You guys continue to blow me away with the support for this story. Thank you so much for reading and for all of your lovely comments and to everyone who has favorited/followed the story. It means so much to me. And I hope you're not too mad at me for that cliffhanger in the last chapter. I know it was evil. Thank you again!
Chapter Four
He simply stared at her for several minutes, his eyes moving back and forth between her face and the hook that she was holding in her hand. Emma's heart was racing again as she questioned the decision she'd made now that it was already too late to take it back. She had to tell him the truth and try to make him understand that they were cursed and nothing about this life was real. She just wished she knew how to do that.
"Emma." Killian spoke her name slowly and for the first time since they'd woken up that morning, Emma heard the wariness that she was used to hearing in his voice when she frustrated him. How many times had she pushed him just to see how far she could before he snapped? But he never did. Sure, he told her harsh truths sometimes, but he didn't leave her side when she shoved at him or even when she was practically cruel to him. She wondered if that would carry over to this reality once this conversation was over.
She still didn't know where to begin so she kept quiet, waiting to see what he would say. His eyes were back on the hook and his brow furrowed and for a brief second, she hoped seeing it would be enough to trigger his memories, but his gaze met hers once more and he looked just as confused as ever. "What do you mean none of this is real?" he asked. New frustration slipped into his voice with every word. "What's not bloody real?"
"This life, this town, this," Emma said as she gestured between them with her free hand. The tears she'd tried to hold back welled up in her eyes and she quickly blinked them away. She had to make him understand. Emma thought back to when she'd first come to Storybrooke and Henry had tried to get her to believe. She wondered if his book was in the apartment. But Killian wasn't in the book and the hook certainly wasn't doing the trick so she needed to just tell him everything. "Do you trust me?"
"Aye, of course I do, but you're not making any sense, love." Killian closed some of the distance between them, hesitating for only a few seconds before he reached out and brushed the stray tears that had fallen away. "Tell me where all of this is coming from and let me help you."
Emma nodded and took a deep breath, trying to summon all the strength she had. He was probably going to think that she was insane – just like she'd thought Henry was when he'd first tried to tell her the truth about the town. "How did you lose your hand?"
The question clearly surprised him, his eyes automatically drifting to the fake hand he wore. "You know the tale. Why would you want to talk about that?"
"Do you know the tale?" Emma asked. She recalled when she'd arrived in Storybrooke and people had a hard time talking about their pasts because none of their memories had been real and everything was foggy. "How did we meet? How long have we been living together? When did you meet David? What about Robin?" She watched his face as she asked each question and she could see that he was struggling to come up with answers. "You don't know, do you?"
"Of course I know," Killian snapped and once again Emma heard more of Hook coming out in his voice. She ignored the guilt she felt for ruining the happy façade because she really believed that if Killian had a say in the matter, he would want to know the truth. They were a lot alike and if their positions were reversed, she wouldn't want him to let her continue living a lie. This time, she reached for him, placing her hand on his chest and waiting for him to meet her gaze.
"You don't know the answers because your memories are not what you think they are." Emma ran her hand over his arm and linked their fingers together, tugging him gently toward the couch. He went willingly and sat down beside her, looking more uncertain than ever. She shifted sideways so she was facing him. "This is a long story and I just need you to hear me out, okay?" He nodded and she took another deep breath and started talking.
She told him about Henry showing up on her doorstep. She told him about the book and how Henry believed everyone in town was a fairy tale character and she was the savior, the daughter of Snow White and Prince Charming. His eyes widened at that, but he let her keep talking. Emma explained that Regina was the evil queen and Mr. Gold was Rumplestiltskin, also known as the Dark One and he'd built the failsafe into the curse because he'd wanted to find his son.
"I didn't believe any of it. Why would I?" Emma asked. She wanted him to know that she'd thought it was insane the first time she'd heard the story too. She explained how Mary Margaret had befriended her and how she'd watched how she was drawn to David over and over again, even when he'd been married to someone else. She told him about her fights with Regina and how she'd threatened to sue for custody and then she explained the apple turnover and how Henry had eaten it to prove a point. Killian still wasn't saying anything as she talked about the dragon and Gold stealing the potion to bring magic back and Emma saving Henry with True Love's Kiss.
Killian rubbed his hand over his face. "So magic returned to Storybrooke and everyone was reunited." She could tell from the tone of his voice that he was skeptical and Emma couldn't blame him for that. But he was still listening so she figured that counted for something. "Was that the happily ever after?"
"Not exactly," Emma replied. "There were a lot of adjustments to be made and Gold wanted to punish Regina for hurting Belle. He unleashed this monster on her and to send it away, we opened a portal to the Enchanted Forest. I fell into it and my mother jumped in after me and we were trapped there. That's when I met you."
He raised an eyebrow. "And what was a pirate doing in an Enchanted Forest instead of sailing the seven seas? That is what you're trying to tell me, isn't it, darling? That it wasn't a coincidence that you addressed me as 'Hook' this morning." Killian pointed to the hook in her hand. "I presume that's mine?"
Emma was having a hard time reading his tone and she didn't know if he was angry or if by some small chance he actually believed what she was telling him. She had a feeling it was the first one and did her best not to let the hurt show on her face. Killian had always believed in her, even when they'd basically been strangers with their own agendas and she knew this should be the one time to cut him slack for not instantly jumping on board, but it still felt wrong that he wasn't on her side.
But this wasn't about her. This was about making him believe so she pressed forward. "Yes, it's yours. You weren't honest about your identity when we first met, but I knew you were lying so you told me your name was Killian Jones, but most people referred to you as Hook." She held it out to him.
"As in Captain Hook," he muttered, repeating what he'd said that morning in jest as he took the hook from her. Killian examined it, frowning when he noticed the attachment. He pushed his sleeve up and removed his fake hand. Emma watched as he chewed on his bottom lip for a moment and then slowly secured the hook on the brace, twisting it into place. The air was thick with tension as they both stared at the hook gleaming at the end of his arm. "Bloody hell," he muttered.
Emma rested her hand on his leg and waited for him to look at her. When he did, she could see how much he was struggling with all of this and she desperately wished there was some way to help ease his pain. Instead, she was going to have to make things even harder for him by bringing up his forgotten past. "I'm going to tell you the real story of how you lost your hand or at least the parts I know." She'd learned bits and pieces over the short amount of time they'd spent together, but it was far from the whole story. It was going to have to be enough.
She did her best to speak quickly, starting with the story David had told her about his first journey to Neverland with his brother. Emma knew that had led to him becoming a pirate and she skipped to the part about Milah and how she'd been married to Rumplestiltskin at the time. His eyes flickered to his wrist and she knew he was thinking about that tattoo beneath his sleeve. Emma briefly wondered what he'd thought the story of it was, but immediately pushed the question away. It wasn't important. She explained that the Dark One killed Milah and took his hand because he'd wanted the magic bean he possessed so he could find his son.
"But you kept it and used it to go to Neverland," Emma explained. "You were there for around three-hundred years before you made a deal with Pan so you could leave." His eyes grew wider than ever, but she kept going. "Then you were in the Enchanted Forest working with a woman named Cora. She was Regina's mother and she cast a spell to protect part of the forest from Regina's curse so you were frozen in time waiting for…"
"You," Killian supplied before she had a chance. "I was waiting for you to break the curse and free me." Emma was having trouble reading his tone again, but she nodded. A small smile played across his lips as he met her gaze once more. "That's certainly an intriguing turn of events, love. Please continue."
There was a hint of amusement in his voice and part of her wanted to be annoyed that he didn't seem to be taking this seriously, but why should he? She'd lived it and knew it sounded completely insane. She should probably be grateful that Archie was as close as Storybrooke came to having a mental health professional. At least she didn't have to worry that he'd have her carted away by the men in white coats when she was finished with the story…she hoped not anyway.
Emma told him about their adventure on the beanstalk, including the part where she'd left him there. He looked like he was going to interrupt so she pressed on, sharing the details of his new deal with Cora and how he'd stolen Aurora's heart. She made sure to add the part where he saved it from the portal and he did laugh when she explained that she'd knocked him out with the compass after he'd thought he'd won. Emma skipped over the less important details and jumped to the part where he'd arrived in Storybrooke with Cora and went after Gold by hurting Belle.
"Hold on a moment, love," Killian interrupted as she tried to tell him that she and David had stopped Gold from killing him. "So not only am I one of the villains of this peculiar tale of yours, but I shot Belle? Belle, the perfectly nice lass who I chat with about classic novels at least once a week?" he asked incredulously.
"Yes," Emma replied. He'd barely batted an eyelash when she'd talked about his misdeeds in the Enchanted Forest, but she could see that this bothered him, probably because it felt more real to someone whose memories only covered this realm. "Killian, you spent over three-hundred years looking for a way to kill Rumplestiltskin and you were desperate. It's not an excuse," she added quickly when she saw his mouth fall open. "But eventually you got past all of that and you put your revenge aside."
He didn't say anything, but she watched as his eyes drifted to the hook. The tension was radiating off of him in waves and Emma couldn't imagine what he must have been thinking, but she knew that she had to keep going. She did her best to explain Greg and Tamara, two names that she would have preferred to never speak again, and how it wasn't normal for outsiders to come to Storybrooke. For reasons she refused to think too much about, Emma decided to skip over most of the story involving Neal, only briefly mentioning his connection to Tamara before they discovered the real reason they'd been in Storybrooke.
"Regina and I managed to keep the town from blowing up, but they kidnapped Henry." The memories were still too raw to stop the emotion from seeping into her voice and Killian immediately reached for her hand, lacing their fingers together once more. Emma let out a shaky breath as she forced herself to focus. The quiet comfort that he was offering gave her the strength to push past the memories of how scared she'd been and she kept talking. "You'd left with the bean because you didn't agree with our plan, but instead of using it to save yourself, you came back."
"For you," Killian said. His hand tightened on hers and Emma nodded as she met his gaze. For the first time since she'd started this conversation, she knew he believed what she was saying, at least the part about him coming back for her.
"You took me and my parents and Regina and Gold on your ship and used the bean to get us to Neverland. It was hell and Peter Pan was the demon running the show." Emma scowled at the memory and she prayed to any and all gods out there that he was truly gone even though Gold had managed to find a way back in this new reality.
She told Killian about Neverland and how they'd had to work together to save Henry. She mentioned Neal finding his way there after a detour in the Enchanted Forest, but Emma skipped over the confessions in the echo caves and the two men fighting over her at the most inopportune times. Emma explained that Pan was actually Gold's father and Killian muttered under his breath about everyone being bloody related and she smiled in spite of everything.
"We got back to Storybrooke and Henry was acting strange. I knew something was wrong, but I didn't know what and then we discovered that Pan had managed to switch bodies with him. He planned to enact another curse, one that would take away all of our memories and let him become the leader of the town or some crazy bullshit like that. But Gold defeated him and died in the process or so we thought. And Regina was going to undo the curse and send everyone back to the Enchanted Forest except Henry and me."
Killian frowned and his hand tightened almost painfully around hers, but Emma didn't pull away. She brushed her thumb against his, trying to offer him some comfort or at the very least, a reminder that she was still there. But that was the entire point that she'd been trying to make all along. She explained that Regina had to sacrifice being with Henry to pay for casting the curse and Emma was the only one who could stay with him because she was the savior and there was no way that she would let her son grow up alone like she had.
"I watched Regina's magic take you all away and I drove over the town line with Henry. I was supposed to forget everything about this town and everyone in it, but when I woke up this morning, I was here with you and no one remembered except me and Regina. Not even Henry, which makes no sense since he was with me when I left." Emma squeezed his hand and held her breath, waiting for him to say something.
He was quiet for several minutes, but he kept holding her hand as he tapped his hook against his leg. She could see that he was lost in his thoughts, his eyes staring unseeing at the far wall. Emma didn't want to push him, but the silence was deafening and patience had never been her strong suit. She needed to know if there was any part of him that believed the story she'd just told him. "Killian, please say something."
"That tale is ludicrous, Emma." He pulled his hand away from her and stood up, not looking at her as he began to pace the room like a caged animal. She felt the tears welling in her eyes again and did her best to blink them away once more. Crying wasn't going to solve anything, but in that moment, she felt completely helpless. If Killian didn't believe her, no one else was going to and she didn't know how to do any of this without him. His presence at her side had been a comfort in Neverland and even today. As weird as all of this was, being able to count on him had made it easier for Emma to get through the day. She couldn't lose that. She couldn't lose him.
Killian stopped pacing near the bookshelf and picked up one of the pictures she'd stared at earlier. It was of the two of them and Henry sitting in the courtyard at Granny's in front of the Storybrooke sign. She watched him as he looked at their happy, carefree faces and then set the frame down and turned to her once more. "Love, you have to know that this sounds completely mad. Magic and fairy tale characters and curses and this bloody thing," he muttered as he held up the hook.
"Of course I know that!" Emma cried. "But it's the truth, Killian. Every single insane word is true." She got up as well and stalked away from him, the urge to run out the door and never look back creeping up on her once more. But that wasn't an option. She wasn't going to abandon him or Henry or anyone else. Even if Killian didn't believe her, she would find a way to end this curse and bring back everyone's memories. Emma had no idea what that solution was, but she was the goddamn savior and she would find one.
The sound of the hook clattering against the coffee table startled her and Emma turned around to see Killian putting his fake hand back into the brace. He glared at the hook for a moment and then left it where it was as he crossed the room to her. "Tell me something, love." His voice was quieter than she'd been expecting and the look in his eyes reminded Emma of the moment when he'd come over to say goodbye to her at the town line. Fresh panic welled in her chest as she wondered if he was planning on being the one to walk away this time.
"What?" she whispered. Emma hated how weak her voice sounded, but she was scared and there was no way for her to hide that no matter how much she wanted to. If he left her, she was on her own and even though it would hardly be the first time she found herself in that situation, Emma didn't think she could handle it again. Not in this new Storybrooke where everyone was happy and carefree and she'd be the one who had to ruin it just like she'd ruined things with Killian.
He took another step closer to her, but he didn't reach for her and she did her best to ignore the pang in her chest. "If all of this is true, if we're living in a make believe town and a curse has taken away everyone's memories except for yours and Regina's, why would you choose to tell me the truth? Why not Mary Margaret or David, who you say are your parents or Mr. Gold? If he has dark magic, that seems like it would be more useful to a savior than a one-handed pirate."
"You and I are a team," Emma replied. It was the most simplistic version of the truth that she could offer him. She could have kept up the ruse and just made excuses to avoid him. She was good at that, avoiding things and people that she didn't want to see. But she wanted to see Killian. She wanted him to be by her side and for him to help her through this because even though she had Regina, it wasn't enough.
She swallowed down the fear constricting her throat and met his gaze. "I need you." Her voice shook as she spoke the words, words she'd rarely, if ever, said to anyone. Emma had grown up alone and she'd told herself a long time ago that needing people made her weak and she didn't ever want to be weak again. But that was always her pride talking and the scared, lost girl inside of her. She couldn't let fear of rejection stand in her way now. There was too much at stake.
"Then you shall have me," Killian replied. This time he did reach for her, cupping her cheek in his palm as he brushed his thumb over the indent in her chin. Relief washed over her and before she could stop herself, Emma stepped forward and wrapped her arms around him and hugged him as tightly as her arms would allow. He held her for a moment, his fake hand resting at the small of her back as his other hand stroked her hair and Emma felt safer than she had in a long time.
Reluctantly, she pulled back a few minutes later because she knew they needed to stay focused on the major problem at hand. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. But this morning was so confusing and then I was just trying to figure out what everyone did or didn't remember and then dinner and…" Her voice trailed off when she saw something flash across Killian's face and it occurred to Emma that he'd never actually said that he believed her story. "Do you still think I'm making this up?"
Killian frowned. "It's not that simple, love. I believe that you believe this tale, but it's not an easy one to process in a manner of minutes. You're asking me to set aside everything that feels real to me and believe in fairy tales and curses and Neverland." He spit out the last word like it had personally offended him and Emma might have found it amusing if her heart wasn't sinking once more.
"But you said that you were on my side. How can you be if you think that I'm crazy?" Emma took a step back from him as the walls felt like they were closing in on her. Maybe getting some fresh air would help her think. She turned away, but barely made it two steps before Killian grabbed her wrist and easily spun her back around and straight into his arms.
"Bloody stubborn lass," he muttered, keeping her in his embrace like he thought she'd run away again if he loosened his grip. "Emma, I said I needed to process this. I never claimed to think you were crazy. But if I recall, you said yourself that it took time for you to believe Henry when he first came to you." Killian raised an eyebrow as if daring her to contradict him.
She nodded and tried to let go of some of the tension that was weighing her down. He wanted to believe her and she supposed that was better than nothing. It was definitely more than she'd given Henry when they'd first met. "Okay, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to jump to conclusions. I know it's a lot. Thanks for being willing to try."
Killian smiled at her and loosened his hold on her waist to cup her cheek once more. "Emma, there's nothing I wouldn't do for you, love. Don't you know that by now? This scenario of yours might be hard to fathom, but I believe in you. I've never seen you fail."
Her heart skipped a beat and she just stared at him for a moment, remembering when he'd said the same thing to her in Neverland. She couldn't blame him for needing more time to accept everything. All that mattered was that he trusted her enough to want to try. Emma managed to give him a small smile. "Thank you, Killian. I'm sorry for springing all of this on you, but it's not right to live a lie, even one that's a lot happier than reality."
The smile slipped from his face. "Surely there were some happy moments in this other world of yours. I assumed you were only sharing the bad ones to try and jog my memory. Were we not happy?"
Emma swallowed hard, not sure what to say. Of course there had been little moments of happiness scattered throughout the years she'd spent in Storybrooke, but they were few and far between and always surrounded by a new danger or curse or disaster waiting to happen. She didn't want to tell him that, but she didn't want to lie to him either. "It was complicated. We were happy after we rescued Henry. At least until we learned what Pan had done."
Killian nodded and Emma's chest ached when she saw the familiar uncertainty and sadness reflected in his eyes. "What about us?" he asked and this time Emma heard a hint of fear in his voice and she knew exactly what he wanted to know and she hated that she couldn't tell him what he wanted to hear.
"We weren't as close as we are in this version," Emma replied quietly. He looked at her like she'd slapped him, but recovered quickly, sending her a sad smile that made her want to pull out her own heart so she didn't have to feel the pain of hurting him. "I'm sorry. It's complicated."
"Aye, you stated that already." Killian took a step back and dragged his hand through his hair. "Perhaps it would be best if I remained out here this evening. Dave mentioned the couch was rather comfortable."
He wasn't meeting her gaze anymore and Emma didn't want to imagine what was probably running through his head. She reached for his hand and tugged him with her as she started down the hall toward their bedroom. "Don't be ridiculous. We both need a good night's sleep and you're not staying on the couch." While she did appreciate his instincts to be a gentleman, Emma knew they were both adults and could handle sleeping in the same bed. And if she was being honest with herself, she didn't like the idea of him not being beside her.
"As long as you're sure, love," Killian said as they walked into the bedroom. Emma just shot a glare in his direction and he laughed, the sound doing something to her heart that she decided to ignore. He excused himself to the bathroom and Emma took the opportunity to change into the first pajama set she came across and slipped into bed.
Killian returned a few minutes later. He'd stripped down to his boxers and he moved around to the other side of the bed and slipped beneath the covers, careful to keep as much space as possible between them. Emma stared up at the ceiling, hating the distance that she'd created. Even though she knew telling him the truth had been the right decision, there was a part of her that already missed the easy closeness and intimacy that they'd shared before she'd dropped this bomb in his lap. How was it possible that she always found a way to ruin everything?
"Emma."
She turned her head and saw Killian watching her with familiar concern in his eyes. He offered her a small smile and then leaned closer, pressing a kiss to the tip of her nose. "Sleep now, love. We'll talk more tomorrow."
Emma was afraid that if she said anything, she'd start crying so she just nodded. Killian shifted closer to her and she reached out, placing her hand over his on the pillow. His smile widened and he laced their fingers together before he closed his eyes. Emma watched him for a moment and then she did the same. She didn't know where they were going from here, but she trusted that he wouldn't leave her to face this alone.