Disclaimer: same as previous page

AN: First, thanks a lot for everyone out there who still read my fics. I'm not always active on ffnet, but I dont actually want to stop writing fics yet. So thanks you guys for the support! Anyhooo... This one is focusing mainly on Kenshin's inner thought. It's super short, but seriously, why would I try and stretch it when it's supposed to end short? I think I will already bore you to death with these three pages of MS Word anyway. As you can see from my fics I am an avid fan of KK (29 fics and all but one of the romantic pairings are KK), but actually I love love love Tomoe as well, and I think she is such a character. I am not too keen on writing KT fic (though I might, one day) but sometimes I feel the urge to write something with Tomoe in it, staying true to her character. Also, I try to approach Kenshin's feelings in a more human way, maybe not really staying true to his purity. Feel free to bash me about it. Lastly, don't forget to review (anything is fine) and enjoy!

XXX

Selfish

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Are you happy?

He opened his eyes, and found her, smiling at him. A smile that he rarely saw.

He smiled at her warmly.

An old love that deserved to be remembered. A sheath that he depended upon.

The memories were flowing in. Sometimes, on nights like these, the ghost from the past came knocking in and whispered him a silent greeting.

And he would whisper back. He had missed her sometimes. She was the only beautiful memory he had of his past, even though she also had become his worst recollection.

His whole heart had completely belonged to someone else, but there was nothing wrong was being nostalgic, was there?

"You smile more than before."

Her smile became wider. "I'm at peace now, anata." She whispered.

He closed his eyes. "I'm glad."

He once said his goodbye to her, but no one could completely erase one's past. Not even him. Sometimes she would come, creeping in his dreams, in the back of his mind, reminding him that she was there before. Everytime, he would greet her with open arms like an old friend.

She turned her head softly to the new hakama hung near the door. He chuckled as he followed her gaze.

"You didn't get the chance to wear a beautiful uchikake." He commented softly.

"But I was happy."

"Were you?"

"Even when I thought I couldn't be happy anymore, you brought joy back to my life." She whispered.

He smiled softly.

"And you?" She asked.

"I am happy. I was happy, with you, and I am happy again now." He replied.

The two looked at each other in the familiar warmth they once shared before. This time, though, he didn't feel the immortality he had hoped when he was younger. She came back to leave him again. He was fine with it; he had stopped living in the middle of two worlds. For the first time in his life, he lived. He truly lived.

"Goodbye, anata." She said with a smile.

He reached out his hand, trying to feel hers one last time, but stopped halfway.

Instead, he smiled back. "Goodbye, Tomoe." He whispered.

OOOOO

"I dreamed of my father last night." Kaoru mumbled. Kenshin looked at her painted face and smiled.

"Aa. It's natural that he would come to see his daughter before she gets married, no?" He replied, and Kaoru frowned.

"You believe in those kinds of things, Kenshin?" She asked, a little surprised.

"Kenshin shrugged. "Well, I never really think about it. Who knows what happens beyond death."

She looked at him, and smiled. "Ah, she must've visited last night."

Kenshin sighed and looked back at his smaller bride. "She congratulated us…" he mumbled.

"Hee…" Kaoru nodded, but then smiled happily as she clasped her hands together. "She's worried about your happiness." She added, while looking at the sky. Kenshin chuckled.

"How do you know?" He asked, and Kaoru's smile grew bigger.

Of course she knew. She was in love with the same guy that Tomoe fell in love with.

"Ne, Kenshin?"

"Hmm?"

"Are you happy?"

Kenshin looked at her again. The feeling of selfishness inside him grew. He wanted to be happy. He wanted a family he never really had. He wanted kids, running around the house. He wanted peaceful Sunday afternoons. He wanted to laugh over Kaoru and Yahiko's constant argument. He wanted to be able to rest his head on her lap without worrying about anything. Without thinking about anything. He wanted things for himself.

He still questioned himself, and even berated himself for having such selfish thoughts. No, he was, and will never be worthy enough for such luxury, but he couldn't help it. He was a human. He was just a man. He wanted a small part of life to be his, and his only.

And he prayed, and he wished. This time, please don't take this paradise away from him. This time, he would fight to protect the happiness he had built.

For Kaoru. For their future family. For their friends. For himself.

He inhaled. "I am happy, Kaoru-dono." He finally said. Kaoru chuckled and punched him softly on his arm.

"Atta boy." She said with a grin.

Before he could say anything, Megumi and Misao barged into the living room, where they were waiting for the priest.

"Guys, the priest and the guests are in the doujo already. Come, Kaoru-chan. I will help you with your heavy kimono." Megumi said. The two looked at each other, inhaled and smiled knowingly before getting up.

He dusted himself and fixed his haori. As he looked at Megumi and Misao helped Kaoru with her heavy, white kimono, he repeated his prayer.

I have sworn to give my life to others. But this time, just for this small part, please let me live for myself.

Let this be my one last act of selfishness.