My, this story is just so much fun. This chapter will be a bit slower, with less humor, but I needed to set up a couple things for later. So, here we are.
This is my last update for all stories until after Christmas/New Year's, depending how the holidays run out. But at the very least, there will be nothing else until the 26th.
Have a sugary holiday!
Klaus had hardly noticed how he'd begun idly scratching his arm until Elijah pointed it out. Wildly, he looked down to his left side. When he turned his forearm slightly, bits of something grainy and flesh-toned caught the light. He brought the appendage closer to his face, his jaw tensing.
"Nik, that's disgusting," said Rebekah disdainfully.
Before he could retort, Caroline whirled and clapped her hands commandingly. She put her cheerleader vocals to use. "Okay! Everyone not going crazy, let's grab a drink downstairs. You guys have drinks, right?" At Elijah's complying nod, she grinned. "Perfect." Her smile vanished when she looked over her shoulder at Klaus, apparently still disapproving of his making a potential orphan of some silly child in a Spiderman costume. "As for you, go shower. Rebekah's right—that is gross."
Disbelief-turned-rage stained his words as he gestured to his toweled lower half. "Are you blind? I've already showered. How dare you assume—"
"So shower again," she said, unaffected by his tone. "We'll be downstairs. And once we're all laughing at this perfect example of karmic justice, maybe we'll try to help you. You know, if we decide you deserve it."
Klaus found it so difficult to believe that any immortal being could be so uptight over snapping a woman's neck. What had she expected? The shrill woman and her wailing child had attempted to thwart his rightful—if also shameful—pursuits of candy.
He glowered darkly at Caroline, but she only took that as acquiescence. Casting fascinated glances at him, everyone finally heeded his demands (really, her suggestion, but Klaus's dignity had suffered so much he imagined it was fair for him to assume he had some hand in their eventual willingness) and left his room.
Then Klaus was alone amongst candy wrappers glimmering in a silent tune that sang of his shame.
Klaus began to subconsciously scratch again; unaware of his actions until bits of hard, sand-like material began to accumulate under his nails. Disgusted and angry with himself, he threw the towel from his waist and stormed to the shower. Because he wanted to now, not because Caroline said to.
Yet the longer he stood in the heated spray, the less clean he felt. All the scrubbing in the world couldn't erase the complete and utter humiliation he'd faced in the hands of so-called enemies and, most importantly, the critical beauty that was Caroline. Just thinking of her translucent blue eyes in terms of the glittering rock candy he so craved in that moment drove him to scrub and scratch. His skin went raw then healed then raw then healed again.
Klaus almost wished to kill the woman he yearned for just so she couldn't remember him like that: panicked, desperate, and fighting the urge to shovel down handfuls of any confection he could get his Hybrid hands on.
He took his time in the shower, remaining even after the water had gone cold as snow. Eventually and grudgingly he turned off the spout and stepped out to towel himself off—again—before redressing. Sullen anger kept his mood low.
Prior to descending the stairs he double-checked to ensure his skin was smooth and intact.
Satisfied, he crept down with a predator's silence. Soon enough he found the four seated at an expansive dinner table fit for royalty. And his family had apparently taken advantage of its enormity given the three extra parties in his home now.
"What the hell is this?" he growled, narrowing his eyes at his siblings.
Rebekah pretended to examine her nails, so Elijah took it upon himself to answer. "Unfortunately, talking amongst the four of us led next to nowhere. So we invited reinforcements."
All could be well and good, Klaus supposed. It explained the witch at least—or former witch; whatever she was now. Bonnie Bennett's magical status seemed fluid as of late. But welcoming the doppelgänger and lesser Salvatore brother? This was more than merely assistance outreach.
His expression must have conveyed murderous intent, because Caroline leaned over the table. Her authoritative voice swelled and filled the room. "The good news is, we've all agreed to help."
"The bad news is it comes with stipulations," said Damon. His blue eyes were positively crackling with vengeful delight. Even worse, he was cheerfully sipping at Klaus's personal stash of 55 year-old Macallan Lalique.
Caroline shot the elder Salvatore a brief glare before she leaned back in her seat, primly pointing to an empty chair between Stefan and Elijah diagonally from her. "Sit," she ordered.
Klaus moved to, but before he did, he zipped over and swiped the scotch from Damon's grasp, glaring daggers at the man. Damon glared back, but kept his hand firm on the glass he had pilfered and took a defiant sip.
"If anybody deserves to be drunk for this debacle, it's me," declared Klaus. Then, because to hell with ceremony, he tipped the bottle neck to his lips and drank.
Once he'd taken his seat, still casting glares at everyone, Caroline spoke again. "We each have one demand. And yes, it is a demand. If you fail to meet any one of them, we've all agreed to just leave you to your fate." Her smile was sweet as pure sugarcane. "So I suggest you think long and hard before rejecting our offers."
Klaus scoffed. "We'll see."
For the first time, Elena spoke up. "I'll go first, since you took my candy." Klaus scowled at the reminder, and the look she gave him revealed she was just as unhappy as he. "You can't kill any more humans."
"Forget it." Klaus began to stand.
"However," Elijah hurried to add, resting his hand upon Klaus's shoulder with steely insistence. "Given it is you, we've already agreed that Elena's request shall have to be limited to the time you hold this… affliction."
That made the most sense, if it could at all. Everyone knew that once he was cured, he would go right back to his typical ways. Though the request tested his patience, Klaus grudgingly returned to his seat. He took another swig and fantasized about murdering the damned doppelgänger the moment his venom returned. Perhaps then he could slaughter all her neighbors and pile them upon her doorstep. That would teach her to make unreasonable demands of the Original Hybrid.
Elena sighed, blissfully oblivious to his dark thoughts. "Yes. Until you're cured, or whatever. Until then, consider this rehab."
Lovely. "Next," said Klaus curtly.
Bonnie chose to take the reigns. Her jaw set as she assessed Klaus with cold indifference. "You also can't leave this house without an escort."
Klaus nearly retorted to tell her where she could go and where to shove it, but he quickly reconsidered. A slow smile danced across his lips as he delicately sipped the scotch once more. "All right," he said amiably, much to the visible surprise of his peers. He flashed his teeth. "However, I only accept under the conditions that the escorts must be equal time and rotation amongst Rebekah, Elijah, and…" He paused for dramatic effect, his eyes roaming across the table until they came to rest on one person. "Caroline."
Nobody seemed surprised. Except, of course, the woman in question. "No way," Caroline announced loudly. She stood, slamming her hands on the marble table and narrowing her deliciously blue eyes. "You're not creeping on me that easily."
"Oh, yes, he is, and you'll allow it," Rebekah snapped. Her vehemence startled the younger blonde, leaving Caroline with her mouth open as Rebekah threatened, "Or I'll happily take over Nik's revenge fantasy and kill your Lockwood boy myself."
"That was not the deal," Elena protested.
Stefan closed his eyes in tired patience. "I thought we already agreed on only blackmailing Klaus."
"Thanks, mate," Klaus remarked with anger thinly veiled by over-exuberant cheer. That only earned him a slight eye roll from his former pal.
Rebekah also flashed her teeth, of which the fangs were already beginning to lengthen and point. "We also agreed to help my brother. Bastard that he is, if his requests are reasonable, I will ensure he gets as much care as your precious doppelgänger."
"As will I," said Elijah softly. The deadliness of his quiescence was unmistakable, lending a notable chill to the atmosphere. Ice crystals practically formed around the air he breathed.
Klaus couldn't help but savor his small victory. Very likely he could have cajoled his way into having Caroline as his only escort, but that would be too obvious. He enjoyed his subtlety as much as his overt cruelty.
Pleased, he leaned back in his chair, resting an ankle on his opposite knee as he raised the bottle in salute. "Isn't it just lovely when family looks out for each other?"
"Shut up, Nik," muttered Rebekah.
With a loud groan, Caroline put her head on her arms. She mumbled an agreement. If anything, it only sweetened the deal to thick, stewing molasses for Klaus. He could almost look forward to the rest of the requests.
"Who's next?" he asked with brittle glee.
Stefan's was a little odd; no harming Jeremy. But once Damon's demand became no harming Elena, Klaus could see they had worked the agreement in tandem. Soft-hearted Elena would have begged for her brother's safety, but the Salvatore men wouldn't have wanted her harmed either. And this way she could make her own silly moral appeal as well.
When they worked together and weren't too busy trying to share the same girl, the brothers could actually come up with decent plans.
Rebekah was next, her eyes sharp as she surveyed her brother. "Stop taking my beauty products," she said disdainfully. "Keep what you already stole, but you never—and I mean ever—take my loofa again."
"Stupid name for a stupid product," Klaus muttered, but he didn't see the harm in agreeing to that.
As for his brother, his desire was a bitter pill to swallow. "All I ask is that we don't dagger what's left of the Mikaelson clan," said Elijah. "Seems a small price to pay for our aid, does it not, Niklaus?"
Klaus sneered, but agreed. For now, at least.
Caroline went last. Shortly after Klaus realized she had timed it that way on purpose.
Her spine straight and voice cool, she said, "Let Tyler back into Mystic Falls."
Klaus slammed the base of the half-empty bottle to the table for emphasis, only his careful touch keeping it from shattering upon impact. The sound was enough to make others wince all the same. "I'd rather die of this wretched affliction," he announced vehemently.
"Fine," shot back Caroline. She stood, shoving the chair away from herself. "See if I care when you gorge yourself to death on Hersheys!"
"Given that I can't die, I'm quite certain your petty threat gets you nowhere."
"Why don't you go rob some charities while you're at it. Or Toys for Tots! Since you insist on being such an ass to the only people willing to help you!"
"You call allowing the lowly, groveling dog that attempted to kill me back in town an acceptable concession? Your help may as well be worthless."
Caroline's face flushed. Distantly, Klaus was irritated nobody intervened—apparently they were too fascinated by this dynamic—but most of him was riveted by her incandescent beauty, how she could be as sweet yet bitter as a Warhead, all while shouting at him. He would be lying if he said he didn't enjoy these spats at least a little.
"If you can't even do me this one small thing in exchange for your well-being, then consider yourself out of options," said Caroline furiously.
Elijah did then cut in, resting a hand on Klaus's tense forearm as he leaned in and murmured so quietly that even supernatural ears aside from his brother's couldn't pick it up. "In reality, Niklaus, it is a small favor. And you have her company often enough with your earlier negotiation, don't you?"
No, he didn't. Not at all. But even as he fumed, Klaus saw the shutters in Caroline's eyes closing so tight that nearly all the exuberant light that was her spark went out. He growled and roughly shook his brother off, tilting the scotch back and finishing the bottle in a few fell swallows.
And then he stood, clenching his fists, his voice tight as he addressed Caroline. "He may temporarily return. But should he take so much as a step toward me with murderous intent, I will remove his still-beating heart before your very eyes."
She didn't budge, watching him with careful suspicion. "Define temporarily."
"Until I am cured," he retorted.
Caroline shook her head, blonde curls swaying. "Minimum one year. You know we work fast."
"One week."
"Don't test me," she said.
Tension coiled the muscles in his back. With swiftness that made others jump in his periphery, Klaus spun and slammed the bottle against the table, sending glass spraying. The girls cried out and covered their faces, while the men both shouted and vacated the area. But Caroline remained in her place, as did Klaus, and they matched heated stare for stare.
"One year," Klaus finally agreed. Or, well, he assumed he agreed. He meant to, but his vision was so tinted with red that he almost thought he had snapped and slaughtered everyone in the room.
Only then did Caroline relax. "Thank you."
He refused to acknowledge her thanks. Instead opting to jostle Elijah bodily when his brother attempted to speak to him, Klaus stalked out of the kitchen and toward the back of the house. He needed distance from these people and their unreasonable demands.
His sister apparently chose to remain blind to this need, because she was hot on his heels. "Wonderful job, Nik. We ask a few minor favors and you do your best to alienate the only person not family who gives a damn about you," she scolded.
Klaus barked out a short, derisive laugh. "Minor? Your definition of the word is skewed, dear sister."
"Yes, how dare we ask you not to be a complete arse until we find some sort of cure," said Rebekah sardonically. "My apologies for being so selfish."
"At least you had the sensibility to be fair," Klaus snapped, turning on his heel so quickly that she had to screech to a halt to avoid colliding with him. "Allowing that dog back here? He'll start scheming in no time. And so long as I'm confined to this house, and I continue to have these infernal cravings, you all expect me to roll over and show my belly for him to tear apart!"
Rebekah put her hands on her hips, visibly exasperated. "Do you really think we'd let him actually kill you?"
Klaus narrowed his eyes shrewdly at his sister. "Possibly."
She sighed and shrugged. "We're going to help. Okay? Even the little witchy girl said she might have some way to find out what sort of curse you're under."
He was doubtful thanks to her recent confusion when it came to magic, but Klaus chose not to pick that particular fight. "And the Lockwood idiot?"
His sister tossed her blonde hair over her shoulder, flashing a smile that showed off her brilliant teeth. "Like I said. I'll take on your job if I must. Can't say I wouldn't enjoy the hunt at least a little."
Klaus at last cracked a small smirk. Traitor though she could be, it was always a delight to have Rebekah on his side when her bloodthirst ran high. And really, this could easily work to his advantage.
If only the crusty bits of his damned flesh would quit flaking off. Annoyed, Klaus scratched his cheek. At the same time, Elijah chose that moment to check in on them—alone, so he'd presumably played good, polite host and showed the unwelcome intruders out—and his mannerisms were much calmer than Klaus felt the situation deserved.
"I showed our guests the door and Niklaus, you're shedding again."
"I know," he snapped irritably, choosing to ignore Rebekah as she wrinkled her nose in revulsion.
But she said, "For god's sake, Nik, just use some of my lotion. I'll bend the deal for you to stop being disgusting."
Scratching at his shoulder beneath his sleeve, Klaus snarled, "If I could help it, I would!" But he couldn't quell the humiliated fury that promised to drown him when the tiny pitter-patter of crusty bits hit the hardwood floor. It sounded much like sand being slowly poured from a closed fist.
Still, neither he nor Rebekah expected Elijah to crouch to the floor and observe the shedding thoughtfully. Then, to the siblings' equal horror, the eldest Mikaelson licked his finger, swiped up the shedding, and popped it in his mouth.
Rebekah immediately turned and began gagging. Klaus, fearing his brother had also succumbed to madness, shouted, "What the bloody hell is wrong with you?"
Calmly straightening himself to his feet, Elijah ran his tongue over his teeth. His gaze turned inward, his brow perplexed.
"It's sugar," he announced.
Klaus stopped scratching.