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Chapter 4: The day after yesterday's tomorrow's day before five days after three days after the week before yesterday.
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(Two hours after the meeting Giant Breadbug finally makes it to the very front gates of Hole of Heroes.)

Hermit Crawmad: What do you want?

Giant Breadbug: I have an appointment in Hole of Heroes, floor 11.

Hermit Crawmad: (laughs) I don't suppose you have a guide, do you?

Giant Breadbug: Err... I was pretty sure I wasn't going to need one.

Hermit Crawmad: Well, we do have guides for sale... But it is going to cost you a small fee.

Giant Breadbug: Oh, ok! What is it?

Hermit Crawmad: One nacho!

Giant Breadbug: BLASPHEMY! YOU'LL NEVER TAKE IT ALIVE! (Mouth starts foaming)

Hermit Crawmad: (shrugs) Help yourself gate is lowered But I warned you... You might spend your whole live in that cave...

Giant Breadbug: Oh yeah? Why's that?

Hermit Crawmad: It's because of the... (dramatic music plays) Morphagig! (thunder strikes in the background, frying the record player dramatic music ends) OH DARN IT! That stupid lightning bolt ruins my scam every time! How am I going to get rich when it keeps busting my record player?

Giant Breadbug: Listen, just how big could this single cave be? I'll be in and out in no time, you'll see! (runs down the path and enters the Hole of Heroes)

Hermit Crawmad: I guess they finally gotten around to installing a cafeteria... Must've run out of bread or something.

(Meanwhile, at the Dream Den.)

Titan Dweevil: (showing the Disco Ball around his floor) It's a real comfy place and I know you'll enjoy your stay.

Disco Ball: (Great... Just great... I get to spend the rest of my existence with this lunatic)

Titan Dweevil: You're purdy.

Disco Ball: ( Wo-wwait a second... What are you doing?)

Titan Dweevil: I think I'll go... Turn off the lights...

Disco Ball: (Oh no! (shrieks in terror))

(Back at the Hole of Heroes, floor 1...)

Giant Breadbug: (stomach growls) I'm hungry... (spots three sunflowers sticking out of the ground) Nothing like some flowers as a snack! (takes a bite out of the middle flower) This tastes funny.

Creeping Chrysanthemum: (emerges) AHH! Leggo my neck!

Giant Breadbug: Why?

Creeping Chrysanthemum: For I am the mighty, all knowing, Creeping Chrysanthemum!

Giant Breadbug:... The Creeping Candycane?

Creeping Chrysanthemum: NO! The Creeping Chrysanthemum!

Giant Breadbug: That's what I said! The Creeping Cookie Monster!

Creeping Chrysanthemum: Ok, let's practice saying it: The Creeping.

Giant Breadbug: The Creeping.

Creeping Chrysanthemum: Chrys.

Giant Breadbug: Chrys.

Creeping Chrysanthemum: Anth.

Giant Breadbug: Anth.

Creeping Chrysanthemum: Emum.

Giant Breadbug: Emum.

Creeping Chrysanthemum: Now say it all together!

Giant Breadbug: The Creeping Crybaby!

Creeping Chrysanthemum: You know what? Forget the name. Just know that you aren't supposed to eat me.

Giant Breadbug: And why is that?

Creeping Chrysanthemum: Because I'm a living thing! And it's a crime to kill something!

Giant Breadbug: You see, normally I'd agree with you, but it isn't considered killing if you eat a sunflower. You are a plant, correct?

Creeping Chrysanthemum: I am, BUT, I have feelings, unlike most other ones.

Giant Breadbug: My point was that you are a plant, and that is all that matters. So hold still while I break your neck-

Creeping Chrysanthemum: You mean stem.

Giant Breadbug: Yes, that's right, your stem, so I may feast on the gluttony that is your body.

Creeping Chrysanthemum: Are you calling me fat, punk?

Giant Breadbug: You have got to be the fattest thing in this cave!

Creeping Chrysanthemum: Well, I was the second largest, but since you entered, I've been third!

Sheargrubs: OOOOOOOOOHHHHHH! BURN!

Giant Breadbug: That's it. It ends here, and it ends now. Bring it pencil-neck!

Creeping Chrysanthemum: Look who's talking no-neck!

Sheargrubs: OOOOOOOOOHHHHHH! DOUBLE-BURN!

Giant Breadbug: You're next!

Creeping Chrysanthemum: What are you waiting for punk? Put your big, freakishly huge mouth where your money is!

Giant Breadbug: YAHHHHHH! (Rams into Creeping Chrysanthemum's belly knocking him to the ground)

Creeping Chrysanthemum: AHH! Get me up! I knew I should've bought those legs at the store!

Giant Breadbug: (jumps on Creeping Chrysanthemum's face and gets a death-grip on his stem) How 'bout them muffins?

Creeping Chrysanthemum: Err... Mercy?

Giant Breadbug: Too late! (tears off Creeping Chrysanthemum's mouth, causing the entire body to vanish except the mouth) WHAT? This is such a rip-off! Oh well, I bet the mouth tastes good. (takes bite) YUCK! It's all spiky and stuff! Forget you man, you taste horrible!

Sheargrub: Uhh... You already killed him...

Giant Breadbug: Nobody insults me! Got it? Lest ye wants to be eaten by the master of mouths!

Sheargrubs: By the way, we weren't booing at you. You were awesome man. Yeah... Awesome...

Giant Breadbug: Not that it matters. I have an important appointment on Floor 11. See you later! (leaves)

Sheargrub #1: Do you think he's gonna make it?

Sheargrub #7: Nah... Maybe... That was some display of courage back there. Maybe he has what it takes to reach the goal...

(Meanwhile, at the Bulblax Kingdom...)

Fiery Bulblax: (Walks into Emperor Bulblax's room) Sir? There is something very important I have to tell you.

Emperor Bulblax: (too busy singing) MIGHTY MORPHING MONKEY MEN! What'cha gonna do, when they poo on j00? MIGHTY MORPHING MONKEY MEN! (notices Fiery Bulblax) OHH! Story time already?

Fiery Bulblax: No, but the security is getting angry. They believe they are getting underpaid and they are getting no breaks.

Emperor Bulblax: Daddy said to show them punks who is boss! If I start changing my policies, they'll get the better of me!

Fiery Bulblax: Listen here: Either you give us good working conditions, or we quit! You are running us crazy with these insane shifts! You know full well the Pikmin won't attack at night!

Emperor Bulblax: The Pikmin? Who cares about the Pikmin? Night-time is when all the REAL bad guys attack!

Fiery Bulblax: Like...?

Emperor Bulblax: Like the Sandman, The tooth fairy, The boogie man, Santa Clause, The Easter Bunny... Are you writing these down?

Fiery Bulblax: You know that they all don't-

Emperor Bulblax: They exist I say! I know they do! THE INTERNET NEVER LIES!1!1!11!1ONE+ONE!111111!

Fiery Bulblax: So what if they do, there's no reason for the pesticide squad to be working the triple-shift!

Emperor Bulblax: What about Cooties huh? I'm young and weak, one cootie germ is enough to kill me!

Fiery Bulblax: What about your mom? Why doesn't she have cooties?

Emperor Bulblax: Because she's too old! And she's already outlived the cooties!

Fiery Bulblax: But to the point, we need more supplies, and other things.

Emperor Bulblax: HA! Well maybe you should've thought about that before you became my guards!

Fiery Bulblax: Sir? You commanded us to be your guards, we had no say in it!

Emperor Bulblax: Cotton Cubes! You could leave me here and now, you always knew that!

Fiery Bulblax: FINE! Then I'll leave you along with nearly all of your guards!

Emperor Bulblax: PAH! See if I care! I can survive on my own, I'm a strong guy! Just like my father!

Fiery Bulblax: That's exactly what your dad said before he got killed.

Emperor Bulblax: (gasp) What did you just say?

Fiery Bulblax: Your dad's dead kid, accept it.

Emperor Bulblax: (cries) You mean he didn't just take an all expense paid one way trip to Montana? (throws temper tantrum)

Fiery Bulblax: Um... Ok...

Emperor Bulblax: You're fired punk! Leave!

Fiery Bulblax: Is that supposed to be some sort of cruel, sick joke! Why, I never! I'm leaving for good! (leaves)

Emperor Bulblax: ... Was my mom lying to me all along? Is everything she told me a lie? (opens family album and looks at various pictures. In all of them Widow Empress is in the corner eating a pile of food)... Well I'll be if I sit here like a wuss! I'm going to go and find the truth! Ace detective Emperor Bulblax... AWAY! (runs into wall) I knew that! (runs out of the cave)

(Meanwhile, Hole of Heroes, Floor 2.)

Giant Breadbug: (crawling along the floor) Haven't eaten in... 30 seconds... Need... Fat and malnurishment...

Antenna Beetle: (drops in) YO! I have another package for a "Geeky Long-Legs". You know where I could find him?

Giant Breadbug: I can be the Geeky dude if that package has food in it.

Antenna Beetle: Err... It's just a moldy cookie!

Giant Breadbug: GREAT! I'm this Geeky Long-Legs! The guy that sent it is a good friend of mine!

Antenna Beetle: You mean "I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOU CHOKE AND DIE YOU STUPID FACE-LACKING FREAK!" Is your best pal?

Giant Breadbug: Yeah sure whatever. GIMME COOKIE! (eats the cookie, and suddenly turns green)

Antenna Beetle: Are you alright dude?

Giant Breadbug:... Quick... Pancake-Bismol... Please...

Antenna Beetle: Umm... I don't have any...

Giant Breadbug: GAH! Get me on the third floor! Fast!

Antenna Beetle: It's dead ahead!

Giant Breadbug! Thanks! Get out of here while you still can, this is going to be ugly...

Antenna Beetle: Anyway, see you later dude! (leaves)

Giant Breadbug: (jumps in Floor 3) Everybody out NOW! Unless you want to die a painful death, get moving!

Watery Blowhog: Why?

Giant Breadbug: I've got really bad gas and I'm afraid I'm going to use it!

Withery Blowhog: Please, like a fart is going to kill us. Bring it one man!

Puffy Blowhog: Yeah! Bring it!

Giant Breadbug: (sigh) Don't say I didn't warn you... (after he farts, there is a great flash of light, and then the room shakes violently. Everything falls to the floor dead.) I really need to learn how to control my gas. Oh well, I warned them and they didn't believe me, not my bad.. (whistles and enters Floor 4)

(Meanwhile, in the Submerged Castle.)

Yellow Wollywog: SIR! SIR! You HAVE to check this thing out!

Waterwraith: You just interrupted my hourly temper-tantrum. This had better be good.

Yellow Wollywog: Well, you see sir, me and the others were checking out the tunnels when we came across the strangest thing... You better see for yourself... (shows Waterwraith two large stone rollers) These things were so odd, we thought you might be interested...

Waterwraith: (jumps on the rollers and runs over stuff) WOAH! This is cool! I never used to be able to run over stuff! Finally! My patience has paid off! Soon my enemies will know a new meaning to the word "revenge". ... And "road kill"... And "pancakes"... And "STREAMROLLER'D"... MUHUHA-

Anode Beetle: Do you mind? I'm trying to cry myself to sleep here!

Waterwraith: Oh, sorry... (INSERT EVIL LAUGHING HERE.)

(Meanwhile, in the Cavern of Chaos.)

Segmented Crawbster: (wakes up suddenly) AHH!

Gatling Groink: What's wrong?

Segmented Crawbster: I just had a feeling that something horrible just happened...

Gatling Groink: Well, just go back to sleep.

Segmented Crawbster: I don't think I can... Can you get me some warm milk?

Gatling Groink: (Why oh why do I do this for a living?) (hands warm milk) There you go, and don't forget your Pikmin plushie! (hands it to Segmented Crawbster)

Segmented Crawbster: (drinks milk and snuggles with Pikmin plushie) Thanks. (is about to go to sleep, but eyes open again) Oh, and you know what I'll do to you if you tell anyone about this, right?

Gatling Groink: Kill me and wait for me to heal so you can kill me again and again to make my life a never ending typhoon of pain and misery?

Segmented Crawbster: Bingo. (Snuggles with Pikmin plushie and goes to sleep)

Gatling Groink: (This has got to be the most disturbing thing I have ever seen)

(Meanwhile, at the Hole of Heroes, Floor 4.)

Giant Breadbug: Huh... Nothing horrible about this place, just a giant indentation in the center. I should-

Pileated Snagret #2: (surfaces) HA! Where do you think you're going?

Giant Breadbug: To Floor 11.

Pileated Snagret #2: Oh... Umm... No way fatty!

Giant Breadbug: And you are...?

Pileated Snagret #2: Pileated Snagret #2, and my partner in... Stuff... Burrowing Snagret #2!

Burrowing Snagret #2: Yo.

Giant Breadbug: (rolls on the floor laughing) You're both #2! Hahahahaha!

Burrowing Snagret #2: Kill him?

Pileated Snagret #2: Kill him.

Giant Breadbug: Uh-Oh...

Burrowing Snagret #2: spaghetti-O!

Pileated Snagret #2: Eat beak! (starts chasing Giant Breadbug around)

Giant Breadbug: (Wait, if I leap the gap, that will stall them long enough for me to get through! W00TAGE!) (runs toward hole in the center)

Burrowing Snagret #2: (surfaces in the center of the pit) Going somewhere?

Giant Breadbug: I can do this! YAH! (slow-mo)(Giant Breadbug leaps into the air, but only goes half an inch and starts rolling down the hole as slow-mo stops) Aww Wheaties... (rolls down and hits Burrowing Snagret #2 straight in the face, stunning him) W00T! (starts running out of the hole)

Pileated Snagret #2: Why do I have to work with an idiot? (leaps into the hole)

Burrowing Snagret #2: (is snapping back) Oh, that punk is- (looks up) Awww man... (gets smashed by Pileated Snagret #2) AHH! You're letting him get away!

Pileated Snagret #2: I am? You're the idiot who let him pass by without a fight!

Burrowing Snagret #2: Hey, just because you have a foot doesn't make you better than me! That's one more part of you that smells!

Pileated Snagret #2: SILENCE! steps on Burrowing Snagret #2's face

Giant Breadbug: Almost... At... Freedom... huff... (runs out of the hole and dashes towards the tunnel that leads to the next floor)

Pileated Snagret #2: AHH! (is gaining on Giant Breadbug)

Giant Breadbug: (slides into the tunnel at last minute, causing Pileated to ram his head straight into it) HA! IN YOUR FACE!

Pileated Snagret #2: Grr... (burrows)

Giant Breadbug: Yeah you'd better start burrowing! Punk...

Pileated Snagret #2: (head surfaces right behind Giant Breadbug) Miss me? (starts pecking at him)

Giant Breadbug: I've had enough of you! Check this out! (rams into wall, causing a boulder to fall on Pileated Snagret #2's face)

Pileated Snagret #2: Ouch... I give... burrows

Giant Breadbug: W00T! (proceeds to Floor 5) Dang... I'm sleepy (notices a Bulbmin)

Bulbmin: AHHH! I need help! AHHH! The voices in my head! Make 'em stop!

Giant Breadbug: Why don't you go to where they are holding a meeting? There are lot's of smart people at meetings.

Bulbmin: Huh... Never thought of that... (leaves)

Giant Breadbug: (gee... I hope I'm not missing any meetings they might be having... But I really need to thank whoever sent me that mountain of food... Hey, is that a nacho? One nacho... Two nachos... Three nachos... Four nachos... ZZZZZZZZzzzz)

FIN

(Will Giant Breadbug make it to Floor 11? Will Segmented Crawbster's horrible secret ever get out? Will Waterwraith get revenge on those who wronged him? Will we have the answers to these questions by the end of the fic? Find out... By the end of the fic!)