A/N: This chapter is shorter than the others... also there are a few drug jokes in this chapter... you have been warned.
Chapter 4: Magical Cross Dresser Pretty Sanji
It had been a week since Zoro regained his memories… everything was all right, there have been no attacks… however Usa was worried… worried about her sister. She has been trying to figure out both Sanji's role and who was the 4th female warrior or Magical Girl as they started calling them… in fact she had been up for the entire and hadn't slept in all that time. The combination of stress, lack of sleep and the fact she's a talking cat she lost it… that morning she completely snapped.
"I figured out who the 4th Magical Girl is! ME!" said Ko she began to dance around, "Look at me I'm the magical girl from happy land. I live in a gumdrop house on lollypop lane!"
Robin, Chopper and Usa backed into a corner… Luffy had pink heart duty that week as the Zoro Fan club no longer had a grudge agaisnt him.
"Ko's scaring me…" said Chopper.
Usa sighed, "Ko… I'm only doing this because I'm your sister and I love you…"
Usa went into the kitchen, and out with a small container. She dumped the whole container on Ko… her eyes turned to swirls.
"My paws… their so beautiful…" said Ko looking at her paws.
"What did you do?" asked Chopper.
"Gave her cat nip…" said Usa.
"You sure that's a good idea…" said Chopper.
"Yeah… she might pass some time today… though I do suspect that she may try to maul me when I get home…" said Usa with a sweat drop.
"So what are you going to do?" asked Robin.
"I'm going like a Gi…" said Usa.
"So you're either going to let her maul you or run away…" said Robin.
Usa only gave a nervous laugh as a response.
"We should get going to school… we'll be late if we don't leave now…" said Robin.
"Oh yeah…" said Usa.
And so the two girls left.
"Chopper… when did you get so big?" asked a very stoned Ko.
Chopper sighed… this was going to be a long day.
Later during lunch since it was a nice day, Luffy, Robin, Nami and Usopp were eating lunch on the roof.
"So you gave Ko cat nip so she'd relax?" asked Nami.
"Yeah you seen how she's been like… she snapped today…" said Usa, "She has slept in a week, she has barley eaten anything… she's really stressed out about this world…"
Usa was about to cry when Luffy diced to change the subject.
"Hey has anyone seen Zoro… he was supposed to meet us up her 10 minutes ago…" he said.
Back at the apartment… Ko was high… Zoro was there too… high… a half eaten Smurf was on the table...
"Oh man I'm so Smurfed right now…" said a very stoned Zoro
"Zoro when did you get here?" asked a very stoned Ko.
Suddenly Dengakuman from Bobo-bo showed up dressed like a smurf.
"Have some grilled Smurf dipped in Miso on a stick!"
(End Dream Sequence)
Ko woke up on her kitty bed that she has in Usa and Robin's room she was now sober.
"Oh man… that was a weird dream… Usa is going to pay for giving me that!" yelled Ko.
She felt someone behind her… she turned around a guy dressed like a king in a weird costume… he was the Burger King… he gave her sandwich… Ko screamed.
(End Dream Sequence)
Ko opened her eyes… she was human again… well technically ¾ human, ¼ cat but who's judging her right now… as long as she's not 100 percent cat she's happy. However it was odd, she wore a wedding dress. Usa was her maid of honor.
"What's going on?" asked Ko.
"You forget today is your wedding…" said Usa.
"What are you talking about? I'm not getting married… weren't we stuck in an alternate universe?" said Ko.
"I understand a bride is scared on her wedding day… but you don't want to disappoint your groom…" said Usa.
Ko grumbled, Usa didn't listen to her… she turned to see who the groom was… it was Sanji. Ko screamed out.
(End dream sequence)
Kop finally woke up for real this time… that had to be the weirdest and also scariest dream she ever had… she knew she was going to have that wedding nightmare for quite a while.
"Usa is going to pay!" yelled Ko.
"I can see you're clean…" said Chopper half jokingly.
"What happened?" asked Ko.
"You ate 5 pounds of cookies and read Usa's manga… then you passed out… and by the sounds of it had some pretty dreams…" said Chopper.
"You have no idea…" said Ko, she turned attention to the manga she was reading while high on the nip…
"Ranma ½… this seems familiar…" said Ko.
Then something clicked in her head, "The Jusenkyo Incident… what if… what if that's affecting this world…" she thought.
"I think I figured it out…" said Ko.
"What?" said Chopper.
"Its Lunch time right?" asked Ko.
"Yeah…" said Chopper.
Ko went over to the phone and called Usa's cell phone.
At the rooftop of the school, Zoro had finally gotten there.
"Sorry I was late the fan club… they made me lunch…" said Zoro wit about 20 lunches.
"If your not going to eat some can I have some?" asked Luffy.
"Go ahead…" said Zoro wit ha sweat drop.
Usa's cell phone rang.
"Hello?" asked Usa.
"USA WHY DID YOU DO THAT!" yelled Ko on the other end… it was so loud that it caused Usa's hair to move.
"S-s-sorry…" stuttered Usa.
"Well anyways there needs to be an emergency meeting today… I figured it out… I don't think it's a good time to tell you yet…" said Ko.
"That's great!" said Usa, "So tell them…"
"Of course… oh by the way… you're still not off the hook…" said Ko.
Ko brutally hung up while Usa sweat drop.
"So what's going on?" asked Usopp.
"Ko thinks she found it out… but it might be the nip talking... she didn't sound high though…" said Usa.
"Why do you get the cell phone?" asked Luffy.
Usa shrugged, she honestly didn't know…
Meanwhile in a dark place Seno finally came up with a plan…
"All right… I have the first victim… Ken Hata… teacher at Oda JR. High and coach for the school soccer team… love reading Love Love Paradise… not to choose the best monster…" said Seno.
After school, Luffy, Robin, Usa, Nami, Usopp and Zoro left the school just as soccer practice was getting underway in another part of the school…
That means the all the team members do stretches while waiting for Mr. Hata.
When he finally showed up there was a chorus of "YOU'RE LATE!"
"Sorry, a black crossed my path so I had to take a different route." said Mr. Hata.
"What kind of lame excuse was that?" asked Sanji.
"Oh yes Sanji I have a gift for you… I got you own copy so you would have to bum off me…" said Mr. Hata.
Sanji looked at him, "Is that you were really late?" he asked.
Mr. Hata sweatdroped.
A brigth light appeared not far from the Soccer field, the light took the form of a young woman. "Your heart and soul gem is mine…" she smiled evilly.
Usa stopped the others before they got inside the apartment.
"It's probably booby trapped… its for me I know… if I scream please help me…" said Usa.
She opened the door and screamed, the others ran and sweatdroped at the sight… she was covered in marshmallows. Ko was laughing evilly while put his face in his hoof.
After getting the marshmallows off of Usa it was time to get to business…
"I figured it out… I realized something… what if… somehow things that happened to us in the past affected this world…" said Ko.
"What do you mean?" asked Nami.
"I believe Sanji is…" said Ko holding dramatic tension… "The last Magical Girl…"
Everyone anime fell.
"You're kidding right?" asked Zoro.
"Hear me out… remember the Jusenkyo Incident…" said Ko.
"How can we not forget?" asked Nami.
"Well I have a theory… that somehow affected the outcome in this world… even though you were cured do not changed the fact that you were cursed…" said Ko.
"So you're saying that the curse in a way is still affecting Master Cook in this world…" said Robin.
"Bingo…" said Ko.
"What if your wrong?" asked Zoro.
"Then I'm wrong…" said Ko, "If it I am and we tell Sanji about what's going it might be mean that he's suppose to help us… in some bizarre way…"
"SO either way Sanji will find out…" said Chopper.
"That's right…" said Ko.
"Can you say that again…" said Usa with a sweat drop.
"For me too…" said Luffy.
The computer began to beep. Ko went over to it.
"Uh… oh… it's a monster attack… for the girls… that is… at the school…" said Ko.
"Looks like we should hurry there…" said Usa.
Back at the school soccer practice was well under way. Sanji scored another goal.
"All right Sanji!" cheered one of the students.
"You da man!" cheered another.
A woman showed up for practice…
"You must Ken Hata… am I right?" she asked.
"Yes I am…" said Mr. Hata.
"That's good… now give me your soul!" said the woman.
She became snake like monster. She shot out a beam from her hand and shot Mr. Hata. A green gem came from his back.
"Finally a soul gem…" said the snake like monster who ate the gem.
Most of the students ran away expect for Sanji.
"What did you do to Mr. Hata you evil snake!" he yelled.
"You want a piece of me?" yelled the snake woman.
She was about to attack him when a voice shouted "Stop right there!"
Three blurs jumped in between Sanji and the snake woman. They were of course Nami, Usa and Robin in their magical girl forms.
"So you're Princess Ko's little girls quite interesting,…" said the snake woman.
She began to whip her snake body about.
Sanji was in a happy daydream about the Magical Girl when he heard a voice.
"Hey!" said the voice.
He looked down and saw Ko.
"You're their mascot… are you going to tell me to run and leave it to them?" he asked.
"I wish…" said Ko.
She took out the 4th gem from her subspace pocket.
"Say Water Power Make-Up!" said Ko.
"Why the heck would say Water Power Make-Up?" asked Sanji.
The magical light show began, as he transformed in to the outfit, his body transformed into a girl… not any girl… his cursed form… she was smaller, she had platinum blond hair that reached just below her shoulders and of course when it ended she now wore a blue version of the other uniforms… Sanji or in this case Sanji-Chan screamed.
"I'm a girl! A girl!" she yelled.
"Geez, you don't have to yell…" said Ko… Ko on the other hand was happy… Sanji was a girl again… and it wasn't Usa's fault… it was like Christmas for her… now for even more fun…
"Just attack the snake woman…" said Ko.
"What why?" asked Sanji.
"Because its your destiny… if you don't I'll spread it around school that you're a cross-dressing Magical Girl. All three of the Magical Girls fighting the snake woman are students here…" said Ko motioning over to the three girls fighting the snake woman. "I also have allies who go here…"
Sanji-Chan heard a laugh, she turned around. Zoro was laughing hysterically, Usopp snickered at this well… just stood there cheering on the girls.
"What you three know!" yelled Sanji-Chan.
"Yeah..." laughed Zoro.
"So you either fight this monster or we'll speared though the school…" said Ko.
"Fine…" mumbled Sanji-Chan. She stomped over to the snake woman.
"This is going to be fun to watch…" said Zoro.
"I know…" said Ko.
Sanji-Chan kicked the snake woman in the chest hard…
"Ouch that had to hurt…" said Usa.
"Maybe we should finish it off…" said Robin.
"Okay…" said Usa.
"Gottcha!" said Nami.
"Flower wand!" said Robin, she waved and said "Pretty Purple Vine Restrain!"
Purple vines restrained it.
"Moon wand!" said Usa, she waved much like Robin did "Sparkly Pink Heart Beam!"
The pink hearts shaped beam hit the monster damaging it.
"You guys can handle it from here…" said Sanji-Chan.
A blue light appeared in front of her and took the form of a blue wand.
"Use it!" said Ko.
"How?" asked Sanji.
"Just use or I'll spread the rumor… you know if Zoro told Ina she'd spread though out the school…" said Ko.
"Damn it!" yelled Sanji-Chan she pointed the want at the monster and a large wave of water came out.
"Nami use your attack!" said Ko.
"Nami? Your one of them?" asked Sanji-Chan.
"You couldn't tell?" yelled the others.
Nami sweatdroped but Shrugged, "Weather wand" she said "Wonderful Orange Lighting Bolt…"
A lighting bolt came form Nami wand and the monster was discarded... the gem floated softly to the ground.
"Maybe you should place the gem by Mr. Hata…" said Sanji-Chan.
Nami did just that and it went back inside him…
Sanji passed out returning both Male and to his soccer uniform.
"We better get him to the apartment…" said Ko.
Later in Luffy and Chopper's shared room Sanji began to slowly wake up. The last thing he remembered was Dom shining a bright light. He saw Chopper looking at him.
"Chopper what happened?" asked Sanji.
"Good you remember…" said Chopper.
"Remember what?" asked Sanji.
"You're not going to believe this… or like it…" said Chopper.
In the living/dinning room Zoro was taking a nap, Usopp and Luffy were playing video games while Usa cheered them on, Nami read magazine, Robin read a book and Ko looked over the list. Then Sanji yelled "WHAT!" so loud the entire apartment building shook. This caused Zoro to wake up and everyone grab their ears with hands or paws in Ko's case.
After he ears stopped ringing Ko looked more at the list, "some of the stuff are already checked out… while others aren't interesting…" said Ko.
"What?" asked Robin.
"One of them is for the others… to move into this apartment building…" said Ko.
Next Time: It's moving day... as Nami, Sanji, Zoro and Usopp move into the same apartment building as Luffy and the others. What happens when most of the class and teachers help out... what happens when a Giant Monster attacks... All that next time!
A/N: Okay, part of Ko's dream involving Smurfs is a reverence to the fanfic One Piece: Luffy's Smurfy Adventure. There's a part in which Zoro kills Jokey Smurf and eats him resulting in him getting high...I recommend you reading it... unless you like Smurfs... it's not a Smurfs lovers fanfic...
Also I don't condone taking drugs... unless it's medical Marijuana... I'm for prescription pot... anyways, don't do drugs, don't smoke crack, do French the prince and don't Smurf Smurfs...