Why hello there, dear readers. It's been awhile, hehe...Well, I'm back with another chappy of What She Left Behind. I apologize for my long absence, and I'm determined to keep up with updates. So, let's get a few things out of the way. I only own Abigail, and no one else. I apologize for any grammar/spelling errors, I'm not perfect, lol. So, please sit back, read, review and enjoy.:D
Ted stared blankly at the envelope in his hands, his mind grasping to get a grip on the reality of it. It was addressed in his name, bore no return address and had no other indication of where, or whom it came from. He instantly recognized the handwriting. The entire situation shook him. Just recently, he had learned of the suicide of Abigail Whitaker.
He seriously contemplated tossing the envelope. If it were important, wouldn't it have more identification behind it? It was just a plain envelope with his name scrawled across the front. Something stopped him though; a dangerous stab curiosity and driven itself into him. He didn't want to know what was inside, he needed to know.
If he tossed it, what would the writer do, come down and yell at him? Ted chuckled before his smirk faltered. What if it was important?
In his mind, he went over the possibilities. It could be a letter from a Diva, confessing her love for him. Maybe it was some joke a friend was playing on his. Ted shook the envelope, and, hearing the shuffle of the contents, made his decision. He was going to open it.
Sliding his thumb underneath the flap, he gently opened it and watched as the letter inside fluttered to the ground. Bending down, and picking it up, he caught a glimpse of the end.
From, Abigail
His hand shook, almost causing him to drop the paper. He backed himself up, trying to gather his thoughts. It was just a letter, he tried telling himself. "She-she must've sent it before she died, way before…maybe it just got lost in the mail." He cleared his throat and straightened out the letter. Ted had been pushing it from his mind, well…pushing her from his mind. The blond was certain he couldn't possibly have anything to do with her death, he barely talked to her. Why would she give him a letter? Sure, she died, it was sad. Yeah, it was suicide, but was it his problem? No.
Standing up straight, Ted moved into his locker room. A tiny, nagging voice in the back of his head sighed. His conscience was irking him, prodding at him with the truth he failed to recognize. Shaking his head, he tried to clear his thoughts.
"Just read the damn letter." He growled under his breath. "It's not that damn hard." He cursed silently and set the letter down on the coffee table. He tossed the envelope beside it. The envelope landed with a clang, perking Ted's interest. Sitting on the couch in front of the table, he searched the envelope, drawing out a DVD. "And a DVD?"
Holding the DVD in one hand, he reached for the letter with the other. Which should be seen first? He thought to himself, his mind wandering far from the decision at hand. In his head, he viewed memories…or were they daydreams?
He saw Abigail, bright-eyed and smiling, watching him from across the table. She had a pen and pad of paper in her hands, and she was leaning towards him, listening intently. "So, DiBiase, Jr. Tell me…everything." She released an exaggerated sigh as her eyes sparkled up at him. He laughed, running a hand through his hair.
"I don't know, I mean…I have some pretty dark secrets."
"Trust me, I can handle them."
"No, you shouldn't have to. You're too sweet to have to hear such…horrible things." He leaned in closer to her, as she nudged herself closer. Their lips were almost touching, centimeters away from a kiss.
"If you think," she whispered softly, "that this 'bad-boy-princess' charade is going to get you into my pants, you're sorely mistaken." Abigail smiled sweetly, ducking in to kiss his cheek before reclining in her seat.
Ted remembered this…they were in an empty room, having another "secret meeting". He had been her friend, someone to talk to other than Matt, for once. The young DiBiase wasn't going to lie, he enjoyed her company, too bad none of his friends did, and otherwise, he wouldn't have hidden their friendship…
Ted shook his head and ran a hand over his face. That couldn't have been why she killed herself, could it? He smirked with some sort of twisted satisfaction that he must've been pretty important to her, for her to leave him something after she was gone.
"You're being an ass, Ted; a horrible, self-centered ass." He muttered, setting down the DVD and unfolding the letter.
Theodore,
The meaning behind this letter will completely blow you away. As I am sitting here, on June 6th, 2010, I'll write ten letters before the end arrives. Ten letters, for ten people. And one of them is you. How do you confront someone, Ted, who has been there through some of life's hardest moments. How do you tell them the reason why you're leaving and never coming back? Some of these will be easier to write than others. Others have been crueler; few have been able to sincerely and genuinely ease the pain.
I know you, Ted. You'll avoid the subject, tiptoe around the bush, hoping I won't be brought up. As a man, you're like that because you don't want to share your feelings. As Theodore DiBiase, Jr., you're like that because you're an ass. Oh, don't worry, seven other people were asses. Two were angels. And I bet you were thinking I'd leave you a note saying how much I'm thanking you for being my friend.
But were you really my friend, Theodore?
As much as I'd like to sit and write everything I want to say to you in a letter, I need to save paper. So, please pop in that DVD, yeah, the one you'd contemplated watching first.
Trust me, everything will be explained.
Abigail
Ted frowned, he hadn't been expecting that. Sure, he hadn't been the nicest to her, but he couldn't have been that bad, could he? A troubled look crossed his face as he dug through his bag to bring out his laptop. Powering it up, he slid the DVD in and sat back…
The black screen disseminated into the clear image of Abigail's face. She gave a small smile, running a hand through her golden-bronze hair before she began. "Theodore…or do you prefer Ted? " She shrugged. "I'll call you Theodore." She cleared her throat. "This is one of ten videos sent out to various people on the roster. I won't tell you who the others are; you have to seek each other out. What I'm doing in this video, Te-" She stopped, "Theodore…listen, I shouldn't be such a jerk to you. I just…think you should know what you did to me." Abigail drew in a breath, sitting back to relax in her chair. The tension still didn't leave her face or shoulders.
"This is the end, Teddy."
The chill in her voice struck a chord in his heart. Ted shut his eyes, shaking his head as he shifted his body. He was starting to get uncomfortable; he knew what she was getting at.
"You wanna know how you helped kill me, Teddy?"
Even though he knew she couldn't respond, he nodded.
"Well, do you know what hurts more than losing a friend? Being a secret friend. Yeah, I didn't enjoy it, Ted. It left me more unstable than I could handle. What made me so much of a burden that you couldn't handle being humane to me? Do you know what it feels like? It's like someone stabbing you with a knife, and then apologizing before stabbing you again. I thought you were genuine; everything you did for me was so…sweet and kind. I thought you gave a damn about me, but not enough to show it in front of your friends."
"That's not true, Abigail…it's not…" Ted frowned, his eyes downcast as he nervously bit his lip. "I just couldn't…they wouldn't have understood. You didn't like people anyways…I mean." He stopped talking, having pressed the 'pause' button. Taking a deep breath, he played the video again.
"I'd have strung some clips together, but I have none of you and me. We set up 'secret meetings', remember? No documentation allowed. All I want to know, Ted, is why. Why was it so important that I not be your friend? That's all I ever wanted to know, Ted. That's the only question I have for you, and now, I'll never get an answer.
"The things you did, they threw me through a loop. One minute, we were laughing, the next you'd be shoving me aside. You acknowledge me when no one was around, but as soon as your friends waltzed in, I was alienated. Has anyone ever done that to you? I wouldn't think so, I'm sure everyone actually wants to be around you. You were good like that, sweet, charming, and kind, now if only you had used it for good."
Ted had to pause it. In silence, he sat back, his body quavering and shivering with an unseen draft. His leg started bouncing, one of his nervous habits. He felt sick, a dark pit rumbling within him, revealing the cold fact to himself; he had killed someone. His actions, his thoughts and mind had driven someone to kill themselves.
His body convulsed in hacking coughs. Quickly getting to his feet, he ran to the bathroom and dropped to his knees, clutching the rim of the toilet bowl. A cold sweat prickled his skin as pinprick shivers arched down his spin. He retched, his shoulders heaving as he emptied his stomach. Breaths came in short gasps, guilt and disgust still swirled within him. Ted leaned back, resting his head against the cool porcelain. He remembered everything about her, the things she did, how she was probably the most unbiased person he met. His body still shivered and he closed his eyes for a moment.
"Ted." She giggled, "Come on, Ted. This isn't funny."
"Then why are you laughing?" He smirked, poking the tip of her nose with his finger.
"I'm laughing because this is ridiculous." Abigail replied, and then frowned. "How long do I have today?"
His eyebrows knit forward in confusion. "What do you mean?" Ted asked, "Oh…" He trailed off.
"Yeah, 'oh'." Abigail bit her lip; any signs of happiness had vanished from her face, being replaced by a subtle sadness.
"As long as you'd like."
"We both know that isn't true, Ted. "
"Well," he sighed, "what do you want me to do, Abigail? I can't spend every second with you."
"I'm not asking you to, Ted." She rubbed her temples, "I'm just asking that you make a choice."
"What? Do you want me to choose between you and everyone else? Do you want me to pick you or them? Abandon my other friends, just for you?" He asked, whipping questions at the woman across from him.
"No…just whether I'm really your friend or not." She stated bluntly. "I've never complained before, Ted. Never. I just want to be able to be your friend, without having to be hidden from everyone else."
"You know why I can't do that…" He began.
"No, I don't, Ted." She sighed. "I gotta go, your friends are here." She slid back her chair and stood, draping her coat over her arm. "I'll see you later, Ted." She gave a small wave before she turned and walked away.
That was the last time he saw her alive.
Bringing himself to stand, Ted slowly walked back to the laptop. Pressing 'play', he took in a breath.
Abigail's face moved again. "You know, you're not the only one who helped kill me. The role you played is minor compared to some of the others. Hell, some were what shoved me over the edge. You? You just pushed me to it. I hope you take this as a lesson, Ted. The lesson of life and death, and the delicate balance between it. How delicate and fragile people can be, and how they can only be strong for so long until you finally break. Hairline fractures spread, cracking and scratching the surface beyond repair. I'm sorry it had to end like this, Ted. You really were a good friend, if only it didn't have to be a secret. You know the saying, secrets really don't make friends." The image faded to black. Ted gulped, looking away from the screen. His phone rang, signaling a text message.
Ted ignored it, getting up and slipping his jacket on. Popping a mint into his mouth, he shut the laptop and left the room.
"I'm sorry, Abigail."