I spent much of my morning with Rameses and his wife and child, who joined us for our morning meal, but shortly thereafter, he was called away by his advisors for some such task that I couldn't name, and Nefertari followed sedately, her pretty, narrow face sedate and accepting. Thus, I was left alone with Rameses' son, who grinned at me with childish glee and took me by the hand almost immediately, dragging me off to the still-lush oasis behind the palace.
"There are so many things that we might do!" he said, "Father told me often of the way you and he cavorted. I wanted very much to meet you, and asked where you had gone, but father would never say. I thought, perhaps, that you had died fighting in some war and that father felt guilt over it, but I guess not! Hey, hey, where were you?" His energy surprised me, to be sure, but it was certainly welcome, and it made me laugh faintly as he ran with me through the greenery.
"I lived in the desert for many years, and have only just been able to return." He paused in his running, and I paused with him as he gazed up at me with wide, curious eyes.
"But why? Why did you go out there? Didn't you know it was dangerous?" I only barely managed to keep from chuckling at that too, but I did manage as the little boy insisted I sit by him atop a stone bench near a small body of water.
"It's a complicated thing, little one; I knew of the danger, but my fear of staying outweighed my fear of leaving. I did not belong here when I left." He didn't understand, and I didn't expect him to; he was only a child, after all. Still, he obviously wanted me to attempt a better explanation, and I could not bring myself to deny him. "I am… your father and I are brothers in spirit, of course; we grew up together and I have never called him anything else. We do not have the same parents, though. When I learned of this… I thought I had no choice but to leave." He looked at me like he'd never seen me, his lips a little parted and his eyes wide.
"But… but father loves you! He talked about you all the time. I don't think he'd ever want you to leave, even if Tuya wasn't your mother too." I touched his head softly, nodding.
"I know that now, but it took… it took time, you see. Time away, with my people." More confusion, and the little boy tilted his head.
"Your people? Aren't… your people are here, aren't they? The same as father's people." I smiled, gentle as I could manage, and shook my head again.
"No. My people are… they've gone, now. But, I'm sure that is something you'll hear more about when you get older." He didn't look as though he wanted to settle for that, and I'm sure I was about to hear just how little he wanted to settle for it (especially since he was, certainly, Rameses' son, and I couldn't imagine a son of Rameses giving in easily) but the servant boy came flying to us like a lightning bolt, expression terrified until he saw me with the boy. I chuckled faintly. "Thought he'd escaped?" I asked, and a thin smile tilted his lips for a moment.
"Amun, please do not run off like that! If you are hurt…," he tried, and the younger boy only grinned.
"I did not run off! I wanted to spend the day with my uncle; does father not trust me to be safe even in that?" There was a familiar haughtiness in the child's voice that made me fight back laughter, and I shook my head and patted the boy's back in response.
"Do not be upset that he wants someone to look after you; it means only that he loves you. He treated me in much the same manner when we were young. I couldn't even go to the city without a cluster of guards, and I certainly didn't look enough like a prince to garner much attention." The set of his jaw took on a very familiar appearance, then, solid and almost haughty. Never could I mistake him for a son of anyone but Rameses, I thought with a slight smile. It was almost as though I were looking through a window at the man in his youth.
"I can look after myself!" he said, his eyes blazing and his expression defensive. I bit back my laughter, not particularly eager to offend the child but amused nonetheless. The servant looked to be in a similar state, although he was obviously better at hiding it, and I could see a faint tinge of horror mixed in with the hilarity he seemed to otherwise feel.
"I'm sure you can, Amun, but do you think that I could not when I was your age? I was raised in much the same way that you have been." His eyes began to glitter instead of burn, at that, and he smiled like a cat, thin and mischievous.
"Of course you couldn't! Father told me that you were a little fool who would take the hand of any stranger who offered him a smile. I would not do something so silly." I wondered, then, whether I should be flattered that Rameses had spoken of me to his child or offended that he had spoken as he had. As it was, I suppose I settled for an odd, confusing mixture of the two, and sighed.
"Rameses has a bad habit of exaggerating things, when it suits him. I was no more trusting than he, really! But, in any case, I think it best that you don't go off where you please without your servant, or a guard, knowing of it. What is your name, by the way? I feel poorly, calling you nothing but 'servant.'" I said, turning my gaze to the slightly older boy, whose cheeks darkened slightly at my sudden attention.
"Reseph," he answered, and I nodded. Amun took me by the hand and glared up at me playfully, then, his lips pursed in a slight pout.
"Uncle Moses, do not insult my father! He does not lie!" I laughed.
"Not on purpose, certainly, but as I said, he exaggerates, and he worried over me terribly when we were young." A certain seriousness that didn't belong on the face of a child appeared in his expression, then, and I felt myself stiffen at the sight of it.
"He worried over you later, too. He never liked it when people talked about you, not even me. He did think you were dead. I remember how sad he was, when someone came back to the palace with your jewelry. He wouldn't see anyone for days. Even grandfather worried over his health, then." I swallowed stiffly and took the child into my arms suddenly, as if I thought that by doing so I could heal whatever hurt I'd caused Rameses in my absence. The boy felt stiff at my touch for only a moment before he relaxed and wound his arms around me as well, his face burying itself into my neck.
"I never meant to hurt him, I can promise you that. I have never loved anyone like I love your father, and cannot imagine that I ever will." The boy sniffed.
"He said you were like this too. I wanted to know you so badly when I was smaller."
"You will know me now, Amun; as much as you would like." I released him at my words, but he kept my hand clasped in his and gazed up at me with wonder, with joy, in his eyes. Reseph watched it all with a very small, faint smile on his face, and as Amun began to tug me deeper into the small oasis, I gestured that he follow us.
"Will you play with me today? I've wanted to go explore the temples for weeks! And then tonight you can come eat with me! And I've got some toys in my room, father told me that some of them used to be yours, I bet you'd like to see them again!" On and on, boundless energy flowing from him in waves until he nearly vibrated with it, and I chuckled.
"Be patient! There are only so many hours in a day, and I'm sure your father will want to see me for at least a while. It has been years, after all." The boy laughed, still bouncing along, and Reseph seemed to have a touch of trouble keeping up with us. I snatched his free hand when he appeared to be falling behind, and reminisced on Tzipporah's little sisters, sweet girls that they had been. Things like this had happened constantly, when I was with them; they truly had seen me as an elder brother almost since the moment I arrived in their home.
"Father has kept you since you arrived! He shouldn't be selfish," he said, and I laughed, free and open and so, so happy, happier than I'd ever thought I could be.
"You mustn't be selfish either, you know; surely you can share me? My company is not that sought after." He looked at me as if he'd never seen me as we left the oasis and entered into an area of rolling sands, heading towards a hulking temple in the distance. Reseph stumbled as his sandal sunk into the unsteady sand, and I paused for a moment to hoist him up by the waist before we continued on our way.
"Don't be stupid," Amun told me, his expression informing me very eloquently that he wasn't entirely sure if his request was even possible. "Besides, father will be plenty busy today. There's supposed to be some people coming today, to trade. He'll probably be in the throne room all day." I could feel and understand the slight bitterness in his voice; being pharaoh was not something that one could simply put on pause whenever one wanted, not even for one's own children. I myself had barely even seen Seti, unless I happened to get myself into some sort of trouble, and even then it was only long enough for a quick scolding before I was sent on my way. Rameses had seen him a touch more, given that he was the elder son and the crown prince, but even he had had many days wherein he wanted to speak to, or even see, Seti, but had been unable to do so.
In any case, we were nearing the temple, and he turned us towards it on clever feet, ducking through the slightly darkened doorway with myself, Reseph on my arm, just behind him. I settled the older boy on his feet and looked around the room we had found ourselves in, seeing it large and glorious, the walls painted with all manner of stories, and a large statue of Osiris at the center. Amun panted heavily, looking around with a wide smile as he took in the sights, and dropped my hand so that he could wander the room unimpeded. Reseph swayed somewhat dangerously, and I took him by the bicep worriedly.
"Reseph? Are you well?"
"I… I'm sorry. My leg, it doesn't work well. It is why I was assigned to the palace." I nodded.
"Don't apologize for that. Go on, sit for a while. I've been to this temple many times; I'll look after him." He nodded, lowering himself to the floor with a faint hiss of pain, and I went behind the statue to find Amun gently tracing the back wall, reading it with careful, almost professional eyes, until he reached the doorway that led deeper into the temple, to the places where primarily only the priests would tread. I followed him through, finding a place draped in soft fabrics and cushions, the scent of incense permeating the air. I recalled, once, when Rameses and I had tethered a few camels in here. It had taken weeks for the priests to clean it up! I snickered to myself at the memory, and Amun dived into the pile of pillows, grinning up at me with pleasure as he was half-buried in them immediately.
"Hey, Moses?" he asked me, and I hummed in response, settling beside him as he bid me. "Who was that woman you came here with?" I paused for a moment, wondering how he knew I'd come here with a woman, before I recalled the small body on the dais with Rameses when I arrived, before he was led away when Rameses grew upset.
"Ah, that was my wife, Tzipporah."
"You're married to her?" he asked, and I almost thought to be offended at how much that seemed to surprise him.
"I am; she looked after me, when I arrived at her village after my wandering in the desert. She and her family are very kind." He looked as scandalized as a child could possibly look, his young face twisted with shock.
"She's a Hebrew!" he yelled, as if I didn't know, and I hushed him calmly, nodding.
"So I realized. You remember that I told you that I am not your father's brother by way of shared blood, don't you?" He huffed.
"Of course. It wasn't even an hour ago! Do you think I'm stupid?"
"Not at all; a son of Rameses never could be, he wouldn't allow it. In any case, what I'm trying to say, and likely failing at, is that I am a Hebrew as well, just as my mother, and my blood siblings. When I returned here, my aim was to free them, not to stay, but stay is what I did, and they are gone now, led away by my wife. I only pray that they are well." Saying it like that, all at once, reminded me of the melancholy I'd thought I'd lost in the days I'd been here. Amun slid a bit away from me, something like fear, like disgust, in his eyes.
"Does father know?" he asked, and I laughed into my palm.
"He does, Amun; he freed them for me. Still he sees me as his brother, as I do him." It was silent for a little while, before he returned to where he had been, a quiet, tired sigh on his lips as he took me by the arm and half-curled into my side.
"I like you, Uncle Moses," he murmured, and I smiled.
"Thank you, Amun. You are much like your father, you know, and not just in looks. You could almost pass for his twin in personality, especially when you want something." That brought another grin to his face, although this one was more tired than any I'd seen before. I think he made the attempt to respond, in any case, but I couldn't make out what he said he murmured it so lowly, and in mere moments he'd fallen into a deep sleep. I waited for a few minutes longer before I stood and hefted him into my arms, settling his head on my shoulder and moving slowly so as to not jostle him awake.
I entered the main room of the temple again to find Reseph working his leg, and he stood with very little issue at the sight of me, smiling when he saw Amun.
"I thought it was about time for him to be getting ready for a quick nap."
"Shall we get him back to his room, then?" He nodded, and with that we were off, making our way slowly back to the palace, the young boy sighing happily the whole way, curled carefully into my arms, and more a child then than any other time I'd seen him.
I tucked him into his bed as soon as we reached his room, and smoothed my hand over his forehead with a pale smile. Reseph and I left him there silently, and began to wander through the halls, chattering with one another aimlessly for a time, him asking me curiously about my time in the desert, my blood family, my history, and me inquiring the same of him.
We filled much time like that, and I honestly enjoyed myself very much; he was, after all, a likable boy, and his curiosity and kindness were frankly infectious. I ought to have been paying more attention, though; had I been, the guard would not have managed to grab him and begin running with him.
I yelled loudly for them to stop, my own feet pounding after him, and he never got out of my sight. I was, after all, dressed far more lightly, and he carried a burden where I did not. Eventually I managed to run him into a corner, and found him to be the same guard as before. I straightened my back and attempted to look as princely and authoritative as I could manage, although it was likely not particularly impressive. Still, I didn't think it warranted the truly wicked smirk on the guard's face.
"Release him immediately," I said, and he only laughed, squeezing the boy until I was certain he would bruise spectacularly, and I was about to stride forward and make him let the boy go when I felt hands close like a vice around my waist and whip me around, slamming me hard into a wall.
My breath fell from my lungs in a huff, the action almost painful in and of itself, and Reseph cried out for me worriedly, managing to sink his teeth into the exposed flesh of his captor only once before his head was cracked against the wall and he fell unnervingly silent. I swore, writhing in the grip of the guard who held me, his face darkly amused and unfamiliar.
"Pretty as ever," he mumbled, brushing the back of his hand down my face, and I snapped at him, baring my teeth and snarling, kicking out and hoping to land one even though the way he held me almost surely prevented me from getting enough leverage to do any real damage. "And just as slow to admit defeat."
"Let me go immediately," I hissed, and he only laughed, pressing his thigh between my legs and forcing me to total stillness. The other guard was laying Reseph on the ground, then, his bulk nearly obscuring the small boy from my view, and I twisted in a vain attempt to free myself. "I will not stand for this."
"You haven't got a choice. Some prince you are, hm? You've none of your brother's might." And then I recognized him; this was him, the guard I had feared. He was older now, yes, but there was no mistaking him. My struggling doubled, all of my childish fears coming back to me even now that I was an adult. I screamed and cried, desperation tinging my voice to its core, and he only smirked at me, pressed me more firmly to the wall before he covered my mouth with his own. It felt like an assault, his teeth clamping harshly onto my lower lip until I cried out, at which point his tongue invaded my mouth. He tasted like cheap alcohol, sharp and rank, and finally I managed to land a knee in his gut that only served to anger him more. "Bitch," he hissed at me, and I spat in his face when I had the chance.
He sneered and slapped me with the back of his hand, hard enough that my head snapped to one side. Reseph groaned where he lay beneath the other man, and still more desperation filled me. What could I do, really? Was there anything? I could not fight, not like this, pinned to the wall, and I could not seem to get him off of me.
The terror made my thoughts fly like the fastest of horses across my mind, so quickly that I couldn't even see to totally process them, but it didn't help. If anything, it only made my heart pound faster, until my blood drummed so loudly in my ears that I couldn't hear anything else. I thought for a short moment that my fears as a child would come true then, in sharp, awful detail, before I heard a blessed, familiar voice.
"My, my. Who, may I ask, gave you permission to handle my brother thusly? You really mustn't care very much for your life," Rameses said, ice injected in his every word and venom in his eyes. The man holding me stiffened with abject terror, and I didn't blame him. Rameses was on a war path, I could tell just by his tone and his expression.
"Pharaoh," he said, almost begged, and dropped me. The man who lay atop Reseph stumbled pathetically to his feet and tried to run, but I caught him by the ankle when he tried to pass me and sent him sprawling. Rameses gave me a quick, pleased grin, the expression cutting across his expression like a knife wound before he was nothing but solid stone again. "I did not mean-," he tried, but Rameses shook his head.
"You believe that you can lie to me? I have heard and I have seen enough of what you have done to know the truth. Why were you harming my brother?" he asked, a strange emphasis on the word "my", as if it were the most important word that had ever passed his lips.
"Please," the guard begged, but Rameses shook his head with a sigh that was meant to sound disappointed, but to my ears, I heard nothing but pleasure. He gestured once, with his right hand, and more guards came from around a corner and took him roughly by both of his arms, yet more of them hauling the man I'd tripped to his feet and dragging him off. Rameses was at my side before they were even gone, his fingers gently stroking my newly bruised, stinging cheek, and I laughed faintly, wavering and full of residual adrenaline.
"I'm alright, Rameses, I promise. Reseph, though, we must get him to the doctor; his head was struck quite roughly. He didn't respond. His dark eyes burned my skin to ash, and I, again, did not understand him. It was a common theme, really, me not understanding him; he could be so otherworldly, sometimes. "Rameses?" I asked, and he shook his head.
"You are mine, Moses." He said it with the same certainty with which he claimed Egypt, his place as the morning and the evening star. My heart seemed to stop in my chest, and memories flooded into my mind, memories of the previous night, of his lips on mine, and then, then they weren't memories anymore, they were what was happening.
His lips were a caress compared to the guard's, his hands cradling the my cheek and the back of my head, and I didn't know what to do in the face of it even though I knew what I had done the night before, knew that I had returned his kiss. But now, when I had no excuse of alcohol, knew what I was doing, how could I do such a thing? Rameses was… he was… my hand trailed without my consent to his shoulders, wrapped around him and pulled him near me and I was kissing him again, desperately, as if I needed him and his touch to even breathe. I was sure that how natural, how right, this felt could simply not be normal, and yet… oh, but I was surely lost. My solace came in that at least Rameses was lost at my side.