A/N:

I'm sorry, it's been a while since I last updated. I want to thank those who have reviewed and followed this story, your encouragement have been very inspirational and I hope I'll keep making you (my dear readers) enjoy this story.

Chapter 4

Toushirou had never met any other woman more devious than her. This woman, Shimura Tae was the queen of demons herself.

Her first initial plan, which he had disagreed on; was to beat the man senseless and leave him naked on the streets, that was her 'sending Sougo to hospital' plan, but it was way too obvious and he can't really have a civilian beating up his subordinate.

Her second plan however was much better than the first, and it might even cause mental damage on their victim. Though honestly, at that point, Toushirou didn't really care anymore as long as he got Sougo off his back, he didn't even care if the boy might go crazy or not. Thus, he had agreed to it, even though it sort of- in a way- violated their bushido codes in so many ways, but to hell with it, because tonight he's not Hijikata Toushirou, he's not the demonic Vice-Chief of Shinsengumi. He's none other than… Agent Mayo.

Tae had gone and assigned that code name for him.

He kind of liked that name, thus why he did not complain, nor did he tried to pick his own, because he'd have picked that nonetheless. Not that he'd ever cared enough to give himself cheesy nicknames if he wasn't involved in her- their- crazy yet mind-blowing plan. The one plan that he'd spent the last hour scheming with Shimura Tae, in that one room in her house he didn't even know existed. Surely, not even Kondou-san had acknowledge the space even exists. It was some kind of a hidden room; one that existed beneath the storage room built somewhere around the corner of the backyard.

When Tae suggested they go to her house for their secret meeting, Toushirou was taken aback for a moment, reeling in the fact that she had openly invited him to her home where her overprotective brother resided; who probably just got off work, from Yorozuya, more specifically 'do-nothing-all-day' odd jobs Gin-Chan. Not surprisingly, she mentioned they could use the secret passage into her house to avoid her brother.

It was as if the woman was living in a stronghold. He'd heard about the brazen amount of traps laid around the house; which his commander had fallen to victims on several times before and the gorilla wasn't the only victim.

Well he was glad, at least he had not been foolish enough to fall into one, and be one of the idiotic groups who had nearly killed themselves in that very dojo.

Toushirou sneezed when the cold night breeze caught up to him. Hiding behind a spider-invested bush in the middle of the night wasn't part of the plan, but it was the most strategic hiding place in site.

"Are you alright Hijikata-san? Over-" her voice was spoken in a low whisper. Granted, she was somewhere out there stalking Okita Sougo's movement, wherever he was, it was loud. From the walkie-talkie, Toushirou could hear the loud music and some men laughing as if they were drunk over their heads.

"I'm fine. Over-" he responded with a sniff, before realization hit hit. "Hey wait, what happened to calling me Agent Mayo?"

"Um, I can't get myself to even call you that to be honest. Over-" there was a hint of disgust in her voice.

"What?! It was your idea!"

"Shh! Don't be too loud because someone might hear you. Over-"

"Tsk!" Troublesome woman! he cursed inwardly, though he'd much prefer to say it out loud but he refrained, not wanting to get punched in the face again.

"So, how are things going on your end? Over-"

"Fine, I'm just waiting for Yama- ehem- Mr. Average to finish the damn noodle. Over-" He was at the verge of forcing the entire bowl into Yamazaki's mouth. He hadn't really noticed before but- How could a guy possibly eat that slow?! The bastard took in every string of noodle carefully and chewed for at least twenty times for each mouthful as he was watching 'That Summer, The Wind Blows' drama on his television, crying as he did.

"He's still at it? Geez, no wonder looks so small and frail for a guy working in the law enforcement faction. Over-"

He couldn't agree more, even though it was an embarrassment to their Shinsengumi.

"What's happening on your side? Over-"

"I got S into the Okama club. Over-"

Toushirou quirked a brow, he hadn't heard anything about Okama club being involved anywhere in their big scheme. "Okama club? What-"

"Actually…"

"Wait a second, don't tell me you are-" he gritted his teeth and paused deliberately to let the woman who had made him squat in spider-ville for the last fifteen minutes tell him exactly why the plan had taken another turn. What he was doing right now, which by the way had earn him a lot of spider bites and his feet were probably swollen by now, was worth nothing and probably useless. How Tae had talked him into doing this in his own compound he couldn't even begin to fathom.

"Um, well, we might not need Mr. Average anymore. Over-"

"What on Earth- I just drop two dose of diarrhea pills into that bowl of noodle and risked my position as Vice-Chief while doing it." He tried to suppress his voice as best he could. "And now, I think I may have caught a rash from the angry mobs of spiders biting me for invading their personal bush!"

"Ugh, will you stop complaining? I didn't tell you because I've been quite busy here. Over-" She paused momentarily."… and partly because I don't want to anger you?" she said it like it was a question, her voice was suddenly spoken in a tone as sweet as honey. "So, I thought I'd just wait until I succeed here and then tell you, and that way you wouldn't be so mad. Over-"

"Well too bad I am beyond frustrated, woman!" She was afraid of him getting mad? Shimura Tae? She should look into the mirror. Who's afraid of whom getting mad? Maybe that's why he was squatting here like an idiot. To think, he had thought of her plan as brilliant. Well, damn it all. "And stop with the god damn 'over-' already!" he finished exasperatedly.

"Will it make you feel better if I said I'm sorry and I'll cook you my special tamagoyaki once this is all over?" she offered in measured tone.

"No, thank you. Your apology is enough."

"I'll add a desert for you, how about mayo-pudding?"

Toushirou narrowed his eyes at the walkie-talkie before he finally cleared his throat and in total defeat he said, "Fine, just the mayo-pudding and your apology then and no tamagoyaki." He'd die first than eat any kind of dark matter.

"Oh, don't be silly! The mayo-pudding comes in with the tamagoyaki."

Again with the dreadful mention of tamagoyaki. "Whatever, I'm getting out of here, because at this point, even the afterlife is better than here." With haste and subtlety, he sneaked away from the bush. Completely ignoring the fact that Yamazaki had finally started to show signs of the incoming agonizing pain in his seat.

"Then come here and make sure to bring a camera recorder with you."

"Excuse me, and correct me if I'm mistaken, I thought you said you'll bring your own camera recorder. What the hell happened?" Toushirou asked incredulously, could this woman ever get anything right? Not only her cooking's a failure, even her wicked scheming is a failure.

"Well, I did-no, I am, but actually, not anymore."

"What- why is that?" he inquired skeptically as he finally got himself on the other side of the wall fence from a hole that had seemingly existed because of his commander's stalking behavior. He always had someone cover it up and it'd be a hole again the very next day. It wasn't the normal hole for mouse or rodents to crawl in and out, it was actually a hole made big enough for a person to go through. He was concerned at first, thinking someone, or most-likely a criminal had snick into their hold at night, but when he spoke of it to Kondou and the older man pretends he didn't hear a word and changed the subject, Toushirou knew right then who the 'criminal' was.

"I-um…" Tae hesitated, and Toushirou swear she sounded almost embarrassed.

"You broke it didn't you."

"I said and done no such thing."

Toushirou almost smiled, he could bet on every yen he had that he was right. "Oh, I think you did. There's no reason to pretend you-"

"W-why do I have to explain myself to you? Just bring the damn thing! We don't have time for this."

"Alright fine!" Fortunately, he had his own cam-recorder with him the whole time, actually the only fortunate thing that had happened since the whole plan started. The spiders and Yamazaki were just bad luck. He was glad, he took precaution to bring an extra cam-recorder. "Tell me you know what you are doing there. What's the plan now?"

He could practically hear her shrugging from the other side of the walkie-talkie. "Pretty much the same, I guess. I thought- what could be more embarrassing than when you found yourself one morning waking up naked in a bed with an okama? And the person you hate most and current slave –that would be you Hijikata-san, have a record of all that in a video and made copies of it too."

The 'one morning waking up naked in bed' part all sounded too familiar to him, but it was a great plan nonetheless, one that doesn't include a constipated Yamazaki however. Even though a constipated Yamazaki would be as good. Imagine the amount of shit Sougo'll get under that bucket of- well, shit, literally and that'd be just the start, followed by Kamiyama's role, who was supposed to wake up naked with Sougo, but an okama-

"I figured, if we were to blackmail Sougo, might as well let my acquaintance; who is the willing and oblivious 'to our intention' party to take part, instead of the people you know well. You'll not believe how easy it is to get an okama all over Sougo, let alone the lot of them. They're shoving him sake. Lots and lots of sake."

Toushirou chuckled in amusement as he made his way to his destination. She was right, the less they involve someone close to them the better. How she got Sougo into Saigo Tokumori's okama club, he didn't care. As long as they'd succeed by the end of the night, he's content.

He can't wait to see how it'd turn out, would this woman be able to outwit the sly Sougo? Toushirou was in fact, afraid the young man would see through the whole attempt. But he was not a pessimist, and hoped everything would work out.

Shimura Tae was truly one wicked, yet commendable woman. She could get Sougo to back down like a puppy frightened by the alpha she-wolf, that he was sure of.

A/N: Do let me know if you enjoy this chapter. I know, Sougo can be difficult to trick since he's usually the one to trick and not the other way round. Our Hijikata-san may not be able to handle him, but what about Tae? Oh, and the drama Yamazaki's watching in this chapter is a reference to 'That Winter, The Wind Blows' a Korean drama (though I haven't watch it myself, mainly because I am not a fan of sad drama.). I decided to put that part in because I was reminded of the episode in the anime when Katsura goes to rent a drama (what was the title again?).