Ah, sorry for the late update.
The ride to the hospital was strange. It was an abrupt change of scene from the café, ripped out of context without so much as a warning. L organized a car and driver and within minutes they were speeding off towards the hospital.
Light seemed fidgety. Not noticeably, but just enough that someone like L had to take note of. Just a slight clench of his hands on his knees and sitting a little too straight in his car seat. All meant to convey distress, tension. After all, he'd just been informed that his father had suffered a heart attack and was now hospitalized.
Neither of them spoke the word that had rolled off their tongues so quickly in the café. Light knew what had to be revolving around in L's head. Was it Kira? Did Kira do this? He knew the answer to that and he couldn't help the smug feeling of superiority rising in him. This time he was ahead in the game. Not that he should let it go to his head, this was still L he was dealing with but this time he, Light, was the one who knew more.
They were met at the hospital door by Light's mother, who was looking worn out and nervous. His father was alive and stable she told them quietly, the rigid cut of her black hair emphasizing the tired lines on her face, lines of worry and lost sleep. So different from her son's smooth, controlled face, the implacable bronze hair.
Light gave his mother a perfunctory kiss and squeezed her arm lightly, reassuringly. Now was the moment he could prove to L that he couldn't possibly be Kira. The Kira of public perception was a monster, not a loving, caring son. And while L was smarter than the average person he couldn't be totally untouched by prejudices, by preformed opinions and thoughts. He was human after all.
They were let into the room of Light's father. It was white and cold and smelled like disinfectant, like most of the hospital. It provoked that irrational feeling of fear that hospitals invariable do simply because of one fact: you don't go there unless something bad had happened.
Chief Yagami was in the crisp hospital bed, arm attached to an infusion. He looked worn out, worse than he had all these last weeks, and he had looked bad then. Still, it was probably no surprise considering that he had just had a heart attack.
"Light," his father sounded like he looked, tired and creased, "You came."
"Mother called me," he said as he sat down in the chair beside his mother. L took the one beside him; legs pulled up again but Light ignored him. For now his father had to be the priority, "How are you?"
His father tried to smile but it came out more like a grimace, "All right. The doctor said it was probably due to too much work and that I should rest for the next time."
"Really? That's all?" he had to broach the subject and make it seem like it had been on his mind the whole time. Well, it had…but in a different form than on the others probably.
"Light!" his mother criticized sharply, eyebrows creasing disapprovingly. Her husband had just survived a heart attack after all.
"What?" he looked at her. She should let him talk. "It was a heart attack! It's only logical that I'm thinking of Kira."
"Actually, the same through went through my head when I collapsed," Soichiro Yagami interrupted, forestalling any argument his wife would give.
"As Chief Inspector you do carry a certain amount of risk," the L said, speaking up for the first time since they had both voiced Kira's name in the café. He looked thoughtful, trying to take it all and order it before everything became mixed up, "On the other hand, we've never heard of one of Kira's attempts failing."
Well you wouldn't, Light thought scornfully. Even if the attempts did fail (which, with the Death Note was completely impossible) they would just think it was a normal heart attack, wouldn't they?
Light's mother looked nervously at L, her eyes wide and frightened. She didn't want to talk about it, didn't want to acknowledge the dangerous possibility that her husband was in danger from someone the world viewed as a serial killer. Didn't want to look the truth in the eye. Weakness.
"Sachiko, go home," her husband said, calm authority filling his voice, "I feel fine. And don't tell Sayu anything. I don't want her to worry."
For a moment she looked like she wanted to argue, then Light's mother stood up and gathered up her bags. She looked worriedly at her husband one more time, then glanced at her son and began to head for the door, "Look after him Light. I'll be back again later."
The white hospital door swung closed, removing the last of her presence form the room and the tension both released and tightened at the same time. Released because now they could speak without reservation, tightened because now they would have to talk about it. It was like the air was slowly being sucked out of the room, bit by bit.
"I'm pretty sure it wasn't Kira," Soichiro finally said, "the stress, problems with my superiors and subordinates, lack of sleep, being afraid of being targeted by Kira…it was all just too much."
"Surely the fact that your son was being suspected as Kira also played a role," L commented, his voice loaded with heartfelt pity, eyes sliding to Light.
He was startled, by the compassion in L's voice (his father knew the risks, didn't he?) as well as the bit of information, "Father knows about that?"
"Yes," L answered evenly, round black eyes trained on Light, "Your father knows everything. Also that I am L."
Light's head swiveled back to his father, looking for conformation. The beautiful, brown, almond-shaped eyes were intense, noting every signal in the tired, worn face, with the graying hair, the dark mustache and the sunken cheeks.
"It's true," his father stated, "He's L. We call him 'Ryuzaki' to keep up the façade but he is L."
He was the real thing. Light almost couldn't believe it but he was, he was. The real thing. For a moment he stared again, the pallid skin, the wide eyes that were looking somewhere into the distance, absently gnawing on his thumb. Somewhere in his mind there was a rushing sound, like static or white noise and a tingle on his skin but for the most part he ignored it. Since this was the real L maybe he could solve his problem by getting rid of him and the whole investigation team…but he shouldn't rush this. He needed to this properly and carefully if he wanted to leave no loose threads. For now he was Light Yagami who was worrying about his father.
"So, Ryuzaki," Soichiro started up again, "Were you able to lay your suspicions about my son to rest?"
"No," his voice was flat, without inflection. Not bored exactly, as he seemed to find all this extremely interesting, but nothing to get worked up about, "they were confirmed actually."
In his mind Light chuckled, cool and detached, but outwardly he flared, just slightly, "Stop being so insensitive! My father just had a heart attack, don't cause him anymore stress!"
"It's alright Light," his father's voice was quite, tired but commanding, "I prefer to know. Besides you are only a minimal suspect."
In some way that was insulting. That he was only a minimal suspect. But then he supposed that it was a compliment to his talents, that after doing all this they barely had anything about him. Irritating that they did have anything at all…but still.
"Yes, you seem to be misunderstanding something, Yagami," L was peering at him from the corners of his wide, round eyes. Looking at him without actually turning his head, out form under the dark, messy bangs that stuck up in every direction, "As I said, your suspicion is on a very minimal percentage. Let me explain."
There was a tug in him, going in two different directions. Let me explain again…did he think he was stupid? But then, he was explaining, giving him information.
"Kira killed the twelve FBI agents stationed in Japan," L intoned, hands resting on top of his knees, not looking at Light anymore but somewhere into the room, "This we can tell from the fact that they were all killed on the same day, the 27 of December, also the day they received the file. Besides that it is clear that Kira had information from the investigation headquarters. I don't know this for sure, but I assume the security system was lax.
"The probability that Kira had access to the data of one of the members of the headquarters is very high. But even though he killed the twelve FBI agents he didn't kill anyone from the HQ. This indicates that Kira had a personal relationship with someone form the headquarters. Although someone like Kira wouldn't hold back from killing someone he cared about, I think."
For a moment L looked thoughtful.
"I see…" Light prodded him to continue. It was fascinating, somehow to be treated to the conclusions of such a mind. Not that he wouldn't have been able to deduce all of these things himself.
"With one agent, Raye Penbar, there were irregularities. And by now his fiancé, who was also in Japan, has disappeared as well."
"So that's how you ended up with the Kitamura's and us as your prime suspects," he used the pronoun us loosely in this case. As far as Light knew he was the only suspect from his family.
"Yes."
"Until now I never thought of the fact that it would be hard for Kira to kill innocent Japanese, being Japanese himself," Light observed. Of course he hadn't. It wasn't true. If an innocent person had to die for Kira to continue, well it was unfortunate but…there had to be sacrifices. Those were the deaths the revolution was built on. God how that sounded, Light almost smiled to himself. Spouting his own propaganda and there wasn't even anyone listening yet. Some sacrifices just had to be made. "But it seems reasonable that Kira is among the people observed by the FBI. And since I was among those people it's no wonder I'm under suspicion. And if I've understood right there are no other suspects, correct?"
"Very nicely worked out Light," L said, "Quick and precise."
For a moment Light looked at him, trying to figure out if he was mocking him. The voice was still inflectionless but somehow he sensed a faint curl of amusement around the edges. But he couldn't tell if it was mocking or approving. How irritating. Most people were so easy to read but he…he slipped through the cracks. Everything about him, his eccentric looks and under-stimulated behavior made him hard to pin. In a way it made him strangely appealing.
"I'll cooperate with the headquarters," Light stated, leaning back in his chair, "After all, my father confirmed your identity. And I will find Kira and prove my innocence." By which he meant he would find their weakness, crack them open and destroy them. Thoroughly, to suit his purposes.
"Light…you'll study and later you can join the police force, but now," his father began.
"What are you talking about?" Light frowned at him, "Until then years will have gone by! Besides I promised-" and he let his features soften, aware of L peering at him again, "-that I would see that Kira is punished if something happened to you." Not that this had anything to do with Kira, technically. But it was still a good show, "It's Kira's fault that you are in the hospital. I'm going to do everything I can to help solve the case."
He was aware, almost of a change in L's face. Not really in the features, which were kept immobile but of the attitude behind it. It was that easy.
"Yagami," L said and Light turned his head to meet the black eyes once again looking at him from the side, in between the bangs. Somewhere, in the back of his mind, somewhere far away and almost completely unregistered he wondered if the hair was as coarse as it looked. "What kind of person do you think Kira is?"
Almost, almost he smiled again. "I think…Kira is spoiled child."
He paused to let the words sink in. L had crossed his arms on his knees, "Interesting…"
"Kira is trying, in his opinion, to make the world a better place by killing criminals. It's typical of middle school student." Light folded his hands and leaned forward, letting his elbows rest on his knees, in deep thought, "A younger child would be too scared to use the power or only against people it knows and hates. Adults would use the power for personal gain, money or career. Kira is somehow pure, like a protected child. My tip would be a middle schooler, probably with their own PC, television etc."
The room was silent for a moment. Did he know the description could very easily apply to him? Of course. But there was one other person who would fit even more perfectly-
"In light of the profile you just created, one person looks especially suspicious," L followed up, "and that would be Sayu Yagami."
Bingo! Except that she didn't have the brains. "How can you say that?" Light leapt from his seat, a pantomime of rage, "Could you please think about my father's condition for a moment?"
"I just followed your logic, Yagami," L sounded almost defensive. Somewhere behind them Ryuk cackled.
"Stop it, both of you," Chief Yagami demanded and Light turned his attention back to his father. Strange how he had almost forgotten his presence, "If you want to fight go outside." They fell silent and looked at the careworn older man. "I'm absolutely sure that Sayu could never do such a thing," he continued, "She's too soft hearted, she wouldn't be able to."
"Obviously he thinks you're capable," Ryuk sniggered at the same time as L said, "Maybe." Light ignored them both.
"Kira is evil, that much is clear," his father continued, lined face set in determination, eyes focused on the ceiling, eyebrows drawn in a firm line, "But recently I've been wondering if the true evil isn't the power that let's them kill. It's a misfortune for a person to have this power. No matter what they do, killing can never make a person happy."
"You're right, if Kira is a normal person who has this power by accident then he's to be pitied," L continued, blank face somehow radiating seriousness. Light resisted the urge to roll his eyes at their philosophical bullshit. Ryuk continued chuckling.
"Ryuzaki, I promise I'll be better soon," Soichiro stated suddenly and there was an alarming fierceness radiating form the focused, black eyes.
"Father! You have to get better first. Don't overdo it!" Light chided him. And it was true; he didn't want his father actually dying from exhaustion.
"You're son is right," and a hint of actual feeling entered L, Ryuzaki, whatever's voice.
"But if I lie here I feel like I'm dead," Soichiro complained at the same time as there was a knock on the door and a nurse entered the room, a starched, white thing, black hair tucked back neatly, clipboard over her arm, prime like the hospital.
"Visiting time is over," she announced and so they said there good-byes. Light promised to look after his mother and Sayu until his father got home. They walked in the corridor without speaking, the silence filled with the quiet swishing of Ryuk's wide black wings. How odd to think he should be the only one to hear them.
Outside there was the car, black and anonymous, waiting to take L back to wherever he was staying.
"Ryuga," Light spoke as they walked down the few steps of the hospital and the black haired young man turned around to face him, questioning look in his eyes. It was amazing, really, how much he could convey while staying completely blank.
"Is there someway I can prove I'm not Kira?" Light asked.
"If you aren't Kira then there is no need to prove anything," there was a slight coolness around the tone, disapproving, almost.
Light's eyes narrowed. He did not like that tone, "Listen, what do you think it feel like to be suspected for murder?"
And for a moment L was silent, eyes facing skyward. Thinking, deeply, about what he had said. Honestly trying to imagine. Strange that he had to think about it, even stranger that he actually did. Mouth slightly open, circles under the eyes emphasized. Something in Light pulled.
"It feels horrible," he said at last, without inflection again but as if he had really understood.
"Maybe I could put myself under observation for a month or so," Light suggested, as if his insides weren't currently coiling and pulling in different directions at once. He ignored it.
"That's not possible, we still have to observe human rights," form the tone Light found it impossible to tell if L thought this a good or a bad thing, "Besides, it makes very little sense to take up a suggestion of a suspect."
"Ah, yes…" well he supposed that was true.
"Don't worry, if you're not Kira it will show in time," L turned away from him to climb into the car, offering him a few of a broad expanse of back, hunched shoulders under the white fabric, "Besides the association with your father has almost dispelled my suspicions," He turned to look at him one last time, meeting his eyes, "Tell your father to get well soon."
"I will," the door closed and something occurred to Light, "listen, I know I said I would help but as long as my father is in the hospital I won't have time."
"Yes alright," already distracted, "Good-bye."
The car drove off. Light watched the headlights disappear around the corner, the street full of lights from buildings, streetlights and neon signs. The sky above them was not really black with all the light and here and there single stars were struggling to show. City colors.
"I've never felt that having the Death Note was a misfortune," Light said suddenly, eyes still riveted on the spot where the car had disappeared, "In fact I'm happy that I was given this power to enable me to create the perfect world.
"I don't care whether the Death Note makes you happy or unhappy," Ryuk said. To him this was all an amusing game, albeit of a different sort than Light and L played. Less rollercoaster and more television, "But I do have to say, people who are haunted by a God of Death never end up happy."
Light turned his head and his bangs fell over his face and covered his eyes. He was smiling, amused by such a statement.
"Well then I'll prove you wrong."
"That'll be interesting." And Ryuk was chortling again.
Light really is a bastard.