Please refer to my previous chapters for the disclaimer OKAY??????!!!!!!!
Every thing was going exactly as Dib hoped that Monday. The Irkens would answer questions like "You drink water out of this" with answers like "water is lethal!"
and "a toilet". GIR was recording the whole thing because Dib promised him a taco if he did.
"We'll take a break and be back after this" Dib said
"I'm impressed loser. You got Zim to fall for it." Claire said backstage
"It wouldn't have been hard but once the world sees this they'll know and they'll be sorry! Oh they'll be sorry!!!!!"
"Well is you wanted to prove they're stupid, you sure did" Claire said flicking her long brown hair
"Want to get a bite after the show?" Dib asked
"No. I met this nice guy, a foreigner, tall and handsome," Claire said
"Who Daniel Radcliffe?" Dib asked sarcastically
"No you'll see..." Claire said
"Welcome back to double jeopardy. I'd like to ask once again to our contestants please refrain from calling my head big! Anyway in 3rd place setting a new record of -$200,000 is Zim."
"You think you're so smart what with your glasses and your big head" Zim said
"Look what the hell did I just say about calling my head big? In 2nd place with -$15,000 is the Red Tallest-"
"Oh I'm just a late bloomer and in double jeopardy I'm gonna bloom!" Red said
in a nasally voice which was odd because he didn't have nostrils.
"Sure you will. In first place is the Purple Tallest with $14"
"Hey! Hey Dib look at the podium!" Purple giggled
"Apparently he has changed his name to 'Turd Ferguson'
"Yeah it's a funny name!" Purple laughed.
"Sure. Tonight's categories are: Potent Potables, Movies that start with the word 'Jaws' Sharp things A petite dejeuner, that category is about French phrases so let's just skip it..."
"Hey I speak a little French: you're an asswipe pardon my French" Purple said
"Rouge is Red in French!" Red said
"Who gives a damn?" Purple said
"... Animal sounds" Dib continued after the outburst "Condiments and Your ass or a hole in the ground. Purple it's your board so you pick"
"I'll take the condom thing for $400"
"That's Condiments! You don't know what you just said do you? Anyway this condiment is made from mustard seeds"
"Onions. I'll take condiments for $600" Red said
"No" Dib said and Purple buzzed in "Purple"
"That's not my name" Purple said
"Turd Ferguson!"
"What?" Purple said
"You buzzed in!!!"
"That's your opinion"
"I hate my job. It was mustard. Purple it's still your board"
"I'll take ape tit for $800"
"That's oh never mind. How about animal sounds for $600? This is the sound a doggy makes."
Zim buzzed in "Moo"
"NO!" Dib said exasperated. If he wasn't insane before he was now.
"That's the sound your sister made last night" Zim said Dib just shuddered " That is not neccary Zim!" and Purple buzzed in "What is Scooby Doo?"
"Oh God no!" Dib said
"That's right" Purple said
"No it's not"
"Yes it is" Then Red buzzed in
"What is Chamillionare?" he said
"HELL NO THAT'S RIDIN'!!!!!!!! Anyway we'd have accepted bow wow or ruff," Dib said
"Oh rough just the way your sister likes it
"Now that's uncalled for. Purple what the fuck are you doing?" Dib said
"I found this backstage. It's an oversized hat funny because it's bigger than a normal Earth hat" He said
"Yes yes go back to your podium! Final Jeopardy is ummm... numbers write a number any number 1,2,3,4 it's that easy" The famous tune played with GIR singing the Doom Song and Dib walked over to Red
"We'll start with you Red grinning like an idiot any you wrote-a bunch of weird squares"
"Hey that's 777 in Irken!" Red said
"Sorry we can't accept that!" Dib yelled in his face " and you wagered Foodcortia with a Dollar sign. Next Purple-"
"Don't bother I didn't write anything"
"Good for you" Dib said "Now Zim..." a 'V' was seen "well Zim V is an Earth Roman numeral so despite your best efforts you won and you wagered- Suck it Dib" with the v connected to make the k of suck
"Well that is all the time we have-" then Purple put the hat on Dib "-would you get that off me!"
"By they way I've got a date with an Earthling you know-Claire" Red said
"WTF? Claire he's 2 feet taller that you!" Dib said. Claire was 5' 5"
"So he's better than you and he's a royal!" Claire said
"Let's get going darling" Red taunted
Just then Dib started flipping out and cried" Why must I always fail!?!"
"Awww don't be sad. Have a piggy!" GIR said and played "Bad Day" By Daniel Powter
"Cuz you had a bad day..." Dib sang