That Was the International Fag Association. They Want Their President Back.

"Are we there yet?" I groan irritably. I swear I've been in this ass-scented car with Isa for over an hour now. That traffic jam really took a toll on our travelling time. It added at least half an hour to our trip, probably more. It would explain why I want to rip Isa's face off. I'm just mad. Think about it. He lets this fart rip that smells like rotten eggs and moldy bread with parmesan cheese melted on it. It makes me want to throw up. So I roll down the window and hurl all over the side of his car. I don't get any on the inside, though. Then he yells and swears at me so we make a pit stop somewhere he can was his door off because it's covered in my barf.

"No, Axel, we're not fucking there! If you ask me one more time I'm going to kick your ass out of this car and you can walk home," he threatens, faint x-shaped scar that rarely shows flaunting itself. If you really look at it, it crosses his face completely. I used to call him x-face, but that started to piss him off and he would threaten me like he is now. I don't particularly like the idea of getting the shit beat out of me (because I know he actually would) but it's hard to take him seriously when he always does it, y'know?

I snort and pull my hood over my eyes, trying to hide them from the light reflecting off of little chunks of hail. Yay for mid-October precipitation; I enjoy it so much. "Don't flip a shit on me or anything," I say sarcastically, folding my arms coolly behind my head.

He makes a tsk sound at me. "Be happy I'm not beating you right now. You deserve it for puking on my baby."

I whine, "Dude, I already apologized! What more do you want from me?"

He curls his lip up with the slightest hints of a smile. "I want awesome sex, three kids, and a beach-side condo in Florida," he demands.

I stick my tongue out. "Yeah, fucking right—you can have that shit when I've got a steady job, a pet fish, and enough money to pay my rent for once in my life."

"You could always move in with me, you know," he says, suddenly serious.

Toto, we ain't in Kansas anymore. Isa's eyes have glazed over as he stares out at the road before us, unfazed as it flies by. His gaze is filled with longing and pain. I can see his face twist with sorrow. I can only imagine what is going through his head.

Isa has a lot on his plate that he doesn't like to talk about. His mom is dying of cancer. She's living in the hospice. His half-sister is a crazy, 'paranoid bitch'. He himself is doing everything he can to not lose his job at Kinko's in his random fits of rage because he has serious anger management problems. The smallest things infuriate him and he cannot even control the anger that blazes through him. And don't get me fucking started on the moon. It makes him think of his dad so every time he sees it he wants to kill something. He hates his dad. A lot.

"Isa…" I whisper, trying to keep him calm in case his thoughts have already differed to his father.

"I'm not gonna lie and tell you I don't really want you to move in with me, Axel," he tells me coolly, keeping his eyes set on the road as traffic clears up. He picks up the speed a little. "You're my best friend. I don't know what I'd do without you. And I know we joke about it a lot, but believe me when I say… I love you."

My mind fails to process that information. My mouth is hanging open under my hood. I look awestruck right now, for sure. If I looked happy I would be pissed. I just want to look freaked out because I fucking am!

Isa suddenly starts talking again after about six minutes. "Given, I hate you sometimes too. Just the good times weigh out the bad in the scheme of things. So next time you go off bitching about how bad you have it and how you don't have a boyfriend or a girlfriend or some shit like that, remember this."

X

"R-Riku, stop that! It fucking—ah!—hurts," Roxas whines. The barely five-foot-seven blonde hisses through his teeth; he is trying to toss his silver-headed friend off of him. He can't remove the teeth from the junction between his shoulder and neck. They dig deeper into his skin. Roxas is pressed against the wall of his own apartment, Riku latched onto him. Roxas moans unintentionally. Riku places cold, heartless kisses at different spots on the boy's neck.

He isn't enjoying it at all. He hates when this happens. He hates it so much. The possessiveness that Riku shows toward him is haunting. He tried to control the blonde. It was all because he couldn't have Sora and couldn't fucking accept it. At least that is what Roxas thought about it. He has his hands pressed against Riku's shoulders, doing everything in his power to force him off.

"P-please get off, Riku; you're hur—shit—ting me!" Roxas yells.

Riku crushes his mouth against Roxas', shoves his tongue in the smaller male's mouth almost immediately. Roxas tries to force him out. He tries to get rid of him. There's only one thing Roxas thinks to do. He bites down on Riku's tongue like he would bite into a huge piece of steak.

And Riku fucking screams; he stumbles backwards, covering his mouth and screaming. His eyes are dark, filled with unsettling lust for the one who rejected him.

Roxas pants. "I'm not… Sora…" he whispers, eyes watering. He shakes his head. "I'm just… not."

Riku's eyes go wide. Then they narrow in fury. He doesn't open his mouth to speak again. Instead, he just grabs Roxas by the bicep and glares into his eyes. He throws Roxas- who yelps –to the floor angrily. He pins him down by the wrists, stretching the arms above the mess of mustard-colored hair. He holds the wrists together with one hand then uses the free hand to undo the jeans on the boy. Riku is straddling his waist and considers himself in the perfect position to do this.

"You…disappoint me, Sora," he whispers, alcohol-laced breath hot on Roxas' face.

"I already told you, I'm not my fucking brother, Riku!" Roxas screams in his face, trying to wriggle free. It fails. "Sora is dead, Riku! How many times have I told you?"

Riku's left eye twitches.

Of course this is Sora. Sora was always like this. He was always so scared and timid when it came to do anything. He was scared to scale the building the first time they did it. He would never disobey his parents. But Riku thought so differently of Sora than Sora ever thought of him.

Sora had Kairi.

…Fucking Kairi stole the love of Riku's life. Then Sora fucking died.

No. Sora didn't die. He's right underneath the agitated man, squirming, trying to get free just like when they wrestled as children.

"Sora…" he whispers, clamping his eyes shut. This is Sora. This is the Sora that he always wanted to be around. This is the Sora he had wanted to spend the rest of his life with, even from childhood when he had no idea what something that serious meant. "You're always so coy…" he says sensually, leaning down and licking the large laceration on "Sora's" shoulder.

"I'm not coy, Riku! You're drunk off your ass!" Roxas shouts, throwing his head back. He doesn't mean to, but the stinging sensation on his neck… the pain… it feels so good. It feels so dirty.

But so good.

Riku smirks against the soft skin, running his hand up the long, lean sides. Then he trails it back down and returns to getting Sora out of his pants.

"Sora…" Riku whispers against the shivering body. It shudders. His body is clammy. Riku tingles with excitement. He can't wait to finally give Sora what he needs. He can't wait to punish him for all the times he shied away; all the times he refused to comply with his master's wishes. Oh. Sora deserved everything he was about to get. "Why do you reject me?"

"Because I don't want you, Riku," Roxas reiterates.

But what if he did? He shakes the thought out of his head ferociously, thrashing about, kicking one of his legs up and inadvertently hitting Riku in the ass, which seemed to only make him hornier. Said rapist hikes himself up on his Sora's body and kisses him lightly on the side of the face.

"You don't mean that, Sora," he whispers, trailing to the boy's mouth and placing a fierce kiss there.

Sora screams again.

Riku takes it as a scream of pleasure and decides that play time is over. He yanks off Sora's pants and discards them. They land on top of the television. The next to go is the tease's jacket. Riku literally rips it off of him, letting the two pieces fall to the floor under his lover's back. All he wants is to take the boy and never set him free. If he had it his way, he would never dare get rid of Sora.

Sora…

The memories flicker through his mind. He shudders.

Riku, this is wrong, the sound of Sora's voice- the real Sora –speaks to him.

Sora…

Don't do this, Riku. You're better than this, he says, disappointment not just hinted, but given away like the answer to a Trivial Pursuit question.

I'm not. I need you, Riku tells him, staring down at the face of the boy below him, eyes grazing his body.

Riku… the person you're about to touch the way you want to touch me… he isn't me, Sora finally says. The real Sora—the Sora that Riku longs to hear—sets his hand upon the boy's cheek. As, that really is what Riku is. He is no more than a boy lost in his lust and loneliness. His heart has been broken.

Sora... Riku closes his eyes, trying to shove out the pain in his core. Even as a kid I knew I wanted you. Tears escape the damns and barely squeeze out, dripping onto a small patch of midriff revealed from Roxas' shirt getting ruffled. I only wanted to stay with you.

He can feel Sora's hand resting on his shoulder comfortingly. His eyes shoot open. He turns his head this way and that. He knows that Sora is here. Somewhere, whether he can be seen or not, he is here. The image of that bright, friendly smile flashes through Riku's mind.

This isn't what I would want, Riku, he whispers, his voice being carried away.

Riku's body goes shaky. He hardly manages to release Roxas' wrists, but does somehow. He tilts his head back, eyes wide and open to the gray ceiling; that ceiling which is as empty and dead as the one looking at it. Roxas notices the sudden change and assists Riku in getting off. Riku sits on his knees blankly for a couple seconds then collapses, head striking the wall as he does. And even though Roxas hates him right now for coming closer to raping him than he ever has before, Roxas' jaw drops. Like the worried friend he is, he calls Riku's name, begging him to wake up.

Tears drip from his eyes. He pleads one more time.

With no response, he dials 911.

This isn't what I would want, Riku…

This… is never what I wanted. Not like this…

X

I feel like I'm turning my head like a fucking owl as I observe Relane/Arlene and Marluxia's house. For one thing, it looks a lot better than I remember it before them dating. They've been together almost a year, I think. If I was really dead for six months then yeah, it's about a year. The house looks better. Both of them look like they're in better shape physically and emotionally; I don't think I remember the last time I saw Marluxia sober. They're good for each other, I'll admit.

"Man, if I had a dime for every party I came to here," I say with an impressed whistle. Isa laughs, carrying a large box of books in his arms ranging from All Quiet on the Western Front (aka the most annoying fucking book ever written) to Twilight to fucking Odd Thomas.

Whatever the hell he of all people is doing with this mass of books, I don't want to know.

Oh, and don't think I forgot how he confessed he loves me. That was a huge curveball for me. I'm trying not to think about it and we're both trying to ignore it. The sad thing is, if I don't fall in love with my best friend, I don't think I'll ever fall in love. I honestly don't think I'm worth even that much. I couldn't love that much.

Not like I loved him anyway.

Who is him?

He is someone I saw in my dream when I fell asleep in the car. He is someone who racks my brain and makes me wonder why, when I first met him, I already knew everything about him simply by seeing him. I know he prefers sex hard to fast. I know he hates losing people.

I also know he lost me. I don't know when, but he lost me.

The only thing I have to do is help him realize that I've been found.

I've been found, Roxas…

Please… remember…


Hi there! Fourth installment is here! Not what you expected, huh? Yeah, I intend on having plenty of surprises in here. A lot of them are already written. Excited? Let me get a WOOP WOOP if you are! ...Just kidding. Don't glare at me like I'm an idiot. I'm just hyper and excited to post. I love updating this story. I really do. It's one of my favorites to write. I can go a day and only write a paragraph or so, then the next day I'm typing up two or three complete chapters! (Today it was the first chap of my new project, Fad, and another chapter of this. Impressive, right? I'm so proud.) I only have to haul ass for hours at a time to do these then pray that people review nicely and are still enjoying it even though I think it sucks. Do you think it sucks? I kinda do. But since when did my opinion count?

RAH. Damn I'm hyper right now. It's only 11:02 pm. 9 more minutes and I get to make a wish. I'm going to wish that this chapter gets six reviews because I know people are freaking reading it; it just sucks when they don't review. It's like a slap saying, "Ohai there, I like your story, but I'm not proud of it. Just thought I'd let you know, bitchh!"

Can you see where my mind is right now? It's rotting. I thought I was going to sleep an hour ago but I got caught up in writing this goddamn chapter and here we are. Here's your late-night update, whores. Hope you like it. (And I totally jynxed my ass on that stupid wish. Eeehehehe.)

Love, a very messed-up at 11 pm Scotty.