CHAPTER 4; The one worth crushing

Akaya rolled over in bed. Marui lay, not too far from him. It had been about a month since Marui had been allowed to come home to his new boyfriend. Akaya's smaller wounds had mostly healed up. Marui's condition had changed drastically as well. It had taken him longer than expected to recover. The drug that had been slipped into his drink turned into a material that was poisonous to the human body when it combined with sugar. Akaya swore the doctor's eyes had popped out of his head when the when Marui's blood test came back and he spotted the sugar content. He had had the same reaction to them cuddling as well. Akaya laughed at the thought, but had to stop because his broken ribs made it painful. Marui's diet had become a strict, low sugar diet. Marui had always been a picky eater with a sweet tooth so naturally; he refused what they gave him. After a couple of weeks, he had become severely under weight. The doctor was forced to sedate him and put a feeding tube in. Marui then wined that he felt funny. The doctor's explanation that he had been hungry and his body was simply feeding him didn't go over well. Marui was only released because the doctors and nursed couldn't take the constant complaining. The smaller, less important reason for his release was that the drug had been washed out of his system. After Marui was let out of the hospital, Akaya took Marui out to lunch in order to celebrate. That was when Marui had popped the question.

"Will you be my Boyfriend?..."

There had been a very long, blushy silence before the response of.

"Y-yes..."

The phone next to the bed rang and Marui shifted in his sleep. Akaya sighed and picked it up.

"Hello?"

"Hello? Marui? You need to come home!"

Akaya thought this was a little awkward.

"Err... This isn't Marui..."

"What?! Who are you?! Why are you answering my son's phone?!"

Akaya assumed that this woman must be Marui's mother.

"I'm his..."

He chose his words carefully.

"Room mate..."



During the long pause that fallowed, Marui grabbed Akaya around the middle and nuzzled his belly with his cheek. Akaya gave a squeak of discomfort as his boyfriend brushed his tender rib cage.

"What was that?"

"Nothing!"

The woman sighed.

"Just put him on the phone."

Akaya glanced down at Marui's peaceful face. He had didn't want to wake him.

"Just one second."

Akaya shook Marui's shoulder.

"What?"

"Your mom's on the phone."

"Mm..."

He turned over so that Akaya's firm belly would serve as a pillow. Akaya stroked his messy red hair.

"Hey Mama. Yeah... Yeah... uh-huh... I see... Yes Mama... I'll be sure to come home as soon as I can... Okay. Love you too. Bye. Baby, could you hang this up for me? Thanks."

Akaya felt the heat rise in his face. Marui had called him 'baby' when his mother was still on the line. Talk about embarrassing!

"My dad broke his leg."

This bluntness caught Akaya off guard.

"Oh, I'm sorry."

"Don't be. He just never remembers how hard the other soccer players can kick."

"Oh."

Marui turned so that his cheek rested on Akaya's chest.

"Mom wants me to fly in and see them in Osaka as soon as I can."

He pulled the blankets up to his neck and nuzzled Akaya, tickling him with his hair.

"So do you want to get up?"

"No..."



Akaya had no say in the matter. Marui fell asleep on top of him and there was no way he could move without jerking his boyfriend rudely awake.

Marui and Akaya kissed passionately. Eventually, Marui let his language fall and wrapped his arms around Akaya's neck. They were interrupted by the airport loud speaker.

"Final boarding call for flight 177!"

Akaya barely managed to pant a few words in between kisses.

"I- I think you- you need to- to get on your plane..."

Marui licked the entire inside of his mouth. A shiver ran down Akaya's spine and he gave a little moan. Marui said his goodbyes, but before he left, Akaya latched around his middle.

"I'm going to miss you so much."

"I'll miss you too."

Marui started toward the terminal, but before he had disappeared he heard Akaya call after him.

"I love you!"

There was no time to react. He had to board the plane without giving a reply. Or it would leave without him.

Akaya huddled under the blankets in his and Marui's room. Nothing was keeping him warm. He had tried, what seemed to be, everything. Akaya stood. His knees trembled and he nearly lost his balance. Akaya removed all of his clothing, feeling little change in temperature if any. He walked, teeth chattering, to the restroom. There was only one thing he hadn't tried. Akaya reached into the shower and pushed the knob so that it was on the highest possible temperature. The water was hot, too hot. Yet, to Akaya, it was like trying to keep hold of water in your hands. It was hot on his skin, but it would sink no further. Akaya knew the boiling liquid was probably burning his back and irritating his wounds, yet it had rendered him helpless. Akaya could no longer move. He was a sitting duck.

The first thing Akaya remembered was being pulled, soaking wet, from his bath tub. Deep black eyes peered down at him. He blinked.

"Wh-What happened?..."

"Jesus Christ kid! What the hell were you thinking?! You almost died!" Akaya was a little confused. He felt completely dead. How could it be an almost? His burnt back was soothed against the cool tile. Akaya's eyes drifted to the face in front of him. He recognized the black cap as Genichirou-Senpai's. Genichirou-Senpai had saved him.



"Here"

A pair of slippers stopped next to him. Genichirou helped Akaya sit up. Akaya saw Seiichi on his other side holding a glass of water.

"You'll need this. You're overheated."

"It's lucky we came to see how you were holding up by yourself. Clearly, you weren't."

Akaya gulped down the water without paying any attention. Now he was thirsty, burnt, and chilled to the bone. He finished the glass of water in a heartbeat. Seiichi took his chin and tilted his face and peered into Akaya's brilliant green eyes.

"Still cold?"

Akaya blinked up at him. Genichirou didn't appear to like being left in the dark.

"What do you mean cold?! He nearly boiled himself alive!"

"He did that because he wasn't feeling warm."

Seiichi silenced him and glanced down at his little friend.

"You're staying with us until Marui-Chan comes back."

Akaya nodded. Not that he had any choice in the matter. When Seiichi decided on something, it was done. Besides, the company would comfort him a little.

"Ow!"

"Just hold still ya little twerp."

Genichirou was applying, of at least trying to apply ointment onto Akaya's bunt back and neck.

"But it huuuuuuuuuurts!"

Akaya wined loudly. He was silenced by a warning look from Seiichi.

"Akaya-Chan, you do realize that you have nobody to blame but yourself?"

Akaya held as still as possible but gritted his teeth in agony. His back was not what he had been referring to. The way he was positioned greatly aggravated his, half mended ribs. This recovery was becoming too much to deal with.



Akaya lay on his side in the guest bedroom. In his hand, he clutched a framed picture. He gazed at it and his lip began to tremble. It was a photo of himself and Marui. It had been taken when Marui had been on the feeding tube in the hospital. They had barely left each others' side during that time. The each had an arm around the others' shoulder. Both of them were making peace signs. Marui had one eye closed and was sticking his tongue out at whoever had taken the picture (Jackal cough cough Jackal). Akaya hugged it to his chest. When Marui had been starving, he had felt the cold, even when they were touching. This was because he had been fading away. When Marui was released, Akaya had figured he would never have to deal with that horrible sensation again. He couldn't have been more wrong. Now that Marui was far away, it had instantly returned. Akaya couldn't hold the photo steady, he was shaking too much. This was why he'd burned himself. He just wanted to warm up.

'Runt...'

Akaya's eyes snapped open.

"Who-who said that?!"

He received no reply. Akaya shuddered and hid under the covers. It did not quell his fear, nor did it stop the bone chilling cold.

The next morning wasn't exactly peaceful.

"I'm making breakfast!"

"Nonsense! Sit down Yukimura-Buchou! I'm making breakfast!"

Akaya had crashed at their apartment enough times to know how their mornings went. They were either loud because Genichirou was being a worried mommy or because Seiichi was PMSing. Sometimes they were quiet because Seiichi didn't feel well, this happened often.

Today was one of the louder ones.

"We don't h. any food!"

Akaya cowered in his room. He was wearing a "Barrowed" set of Genichirou's clothes. Barrowed meant Seiichi gave the clothes to Akaya and would inform Genichirou whenever he felt like it. Akaya rolled his eyes as Genichirou insisted Seiichi sit down and not help find food. Those two had been acting married since junior high.

"Found something!"

Akaya slunk to the kitchen to find Genichirou holding a box of barely touched oat meal. Akaya hated oat meal, but he ate it anyway. He hadn't really eaten anything since breakfast yesterday.

"Are you sure you're feeling alright Yukimura-Bushou?"



Seiichi did look a little too pale.

"I told you I'm fine sweet heart. Don't worry about me."

Genichirou insisted that Seiichi go straight back to bed. He decided to do some much needed food shopping, which left Akaya alone with the dishes.

Akaya scrubbed at a knife left over from last night's dinner. Doing dishes didn't take much mind power so his thoughts strayed. Akaya felt as if he had swallowed ice as he thought of Marui. He prayed that the chill would stop. It had grown steadily worse ever since Marui had left. He missed his boyfriend. Without him, there was no cure for the cold.

"Pathetic..."

Akaya shuddered.

"Who said that?!"

A resounding high pitched cackle made him whirl around. That defiantly wasn't Seiichi. The laughter grew louder and Akaya backed up until he hit the sink. He slid down it to the floor. He shut his eyes and shook his curly head. He willed it to stop.

"I said pathetic."

From behind Akaya's closed eye lids, a face apeared. It was him, yet it wasn't. It wore the mask of a daemon. His eyes were bright red and blood shot.

"It's pathetic how helpless you are..." Akaya shook his head even harder. There was no mistaking it. This daemon inside of him was the one speaking.

"You've been beaten at last Kirihara, Akaya... You've been crushed... You are the one worth crushing..."

Akaya slid to the cold tile floor.

"Please..."

Tears sprang from the corner of his eyes.

"Leave me alone..."

The monster inside of him began to laugh again. It was even louder this time.

"Fool!"

Akaya lay, shaking and dripping in sweat. He had no clue how he had gotten there. Akaya a pushed on his trembling arms in an attempt to get up, but a bursting pain from his left arm sent him 

crashing back to the tile floor. Akaya looked down. His left forearm was completely covered in a red sticky mess of his own blood. A knife, the one he had been washing, was clutched, dripping, in Akaya's right hand. It glowed red. Tears fell from his bright green eyes, mixing with the blood seeping from his opened wound. Akaya blinked and fought to remain conscious. The redness of the blood stretched in front of his eyes. Laughter rang in his ears as he collapsed in a pool of his own blood.

"Akaya, wake up! Please wake up!" Akaya's vision was fuzzy, but a cloud of blue and black swam into view.

"Yu-ki-mu-ra B-buchou?..."

"Thank God! He'd alive! Genichirou, he's alive!"

"What?..."

"Hush!"

Seiichi laid a hand on his forehead.

"You need to take it easy. You were losing too much blood and I'm pretty sure your heart is still beating irregularly. Genichirou had to bring you back."

Akaya felt Seiichi's long fingers checking his vitals.

"I'm pretty sure you're going to be fine now."

Red hot pain shot through Akaya's arm making him cry out softly.

"I'm just cleaning and bandaging your arm. It will sting a little. Just relax."

Akaya was fatigued out of his mind. Yet he was too afraid to go to sleep. Akaya squeaked with discomfort as the bandages were applied. He could no longer stand it. Sleep crashed over him like a wave as soon as he shut his eyes.

"Why?"

Akaya couldn't look at either of the older boys in the eyes.

"Why did you hurt yourself like that?"

Akaya clenched his fists. It wasn't fair! He would never slice himself up.

"I didn't!"

His voice broke. An image of the demonic being shot through is mind and he shuddered involuntarily.



"I swear it wasn't me!"

Genichirou refused to believe a word he said. Seiichi seemed almost sad.

"You have to believe me!"

Tears sprang from the corners of Akaya's eyes.

"I was doing the dishes and then I was on the floor! I don't want pain! I hate it! You don't even know what it was like! It was more pain than any one person should feel ever!"

Akaya was sobbing now.

"I was raped! I was raped twice and beaten too!"

Akaya's voice had risen in volume without him realizing it.

"He broke my ribs and tried to kill me! If you think anyone whose gone through that would like pain, you're out of your fucking minds!"

Akaya broke down entirely. Hot tear ran down his cheeks. He could no longer speak. Seiichi's thin but muscular arms wrapped around his shoulders. Akaya allowed the embrace as he cried.

"I m-miss Marui-Senpai s-so m-much!"

Akaya sat at the small kitchen table. He was dizzy, but perfectly alive. He winced as he removed the bandages from his left forearm. Before, the wound had been covered in blood so he couldn't tell what it looked like. Now he saw that it in an odd shape. The cut was a circle with two flames inside of it. One was engulfing the other. Two triangles stuck out of the top and bottom of the circle. Akaya stared, wide eyed. He knew that shape from somewhere, but he couldn't recall where. Seiichi peered over his shoulder at it. They had all decided that it wasn't safe for Akaya to be in a room by himself.

"I was hoping you could tell me about that Akaya-Chan."

Akaya continued to blink down at the symbol carved into his flesh. Why couldn't he remember?

'Weak...'

Akaya jumped and looked up at Seiichi.

"Was that you?"

Seiichi narrowed his violet eyes.

"Was what me?"

'Too weak to remember anything...'



Akaya's green eyes grew wide as he stared into the red eyes of the masked beast before him. Someone's hand grabbed a hold of his arm. Its nails dug into the fresh cuts. Akaya screamed as the laughter grew louder.

"The weaker the dog, the louder it barks. In this case, that certainly applies."

Akaya felt warm liquid run down his arm. It filled his nails. To his horror he found that the nails in his arm were his own. Akaya felt himself fall and hit cold ground. He struggled to stay awake. Somebody was behind him, trying to pull his arms behind his back. So far they were having no luck. Tears sprang from Akaya's eyes as his nails scraped down his mangled arm. He blinked, trying to remain conscious. It did him no good. His green eyes rolled back into his head and he fell into nothing.

A hand came down and pinned him to the bed by his neck. Through his misty vision, Akaya could see a vivid black tatoo on the man's forearm. It was a circle with two flames and one triangle on top and one on the bottom. A crippling pain in Akaya's entrance made his numb arm shoot up. He dug his nails into the flame, but his arm was losing feeling quickly. It was dragged down by gravity. He tattooed skin tore beneath his finger nails and they filled with the man's blood. The pain shot through Akaya's entire body like a knife. High pitched laughter resounded in his head.

'I have absolutely no sympathy for you'

'Get out...'

The man dug his hips in and he howled.

'I said get out!"

Akaya's wild green eyes shot open. He was sitting on the on the cold tile with his head bowed. Seiichi's face was inches away from his own. Akaya tried to move, but his bloodied arms were pinned securely against his burned back. By now, he thought that the icy sensation shouldn't be a surprise. Still, he couldn't help but shiver.

"L-let go..."

The image of a single, tattooed forearm seemed to be burned into his brain.

"Can't do that kid. You were hurting yourself."Genichirou's voice sounded behind him. Akaya was barely listening. He shut his eyes. His teeth began to chatter. It felt like the time in junior high when he and Marui had raided the cafeteria. They had gone into the freezer, which was huge. Marui had thought he had gone out before him and had shut him inside. Akaya had thought he would freeze to death. But Marui had pulled his limp body out. He had taken away the cold. Only this time, there was no Marui. Akaya couldn't help but give a little moan. A hand pressed against his forehead.



"Mm, Genichirou-Kun, He's freezing."

Marui landed with a thump on the hardwood floor. He grumbled and pushed himself up. He had fallen from the couch in his parents' house. Marui had arrived the night before. His connecting flight had been delayed and he had been forced to spend the night in a strange town. Marui untangled himself from the blankets and stood up. He was hungry. Marui pushed his magenta hair and made his way to the kitchen. Marui was always hungry, but was such a picky eater, that he almost never ate what was available.

"Maaaaaa!"

His irritation was obvious.

"This is all health food!"

He had had crispy kreams the night before so he hadn't seen what was available.

"Maaa!"

"I heard you, I heard you! Your father and I are on a diet!"

"Argh!"

Marui slammed his head against the refriidgerator several times. This was just like the hospital. No food for him. And here his mother had been complaining about how thin he was. What did she expect? No food, no eating. It was as simple as that. She entered the kitchen, rolling her eyes. She was a short woman. Her hair was going grey, but her true hair color, magenta, showed at the roots. She squinted at her son.

"You are way too skinny! You're like a twig!"

"Well I don't like hospital food..."

He mumbled. His mother began raving. What do you mean hospital?! You were in a hospital? When did this happen?! Why didn't you call us?!"

Marui left the kitchen to go get some green apple bubblegum.

"I'm talking to you! Why were you in the hospital?!"

Marui really hadn't wanted to bring up the whole date rape drug thing with his mother. She was a total spaz.

"I just drank tea after putting it down and I didn't exactly keep watch on it. Akaya-Chan was there though."



Marui smirked at the thought of his curly headed boyfriend. An image of Akaya making puppy eyes flashed in his mind and he gave a little chuckle.

"The whole team was there. Don't worry Ma. Nothing happened."

Marui blew a green bubble. His cell phone rang and it popped on his face.

"Moshi moshi. Genius speaking."

"Marui-Senpai!"

"Akaya-Chan?!"

Marui shuddered. His boyfriend's voice sounded horrible. It kept cracking and it was scratchy. An image of Akaya lying bleeding somewhere forced its way into Marui's mind and he panicked.

"Akaya-chan, you don't sound good! Where are you?! Are you Okay?! Are you hurt?! Are you ill?!"

"I'm okay. I just, just miss you that's all..."

"Your sick aren't you?! I know! I'm a genius!"

Akaya laughed but it soon turned into a cough.

"I'll be okay. I'm just cold... It's nice to hear your voice..."

It never occurred to Marui that Akaya had called simply to hear him.

"Jesus Christ! If I'd known you wouldn't be okay unless I had you on a leash, I would have put you in a collar and taken you with me."

"I like it when you talk like that baby..."

"Akaya-Chan..."

Akaya coughed.

"Yeah?"

"You need to take care of yourself. If I come home to find you in the emergency room or something-"

"Marui-Senpai..."

"What?! What is it?!"

"I love you."

Marui smiled a little embarrassedly.

"Yeah, I love you too Akaya-Chan..."



His usually savvier features softened as he voiced how he felt. He spotted his mother giggling.

"I'll call you tomorrow okay?! Take care of yourself!"

"Yeah, I will. I'm going right to sleep after this."

"Bye."

"Bye."

No sooner had Marui pressed the end button did his mother start talking.

"That was your girlfriend wasn't it?! I want to know everything about her!"

Marui only answered her questions vaguely. He didn't relish the thought of his parents finding out he was dating one of the boys from the old Rikai tennis team.

It was the fifth day of Marui's stay with his parents. He would be leaving for home the next day. His father's leg seemed to be doing better. Marui had been secretly calling Akaya at the bakery across the way from his parents' place. Akaya didn't appear to be getting any better. He was on the verge of losing his voice and, even though he wouldn't admit it, Marui could tell he was in allot of pain. Occasionally, Akaya's teeth would chatter. Whenever Marui inquired, Akaya would always soften him up with an 'it's nothing' fallowed be an 'I love you'.

Unfortunaly, Marui's plan of secrecy was foiled when Akaya called his phone while he was still in the house.

"Moshi moshi. Genius here... Oh hey baby!"

The phone was aggressively yanked out of his hands.

"Hello there! This is Marui's mother! I assume you're his sweetheart! I don't believe we've been introduced. Akaya went into a fit of coughing before he answered.

"Yeah... I am... But we have been introduced... You used to go to his tennis matches and you called the apartment before. I-"

Akaya coughed again.

"I answered remember?"

There was nothing Marui could do to stop this little interaction from happening. His mother's eyes strayed to his face.



"He'll call you back."

Marui winced when she hung up on Akaya. Akaya had enough to be worried about without being hung up on.

"That's your girlfriend isn't... He..."

That sentence didn't sit right in Akaya's ears.

"Ma, just listen."

She waved a hand at him.

"It's fine. I've known for years... I'm just worried about how your father will handle it."

Marui rolled his luggage out of the claim area to the place where the team was waiting to greet him. Before Marui knew it, Akaya was on top of him with both arms and legs wrapped around his body. Akaya kissed him in a way that they had never kissed before. It was one of those full on, open mouth, closed eye kinds you only see in yaoi boujinshi. Akaya pulled away and rested his forehead on top of Marui's. His watery green orbs made Marui want to throw him down and have his way with him right there.

"I missed you..."

Marui wrapped his arms around Akaya's middle.

"I missed you too."

Marui set Akaya down on his feet. Akaya was not to be shaken off so easily. He hugged Marui's and nuzzled his chest. Marui blushed and pretended to be interested in the ceiling. They were rudely interrupted by a loud giggle from Seiichi. They looked up to see several wide eyed onlookers. The team took Renji's and Genichirou's cars back home. Genichirou dropped Akaya and Marui off at the Caramel Apple on his and Seiichi's way home. There had been several complaints from customers. Akaya had not been the only one to Miss Marui. As Marui helped Akaya out of the car, he grabbed Akaya's left forearm. He was not aware of the state it was in. Akaya yelped and stumbled out of the car. When Akaya refused to shoe Marui what was bothering him, Marui grabbed his wrist and pulled the sleeve back. From the elbow down, Akaya's arm was encased in bandaging.

"What happened to your arm Akaya?!"

"Nothing. It doesn't matter..."

Akaya couldn't look at him in the eye.

"Akaya!"



"I was washing the dishes at Genichirou and Yukimura-Buchou's place and my hand slipped while I was washing a knife."

Marui forced Akaya to look him in the eyes.

"Are you telling me the truth? Because if you aren't Akaya-"

"I swear!"

The heart stopping cold made Akaya stagger.

"Come on."

Marui helped Akaya up the stairs. He laid Akaya down in the bed and fell asleep as well.