I finished chapter three but I changed some things so it might be a good idea to go back over it again. So here is chap 4. Hope you enjoy. On a side note, I'm hungry.

Chapter 4 Lord of laughs

Chakra can be divided into five primary elements Wind, Fire, Lightning, Earth and Water. Wind is free formless and invisible. It is most associated with the act of cutting. Fire is raging hungry and shapeless. It is most associated with burning or melting. Lightning is fast bright and direct. Lightning has a piercing affect. Earth is rigid and stabilizing. It is most associated with the defense and strengthening. Water is defined and always moving. Water is the most malleable and as such has defensive piercing and cutting effects. There are multiple subcategories that are created by mixing two or more of the primary elements; Ice, Steam, Mud, Magma, Sand, etc. Healing or life chakra is a special form of chakra in that it has no traits from any of the primary elements but is at the same time meshes well with them. All humans and animal possess chakra in some amount but for the most part are unable to apply or access it. Shinobi and Samurai have found ways to tap into their chakra networks and use it for various purposes. Once a person has tapped into their Chakra for the first time their body undergoes a change. The density of their bones increases making them stronger and allows them to undergo much more force than that of an average human. The density of their muscles increases allowing them to exert more force, the length of time for the muscles to atrophy also lengthens. Tapped Chakra networks in children result in early maturing. It is also believed that an extended lifespan is also the result of a tapped network, but some specialists believe it is the healthier and more active lifestyles that shinobi and samurai live that lead to their longevity.

Naruto put the book down with a sigh. It was the same in this book as any of the other ones that he could get access to. He had been searching for months through each chakra related book he could find but none of them gave any info on how to tap into your chakra network. As he was not a shinobi he could not gain entrance to the jutsu archives so he had been forced to search every book in the public section of the library. He thought of sneaking in but the guards at the entrance seemed very well trained, they never left their post and they were always on alert. If I could use my chakra then I could start making real seals instead of just doodles I would also be able to start chakra control exercises, but without it I'm a civilian stuck in a child's body. He would not get frustrated or mad no it was better to get more driven to the cause… or take his extra negative energy and apply it to something productive.

Giving up or his current course of action he pulled out his prank journal, in it the plans for all past and future pranks. He had been pranking every major clan from the stoic Aburame to the rigid (stick up ass) Uchiha as a form of training for the last two years. His stealth and infiltration abilities had grown to what he and most of ANBU considered professional levels. His pranks were never violent or destructive, so as not to give people an excuse to off him. His next would be his biggest yet, his target, the Inuzuka. He had already scouted his next target, and in doing so he located the weaknesses of the outer defenses (walls), patrol routes and shift changes. In six more hours it would be dark and he "Look it the demon. Why is he even allowed in here." Caught Naruto's attention. Looking over his should to the next table he saw to civilians "whispering" to each other. I swear demon this monster that, throw in a freak every once in a while, hell spawn would be nice but something original please! Or at least come out and say it, it's really not that hard Ky-uu-bi. He thought to himself. They saw him looking at them and they started to glare whereas he just put on one of his fake smiles. Number 6 to be exact. Go ahead piss off the five hundred foot mass of chakra that's a wonderful idea. Whatever I'm off to kick the hornets' nest… again. Naruto thought to himself with a smirk. But there was a rumbly in his tumbly. "Food, require food." So off he went to Ichiraku's for his pre-prank celebration.

It was dawn when I single yell was heard in the air. Then another and another till it was a chorus of anger and surprise. The yelling was accompanied by the howls of dogs and wolves alike. Many would talk of this day for generations to come. But among the commotion the gentle laughter of a little boy could be heard by those that were searching for it.

In the night Naruto had slipped by the patrols entered the rooms of all the clan members and replaced all their clothes with black leather bondage gear, including but not limited to whips, leashes, gags, blind folds, whipped cream and chocolate sauce. Later they would find out that their entire supply of coffee had been laced with several different laxatives.

ANBU upon hearing the commotion immediately arrived on the scene to investigate, and after a few minutes were off to gather the usual suspects. Seeing as how there was only one person dumb enough to prank an entire clan ANBU raced off to look for one blonde headed boy. The ensuing chase resulted in twenty to thirty ANBU units to be ensnared within traps ranging from clouds of itching powder to water balloons filled with pink paint launched at his pursuers and lasted four hours but was brought to an end when the head of the Inuzuka clan dressed in black leather short shorts knee high boots and a bustier tackled the boy causing him to lose conciseness. Some of the pursuing ANBU later said that the outfit looked very flattering on Tsume Inuzuka, but the smile on her face would haunt their memories for years to come.

"Fangirls." With that Naruto bolted upright out of his coma and scampered into the nearest corner with eyes wide looking everywhere for signs of danger. The faces of the adult's in the room faulted at Naruto actions. Speaking up the Hokage said "He was trampled by Itachi Uchiha's fangirls no less than four times, it resulted in deep mental scarring."

"Makes sense." Everyone agreed at the same time.

Naruto found himself in the Hokages office surrounded by the usual crowd. The Hokage, ANBU commander Taurus, Elders Homura and Koharu, and of course Tsume Inuzuka (still in leather). Instantly Naruto flashed his patent pending smile number14, the one that said "hey guys why am I here I haven't done anything". Needles to say it didn't work. "Would you like to explain yourself?" The Hokage asked.

"Well I'm three feet eight inches I like ramen and long walks on" the blonde was interrupted by a blast of Killer Intent (it shall now be called Ki.)causing him to stop. "Fine yes I snuck in to the Inuzuka's property and stole their clothes and put laxative in their coffee. But it wasn' "

"Wait, say that again?" Tsume interrupted.

"Stole clothes or laxatives in coffee?" Tsume instantly disappeared in a cloud of grey smoke. And if I wanted to I could have just killed off the entirety of one of Konoha's strongest clans.

"He just confessed, so I'll deal with the punishments. The rest of you are excused." He said indicating the rest of the occupants of the room.

"Yes Hokage-sama." They answered and started to file out of the room. Flashing glares at the boy.

Flashing through twelve hand signs the Hokage activated the privacy seals placed throughout the office. "You single handedly snuck into the Inuzuka compound swapped out their clothes for bondage gear and planted laxatives in their coffee. Now what do you have to say for yourself?"

"Death count is eighty-six not including their ninken. The village is now without a good portion of its tracking and assault divisions." Naruto said without batting an eyelash. Play time was earlier now it was business. He moved over to the chair in front of the Hokage's desk.

"What rating would you give them?" The Hokage asked while taking out his old wood pipe and lighting up. Early on he had discovered Naruto's sharp mind and impressive set of skills. The boy had a knack for sneaking into places that were restricted leaving behind no clues as to the perpetrator… unless he wanted to that is. As such the "God of shinobi", the "Professor" had been contracting Naruto out to locate some of the weaknesses in the village's defenses. Since Naruto's first rounds of "pranking" the defenses of each individual clan has risen, but was still unable to keep the blonde out.

"C… C+."

"Really? That's quite generous coming from you."

"Normally yes but this time I was almost caught, though it was by a half asleep child on his way to the bathroom."

Taking a long drag from his pipe. "How long till you have the report finished?"

"I still have to return their clothes and apologize so I would say tomorrow at the earliest."

"Now how did my ANBU fair?" Said Taurus as he materialized from the shadows flanked by Cat who was still covered in glitter from the chase. Taurus and Cat were the Third Hokage's most trusted ANBU.

"Poorly, they still fall for relatively simple traps and evasive maneuvers. I suggest you make sure they are familiar with the entire city and not just their patrol routes."

"Nothing is ever simple with you." Cat said causing Naruto to give him a devilish smile.

"Is there anything else I should know?" The masked man said in his monotone voice.

"Not that I can… actually now that I think about it are any of your men afraid of spiders?"

"Not that I know of." Sucks to be you, Mouse.

"That's good." The Jinchuriki said with an evil smile. Standing up he bowed to the two masked men. "I thank you for allowing me to use your ANBU in order to further my skills." He said humbly.

Now it was Taurus and Cat bowing. Your polite when you want to be aren't you? "No I thank you with your constant…distractions it allows my men the opportunity to sharpen their skills in this peaceful time." The two masked men vanished back into the shadows of the room.

"You get the same punishment as last time, library duty for two weeks. Now is there anything else that you would like to talk about while you're here?" The Hokage asked while looking at his city through the windows.

"In fact there is. Since you won't tell me how to tap into my chakra network till I enroll in the academy I would like to enroll for this coming school year."

Sarutobi looked shocked for a second but quickly regained his composure. "Are you sure that's what you want? Are you okay with being in a class room where you are two years younger than everybody?"

"I'm fine with it. It's not like I have any friends my age I would like to go to school with." The boy said with fake smile number 2.

Sighing "Alright ill set up everything just show up on the twenty second of next month seven thirty in the morning. Just talk to the secretary."

"Alright thanks old man I'll drop by tomorrow to liven up your day." The blonde said with real smile number 1. And with that he left.

Right before he closed the door on his way out he heard the old man say "Now back to the Uchiha problem."

Naruto had almost finished his mandatory six hours of "punishment" (he likes the library) for the day when while sorting returns he came across a biography of the Fourth Hokage called "Yellow Flash: The man the legend the pervert" authored by one Arius Noctis. So after finishing his unspeakably cruel punishment of making the library look nice he checked the book out.

That night after making a pasta salad and potato's for dinner he curled up in his bed with his book and began to read. It would change many things.

After a sleepless night Naruto had come to the conclusion that he was the son of the Fourth Hokage. It makes sense that a man like him wouldn't use some random child to put the Kyuubi in. He was known to put comrades first so there is no way he would force the burden onto someone else, but there is still no record of him having a wife or child. If she died it would make sense to not make it public knowledge since Iwa would stop at nothing to kill any living Namikaze. But I need proof proof proof proof proof proof… the Namikaze estate! He was a seal master so it makes sense that he would use a blood seal to as a key for the estate. I could have a home. Wait calm down there is still the possibility I'm wrong. I'll go there after dark. Having decided on a plan of action Naruto proceeds to prepare himself for a regular day.

It was after dark and Naruto was sneaking his way through the city to the clan district. Upon entering the clan district Naruto made his way to the northwest corner to where the estate was. The Namikaze compound was a high walled property consisting of two buildings a two story building of good size but significantly smaller than that of the other clans and a smaller building most likely a dojo (Can't see over wall to check). Naruto could barely control the shaking in his hands. The gate was a very imposing sight; it rose fifteen feet into the air and was decorated in a spear motif leading to the row of sharp pointy things on top. That is an imposing gate. But in the center was a circle plate with a complicated seal array on it. Having studied the book that Arius gave him Naruto could tell that the array was a very complex form of a bloodline seal. Knowing that only a touch would be all the seal needed to activate the array Naruto raised his shaking hand and touched it to the plate. Array glowed and with a click the gate swung silently open.

There goes chapter 4. I put a double rush on this one so that you would forgive me for the super long wait for chapter 3.

Next chapter the Uchiha massacre. Please send in reviews… Pretty please with sugar and gold bars on top.