How Did We Get Here Chapter 4: Were Not Making Love No More, a grey's anatomy fanfic

Derek's POV:

Sure I've been in love a time or two
But in the end I still chose you
No one could ever make me feel this way
That's why it's killing me, what we're going through
Somehow thought 'tween me and you
Our love would stand the test of time and never ever fade

The rain was pounding against the windshield and it was difficult to see, especially through the tears that were pouring down my face. I drove and drove trying to make sense of what I saw at my house. I couldn't shake the image of my wife naked, legs spread while my best friend was pounding his cock into her. That image was permanently burned in my brain forever. I finally pulled up to a hotel and checked in once I got to my room I sat on the bed replaying the events of tonight in my head.

But we're not making love no more
We're not even trying to change
Tell me how it slips away
Does it ever stay the same
We don't even talk no more
We've ran out of words to say
Tell me it don't have to change
Won't it ever stay the same

I lied on the bed taking off my shoes and wet clothes, I realize I didn't bring and clothes with me and normally I wouldn't have to because if I ever got into a fight with Addie or didn't go home I went to Marks. But I can't go there now, he has ruined my marriage, Addie is mine not his. How could he do this to me? I love Addie she's my whole world and he just had to have her like everything else he has to have of mine.

Girl I know that things aren't going right
But don't you think it deserves a fight
A love like ours don't happen everyday
And we're losing it right as we speak
And if we don't wake up, it's a memory
A time gone past, a love that sailed away

I looked over at my cell and saw that Addison was calling again, my heart was telling me to answer it and tell her that I would see her tomorrow. But the other part of me is telling me to forget about her she didn't deserve anything from me. I held the phone in my hand before I put it down not knowing what to do or who to call. I laid there and tried to shut out the images of my Addie with Mark hugging the pillow beside me, it was hard to not have Addison beside me, even though things have been hard for us I almost always went to bed with her sleeping beside me. Even when we were fighting and would leave I would still go home and crawl into bed with her, smelling the smell of her coconut vanilla shampoo and just hold her in my arms it was just my way to remind her I loved her, but now I can't even go home knowing that another man was in my bed with my Addie, my Addie. The tears began to flow freely again at the thought of my Addie with him, him inside of her a place that has been only for me for the last 13 years. He was making love to my Addie and she was letting him, how could she make love to another man when she's supposed to make love to me.

Addison's POV:

I laid on the floor curled up in a ball crying smelling Derek's shirt I could still smell him on the shirt. I often wore that shirt when I was missing him, because it smelt like him and when he was gone as long as I wore his shirt I felt close to him. It took me forever to gain the strength to pull myself up off the floor, but I just didn't have the strength. I wanted so badly to just disappear into the floor and not feel this pain anymore. I can't believe that I slept with Mark, oh god how I wished it was Derek. My Derek oh god I've lost him oh god no I need him, I can't lose him without him I'm just Addison and I've been Addison and Derek for 13 years. How can I just go to being Addison.

I dream of lovers past and
I see a girl so sad cause
She lost the only man she loved
He went away
Well it's not too late for us
To change

I can't I can't I can't were Addison and Derek we have to always be Addison and Derek. We don't quit we can't we just can't. I can't breathe the tears continued pouring down her face falling creating a small pool on the hardwood floor. I have to call him, I have to hear his voice I have to I need him to come home and hold me like he always does, but I don't think he's ever coming home. The phone kept ringing and ringing and went to his voicemail, I hung up and called again and again not leaving a message. I want so badly to go back to when Mark showed up I shouldn't have let him in. How did this happen? I didn't want it to? I wanted Derek my Derek my Derek. I pound my fists into the floor getting angry with myself for allowing this to happen, how could I how could I be so stupid.

I finally manage to pull myself up off the floor and made my way up the stairs. Walking into the bedroom the memories of Mark on top of me filling me with his cock while I laid there imagining it was my husband, my Derek making love to me and not Mark. The image of seeing Derek looking at me with such disgust, anger and hurt is too much the only person I never wanted to hurt I hurt the most. I look at the bed and pull the blankets off carrying them downstairs and throwing them in the laundry room, I then turn around and curl up on the couch plunking in our wedding dvd. I laid there crying as I watched the happiest day of my life wondering how we got here.