Disclaimer: I don't own Scandal

Chapter 4

It Still Hurts

I'm on my way to work and I'm feeling a little nervous. I'm not nervous about work, I'm nervous about that I'm having lunch with Fitz. I can't believe after 3 years we're finally going to talk hopefully. Truthfully I don't know how I feel about him, one part of me loves him and the other part hates him. It's not easy to love a person and hate him and the same time, I never thought in a million years I would be want to talk to him again but I hope that it's for the best I don't want to hate him because it's taking a lot of me. But I already know that I can't go back to the way it was, honestly I don't want to go back to the way it was. I'm not the person who let's many people into my life but I opened up to Fitz and after our break I've not dated or seen another guy in three years.

*Flashback*

I pick up my phone and call Fitz again, and again I come he doesn't answer and I reach his voicemail. I end the call and put my phone down. I sigh loudly, I'm a little scared and worried he got really mad and for him to storm out this late, I shake my head and try not to think about what could happen to him.

I go to bed and try to sleep, but I can't I have this feeling that something happened to Fitz, I can't take it anymore so I get up and get dressed. I try to call his phone again but this time I come to his voicemail directly, I hang up and head out to look for him.

I take a cab to his apartment and use my key to come in. I unlock the door and it's dark, I call out his name and I'm met with silence. I take a moment to think where he would have gone this late. Fitz is the kind of guy that usually drinks after the fight we had.

I leave his apartment and call Tom. Tom is Fitz best friend so he's maybe with him. After three rings he picks up.

"Hello?" I hear a groggy voice say.

"Hi Tom, it's Olivia I'm sorry for waking you up I know it's late but do you know where Fitz is?" I ask

"Fitz? No, I saw him this morning at the gym but since then no. Why?" he asks.

I don't want to tell him that we fought but I at this point I need to tell him.

"We had a fight and he stormed out" I say

"You two? Fighting?" he says sarcastically

I roll my eyes "Yes, it was stupid but do you have any idea where he is?" I ask.

"Did you go to his apartment?" he asks

"Yes" I say

"Well, he's probably drinking if he's not at home." He says

I sigh "Do you know where he would go?"

"Actually I do, where are you?"

"I'm outside his building." I say

"Ok, wait there I'm coming, he's probably at a private club we go there sometimes." He says.

I'm a little upset that he hasn't told me that he's been in a private club, I know it's stupid but I can't help myself but feel a little angry.

10 minutes later I see Tom's car, he waves telling me to come and I do what he tells me.

After a 20 minute drive we finally arrive to a club, the security on the door looks at Tom, and he nods his head.

Both I and Tom start looking for him and we can't find him, now I'm at the point of freaking out. Where is he? I wonder.

We look for a little more and we give up. Tom sees the manager and he tells me that he's knows Fitz. Tom walks to the manager and I can tell the manager is telling him something and I see the shock in Toms face. Now I don't know what to do anymore, I'm beyond the point of freaking out.

Tom comes back and we walk towards the exit, I look at him and I can still see that he is shocked and uncomfortable. We reach his car and before he starts his car I talk.

"What's wrong?" I ask my voice full of concern.

It takes him a while before he answers he looks directly into my eyes and I can see that what he is about to tell me is going to hurt.

"Tom, please what did he say?"

Tom sighs and then he starts "Olivia, um.. Cyrus the manager told me that he was here before but he left, he was here for at least an hour before he left and he didn't tell him where"

I can tell there's more, I look at him and I wait.

This time he shifts in his car seat and I'm holding my breath.

"He left with someone" he said almost in a whisper.

My eyes widen and I can feel my eyes getting wet. He looks at me and can tell I'm having a panic attack.

"Olivia, listen it doesn't mean anything. Maybe it was just a friend, let's not go there yet." He says trying to calm me down.

I look at him and now tears are running down my face. I know I need to calm down or I'll have a panic attack. I take a big breath before I speak

"Take me home" I say

He looks at me unsure if he wants to leave me alone.

I nod my head to assure him that I can take care of myself.

He drives me home when we reach my apartment, I thank him and he leaves. I head up and go into the shower immediately, after the shower I honestly don't know what to do; I don't know what to think anymore. I go to bed and close my eyes after a while I drift off to sleep.

Hours later I hear someone unlocking my door, the only one that has a key to my place is Fitz. The lights in the living room are on and I get out of bed to confront him. I make my way to the living room and I see him sitting on the couch with his face in his hand.

He's wearing a shirt and black pants, his hair looks messy and he looks exhausted and drunk. It's like he can feel my presence and he looks up. He just looks at me and I don't know what to do, I just stand there looking at waiting for him to speak up.

"Why are you up? It's late" he says.

I look at him in shock, did he just ask me why I'm awake? I can feel myself getting angry and scared by the second.

"Why I'm up Fitz? I've been calling you all night; you can't just storm out like that in the middle of the night." I say

He looks at me with a painful expression.

"I'm sorry" he says.

"For what?" I say

"For what I said before, I trust you I just.. you know how I get sometimes" he said.

I can tell he's hiding something and I don't know if I want to find out.

"You can't just leave after we disagree; we need to talk it out. Have you been drinking?" I ask

"Yeah, I know I'm sorry. I'm going to shower you can go to bed." He says heading to the shower.

I just stand there afraid what will happen next. I go to bed and wait for him to come. After a while I hear him getting into bed next to me.

After a couple of minutes I can't let this go on, I turn on the light beside my bed and sit up. He turns around and looks at me.

I look at him directly into his eyes and then I say the words I've wanted to ask all night.

"Did you cheat on me?" I ask I don't even recognize my voice anymore, I'm so afraid for what's going to come out his mouth.

I look at him and I can read him like a book. Tears stung my eyes I don't know what to do but I want him to answer me, even though I know he cheated on me I want him to answer.

"Answer me!" I say

"Yes" he says looking down.

"Look me in the eyes Fitz and say you cheated on me!" I say

He looks up and I can see pain in his eyes. It takes him a minute before he answers

"I cheated on you" he says

"Get out!" I scream

"Please –" he starts

"No, get out! We are done Fitz! I trusted you Fitz! I trusted you and you do this to me?" I scream at him.

He gets up and put his clothes back on. I reach my hand out and he gives me my key.

"You can leave now" I say, I want him to leave because I don't want him to see me crying.

"I'm sorry" he says and leaves.

*End of flashback*

A/N: First of all I just want to thank you all for your reviews they keep me motivated so thank you very much. I hope this wasn't too much, this was the hardest chapter to write so far so I hope I don't disappoint you.

Some of you wanted longer chapters and some of you wanted it like this, honestly I like it more like this but I may do longer chapters in the future, and someone said that Fitz doesn't deserve Liv that easily and I totally agree with you but there's more to come so let's just wait and see how it turns out ;). Please leave your thoughts on this chapter and thank you for reading.

Til next time xx