Author's Note: Chapter four! And things are more or less just as confused as they were earlier!
Thanks to LifeTheNinetails for inpiration on Matt's username.
Death Note does not belong to me, or DOES it?
StrawberryDaiquiri13 signed out.
Beyond spins in his swivel chair, his feet are bare with one knee tucked into his chest. It's nearing midnight and he hasn't turned the light on yet, or bought groceries...or changed out of his stolen zoo uniform. None of that matters though. None of that matters because today was absolutely fantastic. Everything is working out so perfectly Beyond just wants to tell someone. The crazy part? Hold on for this one, it makes him laugh every time:
He's already told L! The very person that he's emulated for so long is now sitting, tortured with the thought of what Beyond might do next. L is finally the dog while Beyond holds the ball. Will he throw it? He will, eventually, but that's around phase ten.
A grin of pure, utter delight spreads across his face as he peels himself from the chair. Why would someone use drugs when this kind of euphoria exists? Sure, he could go across the street and make trail mix out of the pharmaceutical section. It would give him the same feeling a couple times a week, but the cost would be ghastly. That would rob him of his precious brain cells! Not to mention the price of those shopping sprees would rake up a hefty bill after awhile.
Shopping.
Shopping.
Oh yeah, grocery store.
Beyond makes his way to the bathroom, leaving a trail of clothing as he walks. He'll have to burn that uniform later, or put it back where he found it. It depends on how much he wants to go out of his way for Ueno Zoo. They seem pretty well off, so he might stick to...
The young man takes a deep breath. Burning. Burning. Burning. Burning. L. Burning. Burning. A. A. A. A.
Another breath.
He's good now! Post traumatic stress disorder mostly avoided!
What was he thinking about? Oh yes, he'll have to put that uniform back to where he found it. Using a flaming instrument to induce destruction could be a potential safety hazard.
Beyond finds that he is already in the bathroom, staring at the sink. He makes an easy effort not to look into the mirror. He has yet to dye his hair or buy any new make-up to look like an insomniac. The only thing he does in the cosmetic area is apply a toner to his face, neck and hands to mask all of his scars. After all, you can't pass off as a civilian when you look like something akin to Two-Face.
He had to dye his hair brown today though. He had a date with L, and he always makes sure to look his best for him. The dye wasn't permanent, but the smell made him strangely nostalgic for the past he thought he hated so much.
Standing under the shower head, the genius watches the brown dye run down his torso and into the drain. He remembers the same view when he was ten years old. A had found him meticulously coloring his blonde hair with a black permanent marker. He was sitting on his best friend's bed at the time, so it's no wonder that he found him doing it. After arguing, wrestling on the floor , and some biting on B's part, he finally relinquished the marker. A couldn't make him take a shower though. He needed the dye to dry and settle into his roots. Roger found out after A, tattle tale, went to get him, and the rest is self explanatory.
Odd, Beyond never thought he would miss ol' Roger.
"And don't you come out until you're both clean! Understand?" Roger yells into the boy's shower room. "I swear, you kids do this on purpose. If you want to spend time with me, you don't have do get called to my office to do it," his voice drifts as the door slowly closes.
Laughter erupts from two shower stalls. The boys inside them carry on with washing the paint off their arms as if it didn't give them another fifteen page apology to write.
"The common room looked a lot better before we had to clean it," Matt comments.
Mello chuckles, "Yeah, paint-filled balloons really make a room abstract."
"It's not like we hurt anyone either. Sunday's are boring, and the staff should provide us with more things to do. Or give me my Gamecube back. Either or, I'm not picky," Matt feels around the shower floor with his foot. "Uh, Mello? Throw me your soap please? I don't wanna pick mine up."
The blonde sighs and grabs the bar. His arm tenses to throw it before stopping, "What're the odds that you'll catch it?"
There's a pause before Matt's reply echoes over the water, "None?"
"Eh, I'm keeping it then."
The room grows silent again as the two of them are left to their thoughts. An idea strikes Mello, and he can't help but ask.
"Matt, are you still wearing your goggles?"
A snicker comes from Matt's stall, "Of course! It's one of my goggles' many secret abilities. I've never once gotten soap in my eyes," he boasts.
"Ew, that's kinda gross." He ventures, "Have you ever washed your eyes?"
"No, I have never once washed my eyes. That's why they have blackened with age and sin. You shall never see mine eyes, for they may turn your heart to stone-"
"Okay I get it."
"-and your first born will be conceived after you watched a really terrible movie. And-"
"Okay I'm done, Matt."
"-Your doctor will forge your signature to name her Matt's Goggles, but that's not the worst of it!"
Mello swipes the bar of soap and throws it over the wall in Matt's direction, "You can stop now!"
The bar flies past Matt's shoulders and drops to the floor, "Aw, I was just getting to the part where Near was gonna be your baby's godmother."
Mello thinks for a moment, "Who's the godfather?"
"I was thinking Roger or Wammy."
"No!" Mello interjects, "Make it L, or someone to off-set all the Near-ness."
"Nope, sorry," Matt laughs, "It's the curse of Matt's Goggles."
After the shower, the two of them return to their room. Both boys sit at their desks, but for entirely different reasons. Mello is getting a head start on the reading he'll have to do for the week, and Matt is logging in to talk to 'Pedophile Grim Reaper Man' as he's taken to calling him, or 'Pedo-gami,' combining 'shinigami' and 'pedophile,' for short.
GamRdood: What's up?
APPLE: HELLO HUMAN GIRL
GamRdood: I just took a shower. ;3
APPLE: WHAT DOES THAT MEAN YOUR SYMBOLS ARE CODES TO ME
GamRdood: They mean we're friends! lol
APPLE: I LIKE THE HUMAN GIRL TOO
APPLE: YOU LOOK LIKE A GLOWING METAL PORTAL WITH WORDS IN IT
Yeah, Matt is pretty sure this guy is a basket case, but he can be interesting to talk to. From what he can figure out, the guy has severe schizophrenia. Like, Pedo-gami is lost to the world at this point. Matt hopes his roommate, Light Bulb, or whatever calls a hospital or something. Actually, light bulbs don't have hands, so...
GamRdood: What did you do today?
APPLE: NOTHING I AM BORED
APPLE: WHAT DID HUMAN GIRL DO
GamRdood: I threw paint balloons around a room with my friend. :P
APPLE: HUMANS ARE HILARIOUS TELL ME MORE
Man, schizophrenia sounds rough. Didn't C have it or something?
GamRdood: Uh, I had to take a shower afterward, and my friend threw a bar of soap at me?
APPLE: THAT IS SO FUNNY
APPLE: LIGHT IS HOME HE IS EATING HUMAN FOOD WITH HUMAN RELATIONS
APPLE: THEY ARE FAMILY
GamRdood: I didn't know light bulbs had family! o_O
GamRdood: Tell me more shinigami-sensei!
APPLE: THERE IS A HUMAN GIRL CUB AND TWO OLD HUMANS
So Pedo-gami plays house with light bulbs? Is Matt Pedo-gami's only extension into reality? He hopes he has a roommate, this guy is weird. Or on drugs. He could be completely out of his mind from all of his LSD. That seems like a solid theory there, Matt. Good going, man.
GamRdood: That sounds pretty strange. Do all light bulbs look like people when you're high? What do lamps look like, clothes?
APPLE: I REMEMBERED WHAT I DID TODAY
GamRdood: What's that, amigo?
APPLE: I KILLED HUMANS
Matt pulls away from the screen slightly, as if the words are dangerous. Light bulbs? Did he break a light bulb today? He couldn't have...
"Mello," the red head turns his chair to look at his friend, "Come look at this for a minute."
Mello puts his hand up, telling Matt to be quiet until he finishes the page he's on. "What do you want?" He looks over, slinging an arm over the back of his chair.
"I need you to read this," Matt gestures to the screen. "I'm wondering if I need to hack Roger's computer, so I can send L an email about Pedo-gami."
The blonde's eyebrows pinch at the mention of L. Matt never talks about anything remotely related to the man. Sensing this might serious, he stands from his chair and strides across the room. Clapping a hand on Matt's shoulder, he leans over him and reads through the chat log.
Matt stares at Mello's intensely concentrated face and waits for when he's finished before asking, "What do you think?"
Mello's eyes lose all recognition, a sign that he's thinking deeply. Another moment passes before he starts blinking regularly again, though Matt didn't expect the smile on Mello's face.
"I think we should pay him a visit. Good job Matt, you solved L's case."
Thanks for reading! This chapter was a bit more serious than the last ones in my opinion, but it'll go back to funny. Funny is it's roots.
As always, tell me what you think!