If not for the pale skin and the gaps in his torso, one could not have assumed this noble would be dead. He was charming, polite and quite sauve. You had to be those things if you were a noble, if you weren't you would be called a Duke and be send on some war somewhere to uphold Ankh-Morpork's 'ideals' and nobody wanted that, especially Ankh-Morpork.

From a distance the late Lord Terrence De Schacht sounded like a charming man, it was only when you saw him up close devouring the brain of a monkey you might have figured out he might not be that charming, at least in his eating manners, post-mortem people seem to forget their table manners it seems.

'Right.' Terrence licked his fingers off.' What are your leads so far Nephew Maurice?'

'Well...' Maurice had to look away as his uncle began on his second brain, a cow this time.' We found out who-ever tried...Well killed you was using Assassin drop outs.'

'Drop outs?' Terrence inquired.

'They failed their final tests, or tests in general, and were not offered a second chance.'

'According to one who we hold in custody.' Wiona said.' She was hired by a man somewhere, we're trying to look for him.'

'What is the man's name?'

'Harry S. Ford.' Maurice replied.

'Ah, the treasure hunter!' Terrence smiled.' I hired him once, he brought me a nice ancient totem once. Well not brought really, I stole it off him.'

'Why would a tomb raider hire a drop out assassin to kill a noble?' Maurice asked.

'Ah you see my beloved nephew, that's because he wanted to silence me.'

'Silence you?' Wiona asked.

'Yes, and not just me. I and four other noblemen were part of a organisation which loved archaeology.'

'Arc...arc...wha?' Malachite asked.

'Archaelogy.' Wiona explained.' It's when people dig through rock to find tombs or treasures.'

'Like mining?'

'No no, they want to uncover lost civilizations and find their wealth-'

'Like mining?'

'It's not like mining!'

'Wiona.' Maurice placed his hand on her shoulder.' Calm down, here have some coffee, we know your not a morning person.'

The Witch merely glared, but gladly took the cup and drank it's black contents.

'So...' Maurice broke the ice.' You were saying, Uncle?'

'Oh right, well me and four other lords loved funding and going on expeditions. However recently the Patrician thought our little searches were useless and demanded we seized at once.'

'Why, it's your money isn't it?' the dwarf asked.

'Not really no, tax payer money, we had a share in it, rather complicated. Buying of assassins, hiring assassins and such.'

'Fine, but how does this tie in with the assassins?' Wiona asked.

'Well one of us, Lord Herling, discovered a fantastic secret, buried by the sands of time...' Terrence smiled.' He recovered a ruin which housed the manuals to create Golems!'

The room went silent.

'What?' Maurice asked.' You mean to tell you found a way to create Golems?'

'Well not me, but Lord Herling did yes.'

'But the knowledge to create Golems was long lost, how did he come across it?' Wiona asked.

'He didn't wish to say...but he did came up with a plan.'

'A plan?'

Terrence crossed his legs, but ended picking up his right leg as it fell off.' Sorry about that.' He used some tape to tape it back on.' Ah there we go...right, our group was getting rather annoyed by the Patrician, so like all secret groups, we discussed a revolt.'

'Good luck, you cant find anyone dumb enough to revolt openly against the Patrician.' Maurice scoffed.

'Of course not, that's why we created them!'

The room went silent again.

'What?'

'As you know the Golems we know today are mostly for menial work. Builders, butchers and all that. Also they are made out of brick, not that strong for a sledgehammer. So we came up with the idea to create an army of steel golems to take over the city and perhaps all of the Disc. We weren't quite sure about that one, we have a meeting on that next Tuesday.'

'You were planning to take over the city?' Maurice shouted.

'Pretty much.' Terrence admitted.' Although sadly we were in a bit of odds with the division of the city after we would have conquered it. Everyone wanted the part where the Seamstress Guild works strangely enough...'

'Men...' Wiona rolled her eyes.

'You do know if you attacked the city, the City Watch would've gotten involved? You could have killed me Uncle.'

'I would've found a way to either warn you or take you alive.' Terrence replied.

'So, why you dead?' Malachite went back to the question.

'oh well, because of the issues, we all turned on each other it seems, two of the five were killed before me. Because I saw this coming I dabbled into dark magics we found from our previous discussions which allowed me to become...well this if I died.'

'How?' Wiona asked.

'Well this spell allowed me to duplicate my soul, and since Death can only take one soul, I could still life.'

'How come you didn't come to life AFTER you got killed?' Cheery asked.

'My other half and I couldn't agree who should go, Death was rather annoyed by this.'

A few hours earlier.

The two lords Terrence argued over their corpse as a un-aware Cheery passed by. In the corner was a robed individual with a scythe who tapped his skeletal foot rather annoyed.

And I thought I wouldn't had to deal with this again...' Death sighed annoyed.

He hated this back in the early days. Everything was more complicated then. Ritual sacrifices that made the spirits of the deceased to unruly to safely take them to the after life (Which most of the time ended with Death knocking the spirit out with the wooden bit of his scythe and drag him off), People who had different ideas of the after life and ended up killing each other for it (which meant more work) and of course cases like these.

'I have a job to do!' one of the two shouted.

'So do I!' the other replied.

'I was here first!'

'No, I was!'

Death sighed once more and placed his skeletal hand on his skull. He really didn't have time for this, there was a old woman he had to reap in ten minutes.

'Alright, enough.' Death stood up.' I want to cut this short since I have more work to do.'

'Take him!' the two pointed at each other.

'I'm thinking of a number between one and five, which is it?'

The two souls blinked.' Are you serious?'

'Deadly serious.'

The two souls looked at each other before they started laughing.

'What?'

'You made a pun!' one of the two replied.

'I did?'

'Yes, get it? Your death, and your deadly serious?'

'Oh...well I guess it's rather funny.'

'Right...' the second Terrence wiped a tear from his incorporeal body.' Give me one second...'

'Wrong.'

'What?'

'You said one, one was not the number I was thinking off.'

'I didn't mean it!'

'I was, you.' He pointed to the other one.' Which number am I thinking off?'

'Urghm...four?'

'Wrong, you.' To the first one.

'Wrong, fifty fifty chance.'

'...Five?'

'Correct, you win.'

'Yes!' the first Terrence cheered.' I win, I win!'

'Good, now come with me.'

'...what?'

'You won, you'll go to the after life, this way now.'

'But...I thought if I won I would stay here.'

Death groaned.

'I thought that to.' The second Terrence said.' You have to be more obvious.'

'Alright fine!'

He placed his hand in front of his eyes.' Eeny, meeny miny, moe...' he pointed to the two with every word.

'You cant be serious...' the second said.

'That's it!' Death shouted and slammed the scythe on the second one's head. The Second Terrence fell down and was dragged away by the annoyed Grim Reaper.

'I'm getting to old for this...' Death muttered as he and the second Terrence disappeared.

Now

'And that is how I won the game.' Terrence smiled.' The tricky part to get back into my body is another story.'

'Fantastic...' Wiona shook her head.

'So...who are the two other Lords?' Maurce asked.

'Well Lord Volder and Lord Blok are still alive, those are the prime suspects.'

'Well...' Maurce looked at his peers.' Let's find this Haris Ford and ask whom he is working for, if it's one of the two lords we got him in for murder.'

'What about Golem army?' Malachite asked.

'We'll dob the other in as well.'

'How?'

'I'll think of something...'

With a smirk Wiona stood up.' Perhaps I can be of service?'

TBC