Damon finally decided to change out of his fishnets and miniskirt, into just his leather pants and nothing else. "Jeremy, I really don't think we need to charge people to play chess with me."

"Are you the brains of the business or are you the hot ass, Damon?" Jeremy asked.

"But-"

"Answer me, Damon. Are you the brains or are you the hot ass?" Jeremy asked again.

"I'm the hot ass," Damon replied.

"Good, now I have to go see Bonnie in the bedroom, if you know what I mean," Jeremy said.

"You're doing Bonnie?" Damon asked disappointedly. "I thought I was your favorite whore."

"Of course you are," Jeremy said, stroking Damon's hair. I'm not going to mention if it was his hair above or below his waist. "It's a pity lay because no one has bothered to buy her."

"Not like I wanted to sleep with you," Damon muttered.

"Good," Jeremy said. "We can't have you worn out for our customers, now can we?"

"No, sir," Damon said.

"Atta boy," Jeremy said, slapping him in the ass. "Go get 'em Big D."

Klaus woke up in Stefan's arms. "What the hell is this?"

Stefan groggily opened his eyes. "What's going on?"

"You're cuddling. Why are you cuddling?" Klaus asked.

"You're the one who's in love with me!" Stefan said defensively.

"I'm not in love with you!" Klaus said. "It was a one night stand, seriously Stefan could you be any more clingy?"

"But you said... you didn't have any guest bedding so I'd have to sleep in your bed. That's a fucking line," Stefan said.

"No, it's not. The bedding is out at the drycleaner's," Klaus said.

"You said my hair smelt nice!" Stefan protested.

"Well it smelled like coconut!" Klaus said.

"Well... I guess I did try a new shampoo..." Stefan muttered.

"Get out of here," Klaus said. "I don't want to start a relationship with you."

"Fine," Stefan said, feeling oddly sad.

Three hours later, Klaus realized he was just being a bitch and he actually did want to start a relationship with Stefan. He called Stefan.

"What Klaus?" Stefan said angrily.

"I want you back," Klaus said.

"We were never together," Stefan pointed out.

"Are you saying no?" Klaus asked.

"I'm saying no," Stefan said. "You were a real ass today, I don't think I need that in my life."

So Klaus did what any self-respecting man would do and went to go buy the love of his life's brother for some sad sex.

He knocked on the Salvatore door. Jeremy answered. "Klaus, good to see you. Although, I'm sorry to tell you I still haven't convinced Stefan to become a dollar whore yet."

"I'm here for Damon," Klaus said.

Jeremy's eye's lit up. "Alright, but he's our most expensive prostitute. $20, 000 for an hour."

"Fine, where is he?" Klaus growled.

Damon was still attempting to put on his leather pants. Klaus ripped the pants right off of Damon. "You won't be needing these."

"Have you paid Jeremy?" Damon asked, afraid Jeremy would beat him if he didn't.

"Yes," Klaus said, throwing Damon against the wall.

"Okay then," Damon said, somewhat nervous at all of Klaus's anger. Then he realized Klaus wasn't just angry he was actually crying. "Why are you crying?"

"Shut up! I didn't pay you to talk!" Klaus said, undoing his belt and his zipper. Then he slowly unbuttoned his shirt.

"Strip faster!" Damon complained.

Klaus slapped Damon across the face before removing the rest of his clothes. "Lay down on the bed." Damon laid down on his back. "The other way, dickhead!"

"Fine!" Damon said, laying on his stomach.

Klaus laid on top and entered Damon.

"Can't you at least use some lube?" Damon whined.

"NO!" Klaus said, punching Damon in the back of the head and sobbing. "Stop talking, Stefan!"

"I'm not Stefan you psychopath!" Damon cried.

Klaus gripped Damon's hips and bore into him hard. He thrusted deeply, and Damon tried not to cry out in discomfort, as Klaus called out Stefan's name over and over again through sobs.

Finally, Klaus finished with a loud scream. Jeremy walked in. "You went one minute over your hour. I need another 20K."

"Are you fucking serious?" Klaus asked, throwing Damon across the room and through the wall.

Jeremy ran to Damon's aid. "Damon, are you hurt?"

"I'm fine," Damon said uncertainly.

Jeremy tenderly kissed Damon on the forehead before turning his attention back to Klaus. "And you ripped his pants! Those are custom made! Twenty-one thousand dollars you owe me."

"Fine!" Klaus said writing a check and going home to cry some more.