHHHH!!!!! THAT'S NOT FITTING FOR A CHILD TO LISTEN TO! TURN IT OFF!!!" Not much to Emmet's surprise, she didn't. She just changed the song. He looked over to see what was playing, and it was High Voltage by Linkin Park. He decided it was appropriate for a child to listen to, and let her go about her business.
Emmet started humming cheerfully around the house. Why, you ask? Because he finally got that brat to hush, that's why. If you listen closely, you can hear him occasionally singing the lyrics and laughing. He went into the kitchen, grabbed some Skittles, handed them to Rensmee, and sat down. He began singing again:
"Well if you wanted honesty that's all you had to say
I never want to let you down or have you go
It's better off this way
For all the dirty looks
For photographs your boyfriend took
Remember when you broke your foot from jumping out the second floor
I'm not okay
I'm not okay
I'm not okay
You wear me out..."
Renesmee looked at him funny, and then opened the Skittles and began to eat. She then paused. "Emmet... you didn't happen to poison these, did you?" "No, of course not. Why do you ask?" "Because you gave them to ME. That's why." He rolled his eyes and turned back to his GameInformer.
She then gave him a suspicious look, but finished off her Skittles anyway. It seemed she really enjoyed them, for she went in the kitchen to find some more. To her dismay, there weren't any more. So she sighed and went back in to the room.
She turned on the TV and began to watch some weird show about how to make shrunken heads. After being thoroughly grossed out, though, she turned it on Spongebob. She laughed at how big of an idiot Patrick was, and scowled whenever Squidward came on screen. Finally, she began to get tuckered out, and fell asleep with Jasper's iPod still in her ears. And yes, she was listening to it the whole time, even while watching Spongebob.
She fell asleep with the sweet voice of Kurt Cobain in her ears:
"I'm not like them, but I can pretend
The sun is gone, but I have a light
The day is done, but I'm having fun
I think I'm dumb
Or maybe just happy
Think I'm just happy
Think I'm just happy
Think I'm just happy...."
A/N: Well, there you have it. The fourth chapter of WYSNTEaaB. And yes, that's some funny initals. Almost like YKWTDtGLUiP. If you know what that stands for, I applaud you, for you are awesome. But if you can't, it's You Know What They Do to Guys Like Us in Prison, a song by MCR. But I've gotten side-tracked. But I think you know the drill by now: if you like it, comment, and if you don't like it, comment anyways on telling me how to make it better. And thank you to all the subscribers/commenters out there already, I appreciate it. So, remember: comments are love :)