10 Years Later

Haru knew immediately that she had fucked up when she opened her eyes. Once she'd woken up it had only taken a fleeting and bleary moment that could not have lasted longer than a second or two for alarms to start going off. Nothing was the way it should be. There was an awful, pounding headache filling her skull, but she knew despite her inability to think straight in that moment that this was wrong. There were rays of morning light slipping in through the curtains which meant she couldn't possibly be in her own room on the west side of the mansion, not to mention those lush curtains were far too nice for her own quarters. The bed was wrong, too. It was raised too far up off the ground and the bedding was soft and luxurious silks while the mattress was too soft and comfortable to be hers. Even the size of the bed was wrong. It was far larger than her full sized bed, and there was even a canopy and this was wrong. She sat up in a panic only to glance around the room once more and realize in utter horror that she knew where she was.

She couldn't have. She'd been awfully drunk though, and didn't Hayato just love to berate her about her 'loose' tendencies when under the influence? But no. She wouldn't have done this. Could not have done this. She knew the tug in the back of her mind that said it was what she'd always wanted, but no. Not like this. Please not like this. Haru didn't have to look to know that she was naked, the gentle shift of the sheets against her skin told her that. And she had woken up enough now to recognize the heat of another body next to her. She tried to breathe. Kyoko. Oh god, what would would Kyoko think of her? And Tsuna? What would he say? How would he look at her now? The body next to her moved and her eyes were drawn to them against her better judgement. Soft brown hair fell over his face as he blinked away the grogginess, a silly, satisfied smile on his lips. His eyes reflected the early morning light, and Haru could have sworn there were fires raging behind them.

"Mornin'," he slurred, reaching a hand out to trail up and down her arm. She tried not to lean into the touch. She shouldn't be enjoying this, not when it was a betrayal on every level. She opened her mouth for a moment before snapping it shut again. There were no words. How was he so calm? How was he not flying into a panic? How did he not seem to understand that this was a mistake? His mistake. Oh, how she'd alway wanted and wished for this. After Tsuna and Kyoko had started dating back in their school days, she had vowed to be their loyal friend. She loved them both so dearly, so it was only natural for her to support them. They made each other happy, and she'd thought that would make her happy, too, but it hadn't. It had only made her miserable. After high school, while her and Kyoko and Hana were in college, with everyone else they truly cared about a seeming world away, she had drowned herself in that misery. It had been bitter and burned its way down her throat, but it had made her forget that while the other two girls were pining for their loves that were out of reach, she alone got to enjoy the whims and woes of college. She alone was the only one that got to surround herself with men, and didn't they ever line up for her? The three girls were all beautiful, but Kyoko and Hana were taken, so Haru was left to collect the broken hearts. She seemed to fix all of them save her own. She was still alone in every way that mattered. She'd get drunk and fall into bed with whichever handsome face struck her fancy and she'd pretend they were him. That, even if it were only for a night, he'd chosen her. It had been her secret fantasy. A go-to remedy to make her feel better so that she could keep being the chipper pillar of support everyone needed her to be. Sometimes she wondered if anything would change even if she did let herself crumble.

Tsuna loved Kyoko. Had always loved her, and always would love her. Haru knew that. Everyone knew that. He would never betray her, but he just had. With Haru. She felt her eyes sting with hot tears. Once they'd finished their general education courses, the three girls had flown out to Italy for the summer. Haru had felt alive again with Tsuna and his family. She'd missed him. She'd missed Chrome and Lambo and Takeshi and Hayato and everyone else, too. It had felt like coming home to be with all of them again, even if it was in a strange place where she couldn't speak the language. When summer ended Hana flew back to Japan, as she'd planned. Her and Ryohei didn't seem to be bothered by their long distance relationship. Haru had enrolled in an Italian university and was ready to learn and to be of use to her family anyway she could. She'd thought Kyoko was ready, too. But when summer ended, Haru watched Tsuna put her on a plane to America and come back to the mansion just to lock himself in his room for several long days. Haru had felt a righteous fury with her best friend then, but it wasn't her place. Tsuna came out of his room and resumed his duties to the famiglia, seemingly more motivated by her departure than anything else. Haru knew better. He was throwing himself into his work to distract from the heartache. She'd done it enough to know.

When she asked Kyoko why, she'd said she wanted to be free to enjoy her youth. "You don't get it! You got to party and sleep around and have fun while we were in Japan! But I had Tsuna; I always had Tsuna. So I didn't get to do that." Haru wouldn't have done any of that, would never have even wanted to do any of that, if she had Tsuna. "I just- before I settle down and get married and everything, I want to have fun, y'know? Like you did. So we're taking a break is all. When I'm done in America, I'll come back here, and Tsuna and I can get married, but first I want to experiment. See what the world has to offer me? Tsuna can see people, too, I don't mind. I've only ever been with Tsuna, and he's only ever been with me. We should both get out there a little more before we settle down for the rest of our lives, don't you think?" Objectively, Haru understood where she was coming from. Most people did not marry the first person they ever dated. Most people got to learn and love through trial and error before they found the right one. Subjectively Haru couldn't understand what Kyoko thought the world could offer that Tsuna did not already provide. He wasn't perfect, no, but he was wonderful. Tsuna was kind and strong, long-suffering and slow to anger. He loved his famiglia as if they were blood, even Haru, who had so little to offer. He protected them and inspired them. He was everything. Worst of all was that she understood Tsuna well enough to know that he wouldn't feel the same about this separation. He'd just gotten her back for a single season, after several years of trying desperately to make it work long-distance while still managing the Vongola. And now she was leaving again. This time, without the promise of fidelity or devotion. And Haru suspected that Kyoko knew as well as she did that Tsuna would wait for her regardless. The mafia kept him far too busy for him to try meeting someone new, and he wasn't the type to sleep with a stranger. No, he would wait for as long as she wanted. She could make him wait until they were gray in the hair and he'd do so happily. Such was his devotion to her.

Haru bitterly thinks that a stranger would have been better. The tears fell, making dark droplets on the fine sheets and Haru was certain they were mocking her. All at once Tsuna was sitting up, cupping her face in his hands as he swiped away the spiteful tears with his thumbs. His eyebrows knit together in confusion, worry, and just a hint of panic. Poor, sweet Tsuna. She didn't deserve even this small kindness from him. Not anymore. "Haru! Haru, what's wrong? Why are you crying?" He pauses and bites at the bottom of his lip. "I'm sorry." Tsuna takes his hands away and moves further from her, and she has to bite her own lip to keep from calling him back. "I-I'm sorry. If you- If you didn't want this. I just thought-" Oh god, no.

"No! No, Tsuna-san! It's not that! I promise, it's not that." She can't keep the frantic, almost desperate tone out of her voice. "I'm the one who should be sorry. I- I knew you were lonely, I took advantage, even though you have Kyoko."

He laughs then. Actually laughs and she thinks she might sincerely want to hit him upside the head with one of his ridiculously fancy pillows. "I don't have Kyoko. She broke up with me," he says, a sadness flickering across his features. His eyes flit back to her and the sadness melts away. "Haru, if that's what you're upset about then you don't have to be."

"She didn't break up with you! You're just taking a break," it sounds silly even to herself, but she knows it's wrong. "It's different," she mumbles, twirling the sheets in her hands.

Tsuna crawls back over to her from where he'd stranded himself on the edge of the bed. Haru can't help but admire his muscled torso, visible now that he's not dragging the sheets with him as he moves. "It's the same. She left me, Haru. She's in America, dating whoever she wants. I'm allowed to do the same." He puts his hand over hers, stilling her fidgeting.

"It's not the same! It is different! And-and even if it weren't, you can't with me! I'm her best friend!" She was crying again and Tsuna wrapped his arms around her while he pulled her into his chest. She shook in his arms, but he didn't seem to mind.

"Haru?" he asks after her sobs have gone quiet. She makes a noise in response and Tsuna continues, "Haru, this wasn't a mistake. Being with you wasn't a mistake. I didn't get into bed with you by accident; I chose to. I chose you." It was all she'd ever wanted him to say, her dream come true, but then she thought of Kyoko and wanted to cry all over again. He didn't get it. "Haru, say something." She made a noncommittal sound and he pulled away to look her in the face. "Actual words, Haru, don't act like a child."

She pouted, "I am not acting like a child."

"Then look at me, and tell me you didn't want this." She did not. "Haru, I know you. Don't feel guilty about this. Neither of us has done anything wrong." But they had. "I didn't get drunk and sleep with you on a whim, Haru. I care about you. And I've been thinking about this for a while." No, no, no. He touched her cheek and brought her face to face with himself. "Haru, if you don't want this, if you honestly don't want me, just say the word. We can put this all behind us. I just want you to be happy." It's his negotiating voice, the one he uses when he's trying to keep a poker face on. He's unreadable. He's unreadable as he gives her an out. She takes it.

Tears fall again and she makes no move to stop them, "I don't want this." She grabs the first thing she lays a hand on and bolts out of the room. Haru tells herself that she only imagined the hurt flashing across his face when she ran.

The fabric she grabbed turns out to be Tsuna's boxers and she haphazardly pulls them on while she all but sprints through the halls. It's still early, so she might not run into anyone, but- CRASH.

"Watch where you're going! What kind of an idiot runs through the halls-" his words die in his throat as silver eyes register her form sprawled out on the ground in front of him. Haru's heart plummets. Why? Why him? Hadn't the world punished her enough? She knew the answer was no. "Haru? What are you?" His eyes are calculating and she knows he's putting the puzzle pieces together faster than she'd like. Haru scrambles to her feet and covers her bare chest before she runs from him, too. He calls after her, but she ignores him. He doesn't chase her, and she's grateful. By the time she reaches her rooms she's gasping for air. She throws herself on her bed and tries to catch her breath to little success. Everytime she gets more air in it just escapes as a pitiful moan. She wraps her own sheets around herself and upon noting their coarser fabric, she relaxes just a bit. This is her bed. There's no sun filtering in through her simple curtains. This is where she belongs. By herself. Haru cries herself to sleep.

By the time she wakes up again it's already evening. She grimaces as she registers how sore her body is. She strips off the boxers, only pausing momentarily as she realized she had never taken them off. She tosses them into the laundry basket in the corner. She'll deal with those later. In the meantime she just climbs into the shower with the heat on as high as she could bare. She exhales slowly once the bathroom steams up, only then beginning the impossible task of trying to wash the filth of what she's done down the drain. Her skin is red and raw by the time she deems herself clean. She knows she isn't. Not really. Haru turns off the water and tosses her long hair up in a makeshift bun before wrapping a towel snuggly around herself. She walks out of the bathroom without looking in the mirror. She can't face herself yet. She knows she'll have to eventually. But not yet. Not yet.

Immediately following the click of the bathroom door closing behind her she seriously starts to debate whether or not she should turn right back around into the bathroom and lock the door behind her. Hayato's eyebrow twitches as if he can read her mind, a scowl firmly in place on his handsome face. It just had to be him.

"Get out." Her voice comes out raspy and not at all demanding.

"No." Comparatively his voice crackles with power. After she found out about Hayato's upbringing she always thought it a shame he was born a bastard. He would have made an excellent boss. He was equal parts dangerous, intelligent, and commanding. The thought sends a thrill up her spine and she shakes it off before huffing and marching past him to drop onto her bed.

He breathes out a heavy sigh and she can almost feel the exasperation radiating off of him in waves. "What do you want?"

"Eat." She raises her head to eye him and realizes there's a little folding table next to her bed with food on it. As if he senses the question, he answers, "You haven't eaten all day, right?"

Haru gives a small nod before reaching for the plate. It's all fruit slices and toast with a few strips of slightly burnt bacon. Her stomach growls and she becomes hyperaware of how empty her stomach feels. Haru digs in.

After she's gotten through about half the plate and started slowing down Hayato speaks again, "You know you're an idiot, right?" Ordinarily she'd scoff and argue with him, but her mouth is full so she settles for rolling her eyes. "You shouldn't run around the halls half naked." She chokes on an orange slice and glares at him.

"What do you want, Hayato?" She doesn't use his first name often, despite the fact that he pretty much always uses hers. It feels personal in a way she doesn't like. Sounds too intimate rolling off her tongue. Nevermind they've known each other for over a decade. Nevermind that they are technically friends. He's never felt like a friend. The word doesn't sit right between them and neither really knows why. So they say they're friends and keep each other at arm's length when they both know they should be closer. Maybe it's because they understand each other a bit too much. They can't hide their ugly truths because they're reflections of one another. They both hate what they see.

"I want you to fucking talk to me." She chews her toast as defiantly as she can as the silence stretches. He sits down on the bed and steals a discarded crust from her plate. "I tried to talk to Tsuna, but he doesn't want to talk about it."

"I don't either."

"The difference is I don't care. Talk to me."

When Haru continues to just chew her food he takes the plate away. Haru turns to glare at him but he's already there, glaring back at her. Conceding defeat she flops backward on the bed, idle strands slipping from her bun and soaking her sheets. Hayato puts the plate back on the table a bit more forcefully than needed judging by the shattering sound and the drawn out groan that follows. She can see him running his hands over his face from the corner of her eye. "Dumbass."

"You hurt his feelings. He's gonna be mopey for days. Which means nobody's going to get any work done for days." she rolls her eyes again.

"I fucked up," she confesses. The admission hangs in the air for a moment before he deigns to respond.

"No shit." She hates him sometimes. Somehow the way he's handling all of this, not hedging around the issue at all, is exactly what she wants. He's always been brutal and honest. She needs that right now. Maybe that's why she hates him sometime. She hates him for being exactly what she needs.

"I'm sorry." There are tears in her eyes, but she doesn't put much effort toward holding them in. Hayato's seen her cry a dozen times before. It's always embarrassing and awful, then he makes fun of her and drags her through the mud while holding her or comforting her somehow. His words never seem to match his actions. She always feels better afterward though.

"What for?"

That catches her off guard and all she can manage in response is a stupid, "Huh?"

"For sleeping with him or for running off this morning?" Her heart breaks a little more. Hayato's voice sounds hoarse, raw, just how how she feels.

"Thought you said he didn't tell you anything." Haru knows she's being petty, picking apart his words. But there's a small twinge of irritation at his remark.

Hayato lays down on the bed next to her, both of them staring up at the ceiling. "He didn't need to. It wasn't hard to figure it out." Of course he knew what was going on, but he could try to be gentlemanly about it.

She sighed, "I'm just sorry.

"It's okay." Somehow, coming from Hayato, it sounds true. She knows it's not, but just for a little while, just so she can breathe, she lets herself believe him. It frightens her how easy that is. She rolls onto her side towards him, curling in on herself and he reaches over with one arm to hold her hand while she cries. They don't look at each other. Neither of them is ready to face their reflection. Not yet.

Author's Notes: I'm dead. Deceased. This is being posted from the afterlife. I'm in the middle of moving because I got a new job and have to move to another state so yeah. My life is just a mess and I'm really not coping. This is kind of angsty and I actually wanted to post this part of the story further along but I wanted to write it now so here it is. I'm a big fan of Haru in general. I find her a very compelling character. She and Gokudera have so much in common and I really feel like that's why they don't get along half the time. They both deserve the world. If it isn't totally clear this 10YL chapter is very much where the story becomes it's own and diverges from canon events. This actually takes place after they all would have traveled 10YL in the future, thus confirming that they exist in an alternate timeline from the one they traveled to. I did also get to work on my BNHA fic today so that should be updated in a matter of a couple of days. Hopefully. Movin Day is less than two weeks away for me and my car battery died so I'm just a WEE bit stressed out but I'll see if I can't update asap. The next couple chapters are all half-written, it's just the rest of The Bakugou chapter that I'm stumped with.

As usual, please comment and let me know what you like or what you would like to see happen!