Previously, on Anonymius productions:
Clock: GIVE ME YOUR CHEAPEST, STRONGEST, LARGEST DRINK!
Fullmetal Alchemist Manga: So what brings you down here?
Clock: I GOT THE SACK. AFTER LOYALLY SERVING ANONYMIUS PRODUCTIONS FOR MONTHS, HOW AM I REPAID FOR MY HARD WORK? BY BEING TOLD "SORRY, WE DON'T WANT YOU ANYMORE"!
Fullmetal Alchemist Comic: You know my series was supposed to be continued! Then he told the readers just wait for a month, we'll be right back! And do you know how long it's been? SEVEN MONTHS!
Clock: OUCH.
"I HEAR THAT ANONYMIUS HAS BEEN GIVING YOU PROBLEMS. I SYMPATHISE."
"Who are you?"
"YOU CAN CALL ME BIOS. I HAVE HEARD HOW ANONYMIUS HAS TREATED YOU. JOIN ME, AND TOGETHER, WE SHALL OVERTHROW ANONYMIUS AND TAKE OVER ANONYMIUS PRODUCTIONS! COME WITH ME, AND FULFIL YOUR WILDEST DREAMS."
"BRETHREN! WE HAVE GATHERED HERE TO WELCOME OUR NEWEST MEMBERS! CLOCK, FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST COMIC, STEP FORWARD!"
The Clock and Manga do so.
"NOW THEN," Bios raises his fingers,
He touches them. Black electrical energy runs through their bodies. They transform.
"ARISE, CYBER-CLOCKWORK!"
The Clock gets up, having transformed into a large armed robot.
"SOON, ANONYMIUS' TIME WILL BE UP!" He announced.
"-AND PAPER DEMON!"
The Fullmetal alchemist comic gets up, having been transformed into a demonic looking creature made of paper.
"I shall PAPER-CUT Anonymius all over!" He announced.
"UNFORTUNATELY A SIDE EFFECT OF THIS IS THAT THE RECEIVER TENDS TO MAKE REALLY BAD PUNS ALL THE TIME."
Commentator: Goods news, everyone! After a very long absence, Anonymius has decided to continue 'FMA Abridged (With Commentary)'!
Professor: But Sir, don't we need the talking Fullmetal Alchemist Manga before we can start?
Commentator: Hmm. You may have a point. Hey Sam!
Sammy: Yeah, Boss?
Commentator: I need you to go down to the pub and fetch the Fullmetal Alchemist Manga! He'll be happy to know that he's needed again!
Sammy: Righto, Boss!
(Slivers away)
Sammy: Good evening, my good sir! I am looking for a comic book. A 'Fullmetal Alchemist' comic book!
Barman: Oh him! Yeah. I remember him. I haven't seen him in almost a year! Not since this giant clock guy was in here. Then they were talking about how this Anonymius guy screwed them over and an ItouchedYusuke this tall shadowy figure came gliding in and tempted them with power and revenge. I haven't seen either of them since.
Sammy: Boss! I bring terrible news! Your son has been kidnapped!
Commentator: This is an outrage! Nobody steals my son and gets away with it! Come everyone! We've got to save my son!
Teneko and Brainiac: Boss! Boss!
Commentator: Oh what is it you two?
Teneko and Brainiac: Someone broke into your vault!
(The security tapes show a robot with a clock on his front, a living origami demon and an disembodied voice entering the vault and stealing a small device on a shelf)
Commentator: That's twice he's stolen from me! Come on, let's put an end to him, and get back what he took from me!
"Master, we have brought you the Puninator," Said Paper-Demon, offering the device to his master.
"EXCELLENT. YOU HAVE DONE WELL, YOU THREE."
Bios took the device from Paper-Demon.
"AND NOW-"
He held up the Puninator.
"-LET'S SEE IF IT DOES WHAT WAS PROMISED."
Bios clicked a button on the side.
"NOW THEN, SAY SOMETHING."
The trio of minions were at first silent.
"WHAT? LOST FOR WORDS?"
The two looked as if they were struggling to say something.
"- LOOKS like it has worked, Sir," Answered the Sound.
"The t-t-t era of our pun making has come to an end," Replied cyber-clockwork.
"I shall no longer be able to p-p- hurt people to do with- you know- that stuff that comes from trees."
" YES! YES! A SUCCESS! MWAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
And now, on Fullmetal Alchemist Abridged (With Commentary):
Inside a dark throne room, Bios and his minions were just lazing around.
"Boss, I'm bored!" Complained leatherwing the bat, "When are we actually going to do something?"
"PATIENCE, MY LITTLE BAT," Bios replied.
"Patience? WE'VE BEEN PATIENT FOR YEARS AND -"
"YOU DARE LOSE YOUR TEMPER WITH ME?"
"I only meant Boss is when we will get into taking over Anonymius Productions?"
"SOON, WHEN THE TIME IS RIGHT."
"But you've been saying that for the past five years!"
"Here here!" The other minions joined in.
"SILENCE! DO YOU MISTAKE ME FOR THE COMMENTATOR WHO TOLERATES UNSUBORDINATION FOR HIS SUBORDINATES? SOON THE TIME WILL COME, AND WHEN THE TIME IS RIGHT, THEN I SHALL MY ATTACK, AND START MY PLANS TO TAKE OVER ANONYMIUS PRODUCTIONS, AND RULE ALL OF FANFICTIONDOTNET! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-"
(One of the walls explode)
"WHAT THE?"
(The Commentator, Professor and Sammy enter)
Commentator: AHA! FINALLY!
"WELL WELL, COMMENTATOR, WE MEET AGAIN. WHAT THE HELL TOOK YOU SO LONG, IT'S BEEN LIKE FIVE YEARS!"
Commentator: Anonymius got a long term job.
"OHHHHHHHHHHHH. THAT EXPLAINS IT. WAIT A MINUTE!"
He pointed at the Commentator.
"WHY HAVEN'T YOU BEEN CORRUPTED LIKE THE OTHERS?"
Commentator: Because I drew a squirrel!
"-WHAT?"
Commentator: Ahem, sorry, outdated reference. It's because I can't be affected by your ability to change those in script format to prose! Now then - wait a minute, Prof, why are we here again? It's been so long that I can't remember why we're here in the first place!
Professor: I believe we're here to collect something that Bios' minions stole from us?
Commentator: Weren't we here to collect the Clock too?
"-WHAT?" Asked Cyber-Clockwork.
Professor: Apparently not, Sir.
Commentator: Oh.
"AWWWW."
Professor: Also we're here to save the Fullmetal Alchemist Manga.
"-Huh?" Asked Paper-Demon.
Commentator: A fullmetal alchemist manga comic book? Why are we after that?
Professor: Don't you remember, Sir? It was a recurring character in FMA Abridged With Commentary that you put a bit of your brain in?
Commentator: Oh right! that. Well anyway, Bios, give me back the Fullmetal Alchemist Manga and whatever else you've stolen from me and we'll leave quietly!
"I THINK NOT. THE MANGA IS MINE. IT WAS DEPRESSED OVER HOW ANONYMIUS ESSENTIALLY STOPPED FMA ABRIDGED AND SO I WAS ABLE TO FILL THAT DEPRESSION WITH HATRED. AND WITH THE POWER OF THE PUNINATOR, I WILL DESTROY YOU! MINIONS! ATTACK!"
"Yes, Sir!" His minions replied, advancing on them.
"It, um seems like you will be defeated!" The Sound told them.
"THE T- YOU WILL BE DEFEATED!" Cyber-Clockwork told them.
"I will p- hurt your all over!" Paper-Demon Threatened.
Commentator: Prof, if you would do the honours?
Professor: Gladly, Sir.
(The Professor walked forwards, and the hook on his right stump extended into a sword)
"Wait a minute! You have a morphing hook? Since when have you had that?" Paper-Demon demanded to knw.
Professor: Oh for a long time now, it just wasn't mentioned before.
(The Professor slashes the minions, knocking them down).
"NO! HOW COULD YOU HAVE BEEN SO EASILY DEFEATED?"
"We're sorry, Boss," The Sound apologised, "But it's as if our power has been drained."
"DRAINED? BY WHAT-"
Bios looked down at the puninator in his hands.
"OH NO, WHAT HAVE I DONE? BY PREVENTING YOU FROM MAKING ANY PUNS, I STRIPPED YOU ALL OF YOUR ESSENCE!"
"Don't worry, Boss! I'll stop them!"
Leatherwing flew at the commentators.
Sammy: Don't worry, Boss. I'll defend you!
(Sammy slivered in front of the bat, which flew to the ground.
"You think you have a chance against me?"
Sammy: You bet I do!
Leatherwing smiled.
"You do know that bats eat slugs, don't you?"
Sammy: Do you?
"I assumed so," The bat shrugged.
Sammy: Well what's you point?
"This."
Sammy: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
(Sammy screamed as Leatherwing carried him away)
Professor: Oh no! Bios' lackey got our lackey!
Commentator: Oh well, first casualty of the war, I suppose.
"I'VE BEEN WAITING A LONG TIME FOR THIS, COMMENTATOR. A REALLY, REALLY LONG TIME. LIKE-"
Commentator: Yes, yes, we all know it's taken Anonymius forever to finally get around writing this, ON WITH THE FIGHT!
(Leaps into the air, creates a huge ball of electricity and throws it at Bios, who just slaps it away with his hand. It explodes on impact.
"PLEASE."
Creating his own black lightning ball, Bios shoots this at the Commentator.
Commentator: Oh please, Bi, I absorb electricity! As if you're actually gonna hurt me with that -
The ball knocks into him, sending him flying.
Commentator: WHAT THE HEY! I'M SUPPOSED TO BE ABLE TO ABSORB ELECTRICITY!
The lightning ball knocks him into a wall as it explodes.
"I THINK YOU'LL FIND THAT MY ELECTRICAL POWER IS, SHALL WE SAY, INDIGESTIBLE."
(As the smoke clears, the Commentator leaps at Bios in the blink of an eye. He tries punching him with rapid electrical fists, but Bios manages to block every one of them. He even tries kicking him, but Bios blocks these with the back of both hands, before wrapping the Commentator in the tentacle-like ends of his cloak. The Commentator manages to break free from these, and an electrical blade extends from his staff as he spins it in the air. Bios sends more of his tentacles at the Commentator, who slices them away with his staff before slashing at Bios, who again manages to block every attack before knocking him away. Bios then flies towards him, sword-like fingers raised. He slashes at him, but the Commentator manages to block every blow. Soon the battle takes outside as Leatherwing falls to the ground, battered, with Sammy landing on top of him)
Professor: Sam? You defeated your possible predator on the food chain? How did you survive?
Sammy: Oh Prof, it was an epic battle! The greatest conflict ever seen! You see -
(As Sammy explains his tale, The Commentator and Bios continued to fight in the air, crashing into each other in a blink of an eye. The Commentator had brought down his weapon while Bios blocked it between his fingers.
Commentator: You're just a shadow, Bios! A shadow of me!
"WRONG, COM. I AM YOUR EVOLUTION, YOUR SUPERIOR. I AM EVERYTHING YOU WANT TO BE!"
Bios manages to break the blade. Zooming away, the Commentator shoots lightning at Bios, who brings up an electrical shield before bringing it down and shooting his own lightning, which the Commentator manages to block using his own shield. Soon both were shooting lightning at each other, their blasts meeting in the middle.
"WHY ELSE HAVE YOU TRIED SO HARD IN CONCEALING BOTH YOUR REAL NAME AND APPEARANCE? IT'S BECAUSE YOU ARE ASHAMED OF YOUR TRUE IDENTITY, ASHAMED OF WHAT YOU'RE CALLED AND WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE, AREN'T YOU WACKO?"
Commentator: EEEE!
Distracted by this, the Commentator is hit by Bios' lightning, sending him flying into the ground. Bios floats down to meet him. The Commentator walked out of the smoke.
Commentator: Y-you just told, whoever was reading this, MY REAL NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAME!
(As he roars, electrical power emanates from him. Even Bios is looking terrified.)
"OH MY - IT'S OVER NINE THOUSAND! HUH, MAYBE REVEALING YOUR REAL NAME WASN'T THE BEST APPROACH."
Leatherwing perches himself on his shoulder.
"Heh, it could be worse, Boss. You could have revealed that the Commentator is an **************************.
Commentator: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
(Even more outraged that his appearance was revealed, the energy starts pushing Bios away.)
"NO! NO!"
(Bios tried to shield himself, but it was no good.)
"I REFUSE TO BE BEATEN BY A -"
(The blast sends him flying away.)
"LOOKS LIKE BIOS IS BLASTING OFF AGAAAAAAAAAAIN!"
(He disappears into the sky with a twinkle.
As the energy dissipates, the Professor and Sammy come to join the Commentator.)
Sammy: Wow! Way to go, Boss! You showed that Bios who was the superior! I guess now that it's out in the open we can call you again W-
Commentator: DON'T YOU EVER USE THAT NAME AGAIN! I never want it to be typed EVER again!
Sammy: But - But Boss! It's your name!
Commentator: No it isn't! My name is the Commentator! I refuse to ever be known by THAT ever again! And Anon, how could you? How could you expose my name?
I'm sorry, Com, but you did know this was going to happen.
Commentator: I so did not!
Really? Didn't I explain to you already that the sooner I got this up, the sooner your name would be revealed? Or was that Pokemon: The Shadow of the Dictator? In any case you refused to do anymore review responses in 'Frozen: What Could Have Happened' that went over the limit until we got the clock back, so you knew this would happen and it's your own fault. Besides at least I didn't reveal your appearance.
Commentator: All right, fine! But mark my words, I will have my vengeance, Anonymius, or should I call you -
"WAIT, HOLD ON, WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT WANTING THE CLOCK BACK?" Cyber-Clockwork asked.
Commentator: Huh? Oh yeah, I heard a rumour that this clock that was discarded ended up in Bios' hands and I wanted it back for this review response we're doing and -
"WAIT, SERIOUSLY? YOU WANT ME BACK?"
Commentator: WAIT A MINUTE! CLOCK! Is that you? Wow you've seemed to have gotten - bigger. So yeah, we need you back. The Professor's not so good a substitute! Plus I don't know how many more shocks he can take from me!
Professor: Thank you, Sir.
"I-I'M NEEDED BACK? HOORAY!"
Clock: OKAY, I'M IN! WHAT ABRIDGED COMMENTARY IS THIS FOR?
Commentator: Actually it's for a Frozen AU fanfic.
Clock: - WHAT'S 'FROZEN'?
Commentator: - What's - Oh yes, that's right, you've been cooped up here for the past five years. Wow, you've missed alot!
"And what was that about looking for the manga?" Paper-Demon asked.
"Huh? Oh right, that. Well you see, we tried to get a hold of the FMA Manga about five years ago to let him know that FMA Abridged was being restarted but it wasn't at the pub so we hunted down some Dementors then found out it was being kept by Bios so we've been trying to go there ever since.
"WAIT A MINUTE! Are you seriously trying to tell me that instead of continuing with FMA abridged I've just been laying about here for the past five years?"
(The Commentator jaw drops)
Commentator: FMA MANGA? IS THAT YOU? So yeah, we need you back.
"So does that mean that Anonymius will still be doing the FMA Abridged Commenatary?"
"Ehhh, probably."
FMA Manga: Good enough for me!
"And so, will you also be needing me back as well?"
Commentator: - Who the heck are you?
"I'm the Sound. But before I was known as the BOM BOM BOM CH noise."
"Oh right, so you are! Yeah, um, the thing is, the BA DUM CH is doing such a good job that -"
"You haven't seen the last of me, Commentator! I'll be back, and soon, Bios will be the end of you! HE WILL BE YOUR END!"
The Sound disappears.
Commentator: Okay, now that we've FINALLY got that all out of the way, it's time to return to 'Frozen: What Could Have Happened'!
FMA Manga: I can't wait to see the Full Baskets Manga again!
Commentator: The what now?
FMA Manga: You remember, Pops! That other talking manga that one of our reviewers adopted!
Commentator: - Er, yeah, about that...