Cross My Heart
Summary: Mimi's idol career is losing steam and so she pulls a publicity stunt, pretending to be dating Yamato Ishida, but he is blissfully unaware of the situation. During the tour, reflecting on the past, will they develop a relationship or is it really just all an act? Mimato hints
A/N: This is a part of my headcanon, but since it only revolves around Mimi and Yamato, you don't need to read anything else to understand it. Enjoy~
A/N 2: Thanks again to all reading this. Will update again in 2 weeks!
[4]
"It's gonna be so hard on my own,
but I won't be alone,
Cross my heart and tell no lies,
no one's leaving you behind~"
- Sclub7 "Cross My Heart"
Present, 2009
Unlike Yamato, who absolutely treated the entire thing as a chore, Mimi was enjoying the photoshoot. She had always loved looking beautiful and she never understood why she hadn't done this sooner. She crossed her legs, showing off her leggings which featured a sun. Her tube top had a raincloud and she was sporting her classic pink hair and cherry lipstick.
"These will look great, Andou," came the smooth voice of Evin. He glanced across the set at the mismatch of princess and rock star. Before, the set had been evenly divided, but now, Yamato's side was drifting into Mimi's. "A great way to promote their dating for her final album, isn't it?"
Mimi tried not to show her disappointment. She glanced over at Yamato who was slowly burning the styrofoam box of cigarettes (to Andou's delight) and the so-titled princess thought about the fact that Yamato didn't know this was her final album and didn't know that them dating was a complete sham.
She recognized that longing for her ages ago, but then, he longed for anyone then and now. It's like I've never left him, Mimi thought.
"Wait. What the Hell is that?" Evin demanded.
Everyone stopped, including Andou. Yamato's blue eyes followed Evin as he walked over to Mimi and stared straight down her chest. He prodded the scar settled in the middle of her skin. "I thought I told you to cover that?"
Mimi slapped her hand over her chest, "I forgot. I'm sorry."
"No one informed me," Andou sighed, running a hand through her hair. "I guess we'll have to shoot this over."
Yamato stood and walked over, slowly removing his dress shirt. "It's part of her past, she shouldn't have to hide it from her fans because some pompous dickweed thinks its 'ugly'."
Evin eyed him, seeing a similar ying-yang like scar at the center of his chest, too. "What, you two in a cult or something, you strung out punk?"
"Oh!" Andou said, pulling Evin aside and knowing full well of the blonde's temper. "It's a symbol of their union, Evin. Think of the media buzz."
"...it doesn't matter. We won't be reshooting," Evin spat. "She's washed up anyway. Say what you want about it."
Yamato watched as Mimi seemed to stare at nothing, still holding her hand over her chest. This mess that he had pictured more or less as some kind of free ride meant the world to her. After all, for Yamato, this was just a way to live it up before he started University. No, fighting with Takeru had nothing to do with it, he told himself. He was happy. Happy.
Mimi noticed him watching her and tried to hide her labored breathing, "Can we...
2005
"...move on with this?"
Yutaka sighed, "Yamato's bass and vocals. He's kinda important."
"That bastard," Mimi breathed, pacing back and forth. "He said he wouldn't do this. I don't understand him."
"...you know him better than us," Takashi sighed.
"...do I? You've been his friends since middle school. I barely knew him for a few years in elementary and at the start of middle school. The Yamato I knew would do anything for his friends. He had his problems, but he never, ever, put himself before anyone else."
"...he used to be like that," Yutaka admitted. "It's that Sora chick. She really messed him up."
"...Sora?" Mimi whispered.
"Oh, finally," Akira sighed as they saw someone running on the other side of the hallway, which was lined with tinted windows.
Yamato rushed in, straightening his shirt as best he could, but it didn't hide the lipstick stains. "Sorry."
"He'll never change, Mimi," Yutaka warned.
"Yamato, what's the meaning of you being late?" Mimi demanded, storming over to him. She paused, nearly tripping over her own feet.
Yamato raised an eyebrow, "Huh? N-Nothing. I overslept."
"Overslept under some woman's junk, looks like," Mimi snapped, taking a deep breath and going back into the booth.
"No, you don't understand," Yamato replied, tiptoeing after her. "It's just a dirty shirt. I haven't done laundry in awhile."
"Whatever, let's get this over with."
"Mimi..." Yamato insisted.
Yamato picked up the guitar Yutaka had brought and glanced over everything. He had stayed up most of the night before practicing. The fear of losing his only remaining friend drove him. As long as he had her, he still had something.
The performance went surprisingly well and in a few hours the single, instrumental, and bonus track were done for Mimi's single. Yamato didn't wait around and hurried to leave. He had beaten himself up about being late through the entire thing and had avoided smoke breaks as self-punishment.
Mimi smiled and thanked the others graciously and everyone left amicably. Then she noticed Yamato was missing and went to find him. She looked around the parking lot and noticed his car and walked over to it, carrying an extra copy of the demo. She started to knock on the door when she saw Yamato drinking from a bottle. He noticed her and set it aside, not even bothering to hide it. "What? Come to lectuure me?"
"...Yamato. I just wanted to give you this," she said, handing him a copy of the demo. "Um, also, you know... whatever happened with Sora. I'm sorry. I'm not asking what happened but I can tell it's completely wrecked you and I don't think you see it."
He started to snicker but it evolved to a laugh. "I told you... she just made me realize I am what I always knew I was."
"...and what is that exactly? A drunk? A whore?" He smiled and Mimi stormed over to the passenger door and tried to open it. Frustrated when Yamato wouldn't unlock it she rushed back to the other side. Yamato saw this and started the engine and Mimi reached through the driver's side window. "I'm not going to stand here and let my friend kill himself!" Mimi barked, crawling over the blonde's lap to some sounds she would have otherwised appreciated as the car screeched to a hault in reverse. Settling in the passenger seat and straightening her hair, she huffed. "Now. Talk to me. No one else has made time for you. That's fine. But I'm here."
"...Mimi."
"You know I'm not leaving. Why were you late this morning? Start with that."
Yamato sighed and they sat in silence for a long time. He drank a little more, then finally managed to word his excuse, "...I couldn't sleep, so I got some pills. I wouldn't have even thought about it if Yutaka hadn't accused me before..."
"...go through a doctor before you kill yourself," Mimi breathed.
"Maybe I want to."
Mimi's eyes widened. "B-because of what happened with Sora? I think you're taking this a little too personal..."
"I never meant to hurt her. All I can say is... I didn't have the best childhood, okay? I had like.. a flashback or something... it's stupid. It's nothing."
"...does Sora know?" Mimi asked, trying to figure out what 'not having the best childhood' meant. It sounded like an excuse, but she wouldn't dismiss him. If the entire world and Sora hadn't 'dismissed' him, maybe he wouldn't be...
"Not really."
"...this doesn't forgive how you've been acting. You need to deal with this."
"I am," Yamato grinned, taking out a cigarette. Mimi slapped it from his fingers. "Hey," he mumbled, and pulled out another.
"At least let me drive you back to my place."
"You're not going to the afterparty?"
"...an afterparty... for me?" Mimi questioned. "I had enough parties back in the States. I mean, I didn't drink at them, but I've watched my friends act like idiots and I'm not going to end up like that."
"You mean me."
"I mean all of my friends," Mimi smiled.
"N-No, I put it together. So, you have to go. Please?"
"You?" she questioned, eying him. "When did you find time to organize a party?"
"Okay, so Yutaka set it up. It was my idea, though."
"He didn't mention it to me."
Yamato chuckled, finishing off the bottle and throwing it in the back seat. He reached for Mimi's skirt and pulled out her phone, getting a decent grip of her ass in the process, and flipped it open, "Watch. Bastard'll call you. He just didn't want to invite me. Fuck him, I'm going anyway."
Mimi didn't say anything and sure enough, the text showed up on her phone. After contemplating a moment, listening to Yamato's drunken humming of his own basslines, she sighed, "I don't think so."
"You really should let loose, Mii."
"...you're coming back to my house and sleeping off whatever form of gasoline you just drank."
"N-No, we gotta go. Everyone's gonna be like 'surprise'! And shit." He chuckled.
"...Yamato."
He leaned across the seat towards her and Mimi blinked. Yamato was crawling over her and she slipped under him towards the driver's seat as he pressed his lips on hers and nearly forced his tongue through when she shoved him back. He landed in the passenger seat with a pouty expression.
Yamato sighed, "...I guess I will go leap off a roof, then."
"Don't guilt trip me. I'm not your mother."
"...got that right," the blonde muttered and laid his head back. Soon, as Mimi started driving to the address Yutaka had texted her, she heard him snoring. She glanced around the car. She noticed his bass in the back seat, the strings broken and a chip in the edge. The neck had been bandaged back together. The ashtray was overflowing onto the stick-shift. She sighed and turned the car around and started back towards her house.
"Mom..." Yamato mumbled.
Mimi tapped her fingers against the steeringwheel as she continued the drive to her parents'. Eventually she turned on the radio to drown out Yamato's whimpers and tossing. She could put enough together and as much as she wanted to help him, it broke her heart to hear it. Finally, the music forced back her tears. She paused at a red light and reached over, brushing back his bangs. His forehead was on fire.
"Here, Yamato, something soothing," she whispered to him, switching from the generic nu-metal station to classical-inspired. At this, he seemed to ease a little and fall into his own oblivion.
When Mimi pulled up, her mother was waving bye to the Kookie Kitchen crew. Mimi opened the door and shut it gently, letting Yamato sleep.
"Mimi...? What in the world is that thing you're driving?" she questioned.
"Um, well, it's my friend's car."
"Oh, should we buy you another? Did this one get totalled, too? Ew, you should have called us."
"N-No," Mimi started. "My friend got a little too tipsy at the afterparty. Can he stay here for the night?" Mimi glanced between her mother and the car. "He's one of the old Chosen Children. Please?"
"I suppose. Mimi, when did you taste in boy's change?"
"Ugh, Mom!" Mimi barked. "I am not attracted to him."
Mimi smiled as she scanned the last image she needed for her "great plan" from her computer desk. Nearby, on a guest futon, Yamato was sleeping. The door was open, letting the scent of sugar cookies drift through.
"Ah, fuck..." Yamato breathed. "Where the Hell am I?"
"Oh, Yamie," Mimi said. "I brought you home because you passed out in the car."
"...I did?" Yamato questioned, feeling guilt sweep him. His eyes landed on the computer where he saw some kind of invitation. "What's that?"
Mimi clicked it away, "None of your business."
"...do I smell cake?"
"Cookies. And no, you can't have them."
"Well, this trip was a bust, I suppose," Yamato sighed.
"You did manage to kiss me. I'm not happy about that," Mimi said, letting him win just one, even if he technically hadn't. What he had admitted to her still made her hands shake.
"Oh, really?" he asked slyly.
Mimi nodded, expecting that arrogant asshole to show through.
"...I'm sorry."
"...what?"
"I just... I'm sorry about everything," he admitted, sitting up. His eyes darted across the floor and he could hear Mimi's parents in the next room, talking about some 'blonde punk' staying in their house. Then he remembered crawling over the seat. "Fuck, I didn't force myself on you... did I?"
"N-No, nothing like that," Mimi reassured, puzzled by the blonde's sudden remorse. "Yamato, you okay?"
"Um, yeah... Fine," the blonde said, trying to force a laugh. "You might want to wash the sheets."
"What did you do?" she insisted.
"They smell like smoke, gutter brain," the blonde replied, sitting up. He stood and stretched, but groaned. His entire body ached and he looked around. Mimi's room was completely pink, as he always imagined it. There was a poster of Sorrow Sea on the wall, framed and autographed. She had a second desk that was immaculate but dusty. Above was one of those cardboard DIY picture holders. Yamato scanned them, mostly of Mimi's girly friends, but he caught the occasional glimpse of the Chosen, too, including himself, looking surprised and tired. Like a ghost.
Mimi yawned.
"Tired?" Yamato questioned.
"I've just been working a lot lately. Helping Mom, too. Taking care of you," she said the last part jokingly, even if it was true. "Although, it is about time for bed. Remember, you're only sleeping here because we don't have any spare bedrooms."
"Right," Yamato smiled.
"My door is open."
"Mimi..." the blonde whispered, pulling the blanket back over him as he settled in, "I would be the last person to ever subject someone to the pain I've been through. If you never believe anything else I say, believe that."
Mimi stirred late in the night. She wondered for a moment if she was back in the Digital World because everything felt so surreal to her.
"Mm- stop."
Mimi rubbed her eyes and glanced over at the futon she had rolled out for Yamato. He rolled over in his sleep.
"Please stop," his voice mumbled and cracked.
"Yamato?" she questioned. Are you crying? "Yamato?"
"...don't touch me!" he cried, opening his eyes suddenly. He quickly realized where he was and tried to control his breathing. He glanced over at Mimi who was sitting on the edge of her bed. "...what is it?"
"You were talking in your sleep."
"Fuck," Yamato muttered, feeling tears run down his cheeks. "Go back to sleep, Mimi."
"...Yamato," Mimi repeated. "You're not okay. Everyone can see that. Why don't you just talk about it? You did earlier."
"I... what did I tell you? What did you hear?" Yamato hissed with panic, then chuckled. He tossed the blanket off of him and stood, then walked over to the french doors that lead to Mimi's tiny private balcony. "It hasn't changed anything, though, has it? What happened, still has happened."
"But it's in the past and you have lots of people willing to help you."
"Help me..." Yamato whispered. How in the Hell would having all of you know what a monster my mother was help me?! "No. I relive it everytime I close my eyes..." Yamato turned and smiled at her.
Mimi felt an immersiable amount of fear and tried to work out what Yamato was saying. Whatever happened was so horrible he couldn't let it go. Mimi had been spoiled enough not to face such things and she couldn't imagine going through something like that.
"Mimi, can I get some fresh air...? Nightmares and all."
"...o-okay, Yamato," the girl whispered, watching as he turned the knob before she could even answer.
Yamato stared at the lowered handle a moment. She had to have heard everything. Usually I get so fucking wasted I don't wake to the sound of my own voice, but even that isn't helping anymore. This feeling will never stop...
He stepped out onto the balcony and looked around. Before he knew it he was climbing up onto the fencing and hanging onto the side of the building with one hand for balance as he stared down the two stories below. He hoped it was high enough.
"Yamato!" Mimi wailed, running out to the balcony in her nightgown. She grabbed the blonde as he let go and struggled to hold him, managing only to get his waist-down on her side of the fence. He struggled a moment but she was strong and pulled him back over the edge.
"What the... what the Hell did you do that for?!" Yamato screamed, still in tears.
"I should be asking you!" Mimi retorted, trying to catch her breath. She held a hand to her chest and tried to climb back to her feet, but her legs wouldn't let her.
Yamato closed his eyes. "...Mimi. Just let me die."
"No, I won't accept that," she replied.
"I've wanted to die... long before Sora fucked up my life... it's just this was the last straw," Yamato replied. He waited a moment and started to sob into his arms. All he could think about the entire time was how pathetic he looked and how much of a failure he was. Also, the lingering embarassment of whatever Mimi had heard still stung. "Mimi..." he started. When she didn't say anything, he opened his eyes.
"Mimi...?" Yamato questioned. He let the tears fall to his cheeks so he could see. He saw her lying on the ground. "Mimi...?! Fuck." He leant over her and let his head rest against her chest. She was breathing, weakly, and her heart was pounding. "Mimi, don't worry. Only one of us is gonna die tonight and it's not going to be you," he whispered, lifting her and rushing her to the living room and her parents.
2009
Yamato paced back and forth as he waited for Jyou. He was only a beginner in pre-med school, but he still had some pull and managed to find out how Mimi was since no one could see her except her parents and Evin. Even Andou was sitting nearby nervously, worried she had said the wrong thing that had caused the girl to suddenly collapse.
"It's just overexertion. She'll be fine," Jyou explained.
Yamato quickly embraced him, the memory of that night four years ago rushing through him where he thought he had lost her, then, too. Jyou stammered a bit and gently set Yamato way from him. That was when Jyou saw him staring at his shoes and narrowing his eyes.
"Yamato... she'll be fine I promise," Jyou started. "I read about your engagement."
"What?" the blonde questioned, looking up suddenly. "We're not engaged."
"Ah, no, I mean, you're... dating now, isn't that right?"
"I suppose. I'm not sure how much Mimi is into it, though," Yamato said with a sigh. "Fuck, this is all my fault. Again."
"Again...?" Jyou questioned. "Right... when I first started interning... it's like dejavue, isn't it?"
"Can I see her, please?"
Jyou looked away. Maybe it was true that the dark haired boy was instantly jealous and he didn't want them seeing each other, but he took a breath and rationlized things. "It's hospital policy. I can't."
"Please, Jyou, it's important."
Yamato hadn't been this insistant since the diner and wanting to go get Takeru. Jyou sighed, "I can check on her for you."
"Please," Yamato begged, reaching out for Jyou's hand. Their eyes met for a moment until Jyou jerked his arm free.
"I'm going. Wait here and don't cause problems like last time."
2005
"Mimi, you're awake," Jyou said with a grin. "You might be feeling a little weak and I can't stay too long. I'm only here because Yamato decked one of the doctors."
"Sounds like him..." Mimi whispered. She turned away.
"What's up?" Jyou questioned, leaning to try and see her.
"...Yamato, he..." Mimi started. Then she ran a hand through her hair.
"He isn't making anyone's lives easy, Mimi. It's just how he handles things. If he can make everyone else miserable, he has an excuse to be miserable..." Jyou rabbled on. Mimi took it to heart, though.
"I have a feeling that the both of you know what his real excuse is," Mimi whispered. "After all, I see how you two looked at one another, six years ago..."
"...what the Hell does that mean?"
"...how did you break your arm?" Mimi insisted.
Jyou blushed and looked away. "I-It's nothing."
"Everyone has their own things that trouble them. Everyone's told Yamato to just "handle it" without any real direction as to how. He's lost, Jyou. I think... He..."
"...what," Jyou breathed.
"Jyou, you remember when you told me stay behind and gather our friends? I'm trying to do that but this time, no one wants to come along. Last time, you went rushing off to help Yamato. You love him, after all, no matter how much you try to hide it. I'm sure Yamato has love in his heart, too, but he's scared to show it. Seems that love... is something that absolutely terrifies him. I can't believe how much we all changed."
"Mimi... it's not... like that," Jyou explained. "It's complicated."
"Would you still say that if I told you what he did tonight?"
"...and what was that? Did he sleep with you? Because, Hell, that's nothing new, now is it?"
"...hmm, seems Yamato isn't the only jaded one, Kido," Mimi spat, turning away from him so her bangs whipped around.
"...what did Yamato do?" Jyou insisted, sorry for the remark.
"Kido," came the voice of the doctor from the door. "I can't let you stay any longer. She's fine, as you can see."
Jyou stood and bowed to him, then turned to Mimi, taking her hand. He let it go slowly and left the room. That was when he noticed the shiner on his mentor's left eye. Jyou sighed and began giggling to himself at the thought of a pair of doctors who looked like they had trekked through Hell themselves. "No... we've merely just stood on the edge of the knife," Jyou mused.