Hello all, I did not think I was going to be able to get this out to you all today. I'm very pleased with myself that I was able to deliver this on time. I don't think I'll be doing that to myself again.
What started out as a one-shot that then turned into a short multi-chapter story has now grown again, I think. Maybe.
I've been having problems keeping my tenses straight. I'm reading the Twilight Saga right now and the first person POV is messing with my head. I hope I was able to fix it (if there is even a problem, I've been known to over-think things)
This was going to be just from Dean's POV but I wanted it to eventually make it out of the pre-slash phase and into actually slash and believe it or not it's *easier* to do that with Castiel. I hope I kept him ture to his voice and that this didn't come off preachy.
Castiel knows that it is a dangerous path he has choosen to follow, he knows that eventually his actions will have consequences. When the time comes he will have to answer for his own disobedience. There is a part of him though that knows something is wrong; that things have changed since he was last home. Castiel was relying on what his orders had been: Protect Dean Winchester at all cost; at any cost. Uriel had been the one to come to him with his demotion and thrusted him into the front line of battle. He wonders now how many of Uriel's orders had been recieved from their superiors and how many of them were fabricated to move his blasphemous agenda forward. Another even more frightening thought was how many of those orders had not been fabricated and which of their superiors was the one orchestrating this Converison. Sadness washes over him when he thinks of his seven brothers and sisters that were slain because their faith and loyality was strong enough to resist Uriel's offer. Anger, a new and frightening feeling, boils inside him when he thinks of the ones who said yes. How could they betray their Father, their faith to worship Lucifer? The Fallen Angel and bringer of all this pain. When Uriel had asked if Castiel remembered Lucifer he had not answered, but he did. He remembered his contempt for Humanity and his jealousy; two things Castiel could not understand; he had not felt these emotions and he could not see how Lucifer felt them towards humans.
"Deep in thought Castiel?" He raised his head from the bow it often took these days when he was lost deep in thought. Something that had been new and at first exciting for the angel. Having his thoughts run wild wondering about the things in this world and how much he wanted to experience all of them. Now he was finding it bothersome, his head would spin from how quickly he moved from one thought to the next.
"My apologies Ezekial," Castiel stood, "The Seal? Was it secured?"
"Yeah we got there in time." Azrael spoke up, his eyes were wide with excitement. "What is it like?" Azrael was not an angel who had been made for fighting wars but as numbers dwindle so does the choice of who comes to Earth to fight.
Castiel looked at the older angel and was unsurprised by Ezekail's frown, "We are not here to discuss our brother's---changes." The way he said changes left no room for doubt about how he felt of Castiel refusing revelation and embracing these new emotions.
"Maybe you're not but I wouldn't mi---" Ezekial cut him off with a glare. "Okay."
Ezekial looked at Castiel, "Take us to your human."
'Your Human,' Castiel felt a flutter in his stomach and was unsure of what it meant; he had felt it before mostly when he was with Dean but something had been stopping him from asking the man about it. "Very Well," Castiel placed a hand on either of their shoulders.
"Do you have to keep him so hidden? As far as we know he is not a target for the demons, yet." Ezekail said in the motel room.
Dean jumped up from his position on his bed. Castiel had warned Dean that he would be bringing his brother's to meet him today, but he knew now how much it set the young man on edge that they could appear like they did.
"I think it's sweet." Azrael grinned looking Dean over; Castiel's fist balled on their own accord at the look the young angel gave his charge.
"Hey C-Cas," Dean's hand twitched forward before he crossed his arms over his chest tightly. Castiel knew this stance, Dean was trying to look calm. "You're late." It had been a little over a month since the night Castiel allowed harm to come to Dean and since the young man would become upset if Castiel was gone longer than he said or if was late. Castiel understood that Dean was scared the something would happen to him.
"I know," He stepped towards the skittish man Dean's eyes were moving wildly between him and his brothers, ruining his calm facade. "I was waiting on my brothers."
"We were busy securing a seal or have you forgotten this is a war we fight." Ezekial snapped out, his eyes smoldering when he looked at Dean. Dean took several steps back his knees hitting the bed, he sat down heavily. Castiel recongized the look in Dean's eyes, fear. He turned putting himself in between his brothers and Dean.
"Leave him be," Castiel had never heard his vessal's voice sound like this, the normal gravely pitch dropped lower. He had heard animals sound like this, a growl.
A harsh amusement came over Ezekial's face, "He may have been a blasphemous traitor but he was not wrong." He flicked his wrist in dismissal. "I have heard enough of his sniveling voice. You can rest assured Castiel I will watch over him." He gave Dean one more look, "It would seem that our Saviour will need all the help he can get." Then he was gone.
Azrael stepped forward his own kinder amusement coming to his vessal's features when Castiel stepped foward also. Looking pass Castiel Azrael said to Dean, "Another time I would love to talk to you." Dean nodded once, shakily. Then Azrael too departed.
Alone with Dean finally Castiel joined him on the bed their knees bumping softly. "I did not know that Ezekial would treat you like that. I did not realized, I am sorry."
Dean grabbed his hand and threaded their fingers deftly, "Told you not to trust'em." He mumbled.
"They are trustworthy." Castiel said strongly, Dean snorted. "Most angels are not like me. They would never question or defy orders as I have and will."
"No angel is like you." Dean sighed when head dropped to Castiel's shoulder. A smile threaten to spread across his face; he was never happier then when his charge was at peace.
"Azrael is like me. He is younger and has much more innocence then my other siblings that are here with us on Earth."
"Whatever," Dean was not as relaxed as Castiel had first thought. He did the only thing he knew to make Dean more at peace. Pulling his hand softly from Dean's he wrapped it around his back and brought him closer. They sat there in silence both lost in thought. Castiel worries about his path with Dean; he over thinks all the small touches between them trying to decide if something is too much. He wonders if he allows it to go too far. The knuckles of Dean's right hand brushed softly at Castiel's knee and the other slipped along his stomach and came to rest on Castiel's hip. The tension was slowing ebbing from Dean's body and he tried to push the rambling, unpleasant thoughts from his mind. Dean moved his right hand to gently run over Castiel's shoulder blades an annoyed huff escaped his lips.
"What is it that you are looking for?" Castiel barely notices his own hand softly running up and down Dean's side.
Dean snatched his hand away and let it fall to the bed, "Nothing... Well, maybe. Where are they?" Dean moved his hand over his back one more time.
"My wings?" Since the first time Castiel wrapped Dean in his wings it was something both of them wanted to do as much as possible. He could feel the happiness it brought Dean and for himself it was a bond that he did not wish to share with any other. "They are there... in a way. It is a mystery that I do not truly know how to explain. When I wish them to be corporal they are."
"You still wont let me see them?" Dean ran his hand along Castiel's upper back again.
"It is important to you?" He could not explain his hesitance to show Dean his wings. Whenever he thought of actually doing it his face would feel warm and apprehension would fill him at the thought of Dean seeing them.
"Will they hurt me?" Dean moved and Castiel had to stifle the gasp that threaten to escape his lips when Dean's nose brushed against his neck.
Dean lifted his head to look at Castiel but he could not meet his eyes, instead he answered his question quickly. "Not in the way my body would."
"Ah," Dean put his head back. "Wings are human-friendly, huh?"
Castiel did smile this time, "Something like that I suppose." He responded after some time. "I had a question.. about an emotion."
"Shoot," Dean sounded half asleep, Castiel guided them back to lay on the bed. Dean turned and curled his body into his own.
"When my brothers were here---Azrael---I felt something when he looked at you. It was new and---" He had never had so much difficulty explaining something to Dean. "I did not like how he smiled at you." Castiel finally forced out.
Dean laughed and his hot breathe puffed across Castiel's exposed collar bone. "Sounds like jealousy to me. Aw Cas I didn't know you cared."
"Jealousy?" Castiel did not want to have this unpleasant and dangerous emotion, he wanted to rip it from his body and never think about it again. Then something Dean said caught up to him. "Of course I care about you. I care deeply for you Dean." Castiel grabbed Dean by the chin and made the man look him in the eye. "I know you doubt much but never doubt that."
Dean shook his head a few times his eyes never leaving Castiel's. "I don't. It was a joke Cas."
Castiel's head cleared with those words and he aburtly let go of Dean's chin and allowed him to lay his head back down. "Of course. I am very new to jokes. Their concept alludes me." Dean's body started to shake slightly it took the angel a moment to realize that it was laughter that made him move. "Why do you laugh?"
"It---It--" Laughter kept Dean from speaking for a moment. "Jokes a joke, I just never thought it would be difficult for someone to understand the concept."
Castiel deverted his eyes and could feel that fimilar flush on his cheeks, "What is this?" He gestured to his face.
"Embarassment." Dean brushed a finger over one of Castiel's cheeks. "Wow, I didn't think you could blush."
"My vessal can do all of it's normal functions." He was defensive now and he understood why he did not want to show his wings to Dean. He was embarassed, what if they were not what Dean had thought they would be... What if he made fun of them.
"Hey," It was Dean now that was forcing Castiel to meet his eyes. "I'm not making fun of you." They must have looked strange there on the bed. Castiel flat on his back with Dean hovering over him holding his face in place with a warm hand on Castiel's cheek.
"Have you been praying like I told you to?" Castiel had to distract himself some how; images of Dean leaning down closer were filling his head, as it was all Castiel would have to do---
"Oh woah, sorry." They both twisted to find Sam Winchester and the demon standing in the doorway watching them. Without a word Castiel left and was not present as Dean fell, no longer supported by Castiel, to the bed with a huff.
Castiel found himself atop of a building in a city that seemed to never sleep. His head hung in shame between his drawn up knees. He knew exactly what he would have done if Sam had not open the door at that moment; he would have kissed Dean.
"It may not have been such a bad idea." Castiel's head jerked to find Anna sitting beside him.
"It is wrong." He said with venom.
"It's relative." Anna sat beside him allowing her legs to dangle over the building ledge. "You could have easily taken the vessal of a female, then would it be wrong?"
Castiel looked at her with incredulous eyes, "Yes." Castiel hissed. "It would be still wrong. You are not God Anna."
Anna's eyes had the nerve to look amused, "God I may not be but you and I both know who I am." Anna stood and looked down at Castiel. "Have you ever wondered why it was your soul that found his?"
"God's will." Was Castiel's response.
"Your faith is inspiring." Was the last thing Anna said to him before she disappeared. Castiel was left pondering why it had been him to find Dean; it had taken them forty years to find his soul and of all the angels it had been him, Castiel to find Dean. Now that Anna had brought the question to his mind he knew that it would not leave him easily.
I hope that last bit with Anna flowed right.
I hope everyone enjoyed I will have the next chapter out as soon as I can.