After lunch was the Funny Farm's first ever Care of Magical Creatures class. Each of them silently reveled in the brisk air and springy turf as they walked across the sloping lawns and breathed in the subtle scent of Scottish heather. (Hannah sneezed.)

"It's absolutely gorgeous out today," Tanya said with an appreciative breath.

Hannah gave a little skip. "Beautiful."

Rachel did up her hair in a ponytail and slung her arms over Seamus and Dean's shoulders. "Could this day get any better?"

Seamus put his arm around her waist. "Nope."

Suddenly, Katelyn stopped in her tracks. "Oh my gosh…Shelby!"

She and the other girls took off running toward Hagrid's hut where a group of students were already gathered.

Dean glared at Seamus for no apparent reason. "Nice one, Romeo."

"What?"

"'Nope, this is a perfect day because I'm feeling up a girl!'" Dean mocked.

"I wasn't feeling her up!" Seamus said angrily. "That's an awful thing to say. She's my friend. Besides, I would never do that to anyone!"

"Even your future wife?"

"My future wife is an exception. But—that's beside the point! Where was I supposed to put my arm? Around her forehead?"

"Better that than—"

"Okay, okay, stupid discussion."

Dean gave him a look, and they went to join the girls, who were in the middle of crushing Shelby in a group hug. "We've missed you so much!" Katelyn cried.

Dean looked disgusted. "You're hugging a Slytherin."

"Shh."

"I've missed you guys, too," Shelby said with a grin. "I've wanted to tell you all something so bad."

"What?"

"Draco's my boyfriend!"

Everyone stared at her. "D…Draco…Malfoy?" Rachel asked, as if she wasn't quite sure she'd heard Shelby right.

"Well, duh."

"Er…"

"Isn't that great, guys?"

"Eh…yeah! Um, great! Wonderful!"

No one had a chance to say anything else, because Hagrid appeared and the lesson began. "C'mon, now, get a move on!" he said to them. "Got a real treat for yeh today! Great lesson comin' up! Everyone here? Right, follow me!" He led them to a sort of paddock by the forest.

"Everyone gather 'round the fence here!" he called. "That's it—make sure yeh can see—now, firs' thing yeh'll want ter do is open yer books—"

"How?" Draco Malfoy said scornfully. Shelby looked adoringly up at him.

"Eh?" said Hagrid in surprise.

"How do we open our books?" Malfoy repeated slowly.

"Hasn'—hasn' anyone been able ter open their books?" asked Hagrid tentatively.

The Funny Farm looked at their duct-taped, Spellotaped, belted, glued, Scotch-taped, and roped-shut books. They all shook their heads.

"Yeh've got ter stroke 'em," said Hagrid, taking Hermione's copy. "Look—" He stoked the book's spine, and it shuddered and fell open.

"Oh, how silly we've been!" Malfoy sneered. "We should have stroked them! Why didn't we guess?"

"I—I thought they were funny," Hagrid said tremulously.

"Oh, tremendously funny! Really witty, gibing us books that try and rip our hands off!"

"Shut up, Malfoy," Harry hissed.

"Righ', then," said Hagrid uncertainly, "so—so yeh've got yer books an'—an' now yeh need the Magical Creatures. Yeah. So I'll go an' get 'em."

He strode out of sight.

"Um…it doesn't look like he's quite got his act together, does it?" Hannah asked.

Seamus rubbed the back of his neck. "I don't know about this class."

"What the hell…" Dean said, pointing.

Into the paddock came a dozen or more of the coolest creatures the Funny Farm had ever seen! They had the back half of a horse, but the front end (wings included) looked like giant eagles.

"Sweet," Rachel said under her breath.

"Gee up there," Hagrid bellowed, shaking the creatures' leashes. "Hippogriffs!" he said as he tethered them to a post. "Beau'iful, aren' they? So, if yeh wan' ter come a bit nearer…

"Now, firs' thing yeh gotta know abou' hippogriffs is, they're proud. Easily offended, hippogriffs are. Don't never insult one, 'cause it might just be the last thing yeh do. Yeh always wait fer the hippogriff ter make the firs' move."

"Kind of like girls," Seamus said in a loud whisper, much to the amusement of those in earshot.

"It's polite, see?" Hagrid continued, oblivious. "Yeh walk toward him, and yeh bow, an' yeh wait. If he bows, yeh're allowed ter touch him. If he doesn't bow, then get away from him sharpish, 'cause those talons hurt."

Soon they were all bowing to their own hippogriffs. Seamus and Dean shared a red roan, Hannah and Katelyn an inky black one, and Rachel and Tanya a stormy grey one. "These are so cool!" Rachel said as she stroked her hippogriff's neck, her face glowing. Tanya, however, watched apprehensively from a safe distance away.

Suddenly, there was a high-pitched scream. Everyone whirled about as none other than Draco Malfoy tumbled to the ground, blood seeping out onto the grass from a gash on his arm. "I'm dying!" he screeched. "I'm dying, look at me! It's killed me!"

Hagrid looked about to faint himself. "Yer not dyin'! Someone help me—gotta get him outta here—" And he scooped Malfoy up and ran to the castle.

Rachel, who looked suddenly very white, stepped hastily away from her hippogriff into the relative safety of her friends. "Nice hippogriff, nice hippogriff…"

"I'm going back to the castle," Dean said nervously.

"Right behind you," everyone echoed.

--------------------------

"Good afternoon," Professor Lupin said briskly, stepping smartly up to the front of the classroom.

"Good afternoon," they chorused back. Seventeen pairs of eyes then fixated themselves unwaveringly on the teacher, watching him expectantly.

"Would you please put all your books back in your bags?" Lupin asked. "Today's will be a practical lesson. You will need only your wands."

So they did so, trading excited looks with each other. It had been a good while since they'd had an acceptable practical lesson—in this class, anyway.

"Right then," said Lupin. "If you'll follow me…"

He led the class to the teachers' staffroom and ushered them inside toward a large, old wardrobe—which jumped alarmingly as Lupin went to stand beside it.

"I don't think that's Aslan in there," Katelyn whispered uneasily.

"Nothing to worry about," Professor Lupin said calmly, looking at Katelyn in particular. "There's a boggart in there."

Rachel bit her lip and Seamus eyed the rattling doorknob with uncharacteristic apprehension.

"Boggarts like dark, enclosed spaces," Lupin continued. "Wardrobes, the gab between beds, the cupboards under sinks—I've even met one that had lodged itself in a grandfather clock. This one moved in yesterday afternoon, and I asked the headmaster if the staff would leave it to give my third years some practice….

"On the count of three, Neville," said Lupin, pointing his wand at the doorknob. "One—two—three—now!"

And so they all had a crack at the boggart. Seamus was the first of the Funny Farm to go; he darted forward and the boggart—crack!—turned into a banshee. She opened her mouth and wailed mournfully. Seamus paled—

"Riddikulus!"

Rachel stepped forward after him. Crack! The banshee was replaced by a huge, snarling wolf that advanced upon Rachel with saliva dripping from its open mouth.

She paled like Seamus, but instead of saying the spell, she screamed and lurched backwards into the safety of her classmates; Seamus and Dean grabbed her arms and pushed her back toward the wolf.

"R—riddikulus!"

The wolf suddenly made a choking sound and smacked its mouth together. "It's got a hairball!" Dean shouted with glee.

Katelyn was next. Crack! The wolf changed into a clown—a sinister-looking clown with a bloody butcher knife in one hand and what looked like a severed head in the other. "Riddikulus!" The clown changed into a can-can-dancing and corset-wearing line of professors, sans Professor Lupin, of course.

As Katelyn walked back to the Funny Farm, Rachel gave her the look. "I don't know whether to laugh or be deeply disturbed," the brunette said, and Katelyn grinned wickedly.

Tanya was next; she stepped forward. Crack! The boggart changed into a big black bear. Almost indifferently, Tanya flicked her wand and the boggart—crack!—changed into a fuzzy teddy bear.

Seamus and Dean stared at her in amazement. "Are you allowed to do that?"

"Do what?"

"Be so damn perfect! Ow!.." Seamus rubbed his arm where both Rachel and Hannah had punched him.

"No swearing, Seamus. Say you're sorry."

"Sorry…"

"Good boy."