He could hardly say no, could he? He really didn't want to go on a hiking trip. Jack had said it was purely recreational, but Ianto knew there was a deeper meaning. They didn't just take holidays. He fully expected to be told once there that coincidentally, there was something alien that in the end would likely try to kill them. He used to rather like camping, but after his last countryside experience, he was much less enthusiastic. Jack insisted it would be fine, it being Scotland and very very far from Wales. He was right, it was different - much more hill-y. The accents of the locals were a stark contrast to the norm, and to be honest it did feel much calmer than he'd expected because of it.

The drive up had been dull for Ianto. The girls had gossiped the entire way, all (what seemed) 100 hours of it. Owen interjected here and there, complained about being squashed in the back seat with them, got into a fight with Gwen at some stage, and was silenced by the Captain. Jack tried to keep the spirits light hearted with jokes, bad ones, but some made Ianto laugh at least.

Ianto was continuing his role of 'resource provider', gathering firewood for the night that was setting in. Owen was in charge of setting up the tent. With an armful of dead wood, Ianto returned to the campsite and burst out laughing.

"Oi! Shut it!" Owen snapped. He'd somehow managed to get his shirt collar stuck in the top of the tent, his shoelace pegged into the ground, and he was facing away from the tent so couldn't free himself.
"How did you...?"

"I'm going to tear this fucking thing apart! Don't just stand there, help me out!"
"Where are the others?"
"Fucked if I know. Now, pain, not getting any better..."

Giggling, Ianto helped to free Owen. It was more complicated than it looked: undoing the peg pinning his foot would flip the rod up into his face. The dark voice in Ianto's head saw it as a tempting chance for revenge. He sighed though, he could never be that malicious, despite what they thought of him. After a bit of wriggling, Owen was released.

"I'm done. You guys can do the tents. I'll go get more of the stuff from the car."
Owen walked off. Dejectedly Ianto picked up the poles and started setting up the tent. There were two more to go. Holding up one of the rods, he talked to himself.

"I always seem to get the short stick, don't I?"

In little time, all three tents were set up around the fireplace. Jack and Owen had brought all of the supplies over from the SUV, and the girls had apparently also gone for wood, coming back with armfuls of sticks. Jack expertly lit the fire, and before long they were sitting around it.

"Ok, ok. Your turn." Gwen said to Tosh.

"Never have I ever... shredded a document and said I'd not received it."

Gwen laughed as all four took a drink.

"I don't think you get the concept, Tosh. It's supposed to be ... saucy." Jack said, raising his eyebrows.

"Alright. Well it's your turn, Jack."
"'Ere we go, no doubt there's some seriously fucked up shit coming." Owen chimed in.
"Never have I ever... hm... never have I ever...alright alright circle back to me while I think of something." Living so long makes this particular game rather difficult.

"Ianto." Jack stated. Ianto looked startled; he was gazing into the flames and lost in thought.

"Oh um, never have I ever ...oh, right, saucy. Ok. Kissed a girl at work."

"Seriously?" Tosh asked. Ianto nodded.
"Notice: girl." Owen said, raising his glass and drinking. Ianto blushed a bit.

It was Gwen's turn, and she had something she wanted to find out about the Captain.
"Never have I ever given a girl oral."

Jack laughed, knowing it was directed at him.
"Sorry Gwen." He took a large sip of his scotch. Owen drank, and so did Tosh. Ianto remained still. No one mentioned anything, but they were surprised at Tosh's response: not that they minded, they just were never told before.

"Well, never have I ever done it on a co-worker's desk." Tosh eyed Jack as she spoke.

Again, Jack drank. Ianto was growing tired of this. They never cared to ask anything important about his life, and now the only questions he was being asked about said personal life were these crude adolescent questions that served only as mockery.

"I'm going to bed. You guys can stay up and chat, but I'm had it for today."

And with that, Ianto turned around and went into his tent. Jack would undoubtedly come in later, and likely want to play, but Ianto hoped that if he fell asleep quick he'd avoid it. It's not that he didn't want to be intimate with Jack, he just didn't feel like it right now. It'd been hard to stomach watching the steaks grill over the fire, and he didn't want to be touched. He unzipped his sleeping bag entirely and pulled it over himself as a blanket. No restriction for him tonight. There was a double air mattress in his and Jack's tent, which took up most of the floor space. Still, he was able to manoeuvre out of his pants to sleep in underwear.

Figures.

No one protested, they all had just continued their game. He had secretly hoped Jack would follow him - not for sex, but to check on him. Sadness washed over him, and tears ran down his face.

They don't want me around. And Jack doesn't care enough to even pop his head in. What's the point of even staying and pretending?

He muffled the sobs as best he could. He felt so trapped - there was only one way to leave. He couldn't do that though. The more he thought about it, the more he realised how little he had left to live for. The pit of his stomach dropped and he felt a cold wash over him.

Surely there must be more than Jack to stay for?

There wasn't though. He knew it, deep down. And he wasn't even sure if Jack's affections were genuine. He felt a panic, but it was dulled with a deep depression. Was it peace? Relief? Or just the numbing of the depression?

No. I couldn't do that to Jack. Not if he actually does care.

Ianto thought about possibly talking to Jack, but dismissed the idea. He had to keep his thoughts to himself. If Jack didn't care, then telling him would only lead to making it all worse, and possibly being unable to end it. He'd rather just die who he is, than be retconned to buggery.