My whirlwind night ends with a long hug, a lingering kiss on my cheek, and the promise of a text message. I tune to a random AM talk radio station in my car because I don't feel like any music could complement my current mood. But I can't just drive in silence and allow my mind to process everything. It isn't quite ready for such a task.
I get home to find Jordan passed out on the couch in the living room. I walk up to the couch and kneel down in front of him. I touch my hand to his head and briefly pet his hair. "Hey, J," I whisper. He opens his eyes but is still half asleep. I pick him up and carry him to his bedroom upstairs. I tuck him into bed and sit down next to him.
"Where were you?" he asks me. I don't necessarily know how to answer.
"I just went out for a little while," I say, leaving out any details.
"You look happy," he comments.
"I, uh, I had a good night," I concede.
"Were you with Beck?" he asks. Jordan and Beck had developed a really great relationship over the last year and a half. I hadn't had the heart to tell Jordan that we had broken up. And I still don't.
"No, honey, I was out with a..." I consider how to put it without confusing him, "a friend."
"Cool," he says as he drifts back off to sleep. I lean over and kiss him on the forehead before getting up, turning the lights out, and leaving the room. I take a left out of the room and walk down to the hallway to my room. I hear my phone's text tone before I enter.
I grab my phone and lay down on my bed. Thirteen text messages. Several from Cat, begging me to come to the beach, one from my mom asking if I was coming home or if I was out getting drunk and pregnant, even one from Beck saying he was sorry I felt too uncomfortable to hang out with the group. And one text from an unsaved number with a Los Angeles area code.
I open up the last one and smile as I read "Hey there, princess." I save the number as simply Tori.
My phone dings as I get another text from Cat. "Where are you?" She asks.
I call her and she picks up with a frantic sounding "Oh my god. Jade! Are you okay?"
"Hey, Kitty Cat," I say, using the pet name I've always called her. "I'm fine. I went out and forgot my phone at home."
"Oh thank god!" she exclaims.
"Are you still at the beach?" I ask.
"No, I just got home." She says. "It took a while since Beck was the only one who didn't drink so he had to drive us all home."
"Good lookin' out," I say, happy that none of my friends drove drunk.
"He was asking about you," she says.
"Oh," I say with as little emotion as possible.
"He felt really bad that you didn't come." She says. "You didn't come because he was gonna be there, right?"
"Right," I confirm.
"Well then I'm sorry too," she apologizes.
"It's cool," I assure her. "I actually had a great night. Completely unexpected, but great."
"Yay!" she almost shouts. "What did you do?"
I consider telling her everything right then and there, but decide that it probably wouldn't come out right. I still needed to process the whole thing, something I was avoiding doing.
"Look," I start to explain but then think better of it. "Hey I'm going to try to sleep in tomorrow but do you want to meet up for lunch?"
"Kay kay!" she responds. "Goodnight, Jade!"
"Goodnight, Kitty Cat," I say.
I press the "end call" button and return to the text message from Tori. I stare at the words for a long time before even considering what to respond with. "Hey there, princess." it reads. Before I can reply I get another text from her. purine heart emoticon appears and I inhale deeply. I write back with the only mildly charming thing I can think of. "Siiiiiiiigh."
"Did you make it home okay?" she texts me.
"I did, thanks." I write back.
Another text from her. "I had a great time tonight. It was amazing, actually. Magical."
After much deliberation within my head I write back with "Wonderful."
I don't even have time to take a breathe before her next text message arrives. "Beautiful."
"Exciting," I write back, much more quickly this time.
"Dare I ask if I can see you tomorrow?" she writes.
"You dare." I respond.
She writes back with "Can I see you tomorrow?" and I smile at the literalism.
I start typing. "I've got plans with a friend for lunch." I think about adding something else. I type out "Maybe you can meet her?" I stare at the words for a minute before deleting the sentence. It is too soon for that. I continue my original thought. "Afterward?"
"Great! I can get a ride to your house if you want." She offers.
Not a chance. My mom will be home. And I still don't want Tori to meet Jordan yet. No, that's incorrect. I don't want Jordan to meet her. "How about I come over to your house?"
"Cool. Movie date." She replies. As I read it my heart skips over the word "date." It's just a word, I try to convince myself. I have to try to ignore it. Push it to the back of my mind.
"I'll text you when I'm leaving here." I write.
"Sweet dreams, princess." She texts.
"Night." I write even though I know it sounds kind of brusque, hoping she won't think I'm just brushing her off. Hoping she knows I'm just putting a wall up. A wall that I can already feel her pulling apart, brick by brick. Hoping she knows I'm just scared.