An- Thanks so much to Soxs93 and SuperWoman0124 for reviewing, it makes all kinds of deliverance to my day :) Thank you Chocolate Cas-sicles all round and Soxs, I hope its a bit clearer now? Also if anyone's still here, does anyone have a preference, short chapters quickly or longer chapters slowly? Ta :)

Chapter 4

They drink in a bar Dean recognizes, with punters he recognizes too, it makes him uncomfortable. He doesn't know any of them by name though and not a one of them disturbs the two of them as they order their drinks -from the blond that Dean almost but didn't quite 'tap' a few jobs ago, she smiles but doesn't talk, he's not sure if that's weird-

Cas inspects his drink with a tiny frown which makes him warm inside, if Deans getting drunk its sure as hell not on his own again, besides where but his own head is he going to get away with ordering a triple absinthe on the rocks?

"So Cas man, where for art thou?" Deans trying for funny but his hands still kinda shaking from the hole that's no longer through his shoulder. When the blue eyes in front of him take to studying the table it gets a little worse

"I... I'm in hell Dean, where I belong."

"Oh," he'd been dreading that. Yeah the angel of the fourth day had screwed up, and sure Dean expects his own One Way Trip to end there too but he kinda quietly always hopes that Sam and Bobby and by proxy of once being family, Cas finish up somewhere better than that. "So eh...queuing? Hows that working out for you?" please please please he thinks quietly because if Crowly can do him this one solid, he might be nice next time the sees the British bastard and kill him quickly after all.

"I am... not one of the souls that takes a ticket." Deans not sure he's ever seen Cas go pale before and it kinda sickens him, this guy played God, sucked in every soul in Purgatory and basically screwed up everything for Dean, including his baby frikin brother. Pale as he is though Dean knows that its all his fault and that given the choice he'd probably still give his old friend a happily ever after eventually.

Why did he think Cas was capable of fighting a war all on his own, just look at the bastard. Dean had fought wars sure, with Sam and Bobby and Joe and Ellen and Ash and Cas himself by his side. With the shoe on the other foot though Dean had never once stood by Cas. Yeah, he downs his liqueur, he's a bastard, he knows.

"I killed my brothers, rebelled against my father himself Dean there is no other place for me. I deserve this."

Its from 40 years in the pit, longer than Deans lived out side of it that he knows, just knows that of all the tattered torn souls he come across down there, this ridiculous angel with an aversion for personal space and unresolved daddy issues is the least deserving of torture he's ever known, Cas's soul probably glitters for gods sake, glitters around the holes in it admittedly but glitters all the same. .

Its all hard, and making him sick and his hands are still trying to shake and he hates it.

"No you don't, not now not ever do you hear me Feather Brains? No one deserves that." he can't look at Cas as his mouth runs off, he'll just have to hope his old friend gets that its true.

"Hm." They both drink , neither flinch as the alcohol burns all the way down (this is Deans head after all, only the good stuff here) "how is Sam?" when did angel boy learn to change the subject Dean wonders and then almost laughs at what a bad subject change it is -only Castiel- .but he feels like he's just been hit by a truck so he doesn't.

Deans through with talking, Cas being in hell makes him crazy, especially as not ten minuets earlier he'd been having his own Happy Times in Hell Re-Run.

"Cas I'll fix this." he's got so much to do, with the Leviathans, Sam, drinking enough to maintain an even saturation and Dick frikin' Roman but he means it.

Cas's cold hand reaches out and prise the empty drink from between Deans fingers where he staring trying to avoid the guilt that eats at him when he looks up. Dean likes it when their fingers brush though, it reminds him that here at least Cas is solid and real and he wants nothing more than to grab handfuls of the angel just so he can hold on. Crowly cant have him if Dean never lets go right?

"No Dean." He sounds every bit the God he's not making orders like that, "I wont leave hell. This though" he waves a hand at Dean, the bar and the blond that Dean isn't sure moves when he's not thinking about her "this... I will take, right or wrong, but the punishment fits the crime Dean, I must pay for my sins." He's not got it in him to argue any more, he's tired, so very frikin tired and what's one more little lie to an angel on his list of sins?

"Okay, okay Cas, whatever you say." The tension doesn't break there though so the hunter reaches for a straw and clutches at it "You wana try your luck on the pool table angel boy?"