Everything was moving so fast. It made her feel sick.

Everything was so confusing. She wanted to go home, but at the same time she dreaded it. She knew nothing would ever be the same. But still, being at home with her brothers would beat being stuck in foster care.

She needed to straighten things out in her head. Here where the facts. Their parents had died. Both of them. Coming to pick up Elena. She hated herself for missing her bus over something so dumb as being nervous of a school bully. Since her and Jeremy were legally still children they both were shipped off to foster care. Alaric was working to get custody and was making fine progress, but it was still a long way. Luckily, the counselor said, it was coming to an end, they'd be leaving soon.

If Elena hadn't felt so… sick… this past week she would've been terrified of the foster home. It was overcrowded, messy, and loud. Filled with kids who had been there much longer than her and with much deeper issues. The yelling and shouting that lasted into the night and fights. Constantly. Over everything. Stealing was common as well, Elena's food had been taken very often, if she wasn't sick and had actually had an appetite, she would've been starving. Most left her alone though since she was quiet and stuck to herself and had Jeremy glued to her side the entire time. The only time they weren't together was at night, since the males and females had separate sleeping areas.

Elena wasn't sad. She was just confused. And stressed. The mix of those emotions is what made her sick. Her head hurt and she found herself constantly tired. Somehow everything seemed duller, slower. Before people and life and colors had been vibrant and fast passed, now it all just seemed like a boring movie. She was ready to sleep in her own bed with her teddy bear.

The day her parents died ran through her head on a constant loop. She remembered her mom waking her, getting picked on, again, hiding in the bathroom, when the man came in and took her into his car where Jeremy already was, crying, to tell her that her parents had died in an unfortunate accident. Unfortunate accident. That's what he had called it. Unfortunate was being bullied at school, unfortunate was having her food taken, unfortunate was still being so tiny at her age. Her parents dying in a car crash wasn't unfortunate, it was tragic.

*TVD*TVD*TVD*

The funeral was the most boring experience of her life. She felt so sick, she couldn't even cry. It was all just so… typical. White flowers, the 'I'm sorry's, the matching caskets, sappy speeches from random people acting like they actually knew them, the smiling portraits of her parents, and the dull clothing on everyone. Elena had excused herself multiple times to use the bathroom which really meant get a break from all the pointless sympathy. No one questioned it, assuming she was just upset.

The only good part where her brothers. She knew them well enough to tell they were just as disappointed. Funerals like this where meant for people not involved closely with their lives, one-sided family members whom they'd never really gotten the chance to know. Not their parents. Who were multidimensional and loving and imperfect and were here, for them, but now were suddenly gone.

Everyone kept coming up and asking if she was okay. It annoyed her, do they really care? What do they expect her to say other than fine? If she were to explain how sick she felt, all they'd do was say sorry as if it were their fault then walk away and gossip to their friends about poor little Elena the orphan. When her brothers asked it wasn't annoying, she knew they cared and would actually try to help her if she told them the truth, but still she lied to them as well. Whenever anyone would ask she would just respond with an answer as shallow as the question, 'I'm okay.'

*TVD*TVD*TVD*

For some reason she thought her bed would feel different, relieving, but she felt the same and it just felt like a bed. Still, she found it nice to be home again where she could lock herself in her room and just sleep. No extra noise or questions, just herself. Sleep came easy and she slept a lot. It was the only time when she didn't feel so sick.

*TVD*TVD*TVD*

"What about school? You guys need to go back at some point." Alaric stated. "Plus, it might be good for Elena, help get her out of bed for a little while, right?"

"Are you serious? She hates school, it would only make her worse." Jeremy added.

"Well give me some fucking ideas cause I don't know what the fuck to do! She won't eat, she won't talk, she just sleeps! All the time! You know… I'm not supposed to be a parent." His voice breaking at the end.

"Mom would make her go back to school." Matt spoke up.

"If mom were here we wouldn't be having this conversation." With that Jeremy stormed upstairs to his room.

Ric put his head in his hands, he felt a migraine coming on. He didn't know what to do. He didn't know how to help anyone and as the oldest that was his job. It killed him to see all his siblings hurting and it killed him even more to see them not come to him, like they felt they knew he wouldn't be able to help and they had to fend for themselves.

"Ric, we're here to help you know that right? You aren't the parent, you never will be to us, but you are our older brother which doesn't mean just us leaning on you. It goes both ways. We'll figure this out and help each other together."

"Thanks, Matty."

*TVD*TVD*TVD*

"Hey, Lena, why don't you come downstairs and get some food, okay?"

Alaric gently shook her awake and she glared angrily at him. Sleeping had been so nice and he had woken her up for something she didn't even want.

"I'm not hungry."

"Elena, please eat."

"No." She said stubbornly.

"Well… I'm the adult now and you need to listen to me." It felt strange and foreign to boss his little sister around like she was his daughter.

Elena sat up in bed, rage shaking her. "Fuck off, Ric! Being an adult doesn't mean shit! You aren't mom! You aren't dad! So stop acting like you are! GET OUT!"

'Ele-"

"GET OUT, GET OUT, GET OUT, GET OUT, GET OUT, GET OUT! GET OUT OF MY ROOM! LEAVE ME ALONE!"

Ric didn't say anything, but continued to stay seated on her bed as she started screaming and kicking him. He let her take it all out as hot tears ran down her face. When she paused to take a breath was when Ric pulled her into his arms.

At first she fought him again, but eventually ended up holding him to her, heaving heavy sobs, crying harder than she ever had in her entire life, crying so hard it physically hurt and she had trouble breathing. She barely managed to get her words out.

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! It's my fault! It's all my fault!"

Ric didn't bother giving her a huge speech about how she had nothing to do with it, knowing she wouldn't hear him right now anyway. Instead he just whispered soothingly in her ear, assuring her that it wasn't and that everything would be okay, he'd make sure it was all okay.

A/N: Obviously this chapter is super short and I was planning on making it as long as the other chapters but thought it might be better like this. This chapter is choppy, skipping from scene to scene with not much description, and I decided to write it like that, not because I was half-assing it, but because I wanted it to somewhat sound how Elena's thought process was working. Her thoughts are choppy and short and not much detail because right now she's kind of numb and not taking as much in. I also considered including Damon in the second half of this chapter but thought it would be best if it was shorter and focused entirely on Elena and her family. I plan on having the next chapter (going back to normal length) having a time jump, not a huge one, but one where everyone, except for Elena and her brothers, are over the shock of their parents dying. One last thing, the reason this chapter took a while was because I was having trouble starting it. I wanted to show what Elena was going through without being incredibly obvious or cheesy. Let me know what you think and thank you for reading!