OKAAAY, HI. So as you can see I've created cover art for this fic, now it's pretty small so you can barely see it, but bigger versions of each of the pieces of cover art are on my blog. (and yes, the boy on the cover is Lucas, who else would it be? xD) From the cover art Lucas is the main feature (clearly) and I really think the cover art really shows his importance, you can see on the bigger picture on my blog that there is a picture of the mushroom cloud from Hiroshima behind him, and I've made him slightly see-through so you can see it on his face – I'm not giving anything away but it's a symbol okay – take that piece of information how you wish.

I did warn you last chapter it would be a wait for this chapter, and it was. So I hope you enjoy this. The starting seemed a bit predictable so I re-wrote it.

It's just curiosity but Kensi's alias name, is it Caitlin but spelt different? (That Aussie Gurl)
Cailin is said kinda how it looks really – Cail (Like Hail, veil for example) then Lin(Lynn) Some people say it differently but that's how I've always said it :) x

Thanks to Beth-the-beta :P (Blame all mistakes on LJ ;) - Beth)NO BETH, if there are mistakes you didn't do your job right.

Uhh... warning ... strong language... Mainly from Kensi...

ENJOY :D

-LJ x

Kensi shifted between consciousnesses as the sun bled through the crack in the curtains, leaving a perfect trail of sunlight running across her face. She murmured an undecipherable word before opening her eyes, yelping lowly at the burst of pain that shot through her as the sun burned her eyes. She squeezed them shut and threw her body around, burying her head into the pillow, letting her eyes cool off and heal in the darkness.

That's when she noticed, in the bid to protect her eyes, she realised the bed was empty, but she was sure she didn't sleep alone last night; she had felt Deeks get into bed.

She gingerly opened her eyes and inhaled deeply, her senses reminding her it was definitely her partner she shared a bed with last night. He had a unique permanent scent of sand and sea water mixed with vanilla. The sweet scent also reminded her she was on her partners' side of the bed, and she had her face buried in his pillow.

And he was her partner. That's what clicked to her. She was laid there basking in his scent. Wow, creepy, she thought to herself as she shifted the feather quilt off of her body, her pink pyjama pants had rode all the way up to her thighs from her restless sleeping last night. She sighed and rubbed her hands over her face, pulling her body over the edge of the bed and standing up, her pants legs falling back into the respectful place.

She walked across the bedroom and took a long look in the mirror. Her hair was such a mess, sticking up in all directions. "Oh, God," she muttered as she tried to smooth it down with her hands – unsuccessfully. She glanced to the clock, '8:04' it displayed in block digital. How long had Deeks been awake?

She effortlessly ran her fingers through her messy hair before walking to the door and pulling it open. Another scent hit her nose straight away – waffles.

She smiled and chewed on her bottom lip, walking up the hall towards the kitchen.

"Mommy!" She was greeted as soon as she entered the kitchen.

At first she was unresponsive, forgetting she was 'Mommy' before shaking her head rapidly to clear her thoughts.

"Hey sweetie." She looked to the little boy, who was stuffing his face with huge chunks of waffles. "Take smaller bites, you'll choke," she told him, joining her 'family' at the table. Deeks span around from the stove and dropped four waffles onto her plate.

"Morning, Cailin," he smiled, taking his seat around the white round table.

"Morning." She smiled to him. "Thanks." She picked up the bottle of syrup and squeezed a small amount onto each waffle.

"No problem." He took the syrup once she had finished using it and put a slightly more than generous amount onto his plate.

"How long have you been awake?"

"Since 6am, I borrowed your iPod from the bedside table and listened to that new album you put on there before we left the old place whilst I ran. I came home and caught Lucas at about 7, sitting in front of our bedroom door clutching a blanket, he said he knocked but nobody answered."

Kensi knew what he was talking about by her 'iPod' – he'd taken an ear bud from the bedside table and contacted ops. She felt a pang of sadness when she heard about Lucas; he had tried to come in the room but she hadn't heard him, she had always been a heavy sleeper but she always woke up to knocks. "I'm sorry buddy, Mommy is a heavy sleeper, and I didn't hear you knock."

"Das okay mommy," Lucas smiled, chocolate sauce from his waffles smeared on his cheeks.

"I was thinking of taking Lucas to the park after breakfast, explore the new neighbourhood a little bit," Deeks smiled, eating a bit more before speaking up again. "Do you want to come?"

Kensi swallowed her mouthful and looked at the messy child. "He's going to need to wash up first, and I need a shower, but yes." Luckily, this house had an en suite and a main bathroom.

They all finished their breakfast and Deeks stood up first, to clear everybody's plates up, first grabbing his and Lucas' then moving around the table and taking Kensi's.

His sweet scent hit her nose again, this time it was less salty due to the fact he hadn't surfed this morning, but it was still his scent. She felt the overwhelming sense of being a complete creep hit her as she stood up fast, scrambling over to the small child. Then she realised she had to shower and ended up walking in a confused circle until she bumped into Deeks.

"Sorry," she muttered.

"You go shower, I'll sort Lucas," he told her, laughing at how confused she seemed.

Kensi nodded, still not quite sure what just happened. She made her way back to her – their – bedroom and into the en suite.

She shut the door fast and exhaled, finally realizing the reality of the situation and how hard it was going to be. She was mental for doing this, not that she had a choice, and Hetty was mental for making her. She couldn't do this, be a mother, a wife? She was about as domestic as a rat.

And being the wife of her partner was going to be even harder. No, wait what would be harder? Caring for a child that you know if you get too attached to can ruin your life, or getting so close to you partner, the person you're supposed to be professional with, in such an intimate setting, heck, they even shared a bed.

Kensi felt like hyperventilating. This morning had seemed so normal and it scared the shit out of her. She couldn't do this. Already, in less than 24 hours, she felt like everything that was sacred to her was ripped away; her identity, her livelihood. And things were shoved in its place. Things normal people would have years to prepare for.

But not her, why did she ever think Hetty would be conventional? She sure as hell didn't think Hetty would give them a child, ever. Not a real one any way, a doll for a one off op maybe. But this was a four year old boy, who could understand almost every word they said, and a four year old hears things they don't even know they hear, and they repeat things. He was a liability to them, if somebody from the organisation was to say something around him, and if he repeated it, they would be completely and utterly screwed beyond belief.

She was married now, and a mother. And she was beyond the point of even nearly being 'fine with it'. For God's sake, what was running through that woman's head when she convinced herself to not even give them a weeks' notice? Heck even days notice would have given them some leeway, some time to accept it, but no, this was even more of a surprise than one of those lame-ass parties people would throw for you, one of those ones where you would have to act ecstatic, when in reality you were just scared shitless by a bunch of intruders in your home, half of them you haven't spoken to in months.

In her case she was scared shitless due to the fact she felt like an intruder in her own home, she did not feel like the mother of this boy, the wife of her partner. She sank to the floor and put her head between her knees. She couldn't do this. She couldn't do this. She shouldn't have to do this.

But she couldn't not do this either.

Her whole body was shaking. She was the one who was supposed to remain objective in these situations, but not even an hour ago she was overcome by just her partners' scent. How the hell was she going to balance a teaching job, being a mother, being an assassin for hire, and the wife of her partner, who she was pretty damn sure she had feelings for?

Fuck. That was currently the only word that could sum up what she was thinking right now. Everything was fucked up. This was not how it was supposed to go.

She reluctantly stood up and went over to the shower, turning it on and stripping down, casually stepping in under the scolding spray. The water and the steam of the shower's spray were slowly turning her skin red as she remained idle under the spray.

She finally gave up with her thoughts after about five minutes, and washed her body and hair. She contemplated never leaving the shower, but she knew if she stayed in too long Deeks would figure that something was up and probably break down the door just to find out if she was okay. Kensi stepped out of the shower cubicle and turned it off, grabbing the towel that was mounted on the pole on the wall. She wrapped it around herself and exited the bathroom.

She didn't even think about the fact Deeks could be in there. "Whoa," she said, noticing him packing a small rucksack, his back was to the door but he still realised she came in.

Kensi pulled the towel both up and down simultaneously, trying to make sure she was definitely covered up.

Deeks turned around. Seeing her attire he smirked and looked her up and down. "You okay?" He didn't even try to hide the fact he was checking her out.

"Out!" she ordered, she really was not in the mood for any of his jokes right now, not with what she had mentally just been through.

Deeks could tell something was wrong and dropped his jokey smirk, looking at her face. "Cailin?" he asked.

"I'm fine," she answered his un-asked question. "Please... out," she asked, a little bit of vulnerability in her voice.

Deeks sensed he shouldn't mess with her right now; something had definitely happened over the space between now and breakfast. "Okay." He nodded, picking up the rucksack he was packing and left the room.

Kensi rushed to the door and closed it straight after him, exhaling loudly and resting her forehead against the cold wood of the door.

A/N: Sorry this is so short :/ well, it's about HH1,700 words, I really did want it to be longer, but I also wanted to end it there. We kind of see Kensi break a bit, I guess it's kind of a well-worded filler (Eh? xD)

The reviews I'm getting so far have made me ecstatic, I've been getting up to 20 reviews per chapter and you have no idea how much I'm smiling because of that :D I'd really, really love it so much if you could keep that up :D (And I really also know that's a long shot, I'm not forcing you to review so don't think of it like that, please x)

Review rule still applies, if you like it, please review so I know I should carry on, if you hate it, hey, if you want to review, go ahead. Criticism helps :)

All and any questions will be answered in next chapters a/n :)

-LJ x

*Patiently awaits the next chapter... Or I hold Lucas hostage... And demand fluff* XD – Beth

BETH NO. Bad Beth.