A/N: I just wanted to thank those of you who have reviewed. You guys are awesome.

I know some of you have expressed some concerns about this story and I wanted to address them. Things will be rocky for our Bella and Edward for a while. Life is rarely as easy as we hoped. Please keep in mind that I am a firm believer in an E&B happy ending and that is how this story will end, but there will be bumps along the way.

I hope you enjoy this chapter. Ok on with the story.

Obvioiusly I don't own Twilight, That would be the wonderful Stephanie Meyers.

Chapter 4

Oz

My morning classes seemed to drag on. I was in no mood for the attitudes of my freshman today. If I heard one more child ask me why they needed to learn this 'crap' I was going to lose it. My response to them would not sit well with our principal. "Why do you have to read classic literature…hmm so you don't grow up to become under read, closed minded idiots." Or I could just answer with the always popular "because I said so".

Most days I would joke with my class and handle their sarcastic comments with even more sarcasm. But lately I had become more and more withdrawn from our banter and interactions.

This had not gone unnoticed by my students. My lack of enthusiasm had negatively affected their own ambition in the world of literature. I wanted nothing more than for noon to roll around. I had lunch and then my off period so I wouldn't have to return to school until 1:50.

The more I thought of my impending lunch date the more I realized that a lunch break session was not the best time to get into such a deep subject matter. Oh well, too late now. The bell rang dismissing my class, and I gathered up my belongings and headed towards my car.

As I sat in the driver seat as I tried my hardest to summon up all my strength to face the terrible twosome. Alice and Rosalie were great but they could be a little much to deal with. They were always a tad overbearing.

I've seen Alice nearly disown me based on a poor shoe decision. How was she going to handle something so important? I know she will disagree with my actions but in the end she will support me. I hope. I was going into the lion's den, and I was not prepared.

I needed courage, and brains, hell I needed an all inclusive trip to Oz.

I knew where I could find all these things. I knew who could give me courage, who could give some insight, and who had my heart.

As I picked up the phone to dial the familiar number I could only hope that he would step out from behind his curtain long enough for me to see the man I knew.

I listened to the dial tone and waited while unconsciously holding my breath.

"Bella?"

I exhaled and felt relief wash over me in this moment. He answered, after he just left without a word this morning he actually answered.

"Hello…Bella?"

Right, crap. "Hi..."

Hi? Hi? Is that all I could say to him?

"Bella what did you need? I am at work, you know."

"No you're not. You're on your lunch break. You are probably sitting in your car eating a turkey sandwich listening to led zeppelin."

"…I am not" he replied like a kid who had been caught.

"Fine a ham sandwich then, but don't try and tell me you're working"

He sighed loudly "is this why you called just to tell me what I'm doing? Or did you call because you can't work up the nerve to tell your best friends that you're kicking your husband out of the house."

UGH! "I'm not the one who had a secret apartment lined up"

"Come on Bella I'm not the one who mentioned separating, I want to work on this, not give up."

Oh how dare he say that to me after this long?

"I am not trying to give up… you know what Edward I don't want to fight right now I need your help."

"Now you want help, from me, why couldn't you say that when-"

I interrupted him before he could upset me anymore. This was not my plan when I dialed his number. I really didn't want to get into everything before I had to go face the girls. I needed to appear somewhat composed when I spoke to them.

"Edward, please, I just need my best friend right now. Can you do that? Can we just put everything else aside for five minutes, so I can have my friend who always knows what to say to me?"

There was a long pause, and then I heard Edward draw in a deep breath.

"Ok, what's wrong?" Edward finally responded.

I almost smiled. He wasn't as good at being angry with me as I was at him. And when I needed his advice he was always right there to listen.

That thought made my next sentence all the harder to choke out.

"How do I do this Edward? How do I tell my sisters that my husband and I are separating? It's not like they are just my friends. Alice is your sister and Rose loves you as if you were her brother."

There was another silence before I heard Edward's voice again.

"Bella as your friend, I'd say that despite how close you all are, don't worry about how this affects them. This is about your marriage. I also know you well enough to know that you're focusing on their possible pain as a way to distract yourself from your own."

I didn't say a word. I just waited to see if he would continue. If I was being honest with myself I just needed to hear his voice as much as possible.

"As your husband, and the man who knows you better than you know yourself, I have to tell you something else. Despite my attitude this morning, I do love you. We will figure this out. My heart is yours and only yours. We will survive this."

I was so shocked by his vulnerability that I couldn't respond for a moment. I knew I had to say something quickly before he put his wall back up and became once again impenetrable.

So I said the only thing that was in my now fuzzy head.

"How, Edward? How can you be so sure?"

"Because I have to be Mrs. Cullen, I don't have a choice….I love you."

Then the line went dead. I wasn't mad at him for hanging up. I knew how much it took for him to open up like that to me. He used to be an open book where I was concerned, but it seems once I shut myself off, he followed suit.

Something else that he said grabbed my attention, Mrs. Cullen. I didn't know if I was prepared to not be that anymore. So much of me was tied up in being her that I didn't know who I was without that title. Mrs. Edward Cullen.

I lifted my head off the steering wheel and began the short trip to Rosalie's.

*****

"Mommy!" Ayden yelled, as I walked into Rose's foyer.

"Hey baby" I laughed, picking him up and kissing his cheeks.

"Time go home, mommy?"

"No sweetheart, not yet." I couldn't help but smile when I held him. I knew it wouldn't be too long before he'd be too big for me to hold like this.

"I'm in the kitchen Bella" Rose called.

I put Ayden down and watched as my little heartbreaker ran off to play.

I was always amazed at the size and beauty of this house. My brother had done quite well for himself, not that Rose hadn't worked her butt off just as much. Between, their money and her taste, their home was one of the most gorgeous places I had ever been in.

I strolled into the kitchen to see Rose making garden salads. I laughed to myself. The woman was not a chef. If a meal involved the oven she was at a total loss. It's amazing her and Emmett survived since neither could boil water.

"Where's Alice?" I asked pulling out the salad dressing from the fridge.

"She got held up at work. One of her suppliers sent her three hundred yards of faux leather instead of the silk she ordered for her new line. She is an angry sprite today."

I laughed at the image in my head, of Alice yelling on the phone about not designing clothes for a vegetarian dominatrix.

"Oh well, I guess I can wait and talk to you both later" I asked hopeful.

Rose shot me a 'don't even think about it look'.

"Fine." I sighed.

"ithinkmeandEdwardareseperating. I blurted out in one breath.

Wow way to cut right to the chase, Bella. I thought to myself.

Rose stared at me blinking, while I dropped my head in my hands.

"No you're not." She said it as though it was common knowledge.

"Yes, we are. Edward already has an apartment ready to go. "

"I said No!" she yelled.

Now it was my turn to stare shocked. Did she just say that to me?

"You can't, you just can't…" Her voice began to crack. I knew she wouldn't shed a tear. But the emotion in her voice was enough to make me want to. I didn't know what to tell her.

For the hundredth time today I found myself speechless. I had expected her to tell me I was being stupid, but to talk to me as if she was a mother scolding a child. Really?

"Bella, you and Edward, you guys are so perfect for each other. It's always been the two of you. How…Why…Oh honey, I'm so sorry.

She finally grasped the implications of what I said and pulled me into a tight hug.

"You've...got...to...stop…working…out…with…Emmett!" I gasped, before she finally released me from her death grip.

"Sorry" she mumbled, handing me my salad.

"So why, I mean did he do something?" Rose asked this was the part of the conversation I had been dreading.

Rose voiced her question with as much confusion as it deserved. Edward had always been as close to the model partner as you can get. I had no delusions of perfection however. He could be broody, jealous, overly protective and sometimes just a general pain in the ass. I knew this but he was also the most decent human being I have ever met.

The girls were always so jealous when we'd arrive at our dorms to see vases of roses or lilies. He had always been considerate and loving. I could see how Rosalie couldn't understand why we had made this choice. Honestly, I couldn't either, yet here we were.

He had always been a great man, the kind you dream about finding. He was always so strong and brave.

Edward was, however, ill equipped to deal with a problem that he couldn't fix. I knew when everything happened that he felt like a failure. When everything happened he refused to deal with his own pain and focused on how to get me better. When he couldn't, he took it hard.

He saw me pushing him away and after a while he faded back, thinking that is what I needed. By the time I was ready to talk to him and needed him. I found him talking to her.

That hurt more than I can describe. He hadn't slept with someone else, or even kissed another female, but when I heard him and the intimate details of our marriage he was sharing with her, I felt more betrayal than I have ever known.

It was a slap in the face and what little progress I was making was snatched away. I became angry. I wanted to yell and throw things at him but the guilt I felt wouldn't allow that. I felt guilty because I had made him feel like I was unavailable to him. I've never told Edward that. He still doesn't know how bad his actions affected me. I was already in a dark place but to have my teammate leaning on someone else for support was a difficult pill to swallow. Especially when she was one of the small decisions that led to my loss.

I don't blame her, I blame me, but she is still in the scene that plays through my mind when I think about that day, then to find that she was the one comforting my husband. I have to swallow the anger that boils up at the thought.

Everyone knew the basics of what Edward and I had been through. But we had never gone into details about the events leading up to the incident or what happened after. At least I didn't tell anyone. I don't think Edward would, well I think she might know a little more than I'm comfortable with. At this point though, it's neither here nor there. If I was going to tell Rose the truth, I might as well tell the whole truth. I have wanted to talk to someone about everything for so long but felt like I'd be violating Edward's trust the same way he violated mine. It made sense in the beginning but now I saw no reason to try and hide what was going on.

"Ok, um well I guess all our problems started a year ago. That's when everything started to fall apart." I began.

A/N: Ok as promised the next chapter will go into the whole story. I probably won't be able to update quite as frequently as I have been, but i'm hoping to have the next chapter up sometime Thursday. I was curious to see if anyone wants me to do a chapter in EPOV. Let me know what you think. This was going to be strictly BPOV but the more I write I wonder if Edward needs his turn to say what's going on. As always please, please review. Let me know what you think.