World 1-4: Regression

2:30 PM

After spending about fifteen minutes being searched for any potential weapons, bombs or other problematic contraband, they were finally allowed into the Mayoral Estate. They were greeted by an older gentlemen with a thick mustache wearing a formal brown suit. Were it not for his trappings and accent he could almost be mistaken for Toad's father – they had the same piercing green eyes, the same smooth complexion and the same short stature.

"Welcome gentlemen, thank you for coming out on such short notice. I am certain you all are keeping quite busy," he said in jovial tones, his hands moving animatedly as he spoke.

"Oh you know us. There's always some dirty work to be done in this city," Luigi said, feeling a kindred spirit to this overly excited man.

Mario just grunted as he was led to the source of the catastrophic plumbing failure. This was bound to be a pain in more ways than one and his work day ended no later than 6 PM, big government job or not.

"So will we get to meet the mayor today?" Luigi said, elbowing the man in the ribs playfully.

"No, I'm sorry, but our mayor is in another estate. She's a busy woman and this is awfully inconvenient of course," the man said. "But you will have her personal assistant at your disposal. Professor Artemis Todd. Truth be told I was actually the mayor's private tutor before I became her right hand man."

I clean shit for a living, Mario thought glumly. His backstory was nowhere near as interesting and his life had been, at best, average in every way.

"Luigi Saltare," Luigi said, shaking Professor Todd's hand. "Me and my brother Mario here don't exactly have a fancy life like yours but we're born and bred hardworking citizens. Ain't that right brother?"

"Hard-working when we're not chatting with customers," Mario said, but he took the Professor's hand out of courtesy.

"I realize this might sound a bit foolish coming from somebody like me," Professor Todd began. "But don't measure your life in comparison to others. We each have our own journey, and what is important is that we enjoy it for what it is. Call me an old fool if you like, but some of the happiest men I've known come from nothing."

And return to it shortly thereafter, Mario thought again. He then took a moment to re-calibrate his attitude. He realized that his thoughts had been especially dark since the car ride and he couldn't understand what was happening. He was never exactly cheery, but he had been filled with a strange sense of impending dread since walking into the mansion.

"Thanks, Professor. I'm still just 'getting old' so it's nice to hear some good news for a change," Mario said.

The Professor let out a small laugh before leaving the two to their work. They had been left in the main bathroom on the ground floor of the affected wing. It was a definite "rich guy" bathroom – elegant tilework, a square tub which looked like it could fit about a half dozen people, and even a sparkling white porcelain commode. Yes, even the thing which literally handled shit was beautiful on the outside and there was a wonderful metaphor there which Mario couldn't quite put his finger on.

And of course this was how the bathroom looked when all the surfaces were not covered in a thin layer of sewage and backup. Luigi looked at some blueprints while Mario got to work removing the commode and opening up a hole in the floor to get access to the reservoir beneath.

"Wow, what a terrible system," Luigi commented. "All the pipes are stacked on top of each other with no diverting chambers and the only reservoir is the one down here."

"So if one sink or shitter gets backed up anywhere on this pipeline, the whole system backs up," Mario grunted. He'd seen inefficient layouts like this before designed to save time, space and money rather than make a functional plumbing system. "We're gonna have to clear the whole system and by the looks of it replace the burst pipes on three floors."

"We could install the chambers ourselves, maybe fix this up so it don't happen again," Luigi suggested.

"That's a three day job, and not what we're paid to do. I don't want to spend anymore time here than we have to. It's already gonna take two days just to fix this mess. Can you go tell the Professor what we're dealing with here?" Mario explained.

Luigi nodded. "Usual rate?"

"I'm not gonna price gouge the mayor. Parts and labor, that's it," Mario said.

To be fair, they usually only raised the price if there was a repeat problem customer – or if they were particularly behind on bills - but that tactic had probably resulted in them having less and less clients over the years. Unethical perhaps, but the karmic results made Mario sleep easy. Still his desire to remain as under-the-radar as possible on this one, less for the government aspect and more for the definite mob ties aspect, ruled out this mercenary option.

With Luigi gone, Mario reached instinctively into his pocket but then remembered that nothing was there. Today was going unbelievably poorly for him to need a third hit but he really did. He wanted to escape into that other world for a few hours and maybe the job would be done. He knew from experience that he was able to work on the pipes while his mind took a vacation though he was never really sure how. Perhaps he'd just done it so much that it was second-nature to him now, like breathing.

He looked in the mirror, a fine full-body piece with a mother-of-pearl rim. Here he was, all 5 foot 6 of him. Short, fat, mustachioed and disgustingly sober. He hated himself like this. Shrugging, he decided that it was best to get to work. As he bent over the pipe, reaching into his toolkit with his left hand, he heard a faint whispering coming from within.

He was an experienced plumber, and he'd heard every sound these things made, especially when they were open to the elements. Rattling as a new channel starts flowing, a whining sound of a pipe settling in the colder months, and even a whisper like sound of air pressure flowing out of a pipe when a reservoir is cut off with water, pushing the wind out the opening. These were all normal. But this was not one of those sounds. This whisper was definitely words.

"Mar...hear...elp...pipe..."

Mario had nothing to fall back on at the moment. Something was talking to him through the pipe. He leaned in closer to try and make it out.

"Mario... down... pipe..."

He finally was forced to press his whole ear to the pipe. Only then did it come through with clarity enough to make out a whole sentence.

"Mario... if you can hear me, we're here to help. Just come down the pipe."

Suddenly the door shot open and Mario lifted his head away from the grimy pipe. Unfortunately he hit his head on the still connected bathroom sink above his him and fell down into darkness.