Chapter 4

It's Not Unusual- Or Is It?

"The fuck are you staring at?" Blaine snapped to a group of freshman. They cowered under his glare and scurried off to band practice or chess-group or whatever lame-ass club they attended. Losers.

Not that Blaine was being hypocritical as he headed to the choir room. Pfft. Totally not.

Speaking of Glee club, Mr. Anderson hadn't reacted too badly at the fact that his son was placed into some twee, pathetic little show choir. Maybe it was because Blaine had lied about the math test ("I got an A,") said that Figgins just wanted him to "expand his talents" by going to Glee club and that the variety of activities would look good on his college application. His father had spat some rather hurtful words that included "sissy" and "a failure," but other than that Blaine had narrowly escaped getting physically hurt. Phew.

Just because he had avoided the drama at home didn't mean he hadn't hoped that the drama at school would cease. As he walked to school this morning, Blaine was vexed by the thought of everyone's malicious whispers, horrifying rumors, even the teachers', all following him around like an eager Labrador with a bad 'd all hear about how he was taken off the cool and popular Cheerios and put in the nerdy Glee club. Miss McAuley would vent about him to other teachers in the staff room, who would get mad and give him more than one B. People would laugh at him. People would make fun of him. People would slushy him. He'd be classified as one of the misfit outcasts. Never wear his Cheerios uniform again. Grow pimples. Suddenly wake up in the morning to have a beard like Mr. O'Hagen's, their homeless-looking chemistry teacher who always walked in the hallway humming, "dum de dum, de dum, de dum." Shudder.

But then Blaine had shaken his head slowly. His scowl had turned into a smirk. A snicker had escaped him. Soon he had been shaking with laughter at the image of him walking through McKinley High in Mr. O'Hagen's balloon-like body "dum de dum, de dum, de dum"-ing. Of course he wasn't going to turn into some unpopular castaway! Just because the Buck-Toothy-Idiot-Squirrel-Woman gave him a B and got yelled at for it didn't mean his other teachers would too. And just because Blaine wasn't wearing his Cheerios uniform didn't mean that he still wasn't cool, smart and popular. And hey, he was the only one in school who made suspenders and a bow tie look far from nerdy.

Blaine was right. Everyone had stared at him and whispered, but he'd shut them up quick. Some teachers had shot him anxious glances but he aired them away with confidence and correct answers. Good. No one messed with him, and certainly not today.

"Welcome back to Glee club, guys!" a chipper voice said within the choir room as Blaine approached. "Today we-"

"Hello, my name is Blaine Anderson and I am here to audition," he interrupted loudly, striding inside with his head in the air.

The level of volume fell to a hushed silence. Blaine crossed his arms and looked across the room, his expression saying, 'and?' There was Brittany and Santana, smirking at him. Finn, Puck and Mike, who were on the football team, were there too. Quinn, a former Cheerio who had switched to the dark side (Glee club,) sat on her own. But the rest? Blaine knew their names, but no way in hell were they the type of people he'd want to hang out with: Rachel reminded him of Overly Attached Girlfriend, Sam's lips looked like he recently had Botox, Artie was cursed with a wheelchair and-even worse- hipster glasses, Sugar sounded as if she had inhaled helium, and Tina most likely had bats under her goth-zilla dress. Blaine was missing the Cheerios already.

At the front of the choir room, a man in a sweater vest and loafers turned around to face him. Blaine almost huffed out, "seriously?" Mr. Schuester, the History teacher (formerly a shitty Spanish one,) boyfriend of the OCD-ridden guidance counselor Miss Pillsbury, a big sweater vest addict and an even bigger lard- er, perming product- addict, was coaching the Glee club. Other show choir groups had amazing and professional coaches that made them winners, take Vocal Adrenaline. But no, New Directions had Mr. Meat-Casserole Hair. And who the hell names their group 'New Directions?' So cheesy.

"Yes, of course, Blaine!" Mr. Schuester told the conceited boy brightly, sounding a little surprised. "Ready when you are!"

Blaine walked to the center of the choir room and whipped off his yellow Ray-Bans. He was going to knock the socks off these losers.

"It's not unusual to be loved by anyone," he started confidently, his voice ringing out through the choir room. Damn, seeing those shocked faces was extremely satisfying. Brittany gave him a thumbs-up.

Just like that, the band at the far side of the choir room started to jam out to Tom Jones' 'It's not Unusual' like they knew Blaine was going to sing that all along.

"It's not unusual to have fun with anyone," he continued. Okay, number one, I feel like the band had been stalking me, Blaine thought. "But when I see you hanging about with anyone…" Number two, did they live in the choir room? "It's not unusual to see me cry…" Number three, I'm kicking ass at this audition. "I wanna die." No I don't. I'm awesome.

"All right!" Mr. Schuester cried over the applause of the New Directions as Blaine finally hit the last note. "Glee club, welcome your newest member, Blaine Anderson!"

Blaine, proud of himself, strode over and sat next to Santana and Brittany like he'd been in the Glee club since forever.

"Are you Orville Redenbacher?" Brittany asked him immediately as Mr. Schuester made his way up to the whiteboard.

"Britney, I'm Blaine," he said, rolling his eyes.

Santana smacked his arm. "You have my warmest welcomes."

"Yeah, totally warm," Blaine scoffed, rubbing the sore spot. "Tell me again why you and Brittany are in here. Did you yell at a teacher too?"

"We're in here because we want to be, Sherlock Sourpuss," Santana snapped. "If you actually gave this club a chance you'd find it was actually not big of a deal."

"Mrow," Brittany muttered.

"Okay, everybody!" Mr. Schuester interrupted, clapping his hands together.

Blaine was about to throw Santana a cutting remark of his own when all attention snapped to Mr. Schuester. He had uncapped his marker and wrote 'DUETS' in huge letters on the board.

"It's officially duet week," he announced. "You get to pair up with anybody you like, sing anything you like and if you win…" Mr. Schuester reached in his pocket and held up two coupons, smiling. "The lucky pair gets a free dinner each at Breadsticks."

Blaine listened with disgust, not seeing why everyone was murmuring excitedly. Coupons? Really? He thought. What a cheap-ass.

"So get pairing, everyone!" Mr. Schuester finished off with a flourish.

"You're gonna have to find your own partner," Santana said to Blaine as she grabbed Britney's hand and pulled her to her feet. "It's gonna be no use anyway, 'cause me and my girl are going to Breadsticks!" she singsonged haughtily, dragging Britney away.

"Sorry, Orville!" Brittany called over her shoulder.

Blaine huffed and dropped back onto his seat, rolling his eyes. Now who was he going to have to sing with?

"And then, after we finished dinner, we could go to my uncles private yacht, and then, after that…" Sugar sat on the lap of a very pleased Artie, twirling her hair and excitedly planning their excursions.

"Finally!" Tina told Mike exasperatedly. "If we win this, we get to go on a proper date!"

Mike looked at her quizzically. "Don't we always go on proper dates?"

"PROPER DATES DON'T INCLUDE EATING DIM SUM WITH YOUR MOM!" Tina exploded.

"Sam, I would really appreciate it if you would-" Quinn started.

"AH! THE BEES! NOT THE BEES!" Sam gave an exaggerated impression of Nicholas Cage. Again.

"Stop. Your. Impressions." Quinn finished with gritted teeth.

Rachel grabbed Finn's hand. "Listen, I have a plan. If we want to go to Breadsticks, the only way we'll win is if I do all the singing and you just sway in the background. Okay?"

Finn blinked. "Um… just a second." He turned to Puck in an attempt to ignore Rachel's suggestion. "Hey, who are you paired with?"

"Mercedes, definitely," Puck said in a satisfied tone.

"But isn't she absent?"

"Whatever, I'll just call her up. And if we end up getting those coupons, I'll give them all to her- hey, she loves food, right?- and then she'll be so happy that I'll get laid," he leaned back in his chair with a proud smile on his face. "Boo yeah."

All the while, Blaine sat rigid on his seat, absolutely revolted. Good God, why did he have to be in the sameroomas these weirdos? Why did he have to share the air they were breathing? Why didn't he just say, "fuck it" and go back to the Cheerios?

Blaine groaned and dropped his head in his hands. Because life.

(A/N) I just realized how fun it was to put teachers I have at school in my story! Yes, real-life Mr. O'Hagen does indeed look like a hobo and hums that same song over and over again. ANYWAY, I'd really love it if you guys leave suggestions to what songs you would like any characters in this fanfic to sing. I don't care whether they were even sung in the history of Glee or not, just leave 'em!