You Should Be Here

Alexis shifted in her seat and looked up at Beckett curious. What was she going to say?

Beckett inhaled and let out a deep breath, "I can't change what happened, Alexis." Alexis nodded her head slightly in acknowledgment of her words. "If I'm going to keep this promise, which I fully intend on doing, then you and I have to agree to trust one another. We have a long road ahead of us and it's not going to be easy, but I want to make it as smooth as possible. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

Alexis inhaled, "You're asking me to trust you completely."

Beckett nodded. She didn't trust anyone after her mother's murder, "Yes."

Alexis picked at her cuticles and looked down and then looked up to Beckett. She smiled and chuckled slightly, "It's weird, because I already do. I think I got mad at you just because I needed to be mad at someone. Everything has changed. This wasn't supposed to happen."

Kate knew when Alexis said, this wasn't supposed to happen she was speaking of what had happened to her father. Not the petty anger that she had let out on Kate only moments ago. Beckett inhaled.

Kate touched Alexis' chin gently forcing her to look her in the eyes. Alexis' eyes were gloss covered as Kate spoke, "No, of course it wasn't supposed to happen. Though, it did and we are going to have to make this work for all of us. Your father included, okay?"

Alexis nodded yes then a bundle of unsteady words coated in hope spilled out, "We're going to be okay, right?"

"Yes." Beckett said too quickly for either one of them to believe.

Alexis looked away from Kate and inhaled a shaky breath. Then she looked back, "Is that it?"

Kate thought a moment, "I'm scared too." She admitted to the young redhead, feeling she needed to reveal a part of herself to Alexis. It showed she was human.

Alexis looked up to meet Kate's eyes with a trembling lip and then took Kate's hand in her own, "Well, I guess it's better to have someone to be frightened with than to be scared all alone." Alexis rationalized as tears started to make their way down her cheeks.

Kate nodded yes and the two stood and made their way back up to the loft. A new found trust and more importantly an understanding that Kate was trying her best, and yes, it was going to be a hard road for both of them. More than either one could ever care to imagine.

Kate woke on the couch to the smell of coffee brewing. She sat up and looked around to see Martha and Alexis in the kitchen already.

Martha met Kate's eyes first, "Katherine, good morning."

Alexis glanced in Kate's direction after she finished pouring the whip cream on her coffee.

"Good morning, Martha." Kate smiled a small smile as she stood.

"So…" Martha turned to make sure she was addressing Alexis as well, "What are everyone's plans for today?"

Alexis sipped at her coffee as she waited for Kate to answer first, "I need to go into work for a bit."

"Oh, well okay." Martha turned to face Alexis, "Alexis, dear, do you have any plans for today?"

"No." Alexis looked to Kate and then at her Grams, "Why Grams, what's up?"

"Oh, it's nothing dear." Martha waved her hand at Alexis as if she could hush her, and all at once show her that it was not her problem to worry about.

"Grams, it's obviously something." Alexis pried.

Martha looked to Alexis, "Why don't we go out for lunch and do some shopping today?"

Alexis knew her Grams copping mechanism for most things were to go shopping. She didn't really expect this to be any different, but at the same time she felt that her dad deserved a better way of copping than shopping. What was better? Did she mean a more drastic approach to copping? Hell she didn't know what she meant.

"That would be nice Grams. A bit like a girl's day out." Alexis pondered; knowing that is exactly what her Grams wanted was for her to love her idea.

"Yes, exactly." Martha smiled at Alexis. Alexis didn't really feel like going out, but she knew her Grams wanted to and most of all it would be good for her to get out of the loft. "Well it's settled then." Martha clasped her hands together, "Everyone is going out for the day."

Kate nodded as did Alexis and then Martha disappeared upstairs to most likely change into something to wear today as they wondered around the city. Alexis walked over to Kate and handed her a cup of coffee as she sat beside her.

"That was nice of you to go with your Grams." Kate said and Alexis looked at her odd.

"Well of course, why wouldn't I?" Alexis seemed a bit offended.

Kate smiled to herself knowing full and well that Alexis just wanted to stay home in her pajamas, "You're right Alexis. I don't know what I was thinking. Thanks for the coffee."

Alexis hesitated a moment as silence took over the conversation.

Kate stood and Alexis started, "Is it that obvious?" she asked Kate's back.

Kate turned and sat back down beside the little Castle, "It's okay not to want to do something, but in this instance I feel it's better to keep busy. When you're busy there is more to do and less to think of, you know?"

Alexis nodded yes and Kate stood back up again, "I'm going to go get dressed."

"Will you be here tonight?" Alexis wondered.

Kate inhaled, because she wanted to be, but at some point she had to go back to her apartment. While, she promised to watch over Alexis, that didn't mean she promised to move in for God's sake. "Probably, let's see what happens."

Alexis could agree to that and nodded, "Okay."

Then Kate turned and walked upstairs to change.

Soon everyone was dressed. Kate knocked on Alexis' bedroom door, "Bye Alexis."

Alexis quickly opened the door, "Oh, bye. Did you say goodbye to Grams?"

"Yes." Kate smiled and Alexis felt the moment suddenly become awkward. As if, Kate was forcing herself into a parental figure that she was not use to being in. Only, because she had all too quickly become someone's parental unit, but it wasn't forced.

"Bye, Kate." Alexis said as she watched Kate walk down the stairs. For a weird moment she wanted to follow Kate down the stairs and go with her to the precinct, but only for a moment.

The elevator to the 12th opened and allowed her to see the bullpen in its entirety. She inhaled a deep breath as she walked in to the room full of detectives. She could feel everyone's eyes on her. She hated it. It felt as if she couldn't breathe, and so she escaped to the break room. That was a mistake. She stood as memories flooded her limbic system. Castle getting the cappuccino machine delivered, because their coffee tasted like, 'monkey pee mixed with battery acid.' And again when the machine exploded and Castle claimed he almost died. The boys and she just laughed at him.

She looked at the door. He should be bursting through it any moment now with that goofy grin. That would have made her happy, would have made her feel like there was a God. Instead she stood in the middle of the break room as it started to spin in slow motion. Memories assaulted her mind yet again. Late night take out, coffee, the boys and Castle. Castle.

"Beckett are you okay?" Ryan asked. She looked up to see Esposito next to him.

Though, what do you say when tears are streaming down your face in front of everyone you know? It was obvious she wasn't okay.

Beckett said nothing and the three stood in the break room in a deafening silence.

As Alexis and Martha walked out of the door to the loft Alexis noticed that while Beckett had striped the couch and put the blankets in the washer, she hadn't taken her overnight bag with her to work. For a moment that was enough to make Alexis smile slightly. Then her Grams shut the door and they walked down the corridor and out of the building.

Beckett sat down in one of the chairs as Esposito and Ryan stared at her, "He should be here."

Espo and Ryan nodded in agreement. Then the door to the break room opened as Victoria Gates came bursting through it, "DETECTIVE ESPOSITO?!" He turned to face his captain and gave her a glance. It was only then Gates saw Beckett and inhaled. "You two out. Esposito I will deal with you later."

Beckett watched as the boys left the break room and Gates came and sat down next to her, "Detective why are you here?"

"I need to know what is going on. Detectives Ryan and Esposito need me." Beckett stated.

Victoria Gates inhaled and adjusted her glasses atop her head, "You need more time. You're in no shape to work a case."

With gloss covered eyes Beckett shook her head no, "I'm fine."

Victoria pinched her nose as she exhaled, "You don't really believe that, do you detective?" Beckett looked up and met Gates dark eyes. They were warm, not cold and steely at all. "Sometimes, every now and then, it's okay to let yourself break. You will get better and stronger. Though, it has nothing to do with time, for everyone heals at their own rate. So, take as much time as you need, Beckett. Did throwing yourself into your work help you overcome the loss of your mother?"

His books helped her, "No."

"Go home, detective. That's an order." Gates said.

Then she left Beckett sitting in the break room alone. The sinking feeling was back, she knew she couldn't stay long and she wondered what Espo was getting chewed out for. She aimlessly looked around the break room. Nothing had changed, but everything had changed. Because there was one thing missing and it was something that was irreplaceable. She stood and exhaled a shaky breath as she whispered, "You should have been here."

Alan Morton worked quickly and was sufficient at what he did. He picked the lock to his client's house and within minutes installed hidden cameras in the house. His boss had told him he would need to know when Alexis Castle, Martha Rodgers and Katherine Beckett were coming or going.

Alexis paused at a newsstand her jaw hanging. She picked up the paper and quickly showed it to her Grams, "What the hell is this?"

She held out the paper which announced her dad's death on the front page. So, you had to die to get on the front page? That wasn't the worst part. The worst part was that it mentioned his only child; 'Alexis Castle' was his only heir. This obviously insinuated that she had just inherited a lot of money. It even had a picture of her smiling face hugging her dad at one of his events on it.

"Oh, no." Martha brought her hand to her mouth.

"We should call Kate." Alexis suggested.

"Yes, of course." Martha agreed, "We need to talk to Alan, our attorney, about this too."

Alexis shook her head agreeing with her Grams. The front page was never good, but letting the public know that you just became a multi millionaire was too far. That put Alexis and anyone else that was close to her in danger.

It was around three o' clock when Beckett answered her cell, "Beckett."

"Katherine, have you seen the front page?" Martha asked.

"No." Beckett said as she waited on the subway.

"Alexis and Richard are on the front page." Martha said.

"What?" Beckett wasn't asking a question and Martha knew it.

"Find a paper. I think what they wrote may have compromised Alexis' and my safety." Martha stated.

Beckett walked over to a stand and looked at the paper. Oh, God. "I just saw one, where are you?"

"We just walked in the door." Martha let her know.

"Okay, I'll be there soon." Kate said and Martha knew she would.

Martha hung up and then turned to Alexis, "She said she would be here soon."

Alan's boss felt a little guilty as he watched Katherine Beckett rush into the loft from his laptop. Alexis held up the paper to show Kate, and Martha held her hand to her head, worried.

Beckett finally stopped pacing and looked up to Alexis and Martha, "You're right. Alexis is now more of a risk now that the general public knows that she is Castle's only heir. Though, the public knows that Castle has been married twice before. They may assume that Meredith and Gina didn't sign prenups."

"They didn't." Martha confirmed unaware she was on camera.

Alexis spoke up, "Though, dad wouldn't leave mom with nothing. Gina…okay, she's his publisher. Plus, she's just Gina. She will get enough of that money. Though, that's beside the point. I'm still in danger, and I don't even know from whom! It's not like dad is Steven Spielberg or Brad Pitt anyway." Alexis said insinuating he wasn't very famous.

"Alexis, he may not have been, but the public will think what it wants and people have good imaginations. Besides, we don't even know if you are in danger for sure. It's only a possibility, we should all take precautions." Beckett said, if only she knew that everything she said was being recorded and the three of them were being watched.

"Why this too?" Alexis said as her eyes glossed over and she walked into her Grams arms.

"I don't know, sweetie. I don't know." Martha soothed Alexis as Beckett sat down on the couch her hand rubbing the bridge of her nose. Alexis was right. This wasn't supposed to happen, and he was supposed to be here. Though, that was then, and this was now.

Placing both hands on her head Beckett exhaled, "You should be here."

Alan Morton's boss watched the three women intently. He noted that none of them were doing well. This would not help them if in fact something were to happen. It would only make it easier for a job to be carried out. Alan's boss smiled a tight lipped crooked smile, and touched the screen, "Soon."