'Alright Sherlock calm yourself, panic will do nothing for yours or John's situation. It could only make it worse,' he thought to himself.
'But Sherlock! John is suffering and you know he is suffering because he knew you,' Another part of him said.
'That is absurd, even if John didn't know me Moriarty would have… Wait….. Wait…. No I'm right. If John hadn't known me this wouldn't have ever happened to him,' he said doubt filling his thoughts.
'Precisely,' the voice said agreeing with him.
'No! Wait! It is not my fault it's Moriarty's. If he hadn't-'
'If you hadn't pursued him than he would not have had to deal with you and saying that he would not have had to find your weak spot,' the voice scolded.
'My weak spot?'
'Yes Sherlock, John is your weakness, or more appropriately your care for John. About what happens to him, that is your weakness.'
'Well…. What should I do,' he thought, on the verge of desperation.
'Simple.'
'Yes?'
'Stop caring.'
This very thought made Sherlock stop in his tracks. He stopped breathing and he was sure his heart had skipped beats. Stop caring….. about John? Could he…. Would he be able to? Could he bring himself to stop caring about John?
He thought for a moment. Yes he could, just like he did with that girl those years ago, but it was more of a question of did Sherlock want to? The answer to that was plain and simple.
No.
John had changed his life. Before John he had been lonely and in need of great care, though his stubborn pride would never allow him to admit to that. Back at the pool, John had actually put his life at risk in order to save Sherlock's and all he could get out as a thanks was, "That…. That was….. um….. good." So much for friends. Where they really friends? Maybe John thought so but Sherlock could simply not know how to treat and act like a friend. This had always worried Mycroft when they were younger.
Mycroft.
Would he be searching for them? Most defiantly, after all he must have noticed his absence by now and was beginning his emergency missing little brother procedures. Sherlock actually scoffed at the idea and smirked.
"Sh…Sherlock," a very faint and very weak voice said.
Sherlock snapped his attention to his friend, yes his friend, sitting barely conscious in a chair.
"Yes John." He stated rather than asked.
"If….. if you get a chance to…. To escape I want you to leave….. me," he said panting.
Sherlock raised an eyebrow, "Don't be ridiculous John we are both going to get out of this fine," he said and began testing the structural integrity of the bars, once again.
"Sherlock I am not going to make it out of this alive," He said softly.
Sherlock's head whipped around, "Don't be an idiot John. I said I was going to get us both out of here alive and I will," he said harshly.
John smiled; that smile made Sherlock stop and simply stare. It was a smile that he had seen once before. It was a smile that said, 'It's ok that I'm going to die as long as you're alright.'
"Shut up John," Sherlock barked.
"I didn't say anything," he said and he looked away guiltily.
"Goddammit I swear I will get you out of here alive John Watson! I swear it!"
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