I Want to Know You

Chapter 4

Aria

Aria couldn't stop replaying Mr. Fitz's words inside her head, her throat closing up as sheer terror filled her belly as she controlled the rush of nausea that threatened to topple out. She felt sick. She was going to be sick as she ran to the bathroom and dropped to her knees in front of the toilet, ignoring the aching of her knees as it met the hard floor. She heaved into it, releasing the oatmeal and strawberries she'd had that morning. She hadn't been able to eat anything else. She hadn't wanted to. She didn't have much of an appetite as of late. She was losing weight, it showed, especially in her face. All of her clothes were becoming too big for her.

She was paler than normal, her red wide lips bloodless. She had bags underneath her eyes, signs of lost sleep. She was functioning like a zombie, barely functioning at all. She had gone through a lot, a seen a lot, had a lot done to her. She couldn't do this, she didn't want to. She didn't like that Mr. Fitz wanted her, wanted to sleep with her. The thought made her throw up again, heaving until she couldn't anymore. Her head swam as she gripped the sides of the toilet with her ice cold fingertips.

The thought of sex made her stomach churn again. That he would want that from her made her numb. It made her sick. Her heart ached with sadness. Flashbacks of rough hands, foul breath, and violent slaps to the face had her curling up into a ball on the floor as the odor of vomit filled her nostrils and tears blurred her vision. She was a total wreck, pathetic was what she was. She stood up on wobbly knees as she forced her legs to work, and then she stumbled into her plain looking living room. She still hadn't bothered to unpack her very few things.

She grappled with the telephone as she called in sick. There was no way she could work in her present condition. She had never missed a day of work, but today she simply couldn't do it. She hoped her students understood. She hated letting them all down. It was a shame she couldn't get her shit together. She had always adored teaching children, broadening their minds and their vocabulary. She hated being weak, sick to her soul. She had been strong once. It had been so long ago.

Aria mourned the woman she had once been, that young naive woman who had had big plans, dreams, and hopes. All those ambitions had gone straight to hell. She wasn't the same person anymore, and she couldn't go on pretending she hadn't changed. It was written all over her. She was vulnerable. She even looked weak, delicate. She was sure people saw it, especially Mr. Fitz. She had caught the way he'd looked at her, he saw into her.

Those piercing steel blue eyes saw everything, things she didn't want him to ever see. She didn't want him to want her, to desire her. She was damaged goods, no one should want her, least of all see her in a sexual way. Her head pounded, the pain knocking the breath from her chest as she sank down onto the couch and rocked back and forth. She wrapped her arms about herself, trying her hardest to dislodge the ache inside her head. She fought to breathe, fought to control her clammy hands as they trembled.

Aria undid the tight bun at her nape; the luxurious strands tumbled down her back as she sifted her fingers through the silk like tresses. She hadn't worn her hair down since she was a girl. Having her hair down made her neck hot, made it sweat. She blew out a breath, it stank. The vomit smell still clogged her mouth as she got up to brush her teeth. She cupped her hands as water filled her palms and doused her face with it. The water was cold and felt great as it trickled down her feverish face. She reveled in the feel of it.

She pulled off the restricting blouse she had on and tugged down her skirt along with it, selecting a shirt that was way too big for her, and a pair of night pants. She chewed her lip as she did laundry. She loved doing laundry. It calmed her. She ignored the hunger pangs in her stomach. She wasn't hungry. She couldn't eat. Just thinking of food made her sick.

She folded up the clean clothes, and then she put them away. Her hands hungered for more to do. She did some light house cleaning, inhaling the smell of cleaning supplies as the chemicals filled the entire apartment. She also got down on her hands and knees and scrubbed the floors throughout the medium sized apartment. She was hot and sweaty by the time she was done. She stripped herself bare and stepped under the shower to wash all the sweat and grime away. She felt much better afterwards.

It was noon when she padded into the kitchen to make herself a cup of coffee. She liked her coffee black with extra cream and extra sugar. She blew the steam away as she took small cautious sips, moaning deeply as the dark liquid ran down her throat. It warmed her belly as she crawled up onto the sofa and drew up her knees beneath her. Her fingers gripped the mug with care as her eyes started to droop. She stifled a yawn with her hand. She sank more into the couch, loving the feel of the soft cushion against her body. She dozed off and on, never loosening her grip on the cup.

She woke as a knock sounded at the door. She drained the rest of the coffee as she unfurled her limbs and got to her feet. She winced as her body screamed in protest from remaining in the same position too long. She sat down the mug, before trudging over to the door. She peeked through the little peephole, seeing who it could be. She froze as though she was a deer caught in headlights, her mind racing as sickness gripped her once more. She didn't know what to do. She didn't want to answer, but the persistent knock came again. Her breath came out in a rush as she leaned her head against the door, swaying on her feet as her hand grasped the door handle.

So many thoughts ran through her mind. How did he find her? How did he know she was home? How did he find where she lived? She hadn't told anyone, no one except the school. But they wouldn't give out her information, not without her permission. Another knock came. She ignored it for now. What did he want? She spied through the peephole again, making out those Ivy League good looks. She wrestled with whether or not to open the door. She didn't trust him, didn't trust anyone.

Would he hurt her if she allowed him in? Would he force himself on her? He had already made his intentions known. Was she even able to stop him if he were to rape her? A sour taste filled her mouth as she broke out in a cold sweat. Not again, a voice in her head screamed. She hated being scared, helpless. It would hurt. It had hurt the first time when detective Wilden had raped her. She was glad that monster was put away in prison where he belonged. Though that knowledge still didn't make her feel safe. She would never feel safe again.

She took a deep breath, and then she opened up the door, blocking the entrance with her small body. She felt so small compared to him as his intense steel blue gaze ran over her. He towered over her. She had to crane her neck just to look up at him. She wasn't able to hide the fear in her big brown depths. She wanted him to leave. What was he doing out of school? He moved closer to her and she bit her lip as she stood her ground. It took a lot of effort not to flinch away from him. She wouldn't let him scare her.

His bedazzling bedroom eyes continued to grace her form, none of her went unnoticed. It made her uncomfortable, seeing the lust in those beautiful steel blue eyes. It was as though he could see the secrets she was hiding. The ones she hid from the world. He didn't come any closer and she was thankful for it. He obviously saw how nerves he made her.

Her body tensed, her body held so that she could be ready for flight at any giving time. She was on high alert, her eyes darting over his shoulders and around them as she thought of ways to escape if anything went south with him. Other escape routes formed inside her head, her mind silently counting down the seconds. She could see that he knew what she was thinking, his eyes full of maturity. How come she had never seen it before? She really looked at him, looked past those great looks and youthful but also masculine face. She realized at that moment, he wouldn't hurt her, wouldn't rape her. Her body lost some of its stiffness but she still remained alert.

Aria moved back and let him into the undecorated, barely furnished apartment. He shot her a charming smile as his eyes zoomed around with interest, taking in all her belongings. She didn't have much. She didn't need much. She just needed enough to get by. She had never allowed anyone into her apartment. She had trust issues.

Her troubled, slightly anxious eyes didn't falter from him. She noticed he carried a big brown grocery bag in one hand as he moved over towards her kitchen as though he owed the place. He was very arrogant, commanding. She didn't know if she liked those qualities in him. He walked with a purpose, his powerful long legs eating up the space in a manner of minutes. She followed closely on his heels, still not able to trust his intentions.

She watched on from a distance as he started to unload the grocery bag, taking every item of food out. He had brought a lot of things for her. She couldn't understand why. Why had he done that? She could make out a packet of boneless chicken breast, a box of egg noodles and a carton of chicken broth, and fresh vegetables. Those were the items for a chicken noddle soup. Was he making that for her? Did he cook? He looked as though he lived in a kitchen as he moved around it so experimentally as he went about pulling out a number of pots and pans, and cutlery.

No one had ever cooked for her before. She always had to fend for herself. She didn't grow up with loving parents. She had never known them. She had been abandoned when she'd been a baby. She had gone through a lot of foster homes. They had been the worse, every single one of them. The system had failed her. She'd been happy when she had come of age. She had been able to make her own way, provide for herself as she had always done.

No one had cared enough about her. To them, she simply hadn't mattered. No one in the system did. She leaned her hip against the kitchen counter as he cut up the vegetables nicely with perfect precision. He looked totally relaxed in her kitchen, occasionally glancing at her. She didn't shy away from his gazes, not liking how those looks made it difficult for her to breathe. It felt as though her stomach was doubled up in knots. She didn't want to be hyperaware of him. She wanted to remain neutral where he was concern.

She broke contact first, not missing the disarming smile he flashed. She moved over to the wall to better observe him. She pressed back against the opposite wall as he poured in the chicken broth, and then he stirred it with a wooden ladle. He went light on the seasoning, not wanting to overdo it. She ran strained fingers through her long straight dark hair and chewed her lip again. She couldn't understand why she was allowing him to be familiar with her. Mr. Fitz being in her apartment wasn't appropriate, or right. She had to stop him.

Aria's train of thoughts were lost as he stepped back from the stove and laid his jacket down onto the counter top. She looked frightened and on the verge of bolting from the room as she gazed his rippling triceps and biceps, the t-shirt that stretched across his muscular chest and well-defined pecs, and highlighted the six-pack abs he sported. His back was very broad, almost appealing to her. His denim jeans rode low on his lean hip bones, and traveled down to his sneakers. She forced her eyes back up his body, her eyes colliding with his. Her creamy cheeks heated with embarrassment. He had caught her eyeing his body. She hoped he didn't get the wrong idea; she didn't want him in that way, didn't want anyone in that way.

"What are you doing here, Mr. Fitz," she asked. Her voice was very subdued. "How did you find out where I lived?"

Steel blue eyes caressed brown ones.

"I heard you were sick, so I wanted to make you some chicken noddle soup to make you feel better," he said as he went back to stirring the large pot of chicken noddle soup. The nice aroma rushed up to Aria's nostrils, but she wasn't hungry. "And I was in the office when you called into work sick. So, when no one was looking, I might have peeked into the staff files to find out your address".

She couldn't say she wasn't surprised. He was the type that always did what he wanted. No matter the consequences.

"You can't be here". She wanted him to leave. She couldn't be alone with him anymore. Just being alone with him made her uncomfortable. Everything about him scared her. Her home was her safe place. She didn't want to feel fear in it. "I think you need to leave".

He ignored her request.

"Try this," he said as he held up the wooden ladle for her to taste the hot soup. She refused, turning her head away when he took a step towards her rigid form. "I promise you, it isn't poisoned or drugged".

How was she to know that? She didn't know him. She didn't trust him.

She didn't budge or open her mouth for him. The chicken noddle soup looked amazing and smelled good as well, but she didn't want any. He looked semi frustrated at her refusal to try his soup, slightly offended that she thought he had bad intentions towards her. He would never cause her harm. He wasn't that kind of guy. He just wanted to know her. He had never cooked for another person before, most of all, a woman. He wasn't a domestic guy. He'd never done nice things for people.

"Please, just leave". She hated begging. It made her sound weak, like she wasn't capable of taking care of herself. "You have already broken enough rules as it is. Don't make me report you to the principal".

That damnable charming smile of his was gone.

"Why do you want me gone so badly?" Mr. Fitz asked with hard steel blue eyes. In three long strides he had her backed against the wall, his hands on either side of her face. She was scared, felt cornered. She squeezed her eyes tightly together, waiting for the blows to her face. She was breathing too heavily as her chest rose and fell. She waited for the sounds of her clothes ripping, the cruel feel of his hands on her body. "I want to know you, Ms. Montgomery. I have never met another woman like you. You're very beautiful, sexy as hell".

She kept her eyes closed.

"It's inappropriate". He smelled purely of male and exotic spice. The scent of him made her feel strange. Even his breath was very pleasing. "You should have never gone through staff files. They are private for a reason. They aren't for the eyes of students. You could have gotten expelled, or worse kicked off the basketball team".

She'd remembered he was captain of Rosewood's high basketball team. His eyes searched hers intensely as he pushed up against her stiff form, loving the feel of her. He could feel the panic rolling off her, but he hadn't meant to scare her. He just wanted brief contact with her. Her hands came up to shove him back from her. She didn't like him invading her space. She began to shake as he brushed up harder against her, her back biting into the wall as she came into contact with it. He didn't like her being afraid of him, he could clearly see something had traumatized her, ward her off on human contact.

"I don't give fuck about the rules, or about what's right or wrong. I never had". She didn't like the fact he was looking deep inside of her. "Would you really report me to the principal?"

She would.

"Yes, I would". Her voice was so matter of fact. "Please, just take your soup and leave my apartment".

He eyed her closely, his breath trailing along her stunning countenance.

"I have no right to ask you this, but open up those big brown gorgeous eyes of yours" he said gravelly, ghosting his fingertips across her closed lids. She shuddered inwardly from the gentle strokes of his fingertips against her sensitive flesh. She stopped breathing, going absolutely still. She didn't try to fight. There was no use. She didn't have a chance against his strong build. She just wanted it over with. She squeezed her quavering thighs together, anticipating his rough intrusion into her body. The pain would be unbearable. She wouldn't cry, wouldn't shed a single tear. She went numb all over as she choked back a scream. She wouldn't scream. Screaming didn't help, it never did. She could already imagine the weight of his body on top hers, of his fast and harsh thrusts. Once more, she was dying inside. She should have never invited him into her apartment. They would say she wanted it, that she asked for it. No matter how painful it would be, she wouldn't report it. She liked Rosewood. She didn't want to run again. All she had to do was give him what he wanted. She didn't think he would want her for a second time. "I want ever hurt you".

She opened her eyes again, wanting to believe him, but she didn't. She didn't say anything. She stayed silent.

"I want to fuck you". The words were spoken huskily, his bedazzling bedroom eyes staring back at her lustfully as they darkened with more heat. "I want to feel myself deep inside you".

She went paler than she already was, her big eyes growing rounder and rounder as scarce air rushed back into her lungs.

"Where do you want me?" Aria couldn't hide the fact she was afraid. She didn't appear to be there in the same room with him. It felt as though she was outside of her body, observing everything that was happening. "Do you want me on the kitchen counter, or the couch, or in my bedroom?"

She looked so distant, so far away.

"I'm not going to rape you" he said a bit angrily, mad that she thought he was capable of doing something as vile as that. He wasn't a monster. She thought he was, but he wasn't. He didn't want her by force. He wanted it to be a mutual agreement between them. "Do you really believe I'll force myself on you? I have never raped a girl. All the girls I have ever slept with were always willing".

Her silence spoke for her.

He shook his head in bafflement and stepped away from her, finally creating space between them. He stared at her with pity, with anger for a few seconds longer, before snatching up his jacket from off the counter top, and then he stormed out. She unfroze her body and went to go lock and padlock the door behind him. She constantly hated living in fear. Detective Wilden had done that to her. She knew she would never ever be the same again. She was no longer able to trust. She would always be looking over her shoulder, scared someone else might attack her. What he had done to her had shattered her whole world. She would never be fooled again, especially not by great looks and charming deceptive smiles.

Sorry for the long wait guys but I have been very busy with school. Review and let me know what you thought about this chapter! And I'm sorry to say that I'm still not feeling this story, so I might or might not finish it. I don't have any motivation for it to tell you the truth.