Chapter 4
Disclaimer: I do not own Mass Effect or any of its characters. Those belong to Bioware and EA. Any movies or music I reference belong to their rightful owners.
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Mordin walked beside Shepard as they made their way through the different corridors of the Citadel. He glanced behind him to see Grunt and Garrus following.
"So doc enlighten me as to these unknown variables." Shepard said without looking at the Salarian.
"Well... You've already seen some symptom's. There may be others such as irrational behavior. Violent Outbursts. Many other symptom's still imputing data... Check back later!" Was all Mordin said.
Shepard was about to ask him another question when something collided with him causing him to hit the ground hard. He looked up to see a very exhausted looking Ashley staring at him. "Skipper?" She said.
She got up and he got to his feet. "Jeez Skipper I barely made it out alive... what the hell was their problem anyway.. Why were they trying to kill me?" Ashley asked.
"Pregnant females tend to be territorial when it regards their mate!" Mordin quipped.
Shepard backhanded him in the head but it was to late as Ashley rounded on Shepard. "PLEASE... EXPLAIN TO ME WHAT HE JUST SAID!" She yelled.
Mordin got to his feet and looked at a very nervous Shepard "Um... I accidentally ingested some kind of Krogan Drug and before I was given a cure I kind of had sex with 6 women.. though only 5 got pregnant. So that's a plus right? Oh and I have to Marry five of said women... apparently its Citadel law now or something." He said with a small laugh.
Ashley screamed and punched Shepard in the head causing him to hit the ground hard. "What the fuck Shepard... I can understand 4 of the women but how the hell did you knock up your best friend Tali?.. she's not even compatible with your DNA" Ashley said staring down at Shepard who was busy holding his nose.
He pointed at Mordin "HE DID IT!"
Her gaze whirled to Mordin who started smiling nervously but before she could lash out at the frightened doctor Garrus popped in "Um... were are the women of the hour as you might say?"
Ashley stopped and shrugged her shoulders. "Oh Boy this isn't good" Shepard said.
"Hey Shepard she's a feisty one... Can I mate with her?" Grunt asked looking at Ashley whose face turned to horror.
*********************Kelly and Samara*************
They finally stopped out of breath. Somewhere along the line they all got separated from everyone else. .
"Damn that woman is fast!" Kelly exclaimed inhaling at the same time.
Samara nodded she was too old for this.
Kelly's stomach growled and Samara's soon followed.
"I'm hungry... moma's gotta eat" Kelly said "Agreed" Samara replied.
Kelly started searching her pockets but then she realized that C-Sec had confiscated their chits when they brought them in. "Damnit!" She cursed.
"It appears we do not have any money!" Samara said. "Duh!" Kelly replied.
"What shall we do for food?" Samara asked.
Kelly was about to reply when she noticed something. Suddenly her face turned into a huge grin.. "Samara... I've got our meal ticket!" She said.
Samara turned to look at what she was staring at and her eyes widened. 'she could not be serious'
Samara was staring at a gentleman's club. "Come on!" Kelly said grabbing the elder Asari's hand and proceeded to drag her to the door.
"What do you want us to do?" Samara asked. "Just follow my lead... I've got experience in this kind of thing" Kelly said.
*****************Jack***************
'When I catch that bitch I'll going to flay her alive. How dare she touch my mate!'
"What the fuck!" She said out loud causing several people passing by to give her worried looks.
She then noticed that everyone else was gone. "God Damnit Where the hell did everyone go?"
She growled and made her way through the crowds. Soon she came to an Alleyway and stepped into it. It was narrow as she made her way threw it. Soon she came to the end that opened into what looked like a small warehouse of some sort. They're were about 8 men standing in the center with a 9th person talking to them form a podium.
"Brothers.. We will crush the Eclipses and Blue Suns. We will..." He was cut off as Jack came into the room.
"What the hell is this?" She asked.
"We are the Black Suns!... We Will..." Jack cut him off again. "Your some kinda of small gang really.. And the Black Suns is all you could thank of for a name!" She asked.
"We are not small We have reserves for the weekends... it may only be 3 more people but still we are not small and I have you know the Black Suns sounds rather catchy!" he said smiling.
"So... your the leader?" She asked.
"Well yes why do you ask?" He replied.
She smiled and suddenly he was lifted up in the air. His subjects stood there terrified at the crazy bald woman. "You've officially resigned." She said before flinging him against a wall with her Biotic's.
She made her way over to the Podium and stepped up to it. "So anyone objects to your new lord and master?" She asked.
Everyone shook their head "Good... Were going to have some fun.. Jack's style!" She said smiling
'Shepard was going to kill her'.. 'god damnit why can't I get his ass out of my head'
Her subjects stared at her slightly puzzled.
She glared at them and they froze "First order of Business... I want 40 pizza's from the nearest Pizza place NOW!" She screamed everyone bolted in different directions some colliding and knocking themselves out.
Jack grabbed her head and groaned. "Idiots" She muttered.
*******************Kasumi and Tali***************
They came to a stop outside a building. They collapsed into a heap and sat there watching the people walk by giving them strange looks.
"I give up... besides running's not good for the baby!" Tali said rubbing her stomach.
Kasumi simply nodded. "Well We've got another issue" She said turning to Tali.
Tali looked at her "What do you mean?" She asked.
"Well C-Sec's got our chits. So we have no money and I'm hungry!" She exclaimed. Tali noticed the Thief shifting her feet a little. Now that Kasumi had said it she felt hungry too.
"So what are we going to do?" Tali asked. Kasumi sat in thought when she sat up quickly. "I've got an idea" She said looking up. Tali followed her gaze and gasped when she read the name of the store.
Fornax Publications. It read.
"Oh Keelah!" Tali exclaimed. "You can't be serious!"
"Oh come on we both have hoods... we both have figures to die for. You've got your hips and figure and so do I." Kasumi Said smiling. "Besides they have sterile rooms for Quarians!" She said.
Tali glanced at her than at the building. "Come on Tali... Shepard will never know that its you!" Kasumi urged again.
Kasumi watched her friend who was shaking visually finally she sighed "Tali it's ok.. I'll do it for both of us." She said getting up.
Tali grabbed her hand "No... I'll.. do it" she said.
Kasumi raised an eyebrow "Really?"
"Yes. Now come on before I change my mind!" Tali said grabbing Kasumi and heading into the building.
*******************Miranda*****************
Miranda stopped as the other five women passed her. Why the hell was she chasing Ashley... She shook her head and looked around. She was standing outside various shops. She was in some sleezy part of the wards. She came to a stop in front of a particular store.
"John's Adult Toys and Entertainment! Now casting looking for new model." She muttered reading the sign.
A smile crept across her face as she headed towards the door.
************Some time later*******************
After reassuring Ashley that Grunt was just joking which he had quickly replied that he wasn't causing Ashley to pull out her assault rifle he had to quickly defuse the situation.
They were now looking for five crazed pregnant women.
"So Ashley you still got that chip on your shoulder?" Garrus asked.
She looked over her shoulder at him "You still got that stick up your ass?" She replied with a smirk causing the Turian to chuckle.
"Eh... not quite." He said smiling.
Suddenly Shepard came to a sudden halt as eight mercs marched past carrying about 40 pizzas in a solid line.
As the mercs disappeared around the corner Garrus turned to Shepard "That's something you don't see everyday." The Turian said.
"Indeed" Shepard replied and they continued on their merry way.
Soon Shepard stopped again "What the HELL?" Shepard exclaimed causing everyone in the party to turn their heads to see what he was looking at.
Garrus burst out laughing as did Grunt while Ashley made a face as they saw a huge sign that said.
"Come see the Asari Justicar and the Amazing nimble Kelly. Come now for your viewing pleasure!" The sign repeated over and over.
They made their way into the club. They heard a voice come over the loud speaker as they took their seats at one of the tables. They saw a man walk out onto the stage.
"Ladies and Gents are you ready to be amazed by the Dazzling Kelly! And the Mysterious Justicar Samara... Let's give it up for Them!" He cried throwing his hand towards the stage.
Suddenly the lights went down and music started to pound the club as Kelly and Samara came on stage and started dancing.
Shepard was surprised no so much at Kelly but that Samara would agree to this.
Both were clad in skimpy outfits that just barely hid anything.
"Um... Shepard" He turned his head to look at Garrus. "Do you think you could... um.. ya know!" Shepard sighed and handed Garrus a chit and before Grunt could open his mouth he handed him one also.
"Come on Grunt.. I see a few Asari over there lets see if we can get ourselves a private dance" The Turian said grinning "Hell Yeah!" Grunt said and they disappeared into the club.
"Interesting... Have flexibility similar to Salarians." Mordin chimed in.
Shepard sighed and turned to Ashley. "So... you wanna give it a shot also?" He asked smirking.
She growled and he shut up and turned his head back to the stage.
He had thought saving the Galaxy would be an impossible task... now he believed that trying to take care of five pregnant, crazed, and just plain nuts women was probably going to be the death of him.. well his second death actually.
A/N: Thanks everyone next chapter will be up soon thanks :D
