This is becoming like a soap opera! "'The Young and the Restless' is finally ending, to be replaced with a new show: 'Havoc's Love'!" (I hope that NEVER happens…)
Disclaimer: I dun own FMA. I do pwn, however, Ali's ass. So there, Ali! WHAT NOW!
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As this was happening, Havoc walked into the living room. Roy was looking happy as a clam and clutching the piece of paper. Havoc gave him a look.
"You're cheating on Hawkeye, you playa bastard." Roy winced and looked a bit guilty.
"I didn't tell you, Havoc… I broke up with her." Havoc looked at Roy with spite in his eyes.
He sighed. "I knew it, Roy. I knew you would just move on to another piece of ass."
Roy was furious. "Don't call her that! You make it sound like I'm a pimp! I'm NOT, and Makku's a wonderful, beautiful, charming woman." Roy narrowed his eyes, knowing that if he got in a fight with Havoc his next few days might not be enjoyable. He went on anyway. "You're jealous."
Havoc was outraged. "NO I'M NOT! I JUST DON'T WANT YOU TO BREAK ANOTHER GIRL'S HEART! JUST LIKE THE FIVE GIRLFRIENDS YOU STOLE FROM ME BEFORE I MET KAI! AND YOU ALMOST HAD HER!" Roy looked confused.
"What! Who! I never stole any of your girlfriends!"
"Take a wild guess why I was always unhappy! Mara, Elizabeth, Lola, Kat, and Grace! YOU STOLE THEM ALL! And then you just moved on, no remorse…"
Roy's eyes were wide and he was pale. "You have to understand, Havoc, they asked ME, I didn't steal them… I didn't even know…"
Havoc cut him off. He needed to tell Roy this. "No, no, no. Fuery told me what you said after the last one broke up with me. 'A REAL man should be able to balance the job and the girl', eh? Well, this is what I say to that!" Havoc flipped Roy the finger and stomped into his room, reminding Roy of some goddamned teenager.
Roy sighed. "Hot damn…" Kai walked in and looked at Roy. She looked sympathetic yet mad.
"I heard it all. How could you say something like that! I forgive you, but if you hurt Makku…" Kai walked over to Roy and pulled out the knife she had hidden behind her back. "I'll cut THEM off. THEN I'll kill you. And I will laugh. I will laugh maniacally."
Roy gulped and nodded. "Yes, ma'am!"
Kai gave him one last look before replacing the knife in the kitchen and walking into the bedroom to comfort Havoc.
Roy lay back down onto the couch and sighed. What was wrong with these people?…
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"How?… How can he even DO this?…" Havoc muttered. Kai walked into the room and saw him sitting with his head in his hands.
Kai sat next to him, rubbing his back. "Don't bother, Havoc. It's a waste of energy. And what if he's sincere this time?"
Havoc looked up. "Well, if he's not, then I'll have to ---!" He clenched his fists and growled.
Kai shook her head. "Don't bother threatening him, I already took care of it."
Havoc looked surprised, then thought about it a moment. It all checked out. He smiled and kissed her. "Thanks, honey."
"Dun't mention it. She's my good friend, anyway."
Havoc made a surprised face. "Really? And who's your BEST friend?"
Kai smiled. "Well, you, of course."
Havoc smiled back. "I better be. I would hate to hear that you cheated on me."
"Never. Nevernevernever. That's stupid. Besides, you haven't even met my parents yet." Havoc gulped. The dreaded meeting of the parents.
You see, Havoc never had luck when he meets his girlfriend's parents. His past experiences included:
A) Screaming, yelling, profanity, name-calling.
B) Them saying, in front of him, that she should be dating someone more high on the military food chain, like Roy.
C) Break ups because of clumsiness, parents disliking him, or just not enough money.
D) Problems with his chain smoking.
E) (insert violence here)
He was particularly worried about this one, because if he didn't work out with Kai's family and she broke up with him, then he didn't know what he'd do.
Kai saw the look on his face and laughed. "You don't have to worry! My parents are great; they'll LOVE you! We should go tomorrow!"
"How many times have I heard THAT before?…" he muttered. Kai hugged him and got up.
"I'm going to get something to drink and check the time, you want something?"
He paused a moment, then laid back on the bed. "Vodka. I need some vodka."
Kai looked at him and laughed, walking out the door. Maybe she should try some vodka.
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Kai awoke the next morning. Her hair was messier than normal and she had her arms wrapped around Havoc. She was only in her undergarments, and she didn't know what happened last night.
Her eyes widened. Did they really?..
She sat up quickly and checked the clock, learning that it was nine A.M. She saw a glass on the nightstand next to her. She picked it up and sniffed it. Vodka.
"Oh, shit…" she muttered, getting up and putting on a pair of blue pants and a black tee. It took her a moment to realize that they were both Havoc's. Shitshitdoubleshit. She went over to Havoc. "Wake up, Havoc!" she said frantically. "Wake up!" She felt an ebbing headache. Probably a hangover.
Havoc groggily opened his eyes and yawned. He sat up, blinking. "What's the problem?…"
Kai's eyes were wide. "Did we?…"
Havoc was silent a moment. "Not to say that I didn't want to," he said after a second of silence, "But I couldn't take advantage of you when you were drunk. You REALLY like Vodka…"
Kai blushed and kissed Havoc on the cheek. "Thanks. That answered my question." She stood up and walked to the door, opening it slightly.
"What!" Havoc said, getting up and quickly putting on clothes. "What does THAT mean!"
Kai turned and winked as she walked out the door. Havoc growled. Damn her and her mysterious ways.
Kai walked into the living room, noticing that Roy was still asleep. "Geez, he's a playa BUM…" Kai walked into the kitchen and made herself a glass of orange juice and champagne.
"More alcohol, Kai?" Roy said quietly, startling her.
"Holy crap, give a girl some warning…" She took a deep breath. Roy took a sip of some brandy he had on the coffee table. He had moved the couch bed in so that he was lying on the couch. Or, to be specific, the futon. "You're really not making me think any more highly of you by doing things like this, making yourself more incapacitated. You're drinking BRANDY while you're ILL, Roy. That's not very smart."
Roy smiled. "Hey, I take brandy well and it numbs the pain. Besides, I need to wake up because the giggling and ruffling of sheets from Havoc's bedroom kept me up last night."
Kai paled. Did Havoc LIE to her?…
Roy laughed. "Ha! I'm kidding. You should've seen your face, though." Kai gave him a look of hatred and sat down on the chair next to the couch.
Havoc walked through the door a moment later, his hair more neat and his eyes not looking as glassy from sleep. Roy looked at him slyly. "You have a nice sleep Ha-voc?"
Havoc narrowed his eyes. It seemed like the filthy bastard was trying to turn another girl against him, and from the tone of Roy's voice he sounded like that of a siren who might say something sweet to a man before bashing his head on a rock.
"I like your clothes, Kai." Roy said to her sweetly, his eyes narrowed in an 'I'm-so-evil' fashion. "They're a wonderful make. What are they? Havoc brand?" Roy brought his head right up next to her ear. Havoc moved forward as if to stop him, then hesitated. Maybe he was just telling her something.
Though Havoc severely doubted that, he gave Roy the benefit of the doubt. Roy bent even closer. His breath tickled her cold neck.
"…I can see your bra."
"Eeep!" Kai squealed, nearly falling over in an attempt to hide her shoulders. Roy laughed maniacally and Havoc shot him a look that stated, to anyone who might have glanced his way, 'You filthy bastard, I'LL KILL YOU! I'LL KILL YOU WITH MY BARE HANDS!'
Roy laughed and thumped Havoc hard on the back. Havoc coughed slightly. He looked at Roy confusedly. Why was HE so giddy?
"You know, Makku called earlier." Oh, so THAT was why. "While you both were sleeping. She's going to come and check up on me later." The look in his eyes told Havoc that Roy obviously wanted something more than just a check up. Havoc nearly threw up. Roy grew a bit solemn. "But she said she had to check up on a little girl, first…"
Havoc looked even more confused. "What 'little girl' would make you so serious?"
"Elysia, Havoc. Elysia Hughes." Havoc winced.
"What's wrong with Elysia?" Havoc said worriedly.
Roy shrugged. "Dunno, but I wouldn't get too hung up on it. Makku said she does check-up jobs on little kids all the time."
Kai nodded, still blushing from the predator alert. "Yeah, amazingly Makku is a professional in pediatrics. I say amazingly because Makku really hates little kids."
"Yeah… Makku doesn't seem to be the 'little kid' type." Havoc said, remembering the various stories Kai had told him about the incident with the daycare center and community service…"
"Tee hee. We used to be so BAD. But still, community service JUST for crashing a car into a street post? I mean, seriously, we were out in the COUNTRY for jebus's sakes…" Havoc and Roy exchanged looks.
Havoc got up and went to the kitchen to get himself some orange juice. "So, are we meeting your parents, Kai?" he called from the kitchen.
Kai paused a moment, snapping back from her memories. She had forgotten to call them last night! Oh well, they'll be happy to hear about that magnificent boyfriend she always talked about.
"Right! I need to call and find out what time's good for them." She got up and walked to where the phone was in the kitchen. How Roy could have gotten the phone when it was all the way over there when he was in that condition, she didn't know.
… But she also didn't know how he could take lots of brandy but not lots of wine before getting drunk. One of the world's mysteries.
She dialed the number just as Havoc walked out of the room. She wanted to be as devious and nefarious as possible so as to make Havoc stressed out. He seemed to be a bit more affectionate when he was like that, and since her question had been answered before she didn't need to worry about anything happening.
"Hello?" her father answered. Kai smiled.
"Hi! It's your favorite daughter, Kai!"
Her father laughed. "You're my only daughter."
As Kai talked to her parents, Havoc talked to Roy.
"So." Havoc said, controlling his anger of the memories from last night. "You think you really love Makku, huh?"
Roy shrugged. "Well, yeah. She's got many good qualities, and she's a really good kisser—" Havoc held up a hand.
"Too much information."
Havoc was silent a moment as he thought about how to word his next sentence. "You really haven't known her that long, Roy."
Roy nodded. "That may be true, but you haven't known Kai long." Roy lowered his voice. "I've seen the look in your eyes. You want to marry her soon, don't you? You want to marry her bad."
Havoc blushed. "Well, yeah. I haven't had a good girlfriend in a while, and this one I love, so… I don't want to lose her." Havoc snapped out of his daze. "But that's not the point! I see the way you look at Makku. You think it's love, but it's just lust. Just like all the girls you've had before…."
Oh boy. THIS argument again.
"… Except Riza." Havoc finished. "You know you love Riza, Roy. You need to accept it." Roy was in shock. "She cares about you, too. You guys are great together.
Roy was surprised. "Didn't know you paid so much attention, Havoc."
"I have to look out for my superior. Especially if my superior is some love-inferior dumb-ass."
"You shouldn't be talking, Jean." Roy said smugly. Kai walked into the room, her eyes bright.
She picked up her purse off the table in front of the couch (which Roy had moved also. Geez, that wound's probably open wide) "We can head out right now. They'll be expecting us and my mom's making breakfast."
Havoc sighed. "Oh sweet joy." Havoc stood and went to his room to dress a bit better.
Roy laughed at Havoc, but his mind was on other things. Was what Havoc said true? Was he just lusting after another woman?
It seemed Havoc knew more about his love life than Roy himself.
Kai gathered up her drink that she had made and the granola bar she was eating. She took a bite of it. "How about we stop at my apartment first?" she called to him, her mouth partly full. Charming.
Havoc walked back in wearing a pair of jeans and a bright yellow T-shirt with a casual jacket thrown on over it. He nodded. Anything to stall the parent meeting.
Kai grabbed her jacket off the chair. "So, are we ready?"
"Yeah, let's go. You can take care of yourself, right Roy?"
Roy rolled his eyes. "Yes, I'm just incapacitated, and taking medicine that makes me unable to see straight."
Havoc was about to say something, but Kai shoved him out the door with a smile. "Great, we'll be back later, bye!"
Roy waved slightly and laid back. He needed to change his bandages. But first, how about a little nap…
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"Oh, that was so FUN!" Riza said to Roy, laughing. Roy was smiling brightly.
"Yeah, can you believe the ending of the play?" Roy laughed as Riza gasped dramatically.
"It was so surprising! I would've never believed that Yuko was the murderer the whole time!"
Roy rolled his eyes. "Well, you could kind of tell. The way he talked and acted, it was very obvious."
Riza was indignant. "Some people aren't as observant as YOU are, future Fuhrer."
Roy laughed and pulled Riza in for a walking hug. She wrapped her free arm around him and they walked like that for a while, just hugging each other and smiling.
"I really do love you, Roy." Riza said quietly.
Roy was a bit startled, but he smiled even wider. "I love you too, Riza…"
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You like so far? I think it's turning out at least a little better. But the REALLY good parts are yet to come!
Please review! I love reviews! They are the wind beneath my fanfiction wings!