Ianto Jones' hands were shaking as he tried to operate the complicated levers of the coffee machine that he had insisted on using time travel to rescue. He pulled a stack of coffee cups out of a cupboard and they arrived safely onto the countertop despite the loud clattering caused by his trembling hands. Ianto clenched his fingernails into his fists as he watched the elaborate machine operate. The whirring of the multiple gaskets and the smell of freshly brewed coffee calmed him considerably. His rapid breathing slowed and he slowly let his fists unclench.
Ianto Jones was a fan of routines and he found the monotonous task of making coffee relaxing. He began pouring his secret brew into the four awaiting cups. He heard a noise from behind him and he spoke aloud, "You're staring Jack."
"I like watching you work," Jack said as he entered the room entirely.
Ianto set the coffee pot down with enough force to show his frustration but not enough to endanger the integrity of the glass. He turned to and asked: "What are you doing here Jack?"
"Looking for you," Jack replied stepping closer: his eyes dark with desire.
"Not here in this room. Here in general. "
"Looking for you," Jack said again with a smile as he stepped even closer so his body was inches away from Ianto.
Ianto turned away flustered, two spots of colour appearing high in his cheeks, and muttered to himself: "Looking for me inside John's trousers no doubt."
Jack chuckled warmly and pressed his body up against Ianto and rested his chin on Ianto's shoulder. He placed his mouth close to Ianto's ear and whispered, "He was helping me find you."
"John was helping someone other than himself?" Ianto asked incredulously, an eyebrow rising in disbelief of its own accord.
"He found it in his best interest to help me find a way to bring you back," Jack murmured against Ianto's cheek as he began to place soft kisses down Ianto's jaw line. Ianto leaned into his kisses but when Jack reached his mouth Ianto pulled away abruptly.
"I was bloody dying you tosser!" Ianto shouted heatedly. He took a deep breath to relax and said quietly but tersely "I've seen the way you look at her Jack. I know you don't love me the way you love her, but I was dying and you couldn't even let me pretend just for a minute that maybe you did."
Jack shook his head sadly, "Monogamy has never been an easy concept for me Ianto, but you have to believe me when I tell you that I love you. Part of me loved Gwen yes, but I chose you. I want you. I love you Ianto Jones."
"Then why didn't you tell me that?" Ianto asked as he angrily wiped away tears, "You said 'don't' Jack. Bloody fuck Jack! Why?"
Jack had tears of his own sliding slowly down his cheeks and leaving behind salty tracks. He reached towards Ianto's shoulder to comfort him but Ianto pulled away with a sob. Jack tried to explain: "I couldn't accept that you were dying Ianto. If I told you that I loved you it would have been giving up. It would have given me a sense of closure that I didn't deserve. I had to keep fighting for you. I had to bring you back to me."
"You selfish bastard," Ianto cried softly.
Jack pulled the protesting Welshman towards him and grasped his face between his large hands. He slowly began kissing away Ianto's tears murmuring softly, "I love you Ianto Jones and I will tell you so over and over again until the end of the world. We can have forever together and I want to spend every second of it with you."
Ianto collapsed against him and buried his head in the crook of Jack's neck. Jack held him tightly against his warm chest and breathed in the smell that had faded from the tie he slept with every night. He chuckled slightly against Ianto's head: "You got new shampoo."
Ianto returned Jack's tight embrace and laughed breathlessly against him: "Yeah, they don't exactly sell Herbal Essence on alien planets."
"I knew you used woman's shampoo." Jack teased and held Ianto tighter, "I've missed you so much Ianto."
"Jack I can't breathe." Ianto protested: his voice muffled against the collar of Jack's coat.
His objections only caused Jack to squeeze him even closer. They stayed in that position, holding each other as if life depended on them touching as much of each other as possible, until a loud beep signaled that the coffee had gotten cold and was reheating automatically. Now it was Jack's turn to protest as Ianto pulled away, "The coffee can wait Ianto."
Ianto grinned ruefully at Jack as he poured some steaming Peruvian blend into the awaiting cups, "The Doctor's gotten addicted. Trust me: you don't want to see him when he's caffeine deprived."
Jack breathed in the delicious smell of coffee brewed by Ianto, "I think you put special drugs into it so that we all become dependent on you."
A wink was Ianto's only reply as he bustled about making each coffee to the recipient's specific tastes. Jack slid his arms around Ianto's waist while he works:"John takes sugar and cream and – "
"A dash of Bailey's," Ianto interrupted, "I remember. I made it for him when we were planning our search for the canisters."
Jack kissed Ianto's neck. The younger man was used to making coffee with Jack pressed up behind him, it was a routine he had mastered early into their quasi-relationship, so he was unhampered in his task and he let Jack stay. When Ianto was almost finished Jack asked, "How long has it been?"
"Three months and twelve days." Ianto replied, "And for you?"
"Longer." Jack replied, moving away slightly to allow Ianto to pick up the tray and walk back towards the control room. The TARDIS had rotated the kitchen while they were in there and it now took them twenty steps to walk to the control room which gave Jack ample time to rub up against Ianto.
When they entered the room Ianto began passing out coffee and Jack began admiring Ianto's firm buttocks. It was then that he began to notice little changes made around the ship. John was sitting on a leather couch in one corner next to a potted plant. There were also cup holders built onto the control panel which The Doctor was able to set his cup on.
"Plants make people happy," Ianto told Jack as he handed him his coffee.
"I remember a time when there was a plant that did not make you happy," Jack laughed, moaning in pleasure as he took a sip of his drink.
Ianto groaned as he remembered the alien flora that once held him under its thrall, "Even when I wasn't a field agent everything happened to me: I got turned invisible, I got turned into a woman, and I got controlled by a plant."
"Our date at the zoo didn't end very well did it? Though you did end up naked so I could count that as a success," Jack grinned.
"Except that out of all the people who ended up seeing my cock-a-doodle-do that night you weren't one of them," Ianto laughed.
"Have the two love birds made up then?" John drawled from the corner.
Ianto tossed the tray like a Frisbee at John and went to help the Doctor start up the TARDIS, "Where are we headed Doctor?"
"Anywhere in space and time," The Doctor replied with a cheeky smile, "Do we have to bring the troublesome twosome with us?"
"I doubt we'll be able to shake them off. I believe Jack once held onto the TARDIS as it flew through the time vortex to the end of the universe." Ianto told him dryly.
The Doctor nodded thoughtfully, "But it was trying to get away from him so maybe it will help out again. Time travelers don't like fixed points."
"We'll just have to cross our fingers and hope then," Ianto let out a heavy sigh which morphed by itself into a large yawn.
The Doctor looked at him curiously and switched off the TARDIS, "Shall we stay here for the night instead? We just saved a planet I think that's cause for a good night's sleep."
"We all just drank coffee," Ianto insisted, "We aren't going to be able to sleep now."
"Well then, how about a game?"
"Naked hide and seek?"Jack asked hopefully.
"I'm literally up for that," John put in.
"No." The Doctor shot them down firmly causing the two ex-time agents to frown in a dignified manner (okay they pouted, though they wouldn't admit to that).
"How about we play Nertz?" Ianto suggested, "It's kind of like solitaire."
Jack, having played the game in the HUB with his former team, immediately agreed and helped Ianto explain the rules as they headed towards the kitchen to play, "It's like Dutch Blitz…"
The Doctor and John picked up the card game rules quickly and it became a fast paced frenzy of flying cards. They played for several hours with the winner switching off between the players each round. They had agreed on playing to two hundred and all four competitors were just shy of the number going into the twentieth round.
"Nertz!" Jack yelled triumphantly, confident that the extra bonus of ten points from emptying his pile first would secure him the win. He was taunting the others when the final count revealed that Ianto had managed to get twice as many cards as Jack out which meant the victory went to him.
Ianto reveled in his win through a quick happy dance that caused John to snort, "I cheated and bloody eye candy still beat me. How is that possible?"
"If you cheat inside the TARDIS it makes sure that you lose," The Doctor explains.
"No cheating? Maybe we should have played naked hide and seek. I could have won for once," Ianto pondered out loud, his eyes glittering with humor at Jack.
"Well we could go to your room and have a one on one competition," Jack suggested, scooting his chair closer to Ianto, his eyes dark with desire.
Ianto waggled his finger warningly at Jack, "You're not forgiven that easily Jack. Some pretty words and a few kisses isn't enough to get you back in my bed."
"You could always punish me first," Jack murmured suggestively, sliding his hand up Ianto's inner thigh.
The Doctor stood abruptly and rushed out with a hand over his eyes calling: "Alright then, I'm off to bed. See you all in the morning."
Jack looked pointedly at John, making it clear that he should make himself scarce, but John shook his head: "This is the best entertainment I've had since that triple breasted whore a few planets back. I'm staying for the show."
"There isn't going to be a show," Ianto insisted, pushing Jack's hand away. He gathered up the empty mugs and took them over to the sink to wash. Jack and John watched with raised eyebrows as Ianto pulled out an apron, a pair of rubber gloves, and dishwashing soap.
John sneered as Jack walked over to help dry, "How domestic of you. I guess I will go catch some shut eye or maybe see if there is room in The Doctor's bed."
"Better men than you have tried and failed," Jack let him know as he slowly dried a dish with a cloth handed to him by Ianto.
"Including Jack," The newly instated time lord piped up cheekily. Jack took this as cause to splash some water at the younger man. Ianto retaliated by squirting a soapy stream back at the brash immortal. Jack tried to turn the quick battle into a water fight war but Ianto admonished him until he started drying again.
After the dishes were finished Jack leaned in for a kiss, but Ianto turned him away, "I can't Jack, not yet. I can't have it be like before and when you kiss me everything stops so I have to think."
Ianto left Jack standing there and rushed off to his own room. He had painted the door to his bedroom red so he could differentiate between the moving doors. He stripped down to a pair of threadbare red boxers and absentmindedly conducted his evening routine: he threw his clothes in the hamper, brushed his teeth, washed his face, and set his alarm.
An hour later Ianto was still wide awake under the covers and so he tiptoed out into the corridor and towards the light that was still on in the kitchen. Jack was sitting at the table, his chin resting in his hand as he stared off into space. Ianto stood in the doorway and called softly, "Jack."
Jack looked up, surprise turning to worry: "Yan? Is everything okay? Can I get you something?"
"Will you come to bed with me?" Ianto asked shyly, not meeting Jack's gaze, "Just to sleep."
A wide smile spread across Jack's face, "I would love to."
Ianto led Jack to his room and carefully helped Jack out of his greatcoat. Jack undressed while Ianto hung the coat up on the rack present in the corner. Ianto stroked the tough but soft military fabric as he listened to Jack slid under the covers, "Check the inside left pocket."
"The lube pocket?" Ianto remarked with a verbal raised eyebrow.
Jack laughed, "Below that one. I thought you should have it back."
Ianto pulled out the thin sliver silk of one of his ties, "There's blood on it. Jack…"
"Come to bed Yan. I'll explain. No more secrets."
The sheets slid aside momentarily so that Ianto could join Jack beneath them. Jack spread his arms so that Ianto could rest his head against Jack's bare chest, and then gripped the younger man tight in his embrace. Ianto yawned as he buried his head under Jack's chin, "Okay. Explain the blood Jack."
Jack threaded his fingers in Ianto's thick brown hair, "Maybe we should wait till morning. You're knackered: you should sleep."
Ianto looked up crossly, which from his current position made him look slightly cross-eyed, "Jack. You said no more secrets. I want to know now."
Jack sighed, and trailed his fingers over Ianto's mostly naked body, not trying to entice Ianto, but to reassure himself that this was all real and not a vivid hallucination, "I was in a bad place for awhile: after I thought I lost you. I couldn't live with the memories and so at night I didn't live with them."
Ianto inhaled sharply, "Jack, you have to promise me that you'll never do that again. I know what it's like now Jack, the darkness."
Jack placed a firm kiss to the top of Ianto's head, "I lost all hope Ianto. I was in my own darkness and I couldn't get back. There was no super power to pull me back over the shattered glass."
Soft lips kissed the hollow of Jack's throat, "After Lisa you gave me meaning again. You taught me how to live again. Maybe it's time that I returned the favor."