Peridot's eyes went wide with fear, her hand clasping over her bleeding wrist as she stared at the girl in the doorway. The blonde even dropped her razor, the metal making a dull clank against the bathroom tile. Amethyst was absolutely livid.

"Seriously Peri, what the fuck?"

"Don't tell Lapis!" Peridot's desperate plea only made the shorter girl even more angry.

"Why the fuck not?!"

"I-I.." Peridot was trying to find the right words. Amethyst let herself in the bathroom, looking through the clutter that fell from the medicine cabinet. She grabbed some bandages, the kind you would use to wrap around a sprained ankle.

The blonde didn't put up any resistance as Amethyst took Peridot's bloody arm in her hands. As Amethyst cleaned the blood with a rag got from the bathroom sink, most likely the same rag that Peridot first used to clean herself up, she spoke.

"When Lapis sobers up, you're gonna talk to her about this."

"No!" Peridot yelled so loudly that Amethyst actually flinched. The blonde put a hand over her mouth when her temporary medic gave her a dirty look. Peridot talked behind her hand. "S-sorry.. but I can't tell her." Amethyst sighed. Though she was still incredibly angry with the blonde girl, she needed to be supportive. Self harm was a serious subject. She began to wrap the bandages around Peridot's arm.

"You need to. She can help you. We can help you."

"I can't.." Peridot looked away from the smaller girl. "I tried getting help before." Amethyst stayed silent, but Peridot knew that she was listening. "Last night was the first time I did it in a few year."

"So rain can cause depression. Go figure." Still with the jokes.. at least she was being like this, rather than angry.

"It wasn't the rain."

"What, school stress getting to you?"

"No.."

"Trouble with family?"

"No."

"Then what, Peri?" All of this questioning was annoying Peridot. At least the blade was able to work its magic before Amethyst interrupted.

"I can't tell you."

"You need to tell someone."

"No.. I can't tell anyone." Peridot's mind was made up and set in stone. She knew that if she told anyone why she had to hurt herself like this, it would somehow get back to Lapis.

"Oh my god, will you get your head out of your ass?" Amethyst tied the bandages tightly when she finished covering the scars. She placed her hands on her hips, staring eye to eye with Peridot. "You're in college, you get straight A's, and you have friends who would take bullets for you if they could. The least you could do is stop being so damned stubborn and let us help you. This isn't healthy, Peri.."

Peridot knew that it was true. She averted her eyes from the shorter girl, clutching at her bandaged wrist. She could still feel the pain. That helped a little with what she was about to say.

"I don't like to feel." The blonde whispered after a deep breath. Amethyst raised an eyebrow. Peridot continued.

"I'm not depressed, or stressed, or anything like that.. When I was younger, I would always get these panic attacks when everything was just.. too much." She chuckled as she told her story.

"The first time was when I was.. I dunno, twelve? I was home-schooled for a very long time, and when I told my mom I wanted to try public school, she was so happy. She went on and on about how many friends I would make, about the homework I would bring home. Maybe even get my first 'boyfriend'. I can still remember her face when I told her I was a lesbian a few years later. She was supportive, thankfully, but that's not what I'm talking about."

"When I first got to school.. I can't remember the name of it for the life of me, but everyone was so nice to me. No one made fun of me, everyone thought I was cool for being smart. I remember when you asked me if you could touch my hair." Amethyst grinned at this despite herself. Peridot's hair was pretty pointy.

As she talked, Peridot's grip on her arm got tighter and tighter. No fresh blood was being spilled because the cuts were so shallow, but to keep talking about her past like this.. she needed the pain.

"I was so happy.. my first day went so smoothly, and Lapis and I got along so well. We're so different, but it didn't matter to her. She actually wanted me to be her friend." Peridot could feel her panic rising again. She dug her fingernails into her arm, tearing some of the bandages so she could get to her skin.

Amethyst grabbed Peridot's wrist, but the blonde had already made new wounds. They were even more shallow than the blade, but they were still bleeding.

"Seriously, Peri?" Peridot could already feel herself calming down. She ignored Amethyst and continued talking.

"It was only when I got home that everything hit me. I told my mom everything, and when I did, it just.. kept getting harder and harder to breathe. My mom hugged me to try and calm me down, but that just wouldn't work. She left to get my inhaler from my room, and.. that's when I grabbed a kitchen knife. She was so scared for me when she saw the blood."

Peridot remembered her mother's face clearly. A mix between fear for her child and anger, just like the face Amethyst held.

"I told her I was okay. She took the knife from me and checked my arm, patched me up.. and the whole time, I was smiling like it never even happened."

She paused here, looking down to see that Amethyst was just finishing up re-wrapping her arm. The shorter girl used twice the amount of bandages, Peridot noticed.

"That's a pretty weird story." Amethyst commented, taking a seat on the closed toilet seat. "What helped you stop?"

"Lapis." Oddly enough, Peridot didn't have trouble with talking about how she was cured.. well, temporarily.

"I went to a few help groups when I was sixteen, but they didn't do anything for me. I told Lapis what I did afterwards. She didn't try to help me in the conventional means. It was weird, really." Peridot leaned her head back, closing her eyes.

"She asked me to dance with her. Every day, until graduation, we danced together in the park, even during the rain. I completely forgot about cutting myself."

"So just dance with her again." Peridot sighed, gripping her arm gain.

"I can't.. she was so happy when I told her I hadn't touched a blade in those years. I can't tell her I'm doing this again."

That was the end of Peridot's story. Amethyst listened intently the whole time, trying to think of anything that was in the story that may help the blonde. But she couldn't. Well, she could, but Peridot was just too stubborn.

"..did talking about it help at all?" Peridot chuckled, shaking her head.

"No. I still want to hurt myself."

"Figures.." Amethyst stood up, stretching. When she finished, she began to clean up all the stuff that fell from the medicine cabinet. It wasn't hard to guess that this happened when Peridot was looking for her razor.

Speaking of the razor, Peridot eyed the bloody blade on the floor. Amethyst was busy.. she could probably grab it without the shorter girl noticing. It would be quick, but she didn't move. She knew Amethyst wouldn't be stupid enough to forget about it. And she didn't. Once she placed everything back in the medicine cabinet, she turned and picked up the small blade on the floor.

"I'll be taking this." Peridot became scared again.. she was about to say something, but Amethyst interrupted her. "I won't tell Lapis. But I will tell Pearl. We're going to help you." The blonde calmed down a bit, but she was still skeptical.. there was probably a catch. "You have a month to get better before we go to Lapis." There it was.

Peridot was about to protest, but the stern glare from the shorter girl forced her to hold her tongue. When Amethyst wanted to, she could be pretty persuasive. Well, Peridot did drink with her and Lapis earlier that day..

The blonde reluctantly nodded. Maybe this could work. She hoped so, at least. Lapis didn't need to know.

"Good. We start tomorrow, after classes."

"Tomorrow's Saturday.."

"...then we start first thing in the morning." Peridot actually chuckled. Amethyst smiled, turning to leave before she stopped herself. The shorter girl made her way to the mini fridge, pulling out a few bottles of water. Peridot exited the bathroom, sitting on her bed as Amethyst collected the drinks.

"I almost forgot that Lapis asked for this stuff.. All I have is beer, coke, and green tea."

"You drink green tea?"

Amethyst scoffed, closing the fridge door. "Pearl drinks green tea. The coke's all mine. When Lapis sobers up, I'll send her back in here." Amethyst smiled kindly at Peridot. "You just.. get some rest or something. Okay?"

"Yeah. Thanks for, you know.. wanting to help."

"And not telling Lapis?"

Peridot grinned. "Yeah, that too."

Amethyst left the room, and Peridot rolled down her sleeve so that it would cover her bandages. She didn't really feel like resting. Instead, she sat at her desk at the foot of her bed, opening her advanced mathematics book. Maybe doing some early equations would help her keep her mind off of things.

As time went by, Peridot worked on problem after problem. She almost found these too easy. She would have to go to the school bookstore and request a higher level book. She didn't even realize that the moon had already risen high in the sky. The only thing to bring her from her work was Lapis' voice.

"Doing some more work?" The blonde nearly jumped from her seat. She turned in her swivel chair to face the blue haired girl, who had her hands behind her back.

"Y-yeah.. How are you feeling?"

"Oh I'm feeling much better." Lapis plopped herself down on Peridot's bed, looking at her upside down. "Sorry about getting all frantic on you. You know, about that secret of mine and all."

"It's no trouble." Peridot brushed Lapis' apology away, returning to her work. "Everyone has secrets. Even I have secrets, you know."

"Yeah, I figured. As long as you're not hurting yourself again, I don't care what you're hiding."

"Yeah.." Lapis hit the nail right on the head. It was almost ironic. Peridot wanted to keep this from Lapis, but it was the very first thing that popped into the blue haired girl's mind. This might be harder than she thought.

"Even if you did, though.. you know, start that up again, we'd just dance together like before." Lapis' smile was sincere. Peridot couldn't' help but feel that her crush was telling the truth. No matter how many times the blonde went back to her old habits, Lapis would be there for her. It made it hard to keep her secret to herself.

"Yeah.. you ever think it's weird how dancing with you helped me in the first place?"

Lapis sat up, shrugging her shoulders.

"Honestly, I thought you had a crush on me back then." God dammit Lapis. "But it was probably just cuz we were best friends. You know, do everything and anything for each other. I thought you were straight the whole time, after all."

"Y-yeah.." Peridot was starting to feel again. She couldn't let this get to her, not in front of Lapis. She took deep breaths, trying to keep silent. She focused her eyes to the words and numbers in her book. These equations helped a little.

"I totally would have dated you too." God dammit Lapis!

"Where's this coming from all of a sudden?"

Lapis giggled, bringing her knees up to her chest. "I dunno.. guess being drunk just brought this out of me."

"You're sober now though."

"You know what I mean, Peri." Yeah, Peridot knew what she meant. She was just trying to stray from the subject.

"Did Pearl get any better?"

Lapis nodded. "Yeah.. one hell of a hangover though, to last all day. I don't think she's ever gonna drink again."

"I should hope not. They're cute together, but Amethyst can be a bad influence." Peridot sighed. She couldn't focus on her equations anymore. Closing the book, she turned to look at Lapis, resting her head in her hand and her elbow on her desk.

"Amethyst isn't as bad as she seems." Lapis defended her friend. "She's a good person, and knows how to do things in moderation." Peridot had to agree with Lapis on that one. Damn the shorter girl for being so considerate. Lapis stood from the bed, stretching.

"I think I'm gonna go to bed. You gonna stay up some more?"

Peridot shook her head. "No.. I need to stop staying up late." Lapis smiled, reaching behind her neck to undo the ribbon that held the top portion of her dress in place. Peridot had always thought that the dress was just one big outfit, but the top and bottom were actually separate. The top was actually just a backless and sleeveless top, and came off easily.

Peridot turned away quickly, a deep blush on her face. Lapis wasn't wearing a bra. The blue haired girl unfastened her skirt, letting it fall to the floor before collecting both garments. She hung the top in the closet, then slung the skirt across the bottom of the hanger. She collected her blue tee shirt, draping it over her body. She turned back to go to her bed and saw how Peridot was avoiding looking at her. Lapis giggled.

"You can look, Peri."

Peridot hesitantly looked up, but was relieved to see that Lapis was covered. Though, seeing those blue panties of hers still brought a blush to Peridot's face. "Do you normally sleep half naked?"

Lapis laughed again, sitting herself on her bed. "I sleep completely naked, actually. Didn't think you'd approve of that, though."

"You thought right." Peridot wouldn't be able to keep her nose from bleeding if her crush slept naked just a few feet from her.

The blonde sighed, standing up to turn off the light.

"Goodnight Lapis.."

"G'night Peri."

And with those last words, the room was blackened.