XTheCherryOnTopX does not own Naruto, or the game "Dress Up Yoda".

The picture starts in Sasuke's room. Sasuke is sitting at his desk, humming. The camera zooms up on his computer to reveal the game "Dress Up Yoda". Sasuke dresses Yoda up in a Ninja face cover, a gold chain with the $ dollar bill sign, a gun in one hand, a pack of cigarettes in the other, a green t shirt with a marijuana leaf on it, white boxers with red hearts, pink bunny slippers, and a purple wizard hat on his head. Sasuke is snickering softly. He randomly glances behind him, takes a second glance, and shoots up out of his chair. "That camera better not be on!" he says menacingly.

"What if it is?(snickers) Sasuke, I didn't know you liked to play dressup."

"Shut up. The world doesn't need to know this. Now get lost."

"No, we have to show everyone that cute website."

"Oh yeah, the one with the a-fucking-dorable stories. The website's called Fanfiction. net. It has stories about us ninja, so we decided to check it out."

"Therefore, we are commencing Sasuto Production #19. (high five's Sasuke) Dude, click on a story."

"Hn."

"Click, prick! Hey, that rhymed. Damn, Im cool!"

"Hn."

"Are you gonna click or what?"

"Hn."

"Dammit! I hate it when you go all Uchiha on me!"

"Wanna know something, dobe? Im kind of Uchiha."

"Go flush your head. Read what that says."

"Ok.(Naruto zooms up on computer) The story is called "The Naruto Fandom Guide". What the hell is that?"

"I dunno. Clickie!" (Sasuke clicks, and Naruto reads)-

First of all, all Naruto fanfic writers should understand pairing dynamics. In the Naruto fandom, there is a group known as the "Four Golden Pairings" which mainly consist of Naruhina, Sasusaku, Nejiten, and Shikaino. Often, Shikaino is replaced with Shikatema and Saino, or Chouino. Also, pairings that are canon, such as Asukurenai, should be respected. However, straight pairings are not only popular. There are pairings such as KakaIruka, Shikaneji, and Gaaralee. These are some good yaoi pairings. However, the greatest pairing we fanfic writers have been blessed with is SasuNaru-

"Sasunaru?!? Go back, go back!" Naruto screams. Sasuke clicks the back button, and theyre back to the normal page. Sasuke looks at the camera "If any one of you fuckers watching this is a sasunaru fan, Im going to find you, and kill you, slowly and painfully."

Naruto pokes him. "Cmon, new story!"

"Ok, ok. Don't get all shitty. (Sasuke reads a new title) This one's called "Heart's Desire" let us read!" (clicks and reads)-

Sasuke, you broke my heart." Sakura sobbed into Sasuke's shirt. Said boy gently cupped her face. "I know. And I don't think you should forgive me. But, I need you, Sakura. So much." he whispered gently into her ear. Sakura shivered as-

"Fuck it, man!" Sasuke screams, and clicks the back button. "People either put me with pinky, blondie, Karin-whore, or you! Why can't I have any normal pairings?!"

"Aww, cmon! It was getting to the best part!"

"Fuck you, man. Go jump in a cement mixer."

"No, thanks. That sounds rather unpleasant. (Tries to take mouse from Sasuke) C'mon dude, gimme the mouse."

"No. Fuck off."

Naruto grabs the wire of the mouse, and Sasuke holds the mouse in his hand. They play tug of war, until Naruto gets it.

"Haha."

"Give me the mouse, Naruto." Sasuke demands.

"No." Naruto says.

Sasuke stands up immediately. "What did you say?"

"I said no. You'lle probably try to choke me with it, or hit me on the head with it, or impale me with it."

"Don't tell me what im gonna do. I know what im gonna do. Now, give me the FUCKING MOUSE!"

Naruto doesn't let go of the mouse, so Sasuke rolls the chair over his foot. Naruto howls, dropping the camera, but Sasuke quickly catches it and puts it on the table. Then, he pins Naruto to the floor, sits on him, and shoves the mouse in Naruto's mouth so he's half choking.

WHEN I SAY GIMME THE MOUSE, IT MEANS GIMME THE FUCKING MOUSE!" Sasuke screams, then gets off Naruto, but not before taking the mouse.

"Oh god, its got your shit all over it. (wipes mouse on Naruto's hair) Better."

Naruto stands up slowly, holding his head. "Sasuke, you asshole. Damn, I think you broke my chin."

"Suck it up, Naruters. No one really cares, anyways."

"Shut up, dickhead. Hey, click on the author of the fanfiction. (Sasuke clicks, Naruto reads bio of the author)

XxSanninCherryBlossomxX: 1 fiction

Hi! Im Sakura Haruno. I love pink, cotton candy, and helping people. I live in Konoha, and im a medic ninja! Im Tsunade-sama's apprentice. Someday, I want to be just like her! In my spare time, I either hang out with my girlfriends, work at the hospital, go on missions, or train. Im from the original team 7. Along with me, are Sasuke and Naruto. Sasuke's really hot. I wanna help him revive his clan. My favorite song-

Naruto stops reading, because he's laughing too hard. He zooms up on Sasuke's face, which is frozen in fear and shock. He suddenly snaps back into reality.

"Shut up, bitch! (smacks Naruto) That pink haired slut! Im going to send her into next week!"(jumps off chair and leaves the room)

"...Later!" Sasuke says as he comes back into the room, and sits on his chair. He clicks review for "Heart's Desire".

Dear Sakura,

YOU STUPID, DITZY, FUGLY, PINK HAIRED BIMBO. WHEN I FIND YOU, IM GOING TO WRING YOUR SKINNY LITTLE NECK. WHAT, DID YOU THINK I WOULDN'T FIND THIS? IM SASUKE UCHIHA, FOR KAMI'S SAKE. GET READY FOR YOUR DEATH, BITCH. WRITE YOUR WILL, ORDER A CASKET, SAY YOUR PRAYERS.

Sincerely,

~Sasuke

PS- WE ARE NOT REVIVING MY CLAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOT TODAY, NOT TOMORROW, NOT NEXT CENTURY!!!!!!!!!!

That is all.

Naruto is rolling on the floor, lauging. Sasuke turns in his chair and kicks Naruto in the stomach.

"AUGGHHH....That hurt, teme!" Naruto gets up and glares at Sasuke.

"Good. It was supposed to."

"Fuck you, Sasuke."

"Ive got people to do that for me, Naruto. Not that you know what that's like, since no one would want to be in your pants in the first place."

"Shut up! Hinata's got a crush on me, right?"

"......How did you know?"

"Well, isn't it kinda obvious?"

"Well yeah, but well, we never thought you actually figured it out."

"Why not?"

"Cause your not exactly the brightest candle, Naruto."

"So? I can be smart, too!"

"Yeah, and Sakura's irish." Sasuke says in a sarcastic tone.

"She's IRISH??? Goddamn her, she told me she was born in Konoha! I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS!!!!!!! WAUGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" Naruto runs out of the room, crying into his arm.

He runs back in a moment later. "Sasukeeee!" and cries into Sasuke's shoulder.

"There, there, dobe." Sasuke says. Naruto keeps wailing. Sasuke gets pissy.

"I SAID, THERE FUCKING THERE!" Naruto drops the camera and it stops taping, but it first tapes Sasuke punching Naruto in the face.

The camera cuts to Sasuke, who is smiling politely. Naruto is sitting on a desk, holding an ice pack to his eye.

"Dude, get over it. (to camera) Sorry about that. We put the camera on its stand now. I gave Naruto a shiner, cause he was acting like a three year old. " Sasuke says happily. Naruto flicks him off. Sasuke rolls his eyes, and turns back to the computer. "Let's continue our journey!"

"He acts like a three year old everyday." Naruto whispers to the camera. In the background, the phone rings. Naruto runs to get it, and comes back a few minutes later.

"Dude, Kakashi called. he says we have to meet him for training in half an hour."

Sasuke nods. "There's this fic called "Gay Day". Its sounds awful."

"Let's read it at our own risks!" Naruto says excitedly. Sasuke clicks and Naruto reads-

Tsunade walked up to the mic and said happily, "Welcome to Konoha's first official Gay Day! Today, we will be celebrating all the gay couples in Konoha! Also, we will get some to speak about their adventures together! First up, you know'em, you love'm, give it up for Hatake Kakashi!!!" Everyone applauds as the famous copy ninja himself comes onto stage. Tsunade smiled. "So, tell us Kakashi, how did you find out you were gay?"

"Well, I went to the academy. I was reading Icha Icha, and then, I went into the empty classroom, and there he was. He was so delicate, so beautiful. I recognized a feeling I never felt before- love. I wanted him. I needed him. So, I told him, and we became a couple. Ive never been happier. And, I just wanna tell you, Iruka, I love ya so much babe!"

Iruka comes up onto the stage, and he and Kakashi share a sweet embrace. The crowd applauds. Tsunade sighed happily. "Aaaaw, isn't that sweet, folks? So, can we invite the other gay couples onto stage?"

Many people now come up onto the stage- Shino and Kiba, Shikamaru and Chouji, Lee and Neji, Kabuto and Orochimaru, Inoichi Yamanaka and Hiashi Hyuuga, Chouza Akimichi and Shikaku Nara, and Genma and Hayate. Inoichi and Hiashi are arguing.

"Your hair's sooo pretty." Hiashi twirls his lover's ponytail. Inoichi giggles.

"No, yours is." And tugs Hiashi's hair playfully.

"Oh you! Come here!" and Hiashi and Inoichi start making out. The crowd applauds. Gai stands up and points a finger at Iruka. "I'LL KILL YOU!! YOU TOOK AWAY MY RIVAL AND ONE TRUE YOUTHFUL LOVE!!! WHO AM I TO SHARE MY PASSIONS WITH??? WHO AM I SUPPOSED TO WADE WITH IN THE RIVERS OF YOUTH-" He was interupted by Asuma, who grabs him and turns him around. "I can be your youthful love. Besides, with those manly eyebrows and that sexy outfit(looks Gai up and down), we can do it whenever."Gai stares at him, and then they start making out.

Tsunade sighs happily into the mic. "Also, ladies and gentleman, our lesbos! Give it up for them!" As she says this, Anko and Kurenai walk up onto stage, followed by Ino and Sakura, Hinata and Tenten, and Shizune, who walks over to Tsunade and takes her hand. As she walks onto stage, Sakura trips. Ino quickly catches her.

"Oh, Saki, are you ok?" Ino says gently, pulling Sakura up. Sakura has tears in her eyes.

"M-My ankle.." She whimpers. Ino puts a finger on Sakura's lip gently.

"Shh-sh-sh, say no more." She picks up Sakura bridal style and carries her off the stage. The crowd errupts into cooing.

"Now, everyone. There is one couple I would like to introduce. Konoha's greatest couple. Introducing, Naruto and Sasuke!" Everyone applauds as Naruto runs onto stage, dragging Sasuke. Naruto grabs the mic. "Everyone, in two weeks, im gonna be Naruto Uchiha!" and shows everyone his wedding ring. Then, they start making out-

"AAAAAAAAUUUGHHHHH!!!!!" MY EYES!!!! THEY BURN!!!!!!(Naruto grabs his face and falls on floor and rolls, like in a fire drill) AHHHHH!!!!! SOMEBODY GOUGE'M OUT!!!!!!!!" The camera is shaking wildly as Naruto rolls. He stops suddenly, and looks up at Sasuke, who is frozen, pale, and twitching. "Sasuke? (zooms up on Sasuke's face) Sasukeeee??? Are you alive?" Naruto pokes him. Punches his arm. Slaps his face. Bangs his head on the table. Throws his shoe at him. Sasuke doesn't resond. "Sasuke?!? Cmon, say something! Anything!" Naruto pleads. Sasuke doesn't move, and Naruto gets scared. "SASUKEEEE!" Naruto throws his arms around him and shakes him violently. "SASUKEEE-" he is interupted as Sasuke jumps out of his chair and runs to the bathroom. A few minutes later, he comes back.

"Hey dude, are you ok?" Naruto focuses the camera on Sasuke, who looks pale, and sinks into his chair.

"I got sick.(glares up at Naruto) What were you doing calling yourself Naruto Uchiha?"

"Well, what were you doing making out with me?!"

"Dude, I dunno! (looks at clock) we have to go meet Kakashi, right?"

"Yeah...Hey, lets just forget this, ok? Im scarred for life as it is, and its not like this story is true, anyways."

"Yeah. I'd rather not be reminded of this."

The camera cuts to Sasuke. He is walking into a training field, smiling. All the way in the background, Lee is seen doing pushups. He turns around, to face the camera. "Hey, Naruto, this is the place where we became genin, right?"

"Yup. Brings back memories."

"Hey, we're an hour late. Where the fuck is Kakashi?"

"That bastard is always so fucking late. I-"

Naruto is interupted by Kakashi, who poofs into view.

"Sup, bitches?" Kakashi doesn't bother to look up from his Icha Icha.(Naruto zooms in on the cover, which has a guy getting pummeled by a chick in a red dress)

"Your late, dammit. What took you?" Sasuke says grumpily. Kakashi gives him an annoyed look. "Go change your pad, Sasuke."

Sasuke takes a step forward, but then Sakura comes running. Her face is flushed, and her pink hair is flying everywhere as she runs.

"GUYYYSSS, SORRY IM LATE!!!! I-" She stops talking as she gets pummeled by Sasuke.

"YOU PINK HAIRED SLUT!!!" He screams, befor picking her up, so she is hanging upside down.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING, SASUKE?? PUT ME DOWN!!!" Sakura screams. Sasuke snorts.

"Fat chance of that. (carries Sakura over to nearby trash can) Hope you like wet garbage, Saki." and puts Sakura headfirst in the trash can.

"I never did anything to you!" Sakura cries from inside the trash can. Naruto snickers, and zooms up on the scene. Kakashi rolls his visible eye, and closes his book.

"Alright, you two, I asked Lee to come here today because I want you to train with him. (Lee comes up from behind where he was doing pushups) I can't stay, so sorry. Later!" And Kakashi poofs away.

"Prick." Sasuke says. Naruto turns the camera to Lee. "Sup, bushy-brow?"

"Kakashi-san has asked me to train with you in taijutsu. Now do not think of this as torture. I am actually doing you scallywags a favor, by informing you of the precious and sometimes secretive information on the spring time of youth."

Everyone has the same thought in their heads (including Sakura), except Lee.

'Scallywags?'

Finally, after a few moments, Sakura gets tired of being in a trash can. "Guyssss, can someone help me out, please? Its really dark and it smells!"

Sasuke turns to the trash can. "No one cares, bitch. Suck it up." He says harshly, but Lee runs right past him.

"Sakura-san! Who could do such an evil deed?!" Lee grabs Sakura's legs in an attempt to pull her out, and Sasuke runs to Naruto. "Quick, run!" He hisses, and the camera starts shaking violently as Naruto runs, Sasuke right behind him.

The camera cuts to Naruto, who is panting, hands on his knees. They are standing in front of Ichiraku Ramen. Naruto whipes his forehead with the back of his hand, and looks up at the camera. "Damn, we barely escaped. Im so fucking hungry. (turns to Ichiraku) Oi, Jeechan! I want a 2 supersize ramen bowls, pronto! (to camera) Im Naruto, and about to eat some state of the art ramen. Sasuke's filming, for once."

Sasuke turns to camera around so his face can be seen. "OH MY GOD, AND IM SASUKE!!!" (reaches over and swipes Naruto's ramen bowl)

"Eat your own lunch, fatass!"