Chapter 4: Find Yourself
"This is home." We stopped in front of a tiny house, the front only having about four windows and a door. It was simple, just one story, yet even with the mustard yellow paint peeling away, someone had tried to make it beautiful with richly colored flowers in the window boxes. But, I didn't know what to say. "Don't say anything." Thresh smiled at me. "It's no palace, but it's home all the same." I smiled back as we walked forward again.
Thresh opened the front door of his home with his left hand, the one that wasn't clasping mine. He closed it softly behind us, pulling the straw hat off my head and hanging it on the wall. I slipped off the coat and straightened my dress and Thresh tucked some hairs behind my ear. "Are you sure you want to be here?" I nodded, not really sure myself. "Grams! We are back!"
Suddenly, I heard a shuffling of pots from around the corner and two pairs of feet coming towards us. An old woman appeared first, with gray hair but the same look of ferocity and strength in her eyes as Thresh. His older sister was the same, probably about nineteen or twenty and heavy with muscle. I felt puny and weak simply watching her, like the Career tributes. Trina just watched me, her eyes tracing my body before locking on my hand still clutched in Thresh's. I hadn't even realized he grabbed it again after taking off the coat.
"Welcome, Miss. Snow. We are so honored to have you in our house and…" She reached out her hand and I gave her my right so as not to have to let go of Thresh.
"Nip it, Grams. She wanted to come, and you're going to make her want to leave." He laughed lightly pushing the two women back around the corner. "Now, I didn't get to eat at the Justice building so I, for one, am hungry."
He pulled me by the hand, and I almost gasped as I glimpsed the table. It was a small circle, yet covered completely with steaming dishes and colorful fruits. "I like having our reaping day feast in the morning. That way I can make sure each of my grandchildren gets some of it." In case they are the ones who don't come home tonight. I could hear the words plainly, though no one spoke them.
For the first time, I looked at Thresh like he might be the next boy I watched die. I glanced at the bread on the table, seeing not the usual District 11 loaves, but instead hard tressarae grain. How many had he taken?
"Grams, you've made her face go pale!" I snapped form my trance, noticing the whole family staring at me and I mumbled apologies.
"Don't worry about it. It's nice to know some in the Capitol would get pale at the idea. The reaping is a risk for all of us, and there is no shame in understanding that." Thresh and his grandmother stood silently, gaping at the girl for her freedom of speech in my presence. I could only smile lightly. "Have a seat, Miss. Snow."
"Please, just call me December."
Trina snickered gleefully, settling herself into a chair beside mine. "I think you and I might get along after all."
"I knew we should have just packed a basket for food." He sighed, taking his own seat on my right. "You probably aren't even hungry, after breakfast at the Justice building." His eyes were almost pleading for me to agree.
"No. As I recall, you pulled me away once I was given permission to leave." Thresh rolled his eyes, filling his own plate as his grandmother piled food onto mine, naming each of the dishes so quickly I would never remember them.
"So, what does that star of the capitol like to do in her spare time? You must have a ton of it of course, with no need to work." Trina didn't even look at me as she spoke.
"I play music, on the fiddle. I would love to learn piano, but with all the dinners my father drags me too and trips to visit the Districts I rarely have the time." I gave her a quick smile, before biting into an apple.
"My grandfather used to play the fiddle. He was pretty horrible actually, but he loved it all the same." I could barely say anything before there was a loud knock at the front door.
"Trina!" A deep voice sounded from the hall, and Thresh pushed his sister from the kitchen.
"Keep him out of here!" He turned back to me, motioning to stay quiet as voices sounded from the hall.
"You know I always have breakfast with the family on Reaping day."
"We are eighteen this year, I needed to make sure you still agreed to your promise."
Trina laughed once, pushing the boy to the opposite side of the house. "I told you last night, that if neither of us are reaped we can get married tonight." At that point, Thresh's grandmother practically sprinted from the kitchen.
"I think it's time we go." He grabbed a sack from the ground, shoving some fruit and bread into it. "Things are about to get ugly around here." He disappeared around the corner and returning with the hat and the coat. I opened my mouth to speak; yet he quickly lay a finger across it. In annoyance, I rolled my eyes and pulled on the clothes.
We slipped silently through the front door, walking away from the other homes and towards the endless expanse of fields surrounding the District. Thresh was the first to speak again.
"I'm sorry I rushed you out of there. Grams and Trina will kill me, especially Trina because she liked you." I laughed at that, remembering her curt comments. "She's pretty silent around anyone she doesn't like. If she talks to you it means she likes you enough to listen."
"Who was the boy that came?" I looked at him curiously, as he took my hand again and I noticed that the sack was larger since he left the kitchen.
"Trina's boyfriend. They've wanted to marry since they were fourteen but dad made Trina promise she would wait until she was twenty. When he died, she vowed to marry him the second they both got through the games alive. Today's there last reaping and Grams has been trying to stop her for months but she won't listen. Grams believes she is dishonoring dad's memory and…. I shouldn't be boring you with all of this." He pulled me in closer, as I thought in silence, and tucked hair back behind my ear. This finally proved what I suspected, that his parents had died and he was alone with the two women.
"They died during a round of fevers that effected the whole District when I was 14, two years ago. We lost my Grandfather then too, most of the families around us buried loved ones." I nodded, slight tears forming in my eyes as I thought of Thresh and all the others almost alone now.
"I'm sorry." They were all the words I could muster; I never knew how to comfort someone.
"Don't be. You could do a lot for the Districts, maybe not now but in the future. No matter what power you get though, you can't stop a spreading fever." He was pulling me in under his arm again. It wasn't the moment to mention modern medicine. We sat on a small hill overlooking a large orchard.
"It's beautiful." The sky was bright blue, clouds drifting along carelessly. In the soft wind, the leaves of the orchard trees swayed creating a silent calm.
"You should come out here at sunset. Everything is still and one can find themselves easily." He was staring out at the horizon, the softest expression upon his face.
"Is that why you are caught out late so often? You come out here?" He nodded, not saying anything else and he dug through the sack for an apple. "What else did you put in there? We didn't need a full sack of apples!" I didn't bother to say there wasn't even that much food at the breakfast table.
He pulled out the bundle of cloth slowly, making sure it didn't bang anything else. After removing the bundle, he followed it with a long bow that I recognized instantly. "You brought a fiddle?"
"When you said you played, and then I saw it as I was grabbing things, I had a sudden desire to hear you play. Grandpa loved this thing, but no one has touched it since he died. It's probably horribly out of tune…" Thresh just stared at the fiddle wistfully, begging me to play it for him. I wasn't a performer, my music was for myself, but he looked so desperate.
I touched it softly, feeling the weak wood and thin strings. It wasn't anything nice, but I could feel the love placed upon it when the owner played. He handed me the bow, and I tuned it quickly, suddenly wanting nothing more then to play the instrument. My hands moved on their own accord and Thresh closed his eyes to listen to the music.
"I wonder what he would say about this?" That forced me to stop, but I remained silent as I waited for him to continue. "My grandfather was the first I knew to say you were different. He told me every time the cameras turned on you exactly what I said last night. He would probably love this right now."
"You were close to him, weren't you?" Thresh nodded, again looking out towards the fields. I imagined mornings like this one, where he sat out here with his grandfather to learn everything he had. I hadn't even noticed his eyes focus back on me.
"That gem really is beautiful, especially the way the light hits it at moments. We should get going, the reaping is in forty five minutes and I need to stop at home to change after I get you back." Already, I was used to his sudden changes in thought and the way he avoiding certain topics.
Thresh wrapped the fiddle back up carefully, slipping it into the sack once more. He stood, and then offered me his hand. I grabbed it, yet he pulled me up before I was ready and when he let go, I was falling forward.
When he caught me, our faces were inches apart and then his lips were on mine. Neither of us pulled away, enjoying the embrace. It was my first kiss, the one out in a District 11 field. He was gentle, a hand caressing my face. Then the contact was gone.
"I shouldn't have done that." Without another glance, he slung the sack over his shoulder and raced off. I didn't know what to do but run after him.
"Thresh!" Thoughts raced through me, all different versions of the desire I had to make him stop running. "Thresh! I'm not mad!"
Then he stopped, still yards ahead of me and turned around. "Why not? You should be. I'm nothing to you, just a District Boy who forced you to kiss me. I'm below you in everyway." He dropped the sack, no more caring about the fiddle, as he swept a low bow.
"Stop it!" I was running forward again, and he remained still. "You are not below me, Thresh. You are worth something." I didn't know what he was worth exactly, but it was something. Then I noticed how far we had run, as people swept passed on our their way to the steps of the Justice Building. I could see the roof of it around the corner.
He turned around slowly, walking a few steps in front of me before pulling me into a doorway. "Are you being honest? Do you truly not care?" I nodded, the ferocity in his voice frightening. "Will I ever see you again? I need to see you again."
"There's always a camera on me, isn't there? You've seen me before." I cracked a slight smile, glancing at the clock on the building opposite of us. Fifteen minutes until the reaping.
"No, that's not all of you. I need to know I can see this part of you, touch your hand again." I could sense the desperation in his voice and realized on the inside I matched it.
"The victory tour. I usually stay come but stay on the train. I'll get off and I you will find me. You seem to be good at that." He stepped out of the doorway, taking my hand and kissing it once.
"Then, let the 73rd Hunger Games begin." He had no emotion in his voice as he dropped my hand to walk away before a smile crept on to his face. "And let them go quickly to the Victory Tour."
I could only nod as he walked away, before dashing into the Justice Building.
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