A/N: After Emily's lunch with her mother, she goes to see Spencer.

Chapter 4: The Baby Genius Talk

"Like everyone who is not in love, he imagined that one chose the person whom one loved after endless deliberations and on the strength of various qualities and advantages. –Marcel Proust

Spencer Reid's phone rang. He was sitting at the dining room table, papers all over the table. He was working away from his computer, and was intently working on his research project. He wasn't sure how he going to make go from just an idea to a reality, but he was certain the FBI wouldn't fund it or help in any way. As he was pondering this and several other questions related to it, he heard the phone ring.

"Hey Spencer."

"Hey Em."

"Are you busy? Can I come over?"

"Sure. You don't have to call first, you can just come right over."

"I'll be there soon. Thanks."

He was still working when she came over. "Hey Spencer."

"Hey Em." He got up to greet her. There was a strange look in her eye. He had a hard time classifying it. She didn't look sad really or mad, but she didn't really look happy. He remembered that she had lunch with her mother earlier. "How's your Mom doing?"

"Is it OK if we talk about that later?"

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I just don't want to talk about right now. OK?"

"Yeah, sure." He gave her reassuring smile.

"What are you working on?" She indicated the papers on his table. "I thought you weren't taking classes this semester."

"I'm not. This is a research project."

"What kind of a research project?"

"Uh, remember when I was going to take a leave of absence?"

Her eyes darkened for a moment, then she forced a smile. "Yeah?"

"Well, it wasn't entirely wanting to run away. There actually is a research project I want to do. I'm just certain the FBI won't fund it."

"Spencer, the FBI would pay for you to interview a serial killer in New Guinea if you wanted to."

"I'm not studying perpetrators. This about victims and survivors."

She gave him a questioning look. "Come again?"

He smiled. "Everywhere we go, the team I mean, we leave family, friends, communities, and sometimes even surviving victims behind. I just want to go and interview them. See how they're doing. See which ones are doing well and which ones aren't. It's something I've been thinking about off and on for a while."

"Really? That sounds interesting."

"I just don't think the FBI would fund it. I honestly don't know if I could get anyone interested in it."

"Are you kidding? There are victims groups that would be, not to mention counseling groups and universities that would be." She had that child-like enthusiasm she allowed herself once in a while. He loved it when she got that way. "Do want help? I mean, I could help you with it. It would be a nice change from what we do at work."

He smiled. "Sure. I honestly could use it. I've never tried doing anything like this before."

They sat down at the table and started going through the papers.

After they had been working for a couple of hours, Spencer asked, "What happened at lunch?"

She looked up at him," It was fine. Really, it was fine."

"You know, it's usually me who's evasive about stuff like this. Usually if things go badly you can't wait to vent. What's wrong?"

"It's …She was nice actually. She was even supportive. It's just…My cousin Rose got engaged."

"Well, that's nice."

"I know. It's just, the way she went on, it made me wonder if she would ever talk like that about us."

"Is it really that important to you?"

"Yes. It really is. Anyway, somehow we got from there to her telling me she just wanted me to be happy."

"Well, that's nice to hear, isn't it?"

"It is. It really is. She was nice, like I said. It's just that I asked if that was all she wants, and she said she wouldn't mind grand kids. She wasn't really serious, I don't think, but it just got me thinking…We keep avoiding that conversation about kids, don't we?"

"We don't have to have it right now, do we? I mean, I thought we agreed to take this one day at a time."

"You're right, we did. And I'm not saying I want to have kids right this moment, but Spencer I want to have them one day. All I want to know is if you want to have them too."

Reid didn't say anything. He was looking at the papers on the table.

Emily thought about dropping it. He was right, they had agreed to take things one day at a time. "Why don't you ever want to talk about it, Spencer just tell me that."

One of Spencer's hands started to shake, then he said in a voice just slightly louder than a whisper, "I'm scared."

"Of what? Of talking about it?"

"I'm too scared to want to have kids."

"Too scared?"

"Things got bad between us, and I tried to run. What if we had kids and I did that? Like my father did?"

"You wouldn't abandon your family."

"You don't know that."

"Yes I do. You chose to stay here, and you chose to go to counseling with me. You won't abandon your family."

"That may be the least of our problems."

"Spencer, what has you so afraid?"

"If we have kids...if I have kids with anyone, schizophrenia is genetically passed. I could pass it to them. It's also possible that I might need to be put in a institution."

"You're past the typical age of onset."

"Typical age, yes, but that doesn't mean it won't happen."

"It doesn't mean that it will either. Spencer, right now there's nothing to say we can't have perfectly sane, wonderful baby geniuses."

"There really isn't any evidence to suggest that genius can be passed genetically. I wouldn't wish my brains on anyone. Growing up a genius isn't any blessing. The other kids resented me, the teachers were fascinated by me. I really didn't have a lot of friends that just accepted me for me. Not until I was an adult."

"That's a fair point, but if we have geniuses, they will know they are loved. We will help them understand they are loved and they are people first and foremost. They won't be alone. Neither one of us is going anywhere. And if they're not geniuses..."

"If they're not geniuses, I'm afraid I won't love them. What if I think they're a disappointment if they're not as smart as me?"

"You won't."

"You don't know that!"

"Yes I do. I'm not as smart as you are, and you love me. You love Henry. You will love all of us, and we will love you."

"But Emily," Reid looked like a scared kid. He was running out reasons and excuses. Emily began to realize that the fear didn't come from someplace rational but someplace deep within him. It was a dark place that made him believe he didn't deserve love, that believed he was supposed to be alone.

She drew close to him. "Spencer, I love you. I will always love you. I will love any children we have. You will love any children we have. It won't matter how pretty they are or how smart they are. If they have to be institutionalized, we will visit them every day and make sure they know they are loved. If you have to be institutionalized, I will visit you every day and make sure you know you are loved."

"How can you be so certain?"

"I have faith."

"In what?"

"In us."

"Does it matter that I'm not so sure?"

"No. Not right now it doesn't. I have faith you will be. You still haven't answered my question Spencer."

"I'm pretty sure I did."

"No, you said you were afraid to want children. Take your fear out of the equation;do you want to have children?"

"Yes." It shocked Spencer to hear himself say it. "I do, but I don't think I'm ready yet."

"I didn't ask about that yet. I'm not sure I'm ready either. I just wanted to know what you thought." She hugged him tightly. She didn't know why, but at that moment she felt a need to hold onto him. It was almost as if she was afraid someone might take him away from her.

"Uh, Em, that's starting to hurt."

She let go. "I'm sorry, it's just..." She didn't have the right words to explain. She looked into his eyes, and tried to find the words. As she did, her lips met his.

It was a hungry, desperate kiss. Emily was surprised when she realized Spencer had a sudden need for this at this moment as she did. There was no banter, no talk, no suggestions to go to the bedroom or move to couch. There was just kissing and touching. Somehow, neither one remembered how, they ended up at the couch, and their clothes came off, littering the apartment.

There was no reciting of poetry, or any of the hot talk they usually engaged in. There was just touching, kissing, fondling every part of each other. She raked her nails down his back. He lightly bit her neck and shoulder. When they climaxed, first him, then her, it wasn't over. He picked her up and moved into the bedroom. They began again. And again. Over and over, touching each part, tasting each part of each other. When one of them was spent, the other found a way to arouse them. It was not sex as they usually experienced, either with each other or anyone else.

When at last they were done, they collapsed, too exhausted to even hold each other. Not even Spencer with his powerful memory could remember when they fell asleep. The next day, cleaned up the apartment in silence. They each had a sense that something significant and profound had happened, but neither one of them even knew how to begin to talk about it. The consequences of the experience would soon change their lives forever.

A/N: This ends the first part of this fic. Starting with the next chapter, as the BAU hunts unsubs, Emily and Spencer face such challenges as jealousy, self-loathing, addiction and ...the Baby-genius discussion part 2.