L.

Situations

Chapter 4

It's awkward when you have a crush.

It's even more awkward when your crush, turns into an obsession.

It's downright embarrassing when your obsession, turns into unexplainable, unattainable, love.

My name is Deidara.

And I fell in love with the perfect man.

Situations Situations

I stifled a yawn as I arched my back and began to work out the kinks that had set in from sleeping all night on the couch. Which was a lot. I glanced around at my surroundings and rubbed the remainder of sleep from my eyes as I slowly got to my feet. I was in my flat, but the place was trashed with art supplies of all kinds. Everything from acrylic paint, to oven fired clay.

I wasn't too sure how my flat got this way, but the way my night went, anything was fucking possible.

A heavy sigh escaped my mouth and I began to make my way into the kitchen only to step on something sharp.

"Holy fuck!" I howled and jumped back, hopping on one leg. "Fuck fuck fuck!" I grasped my now bleeding left foot and glared down at the carving knife lying innocently on the floor.

"What the hell?" My head whipped to the side to see Sasori standing in my bedroom doorway rubbing his eyes. "What the hell is going on Deidara? It's fucking five in the morning."

I scowled and applied pressure to the wound under my foot. "My fucking foot is bleeding." I grumbled and attempted to put my foot down only to yank it back up when a fresh bout of pain began.

"Your foot is bleeding?" He moved from the door to come up beside me. "How-never mind. Sit down I'll get the first aid kit." He muttered and gave me a light shove on the shoulder so I went crashing back down on the couch.

I heaved a heavy sigh and tried to ignore the pain.

Sasori was a friend of a friend who was now crashing at my place while on a trial period at an art studio. I didn't know him too well, only that he was an artist, like me.

We only meant last night.

And then I wanted to smash my head against the wall.

He was like no one I ever met before.

He was calm and collected, yet strong and intense.

He was quiet, yet intelligent.

In short, he was hot.

"Where is your medical kit?" His voice traveled from the bathroom.

"In the cupboard. Where else?"

I watched him out of the corner of my eye as he walked down the hallway with the medical kit in hand; noting for the first time how he was dressed. He wore only plaid pajama bottoms.

Nothing else.

That only made me aware of how I was dressed; a white wife beater and pajama bottoms.

"Found it." He mumbled and sat directly in front of me on the coffee table. It was then my eyes began to roam and I really began to take him in. He was indeed naturally pale, unlike me who was tan, and had an amazing body. I mean it was like he was fucking carved by angels. His arms flexed naturally with every move and his abs. Holy crap his abs.

Now might be a good time to mention that I am gay.

And quite happy with my sexuality.

"Give me your foot." He ordered, though it didn't connect to my brain.

I was still gaping at his abs.

"Deidara." He took my bleeding foot in his hands, successfully pulling me back down to earth. "You alright?"

I scowled to myself but nodded. "Yeah. How does it look?" I winced as he began to dab a peroxide covered cloth over the offending wound. "Not too bad." He answered clinically, not at all bothered.

"Good." I mumbled, tearing my eyes away from him to stare out at the rooftop.

I couldn't be attracted to him.

I wouldn't allow myself to be attracted to him.

He was Konan's friend for fucks sake!

After a few seconds of cleaning to caked on blood from the bottom of my foot, he began to fan the wound to make the skin dry faster. "So…" He began casually, pulling my attention back to him. "How did you…" He gestured to my foot propped up on his leg.

I sighed and sunk down lower in the couch. "Stepped on a knife."

He nodded, his red hand falling into his eyes. "Right…" He cast a glance around the flat. "Best clean up then."

I shrugged, use to the mess.

Situations Situations

It was weird having someone else invading my personal sanctuary. I wasn't at all use to it.

I had to be considerate of someone else, which was new to me. I was use to drinking all of the coffee in the peculator, taking long showers and spending hours in the bathroom combing my hair. But suddenly, there was someone else to be concerned about.

So there I stood in front of the bathroom mirror, pulling a comb though my long blonde hair trying to get all of the tangles out. Having long hair was such a fucking pain in the ass, maybe I should cut it?

Suddenly the bathroom door slammed open.

"What the fuck?" I glared at Sasori through the mirror. "No one ever teach you to knock on the fucking door?"

He glared back at me and stalked in, making a beeline for the toilet. "No one ever teach you consideration?" He shot back, pulling down the zipper to his pants.

"You gonna take a piss right now?" I asked, slightly panicking.

"No I'm going to milk a goddamn cow-what the hell do you think?" He spat and pulled out his dick.

That was the moment I chose to leave the bathroom, my hair completely forgotten.

Since then, I always locked the bathroom door and never spent too long in there.

Least he know how to pick the damn lock.

Situations Situations

The next morning woke to sounds of someone cursing. Not exactly my ideal way to wake up. Turns out, that I should have just stayed in bed. As soon as I walked into the living room, I almost lost my manly bits to a knife being thrown my way.

Knives just don't seem to like me nowadays.

The blade didn't hit my balls, and I silently thanking whatever God that would listen for sparing me and ventured forth.

Turns out Sasori was working on something.

Something that involved a lot of sharp objects, cursing, and bad luck on my part.

I high tailed it out of there faster than a dog taking a piss.

Situations Situations

So I hid out in work that day; which was something I never had to do before. Hide from my own flat? Even it sounded stupid to my ears.

"Deidara sir, is there anything I can get you?" I glanced down at the secretary for the art studio to see her batting her long, fake eyelashes at me. If memory serves, her name was Karin or something to that effect. She was a short, messy red head with glasses and funny colored eyes.

In short, I wanted her to stay the hell away from me.

"No no…Karin…I'm fine." I laughed awkwardly and began to scoot my way upstairs to the working studio.

"Are you sure?" She followed me step for step, her high heels clicking. "I can get you anything you want…" She trailed off seductively, leaning forward to give me an eye full of the tops of her breasts that were basically popping out of her shirt.

It was a wonder that the buttons on her blouse were holding on so long.

Hats off to them.

"No, I'm good Karin. Really I don't need anything."She forced me back onto the first step.

"How about something you want?" She winked at me and licked her lips. "I can give you a-"

"Karin I swear if I need anything at all, I'll come find you." I put my hands up in defense.

"Oh my God!" She grabbed my hands and pulled them towards her. "What happened to you?" She ran her fingers over the scars on the palms of my hands. "They look like…are you okay?"

With a little force I managed to pull my hands out of hers. "Yeah, they are old. It was a sculpting accident. Now id you'll excuse me…" Then I ran up the stairs like hell.

And this is why I choose to work at home.

Essentially, the working studio above the sales floor belonged to me. I was the only artist employed there that was granted access to work there. Everyone else had to work at home and then transport their pieces here.

I was one lucky son of a bitch.

Situations Situations

I went back to my flat at about nine that night, praying that Sasori was done with whatever the hell it is he was doing.

I really didn't want to be accidentally impaled by anything sharp.

Or dull for that matter.

Nothing prepared me for the sight that I was met with as soon as the door opened. There stood Sasori in all his glory. Okay, well maybe not all his glory but defiantly some of it. He stood in the middle of the living room, without a shirt, only some old, beat up blue jeans he probably throws on for work, working on his, for lack of a better word masterpiece.

He had built what appeared to be a puppet, but in the image a human.

Which scared me shitless-the damned thing was so lifelike.

Talk about having talent.

"I'm back…" I trailed off, not wanting to be on the receiving end of his wrath.

He glanced over his muscular shoulder and nodded at me. "Welcome home." He whispered to me, much like the way a boyfriend might welcome home his boyfriend from a long day of work.

I breathed deeply, willing away the impending boner I felt coming.

I needed a drink.

A nice, hard, liquor filled drink.

I dodged into the kitchen, poured myself a shot of whiskey and leaned on the counter. Bad move. Bad fucking move.

There he was, staring intently into the eyes of his puppet, painting the irises.

I gulped down my drink; not even tasting the alcohol then made a beeline for my bedroom and tossed myself onto my bed. There was no denying it.

I had a crush on Sasori.

With that last, remaining tortures thought sleep pulled me down into her waiting arms.

Situations Situations

Within two weeks, my crush turned into a full out obsession.

Unconsciously I found myself making an extra cup of coffee for him in the mornings, putting away my art supplies as to not upset him, leaving hot water in the pipes so he can take a shower right after me, and calling him when I was going to be five minutes late home.

I knew exactly how he liked his eggs and precisely how much sugar to put into his coffee.

I knew that he favored grapes to bananas and only ate dessert on Fridays.

And I also knew that I was obsessing over him in a very stalkerish way.

I groaned loudly and threw the brush I was using to paint with on the floor and stalked away from the half painted canvas. I could no longer concentrate knowing that Sasori was in my shower right now.

Naked.

With water flowing over that sexy body.

And soap lathering all-

"Fuck!"

I gritted my teeth, grabbed my jacket and ran out of my flat.

Situations Situations

So where did I run to?

The only place that I knew off the top of my head obviously.

Fucking Ino Yamanaka's place.

I knocked on her door, practically jogging in place waiting for her to open up. After a few seconds I knocked again. "Ino!" I growled as soon as she yanked the door open while simultaneously buttoning her shorts.

"Deidara?" She blinked then opened the door for me to enter. "What brings you here?" She asked, closing the door behind me and following me into the living room.

"Stuff…" I threw myself absently on her loveseat and let out a long, suffocating sigh.

"Alrightt…" She sank into the chair opposite me and fixed her purple blouse. She allowed me a few minutes to calm down before she began mothering me. "Would you like to talk about it?" She asked sweetly, standing up and walking to her kitchen to make our ritual pot of tea.

Any time I show up at her place, anxious, tongue tied and distant she always gave me about five minutes to clam the fuck down, made a pot of tea, pulled out some cookies and shut off the phone.

It was our time.

It was when she devoted herself solely to me and whatever the hell it was that freaked me out.

Which I was entirely grateful for.

No matter how weird it seemed, she was the only one who I could really relate to.

"Here we go." She sang as she placed a tray filled with a hot kettle, two cups and a plate of cookies on the coffee table. She then proceeded to pour tea into the two cups, sweeten them both before handing me mine. "So…talk to me hun. What's eating you?"

The question hung in the air.

There was no way I could answer her.

How do I say that I'm attracted to my flat mate?

Ino ran her fingers though the ends of her hair and smiled knowingly at me. "Alright, I'll talk." She took a deep breath. "So I went to the village yesterday-you know the ones with all the cute little shops in it? Anyways while I was on my way to the sunglasses shop-the one with the little girl who's always there-I ran into the biggest dog I've ever seen! He was black with long shaggy fur and just the sweetest thing ever! So of course I stopped and smiled; I wouldn't touch him though-you know how much…"

I chewed the inside of my cheek and stared past Ino's head as she continued to talk, blathering on and on about something. I honestly wasn't listening to one word she was saying.

It went on like that for about thirty more seconds before she stopped talking and began to stare at me.

And I do mean stare.

She just sat there, sipping her tea, staring at me. One leg crossed over the over, her long blonde hair in a pony tail tossed over one shoulder, exposing the side of her neck, and her blue eyes just following me.

I let her do that all of fifty five seconds before I snapped.

"Ino why the hell are you staring at me for?" My lip curled as she smiled.

"You." She sipped her tea. "Weren't listening to me."

My eyes rolled and I crossed one leg over the other. "When do I ever listen to you?"

"Stop biting my head off and tell me what's bothering you."

A frown tugged at my mouth before I sighed, completely defeated. "I…am obsessed."

She let the silence hang in the air for a few minutes before nodding. "With?"

"A person."

"Who is?"

"Not…" I trailed off.

"Gay?" She finished.

This was why I put up with Ino and her unconventional, pushy ways. She always got where I was coming from; no matter how vague.

A small smile crawled its way onto her lips as she shifted in her chair and leaned forward a bit. "Is he hot?" She asked coyly.

I tried desperately to keep the grin off of my face. But failed. "Of course he is."

She tapped a long, manicured nail against her chin. "Is he…" Her eyes narrowed as she stared at me, thinking. "He appreciates art?"

"Naturally."

"Oh tell me why don't you?"

I sighed. "It's…Sasori."

She clucked her tongue. "The guy that's crashing at your place?"

"Of course. Cause life hates me…as well as knives."

Her eyebrows creased but she continued on, ignoring the knife bit clearly not wanting to know. "Are you sure he's straight?"

"What do you mean? Of course he's fucking straight!"

"Oh calm down I only meant if you flat out asked him if he was gay or not. I mean-"

"I am not asking him if he's fucking straight Ino." My eyes automatically sized her up.

"I'm just saying just because you like him doesn't automatically mean he is straight. You can get dates you know." She rolled her eyes but smiled. "Just be open to the damn possibilities will you?"

Situations Situations

I went home after about four hours of relaxing at Ino's, and everything was perfectly fine; that is until the front door stood before me and my heart rate rapidly increased. So after standing in front of the offending thing for a whole three minutes, debating whether or not I should run, I opened it.

Then immediately regretted it.

There he stood in the middle of the kitchen making some coffee looking incredibly sexy. Don't ask me why, he just did.

"Hey, welcome back." He nodded at me then beckoned me inside. "Don't just stand there, come on. Do you want some coffee?"

Stiffly I moved inside, kicking the door closed behind me and moved to the other side of the counter that divided the kitchen and living room.

"So…" I glanced at him standing opposite me.

"You're…into guys huh?"

Awkward silence.

I felt my face heat up as I tore my gaze away from him and stared out at the rooftop behind him.

How did he know?

Is he just fucking with me?

Oh shit.

Oh shit oh shit oh shit.

Do I come out?

Should I?

Would that make him feel uncomfortable?

He can't be gay.

He just can't be.

"Look…Deidara…its-"

"How'd you find out?" I cut him off, sipping at my hot cup of coffee and staring down at the counter top, trying to play it cool. Though on the inside my heart was in my throat and my stomach was at my feet.

He sighed and shifted. "I uh…found you're…magazines."

Shit.

The magazines!

The fucking magazines!

My gay porn!

Inwardly I groaned.

I knew there was something I forgot to do.

Hide my fucking gay stash.

Wait a minute.

My head whipped up to meet his eyes. "You went searching though my fucking closet!"

His intense eyes bore into my own. "Is that what you choose to focus on at the moment?"

"Yes! Because you just outed me to yourself!"

He looked at me funny then chuckled. "Okay…how about I make it up to you for invading your privacy and outing….you to me?"

I worked my jaw, not at all buying anything he was selling.

His eyes flicked down from my face to my chest then back up.

Slowly, he leaned over the counter, and my heart just about stopped. "I" He whispered, his face directly in front of mine. "Am…" His hand gently rested on my shoulder. "…Interested…" His lips just barely brushed mine before he pulled back, eyes trained on my face while my brain shut down.

Holy. Crap.

He is interested.

Interested.

In me?

"Deidara?" At the sound of his voice, I snapped out of it.

"Yeah?" My eyes locked with his.

"Would you like to go out to dinner tonight?"

I swallowed thickly and licked my lips.

This is so fucking unbelievable.

"Y-yeah…yes…." I nodded, trying to suppress the urge to start dancing.

I couldn't believe my fucking luck!

I got the guy!

Who would have thought that he was interested in me?

I fell in love with a man I know I shouldn't have.

I mean, he was straight.

Or at least I thought he was.

But sometimes, you just can't control what your heart wants.

Situations Situations

L.

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