A/N: Hey! Yet another update!
So please enjoy!
Disclaimer: I don't own Resident Evil or 12 pains of Christmas! Gosh they should write a song called the 12 pains of fanfics: disclaimers, disclaimers, disclaimers, disclaimers, disclaimers, disclaimers, disclaimers, disclaimers, disclaimers, disclaimers, disclaimers, disclaimers!
Wesker was walking down the sidewalk searching for "Mrs. Claus". He was still dressed like Santa so, to keep little kids happy, he still called her Mrs. Claus.
"Mrs. Claus!" he called out for her. "Mrs. Claus! Oof! Dammit, Excella get off me!"
Excella had leapt on to Wesker's back. "But if I let go," She said wrapping her arms around his shoulders, "you'll run away and go after that grumpy Ada."
"That's the point you sadistic psycho bitch!" Wesker growled struggling to get out of Excella's loving hug of doom, but she wouldn't budge.
"Um, guys." HUNK said trying to get everyone's attention.
"What?" Irving asked. He was really enjoying the little show Wesker and Excella were putting on.
"Isn't that Leon over there?" He pointed towards Leon who was walking out of a Christmas tree sale.
"I feel another song coming on." Wesker sighed. And, indeed, there was.
Leon: THE FIRST THING OF CHRISTMAS THAT'S SUCH A PAIN TO ME IS FINDING A CHRISTMAS TREE.
Wesker was confused. Was there a bad side to Christmas? He then noticed Chris trying to put up colored lights.
Chris: THE SECOND THING OF CHRISTMAS THAT'S SUCH A PAIN TO ME: RIGGING UP THE LIGHTS!
Leon: AND FINDING A CHRISTMAS TREE!
Excella turned and noticed Yoko stumbling out of a building.
Yoko: THE THIRD THING OF CHRISTMAS THAT'S SUCH A PAIN TO ME: HANGOVERS.
Chris: RIGGING UP THE LIGHTS!
Leon: AND FINDING A CHRISTMAS TREE!
Irving saw Carlos with a billion cards in his arms.
Carlos: THE FOURTH THING OF CHRISTMAS THAT'S SUCH A PAIN TO ME: SENDING CHRISTMAS CARDS.
Yoko: HANGOVERS.
Chris: RIGGING UP THE LIGHTS!
Leon: AND FINDING A CHRISTMAS TREE!
HUNK realized Jill was walking out of a store with five shopping bags and staring at her credit card.
Jill: THE FIFTH THING OF CHRISTMAS THAT'S SUCH A PAIN TO ME: FIVE MONTHS OF BILLS!
Carlos: SENDING CHRISTMAS CARDS.
Yoko: HANGOVERS.
Chris: RIGGING UP THE LIGHTS!
Leon: AND FINDING A CHRISTMAS TREE!
The Burtons walked by looking very unhappy.
Kathy Burton: THE SIXTH THING OF CHRISTMAS THAT'S SUCH A PAIN TO ME: FACING MY IN-LAWS.
Jill: FIVE MONTHS OF BILLS!
Carlos: I HATE THESE CHRISTMAS CARDS!
Yoko: HANGOVERS.
Chris: RIGGING UP THESE LIGHTS!
Leon: AND FINDING A CHRISTMAS TREE!
Barry: THE SEVENTH THING OF CHRISTMAS THAT'S SUCH A PAIN TO ME: THE SALVATION ARMY!
Kathy: FACING MY IN-LAWS.
Jill: FIVE MONTHS OF BILLS!
Carlos: SENDING CHRISTMAS CARDS.
Yoko: OH, GEEZ.
Chris: I'M TRYING TO RIG UP THESE LIGHTS!
Leon: AND FINDING A CHRISTMAS TREE!
Polly Burton: THE EIGHTH THING OF CHRISTMAS THAT'S SUCH A PAIN TO ME: I WANT A TRANSFORMER FOR CHRISTMAS!
Barry: CHARITIES! AND WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOUR IN-LAWS?!
Jill: FIVE MONTHS OF BILLS!
Carlos: UH, MAKIN' OUT THESE CARDS!
Yoko: PLEASE GET ME A BEER, HUH?
Chris shouted angrily at Claire.
Chris: WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE HAVE NO EXTENSION CORDS?!
Leon: AND FINDING A CHRISTMAS TREE!
Claire left her very angry brother to go look at the ticket that had been placed on her motorcycle.
Claire: THE NINTH THING OF CHRISTMAS THAT'S SUCH A PAIN TO ME: FINDING PARKING SPACES.
Polly: DADDY I WANT SOME CANDY!
Barry: DONATIONS!
Kathy: FACING MY IN-LAWS.
Jill: FIVE MONTHS OF BILLS!
Carlos: MAKING OUT THOSE CHRISTMAS CARDS.
Yoko: HANGOVERS.
Chris: NOW WHY THE HELL ARE THEY BLINKING?!
Leon: AND FINDING A CHRISTMAS TREE!
Lucia looked unhappily at the back of the box for her new Spy car.
Lucia: THE TENTH THING OF CHRISTMAS THAT'S SUCH A PAIN TO ME: BATTERIES NOT INCLUDED.
Claire: NO PARKING SPACES.
Polly: BUY ME SOMETHING!
Barry: GET A JOB YOU BUM!
Kathy: FACING MY IN-LAWS.
Jill: FIVE MONTHS OF BILLS!
Carlos: YO-HO SENDING CHRISTMAS CARDS!
Yoko: OH GEEZE, LOOK AT THIS.
Chris: ONE LIGHT GOES OUT THEY ALL GO OUT!
Leon: AND FINDING A CHRISTMAS TREE!
Rebecca stared blankly at the T.V. in the window of a store.
Rebecca: THE ELEVENTH THING OF CHRISTMAS THAT'S SUCH A PAIN TO ME: STALE T.V. SPECIALS.
Lucia: BATTERIES NOT INCLUDED.
Claire: NO PARKING SPACES.
Polly: MOM I GOT TO GO TO THE BATHROOM!
Barry: CHARITIES!
Kathy: SHE'S A WITCH I HATE HER.
Jill: FIVE MONTHS OF BILLS!
Carlos: OH, I DON'T EVEN KNOW HALF THESE PEOPLE!
Yoko: WHO'S GOT THE TOILET PAPER?
Chris: CLAIRE, GET A FLASHLIGHT I BLEW A FUSE!
Leon: AND FINDING A CHRISTMAS TREE!
Ark couldn't remember anything. Now, he was staring at the piece of music but was having a lot of trouble.
Ark: THE TWELFTH THING OF CHRISTMAS THAT'S SUCH A PAIN TO ME: SINGING CHRISTMAS CAROLS.
Rebecca: STALE T.V. SPECIALS.
Lucia: BATTERIES NOT INCLUDED.
Claire: NO PARKING?!
Polly: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Barry: CHARITIES.
Kathy: GOT TO MAKE THEM DINNER.
Jill: FIVE MONTHS OF BILLS!
Carlos: THAT'S IT! I'M NOT SENDING THEM THIS YEAR!
Yoko: SHUT UP YOU.
Chris angrily shoved the lights into Claire's arms.
Chris: FINE! YOU SO SMART, YOU RIG UP THE LIGHTS!
Leon: AND FINDING A CHRISTMAS TREE!
Wesker and his "elves" walked away very confused. Chris smiled to himself and turned to Claire.
"I think we did a good job!" he said. "There's no way he'll steal something nobody likes."
Wesker got on top of a building and began to shout: "I, Santa Claus, will put all carols on C.D.s, create new specials, make sure batteries are included, make it so there's always a parking spot, give your kids more toys-as usual, keep charities from learning your address and phone numbers, keep your relatives happy, pay off all your debts, send all your Christmas cards, find a cure for hangovers, put up your Christmas lights, and buy you all artificial trees!"
The entire street was in cheers for Santa. All of our heroes' jaws dropped.
"They love him more than ever." Jill pointed out.
"No shit." replied Claire.
"Well," said Chris, "I guess we'll just have to come up with something else.
A/N: Review please!