Chapter notes:

Heart-filled little interlude in which Bella contemplates love, and what this all means. Important if you need it all to make sense. But if you're just in it for the sexin' up, the next chapter will please you much more. Sort of like it pleases the Cullens, especially when they please each other. And themselves. In front of each other. Mmmm…Yeah, definitely some sexin' up in chapter five. In the meantime, enjoy this non-lemon. Chapter five will be posted later this weekend, and it will be more lemony than a whole lemon, marinated in lemon juice, sitting on top of a lemon pie, decorated with lemonheads. Get ready to pucker up. **grin**

Twilight and the Twilight characters are solely the property of Stephenie Meyer. She owns them. I just let my keyboard do very wicked things with them. Naughty keyboard!

**********

September 18, 2020 - even later

I groaned in response to Edward's news and closed my eyes. Between being perpetually young, and never exhausted, it's rare to find a Cullen who has had "enough" sex. But I was pretty darn close. I had just experienced three completely new things. Sex with Carlisle, sex with Alice (a woman!), and then the most amazing sex Edward and I had ever had. I was still worried about the impact such a day might have on my closeness with him, but was starting to see the benefit of what we were doing. The way vampires mate -- for eternity in an unbroken bond -- there was always the possibility of the relationship being taken for granted. Not in the way human partners do, where one or both stray from the marriage or separate, but in a more subtle way. It's almost as if the bond between mates is so great there is no risk of losing the other and a level of apathy can set in. I could now see what Edward meant when he said the family did this to keep their relationships "alive". He didn't mean that the relationships were at risk of failing otherwise. He merely meant this re-kindled the feeling of newness in the relationship, and possessiveness for one's mate -- soul, heart and body. Edward and I both seemed to respond the same way.

While my mind wandered to hearts, I thought of Carlisle and Alice. Had things changed between us? Would things change? My feelings for each of them were no less than before, certainly. I had loved both deeply. They were my family. Both had offered me something priceless. Carlisle had given me a home, a family, love, support, and his adopted son. Without him, Edward and I would not be. Carlisle had believed in Edward's strength when Edward himself had not. Alice had given me friendship, sisterhood, and a fierce commitment to me that still tugged my heart whenever I thought of it. She loved with a passion and gave it freely. She had supported us when no-one else did. She had been my defender and my ally. But I didn't love them simply because of what they had done for me. I loved them mostly because they were incredible people. They were such good people. Loving, kind, smart, funny, different, and accepting.

No, those feelings were there, and more. While I can honestly say I wasn't in love with either of them -- no-one held that place in my heart but Edward -- I can say that I felt closer to them both. If my bond with either were made of intertwined threads, each representing a connection we had made with each other over the years, several new threads had just been added. The bond was stronger. And more colorful.

"Bella? Are you awake?"

The smile in Edward's voice carried clearly. I didn't need to open my eyes to see his cocky grin, and single eyebrow raised in good humor. I smiled in response. With my thoughts so focused and my eyes closed I must have appeared to be sleeping. Ah...sleep. I did miss sleep.

"Ten more minutes?" I asked, adding a groggy tone to my voice. Edward had been my personal alarm clock during most of my last two years as a human, and had heard that from me almost daily. He chuckled in response.

"Where did you go, love?"

"I was thinking about love." I exhaled a little louder than I intended, distracted by thinking through how to phrase my conclusions. "I was wondering about all of...this...and thinking about how it affects us, and the family. One would think it would damage a relationship, but quite honestly, it feels like...like when Renesmee was born. Do you remember?"

He nodded thoughtfully, but obviously still waiting for my point. I continued.

"Before Renesmee, I thought my heart was full. My heart was full of you, and our families, and I didn't need or want anything else. I honestly couldn't imagine fitting anything else in."

"Don't forget Jake," Edward said with mock anger.

I leveled him a serious look. "Jake was always family to me Edward."

He smiled and kissed me on the cheek, no hint of anything but love in the action. "I know love, I'm teasing. Please continue. Nessie?"

"Yes, Renesmee," I emphasized her name, the shortened version still sitting poorly with me over a decade later. "When I found out I was pregnant, I didn't love you or any of our family any less. My heart simply grew to encompass my love for her. And that's no small thing -- love for your child is pretty damn big, you know."

Edward snorted a little. He wouldn't lower his vocabulary standards enough to ever utter the phrase "duh", but that's what his snort meant.

"My point is, I think I can see what happens here. It's not just keeping our relationship 'alive', so to speak. It's making us all closer together. I don't think Carlisle and I will ever be quite the same again, but in a good way. I feel more connected to him. And Alice."

"Not too connected, I hope." He said dryly. But I could hear the hint of fear in his voice.

I reached a hand up to cup his cheek, looking him in the eye. "No, Edward. No-one has my heart and my soul but you. But, tell me, don't you feel closer to Alice now?"

He paused for a moment, thinking through both the question and his answer carefully.

"Yes, I do. But I'm not in love with her Bella. That was physical."

"I know, but it was an act of bonding, wasn't it. Not 'making love' necessarily, but being...close. That's all I'm saying. We're all closer now. I don't think that can ever be bad. As long as the lines aren't crossed. And honestly, can you see that? Can you see me leaving you for Emmett? Or Carlisle? Can you envision leaving me for Rosalie?"

Edward shuddered slightly at this. Leaning is head down, placing his forehead gently on mine, he closed his eyes and smiled beatifically.

"No, love, I can't. You are my life. My soul. And I know now, more than ever, you feel the same. Whatever happens today, that won't change." He gave a tiny huff of amusement. "Now, if we're all done with the analysis, can we go take a shower? I'm a little overwhelmed by our combined scent at the moment. Smells like a vampire frat party."

Laughing, we wrapped ourselves in throw blankets before walking to the bathroom.

"All clear in there?" Edward called out to Alice and Carlisle.

"Yes, come in you two." Carlisle's calm voice carried through the door.

We entered the large bathroom, to find the two of them showered and in bath robes, Carlisle's arms around Alice in an easy hug. Both were smiling.

Alice chimed up, "Your turn! Hurry and get ready, I see some very interesting things happening. Bella, I'm going to lay some clothes out for you. Will you please not be stubborn and just put them on?"

I smiled down at the beautiful pixie who made me laugh every single day, and leaned to kiss her forehead. "Yes, Alice."

**********

Author's Note:

Please be kind and review – it's truly the only thing we get back from writing. Constructive criticism is always welcome. Unconstructive criticism is bad karma and you will suffer in your next life. Or possibly even now. But definitely in your next life. *grin*