Beast Boy's POV
I'm in her bed. She is next to me. We are still. Noiseless.
~Flashback to 30 minutes ago~
"Robin you have to believe me!"
"Beast Boy this is ridiculous! You're being ridiculous!"
"Robin, please!"
I don't know what else to do but beg for my leader to take the events I have relayed to him into some kind of concertation. He really thinks I am pulling everyone's leg for some sick joke.
My body is going to quit on me soon and my chest burns with the notion that I won't be able to convince Boy Wonder of anything.
I'm vibrating like a madman. Green, damp hair protruding in all directions. Raven's cloak, now quite damp from the downpour, still to hang loosely over my frame, is keeping my exposed forearms safe from the others view.
A small hand, unnoticed by everyone else, skims it's way across my lower back until laying rest on my hip. Raven. The small reminder of her presence calms me almost immediately.
"Robin," Raven says monotone, "You need to get over whatever your problem is. We all need to prepare for the possible return of Slade."
He isn't looking at anyone, but I can sense he's angry. I know he dislikes me, maybe even hates, but this is pushing it. I saw Slade. I talked to Slade. I'm completely and utterly terrified and my leader thinks I'm lying through my teeth.
Tensions are thick. My gaze gravitates to the common room windows that are showcasing the rain that continues to come down in unceasing tremendous fronts. For a moment I feel like I'm floating. My body is so overrun with conflicting and powerful emotions that it has no choice but to shove my conscious mind out into the space before me. I'm floating in space. I'm so full of despair but out here, in my rejected mind, the divine dull of all perception is awe-inspiring. There is no contentment, only nothingness. Is this what death is? A everlasting state of serenity. No happiness, but no pain either. Do you hate pain enough that you can give up happiness, or love happiness enough that you can live with pain? I don't believe anyone can be positive of anyone else's answer. This choice is personal preference.
"Beast Boy!"
I jolt and meet four sets of eyes. I have no words to say.
Apparently Robin doesn't either because he turns away again.
"B," Cyborg says softly and steady, "How about we go wrap your shoulder?" He sees my distress and is trying to separate everyone so another fight can't happen, but I can't go with him. I can't have him see the cuts.
"No Cyborg I'll just heal him." Raven, still next to me, says again monotone and again saving my ass.
Her touch, long removed from my side, is now on my arm. I look to her. I realize the last time I remember blinking was before I started floating and haven't since, even when I came back. I let my eyelids fall over my wide, deranged eyes and sigh.
Form the corner of my perception I see Starfire observe us questionably. But before I can address it, Raven is guiding me to the hallway barring our rooms.
When we are out of site, we holding each other. Then it really hits me how un-Raven-like all this physical contact is, not that I'm complaining. But my curiosity will most likely have to be put on hold for now, like me, she has other things on her mind.
Her gray hands zip across the glowing touchscreen keypad next to the door. It grants us entry by gliding to the left when she ceases the passcode.
She guides me to her bed centered in the middle of the back wall. I glance up to her as I sit on her pale purple comforter. Inside he is calm and still but beneath that exterior is determination and she barely acknowledges my eyes on her as she takes off the cape. Her arms run over my battered limb. It hurts and I tense up, but have her contact somehow makes it less painful.
I'm slowly pulled off the bed and on to my feet.
"Wh-?" I start to ask confused as to why she moved me.
"Shhh." She whispers, turning my around and placing her hands on my back. She finds the zipper to my uniform and swiftly draws it down my back revealing green skin. My breathe halts and I sink my teeth in my lower lip as her hands freeze. I consider morphing into a cat or something, anything that would save Raven from having to view the scars carved on me.
The sensation of cool fingertips brushing just between my shoulder blades compels me to straighten up. Steadily, she brings her palm down as well.
"You didn't do these."
I sigh before answering.
"No, life of a superhero I guess."
She don't say anything. Saw through my lie I suppose.
She continues stripping me of my suit till I am left in only boxers. She pays no mind to my almost nakedness or the other marks on my body, self inflicted or not. I'm sat back down and she begins to heal my injury.
All muscles in me loosen and I have to stop myself from falling limp on my back as Raven's magic rushes through me. It's an amazing feel, it always is. This is the first time I have been able to feel it's full power directly on my skin.
Minutes later she is done.
"Go take a shower, I'm going to change."
"Ok." I say as I get off the bed and start for the door.
"Wait," Her order makes me stop and turn to her again. Much to my surprise I am met with a kiss. Small and quick, but amazing nonetheless.
"Like you." I mutter and smile.
"Like you, too."
In another ten minutes I'm at her door again. She lets me in after a knock twice. She is dressed in a simple t-shirt and baggy sweatpants. I must admit it is a little odd to see Raven in such attire, but I enjoy it. The pain and non eccentric clothing brought out her beauty.
I'm dressed in washed out flannel pants and a white t-shirt leaving my arms exposed, but I feel kind of ok about it… because this is Raven.
~End of flashback~
I could fall asleep. I fight my eyelid's urge to drift shut. I know Raven wants to talk so I must stay awake. Without having to look I know that her mind is at work thinking of what questions to ask me, how to figure me out. I, on the other hand, am trying to determine how much I should tell her. How far I should let her see inside me. In the last few days Raven has broken through more of my metal defences than anyone has in years. I'm starting to think it's no use even attempting to keep her out.
"Here's how I think we should do this," She starts, her voice soft and barely audible, "I'll ask a question and you can answer or say pass, simple enough."
"Sounds good."
"Ok," She waste no time as she asks me, "How many times a week would you… you know?"
I consider passing.
"I'm not going to get angry with you, Beast Boy."
We both stare up at the ceiling.
"It was never really consistent," I close my eyes, but elaborate, "Some weeks I needed it every night, others I could go a few days without it."
I let her process the new information and I could see her nod in the darkness. Then again it really wasn't that dark to me.
"Why do you need it?"
Minutes go by as I form a response.
"I need it to help distract from other pains."
I know she wants more, but I can't really explain it.
"When did you start?"
"Back in the Doom Patrol."
"Is cutting all you do to yourself?"
"Pass."
"I'm I the only one who knows."
"No."
"Who else knows?"
"Mento."
"How did he find out?"
"Saw them once, same as you."
"How did he respond?"
"Pass."
"What did you do before the Doom Patrol?"
"Pass."
"Were you always green?"
I laugh a little at that question because I guess I never really realized all the Titans probably just assumed I was born this way. Born green. "No."
"Where you always a shapeshifter?"
"No."
"How did you become this way then?"
"Pass."
"Will you tell me your past one day?"
"Possibly."
"Will you let me try to help you stop hurting yourself?"
"... yes."
I can feel her smile.
"Will you tell the others soon?"
"I don't know."
"What are you going to do about Slade?"
"I don't know."
"Do you hate us for not seeing what you were doing to yourself, for not helping?"
"No, I never wanted you or any of them to know about it at all."
"Have you ever tried to kill yourself?"
"Pas-"
"No Beast Boy I'm making an exception for this one question, I need you to answer this. I need to know if there is a possibility you plan for us to come home and find you dead in your room one day." She says fast and hard, getting louder and more passionate as she went on.
I turn my head to encounter her purple gems already locked on me. She is straining to keep her powers under her jurisdiction as tears threatened to spill over.
My eyes are wide as I take in her fears. Then they close.
"Yes."
Her tears fall and a wave of black devours the room. Small objects levitate and furniture shakes.
"Raven stop! Wait!" I gather her into my arms, "It was years ago under circumstances that wouldn't ever happen again. I've never tried to do it in my time as a Titan."
She searches my face for signs I'm being untruthfull. Finding none her magic retracts, putting the room back to the way it was seconds ago.
We collapse back into the blankets. Squeezing the life out of each other. Both of us have trails of salt water draining for our eyes.
"Beast Boy I don't think I could handle losing you, none of us could."
I don't quite believe that statement to it's fullest extent, but it's wonderful to hear the words fall from her perfect lips.
"Let's just get through this day by day." I nod my agreement into her hair.
"Beast Boy," She eases me away from our hug and cups my chin to have me look at her, "You have to come to me when you feel the need to do any kind of harm to yourself. I know I must have said it twenty times by now, but I feel you need the extra reinforcement, anytime of night, anytime of day, find me I'll be there."
We bring our lips together as if to seal the deal. No tongue just gentle motions. Then somewhere along the way we start to giggle, which turns to quiet laughter, which turns to louder laughter.
We crack up through our drying tears. What about, I don't know, but it only stops when we are laying down once more creasing each other's back in circles and rubs. Sleep find us not long after.
The rain never stopped.
Starfire's POV
I really don't know what exactly happened to friend Beast Boy. Grant it, the thought of Slade being back is quite hard to swallow, but to think both friend Beast Boy and friend Raven lied about something so serious is unimaginable. And why is Robin so distasteful towards our little changeling is beyond me. He is normally somewhat rude to him, but this is pushing it.
Now here I find myself on the couch of the common room watching friend Cyborg and Boyfri- just friend Robin fight like very sick dogs.
"Robin what if he's right?! What if Slade is back?!"
"Cyborg you can't actually believe Beast Boy of all people!"
Cyborg looked personal offended by that comment.
"Robin what the hell is your problem with him!"
"I don't have a problem with him! Look you saw him smash into that wall, he probably hit his head and started seeing things."
"Robin why can't you even give what he said a little thought?!"
"Because he's most likely just pulling our leg and being a child, like always!"
"Fuck you Robin!"
My friends look like they are about to kill each other.
"Please stop!" The two pause mid scream, "Look at yourselves! Our friends are sleeping in the other room and all this commotion might weaken them!"
"Star's right, but Robin you need to get your fucking act together. What if Beast Boy said is true and Slade fucking comes after him? What are you going to do then?" His voice was low and dangerous.
"That's not going to happen Cy."
The half robot half human hybrid glares at the smaller teen in front of him before walking towards the hallway and to his room.
"Robin…" I start but he won't make eye contact. We stand there for many long, silent minutes. I want to go to him, but I'm honestly frightened by Robin when he gets like this. Without a word he storms off to the elevator and doubtlessly goes to his study.
When he is out of view I let a single tear trail down my cheek. Oh Robin.
Authors Note: Sorry this took so long, but it's up now so enjoy. Please review!